First experience with an arm rest hog

[wilkeliza]

Sorry if it looked like I was replying directly to you and not just adding on. I've been on the boards for awhile and was around preupdate where you had to click reply just to be able to reply and it didn't auto-quote who you clicked reply to. It is an old habit that I'm now realizing makes it look like instead of just adding to the conversation I'm replying directly to someone else.

 

[quagmire0]

This is the benefit of having multiple small children. You just surround yourself with them on the plane and you have plenty of room.

 

[sharona]

This is the benefit of having multiple small children. You just surround yourself with them on the plane and you have plenty of room.

Winner!

 

[PatMcDuck]

I'm lucky too, because I often fly with my special needs adult son. I have to put him in the window seat, I always have the middle. But I lean into HIS space if I have to and he is ok with it, lol. When flying alone, I get a window and lean that way.

 

[seashoreCM]

The thread title needs to be changed to "First Experience With A Space Invader"

The airplane is at capacity when everyone is comfortably seated even if the number of heads is smaller than the number of headrests.

... this was commonly known etiquette, but I guess not.

Hard to tell since etiquette is so highly lacking on airplanes and within the confines of (the 50 odd square miles of) Walt Disney World.

A sentence you can jump to conclusions as being false: "There is nothing we can do."

 

[nkereina]

those armrests are so small, only one person can use them. One person can use it and the other can not, so what makes you think you had more right to it than him?

Because the person in the middle SHOULD get both middle arm rests. They already have the burden of sitting uncomfortably in a middle seat, sometimes between two strangers. The person on the aisle gets to lean and stretch into the aisle. The person on the window can lean on the wall. Let the middle seat person have the arm rests.

OP, I would have done what you did. Nothing. It would have created a contentious situation and would have probably made you even more uncomfortable sitting next to that for an hour.

 

[Boopuff]

Because the person in the middle SHOULD get both middle arm rests. They already have the burden of sitting uncomfortably in a middle seat, sometimes between two strangers. The person on the aisle gets to lean and stretch into the aisle. The person on the window can lean on the wall. Let the middle seat person have the arm rests.

OP, I would have done what you did. Nothing. It would have created a contentious situation and would have probably made you even more uncomfortable sitting next to that for an hour.

I've always thought that the middle seat, being the least desirable, should get two arm rests. But as the op pointed out, her issue was with a person of size. I had a 4 hour flight next to a very nice larger lady. My only request was that the armrest be down. My thinking is this, if the person can sit in the assigned space so be it. If not then they need to purchase an extra seat. And as far as overflow? Well if I'm in the middle I may just have to lean on you and take a nap

 

[nkereina]

I've always thought that the middle seat, being the least desirable, should get two arm rests. But as the op pointed out, her issue was with a person of size. I had a 4 hour flight next to a very nice larger lady. My only request was that the armrest be down. My thinking is this, if the person can sit in the assigned space so be it. If not then they need to purchase an extra seat. And as far as overflow? Well if I'm in the middle I may just have to lean on you and take a nap

I agree with you. But it was my understanding that the OP was more annoyed that the passenger took up the entire arm rest in retaliation for OP putting the arm rest down, which made the passenger uncomfortable. Either way, I was just responding to the PP I quoted that was trying to make an argument for the aisle seat passenger having the arm rest - even if both aisle seat person and middle seat person are "average" sizes, I would still give the middle seat person the right to the middle arm rest since they have the crap seat in the first place.

 

[delilah]

Once again I am reminded of a particular flight I had from Denver to Indianapolis on Frontier. My flight originated in Orange County, and on the flight to Denver, I was in the aisle seat, but next to two smallish fellow passengers. I was uncomfortably cold, and there was turbulence that shook us up a bit. On the second leg, I was seated in a row with two large people. the guy in the middle seat was most likely a two-seater, to be fair about it. I spent the second leg of the flight partially under the man in the middle seat. Solved both the problems I had the first part of the flight. I wasn't cold, and I didn't flop around in the turbulence. I am glad I wasn't in the middle seat, because likely, I wouldn't have had a seat, much less an armrest.

 

[dancin Disney style]

I think this whole subject is just another example of how the world is these days. There is a general lack of respect for others. It's really sad.

So I'll toss in my own flight story. This happened to my friend who was sitting in the row ahead of me. We each had one of our kids with us and the kids were in window and moms in the middle seat. A teenage boy sat beside my friend....he most likely needed 2 seats. As soon as he sat down he lifted the arm rest and began stretching out into my friends space, including putting his foot under the middle seat floor space. She started whispering to me between the seats. I told her that the FA would make him put the arm rest down for take off and at that point she could firmly plant her arm on it. Well this kid was so large that the FA could not see the arm rest and never said anything. She had to spend the nearly 3 hour flight with this kid taking up about a third of her seat. I told her to tell the FA but she didn't want to embarrass the kid...all though I think he could have used a little embarrassment. His father sat beside me and was easily as large but he stayed in his own seat.

I've also had the experience of a child kicking the back of my seat continuously. After about 45 minutes I couldn't take it any longer and asked the mom to stop her little darling. Mom looks at little darling and says "are you kicking the seat?" Kid says nothing .....mom says nothing. It stopped for maybe 10 minutes then right back at it. This was a 2.5 hours flight.

 

[goofy4tink]

Because the person in the middle SHOULD get both middle arm rests. They already have the burden of sitting uncomfortably in a middle seat, sometimes between two strangers. The person on the aisle gets to lean and stretch into the aisle. The person on the window can lean on the wall. Let the middle seat person have the arm rests.

OP, I would have done what you did. Nothing. It would have created a contentious situation and would have probably made you even more uncomfortable sitting next to that for an hour.

I tend to agree...but...what happens if the tv controls are on that arm rest? Yes, poor design on the part of the airline. But, if I have an aisle seat, and my entertainment controls are on the arm rest that is between me and the middle seat passenger? Does that person now get to slam his/her arm down there and leave it there, leaving me with no control over my entertainment? I hate having to spend the flight saying 'excuse me' over and over.

 

[nkereina]

I tend to agree...but...what happens if the tv controls are on that arm rest? Yes, poor design on the part of the airline. But, if I have an aisle seat, and my entertainment controls are on the arm rest that is between me and the middle seat passenger? Does that person now get to slam his/her arm down there and leave it there, leaving me with no control over my entertainment? I hate having to spend the flight saying 'excuse me' over and over.

Well, no, but if I was on the aisle seat and I was letting the middle seat passenger have free reign of the middle arm rests, I'd have no qualms about saying excuse me or gingerly moving my hand towards the control so they understand I'm about to change the channel. There's a difference between taking a few seconds to change a channel versus hogging the arm rest the whole time, taking up even more personal space that the middle passenger doesn't have, IMO.

 

[Unas]

I tend to agree...but...what happens if the tv controls are on that arm rest? Yes, poor design on the part of the airline. But, if I have an aisle seat, and my entertainment controls are on the arm rest that is between me and the middle seat passenger? Does that person now get to slam his/her arm down there and leave it there, leaving me with no control over my entertainment? I hate having to spend the flight saying 'excuse me' over and over.[/QUOTE]

Shouldn't be much of an issue, how often does one need to adjust the controls? IIRC the controls are at the front inside of the armrest, where the can be accessed even with the other pax arm on it. That assumes she isn't oozing into the other's space.

 

[tmcmommy]

Size doesn't matter to me. If your elbow and/or arm is touching me in any way, you ARE invading the space in MY seat that I paid for. NOT okay.

I wouldn't pay for EB check-in on a trip a while back and got stuck in the middle seat on both legs of my flight, both ways. I had invaders on every. single. leg. Irritated the heck out of me too because I'm normal sized and the guys on either side of me were too.

It's just not right to cross that line IMO

 

[KJMAX1]

I had a very awkward flight once. I was sitting across from my husband with my young daughter, and I had the middle seat. A military guy got on, and sat next to me. Shortly into the flight he passed out, and was like really passed out. His legs and thighs were pressing on mine. The whole time I keep giving my husband the look like what do I do?!!? He wouldn't even wake up when we were landing and the flight attendant tried to get him to put up his seat. Thank goodness my daughter fell asleep and the whole time I was stuck watching 4 hours of the Real Housewives! Every once in awhile Id shove his leg back over, and it would keep coming back. LOL ....so uncomfortable.

I will say this guy was pretty big and I felt pretty safe sitting next to him.

 

[Lori74]

maybe a sloppy nose blowing and coughing towards the offender might make them move away?

 

[wilkeliza]

I think this whole subject is just another example of how the world is these days. There is a general lack of respect for others. It's really sad.

So I'll toss in my own flight story. This happened to my friend who was sitting in the row ahead of me. We each had one of our kids with us and the kids were in window and moms in the middle seat. A teenage boy sat beside my friend....he most likely needed 2 seats. As soon as he sat down he lifted the arm rest and began stretching out into my friends space, including putting his foot under the middle seat floor space. She started whispering to me between the seats. I told her that the FA would make him put the arm rest down for take off and at that point she could firmly plant her arm on it. Well this kid was so large that the FA could not see the arm rest and never said anything. She had to spend the nearly 3 hour flight with this kid taking up about a third of her seat. I told her to tell the FA but she didn't want to embarrass the kid...all though I think he could have used a little embarrassment. His father sat beside me and was easily as large but he stayed in his own seat.

I've also had the experience of a child kicking the back of my seat continuously. After about 45 minutes I couldn't take it any longer and asked the mom to stop her little darling. Mom looks at little darling and says "are you kicking the seat?" Kid says nothing .....mom says nothing. It stopped for maybe 10 minutes then right back at it. This was a 2.5 hours flight.

To the bolded part. As a mom I can't believe you would advocate embarrassing a child. I'm sure the poor boy gets embarrassed every day of his life. It is one thing to ask him to put the arm rest down and move his foot in a polite manner or even call the FA over. It is another thing to do it in such a way that he would be embarrassed. He probably already is every day of his life.

 

[dancin Disney style]

To the bolded part. As a mom I can't believe you would advocate embarrassing a child. I'm sure the poor boy gets embarrassed every day of his life. It is one thing to ask him to put the arm rest down and move his foot in a polite manner or even call the FA over. It is another thing to do it in such a way that he would be embarrassed. He probably already is every day of his life.

I didn't mean it in the way I feel like you took it. He was at least 16 and bold as all get out. He totally took over my friends seat/space without any regard for anyone but himself. This young man needed a good lesson in courtesy towards others. I simplified the story....there is much more to it.

I am also a mother of 2 and if one of mine did what this kid did I would have been mortified and they would hear about it(they are 16 and 25 but I'd still have plenty to say).

 

[keishashadow]

And boy, do I hope it is the last one! I'm wondering if you guys would have done anything differently, or what maybe I should have said to him.

Picture this: You go to get into your seat. You know you have the middle, as your adult nephew is in the window seat. You approach your row, to see a very unhappy looking older man in the aisle seat. He very grudgingly gets up to let you into your seats and you notice he is rather large sized. You also notice the arm rest is up. You sit in your seat, and when he sits next to you he oozes ( can't think of a better word, sorry) into your space. You quickly say Excuse Me and put the arm rest down. Unhappy man then retaliates by not only hogging the whole arm rest but has his elbow jammed into your side for the whole trip. The only thing you can think to do is to rest your arm on top of his. And you don't like to have skin on skin contact with strangers.

Part of me felt bad, because he was not small and couldn't do anything about his size. But good grief, he was on the aisle, it wasn't as if he was hemmed in. He had to have known he was taking some of my space. Should I have said something about the arm rest? I just sucked it up as it was only an hour long flight, but if it had been any longer I would have really been uncomfortable.

yes, it is an unspoken rule that the middle passenger, by virtue of not having aisle or window perk, gets both armrests.

I'm not what I'd call a small person. Not fat-shaming by any means. Trust me, if you're large you know it. If one is concerned re infringing on a seatmate & to avoid any potential issues, would think you'd research strategies other than buying two seats such as: picking a far rear aisle seat where you might have a chance of an empty middle seat or non-peak time flight. At the very least it's the job of the airline's personnel to be proactive in the gate area when checking in or boarding re this particular issue to try to avoid embarrassing issues. Why not a test seat as they do on some attraction rides the way they are supposed to check oversized carryon bags? Insensitive, no, not when it's a safety issue imo.

OP - didn't catch what airline was involved or whether you had a seat assignment. If on SWA, even with open seating, unless you have a low boarding number, pickings can be slim. Often groups will buy EBIC for one person to stake out a row of seats, it can be frustrating.

I had experience once on AirTran wherein we paid for the window & middle seat assignments near front of plane. A "large" family came in and plopped themselves down in aisle seats near each other. Gent who wound up next to me needed a FA to help him fit into his seat. The FA informed me she had to raise the arm to get him secured, without his seat belt extender never would've fit. I told FA I couldn't lower the armrest, who informed me the flight was sold out...she'd give me a free drink, which I declined, finding it rather insulting.

The passenger increasingly 'spilled over' into my seat space to point where I had to raise the arm between DH & I and sit rather uncomfortably on the hump between our seats, with my seat belt loosened almost to the max. After a half hour of this, I did speak to another FA and stated how I felt this was a dangerous situation. He was shocked and agreed 100%. Literally shoved the guy back into his seat and lowered the arm rest. Asked me to stop & talk to gate agent after our flight, who was profusely apologetic. I received an email within a few days from corporate re the matter. Thought it nice they generously awarded travel vouchers and indicated they would look into it this matter.

 

[maxiesmom]

It was on Delta. When boarding the plane the gentleman made it clear he wasn't happy to have to get up to let us into our seats--he sighed and rolled his eyes and kind of grudginly stepped into the aisle so my nephew and I could take our seats. I kept thinking he was hoping the seat next to him would remain empty, which was ridiculous given they kept announcing the flight was fully booked. I was even able to check my carry-on roller for free, as they were trying to free up some bin space.