First Trip with One Less

[PlutoTheDog89]

We grew up going to Walt Disney World. My mom and dad would bring us down to Disney, then to Tampa to visit my grandparents. We'd go every 2-4 summers. When I was in college, we started going going every Christmas. We went from 2009-2018. We already decided that 2018 would be our final Christmas for a while. The costs were adding up and we figured that we'd finally travel to other places, like Italy.

Long story short, my dad died suddenly in January, 2019. My love of Disney kinda took a backseat. It'd bring up memories and just make me sad. I still love Disney. In fact, my mom, sister, and I decided to take a trip to Cali this Christmas in my dad's honor and will be doing Disneyland but...

My cousin wants to go next year. She'll be bringing her two girls and my godson and I'd love to be there and see my godson's first time in Disney World (the kid ADORES Mickey)... but I'm worried it's just gonna be sad.

I guess my question is: has any Disney families returned after losing a loved one? Was it melancholy or bittersweet? How did you reclaim your love of Disney after having spent so many amazing times with someone...and now they're not there?

 

[siren0119]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my mom suddenly almost 23 years ago. I've had several things over the years that were fond memories with her, where I had to work through the sadness of her absence while also trying to be in the moment and make new memories. It's VERY hard, especially if you're still figuring out how to grieve that person. It's also something you have to be intentional about. If you go into an experience feeling like you aren't ready to make new memories, it's going to put a pall over the whole experience and the only thing you will be able to focus on is the person's absence.

BUT if you're able to feel the twinges/sad moments and then refocus on the positives of the experience you're having, you are less likely to get totally overwhelmed by the sad emotions. I found over the years that sometimes, it's easy to have bittersweet moments where I miss my mom but I know she'd want me to spend more energy being happy than being sad (this comes up a lot when my kids reach milestones, she died before either of them were born). I have to be really intentional about changing my thinking. Other times it's REALLY difficult to find the good. That's not to say that I push down my emotions....it's TOTALLY ok to let yourself feel what you need to feel when the grief comes over you. It's been 23 years and I still have days once in a while where I just think about how much I miss her and have a good ugly cry over it, or when I'm dealing with tough stuff and need to hide under a blanket for a bit and wish she was there to tell me things will be OK. But the key is not to get STUCK in those emotions. It takes time, and intent.

You might not be ready in a year, and that's totally ok. Everyone grieves at their own pace, there's no time limit on how and when you process everything. I would suggest thinking about joining a grief counseling group, especially if you find the grief is taking over. Something about sharing struggles in a room full of people who really understand does help you work through things. Grief is complicated, but you don't have to figure it out on your own.

 

[Nanceliz319]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my Daddy 3 years ago and he LOVED WDW. He had a motorhome and we would go to WDW (Ft. Wilderness) every 2 years as my boys were growing up. This coming trip will be the first without him. I know there will be some sadness. But I Know he would want us to go. We plan on honoring him specifically as we ride the peoplemover. it was one of his favorites.
I get teary eyed just writing this post. I believe those that have passed can be honored as long as we remember the good times spent there.