First days of dementia really starting to kick in

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

A lot of you in the daily menu or weekly planning threads know I have been spending about half the week at my parents because my dad is struggling health wise. For the first time today my dad thought my mom was me. He's had other confusion but this is the first time he didn't recognize someone. I am so sad and know we entering into a new phase. I'm just praying for the patience and the strength to get through what is coming and to help support my mom. If you feel like it and you could say a prayer it would be much appreciated.

 

[macraven]

I always honor a prayer request.
You will find that many will also.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

I always honor a prayer request.
You will find that many will also.

Thank you kindly. It really does mean something and is very much appreciated.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

If you're comfortable with it, send me his name via PM. Prayers will be said for all of you.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

If you're comfortable with it, send me his name via PM. Prayers will be said for all of you.

Message sent. Prayers are always appreciated. Thank you for you including our family in yours. It really does mean a lot.

 

[Marrila]

Sending a hug and caring thoughts as you navigate these changes. You and your family are in my prayers.

 

[disykat]

Saying prayers for your family. My dad had dementia for a long time and now my mom has it. It's a hard road. I don't know if this will help, but recognition comes and goes. My dad had moments when he didn't know exactly who I was, but I felt like he did know I was family all the way through his 15-year journey with dementia. Now my mom will calm down dramatically when I show up. She may not be able to say my name or state the relationship, but she knows.

This is a club no one wants to join, but there are still beautiful moments.

Take care of yourself. I did the commuting back and forth to help my mom and then to support both of them in care when they wanted to stay in their own community for many years. (Now Dad is gone and mom is near me.) My heart goes out to you.

 

[luvthatduke]

I will keep you & your family in prayer ,
& I pray you will know the Peace that surpasses all understanding.

 

[cayennews]

I am sorry your family is going through this. I will be sending prayers .

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Prayers and peace indeed. Please, please be kind to and take care of yourself. My beloved late grandma had dementia. Such a cruel disease. Thinking of you.

 

[lanejudy]

As someone above said -- it's a club nobody wants to join. But please know that you are not in this alone. Many of us are dealing with the same or similar. Take care of yourself and reach out for support as you need it, even just posting here or a PM to someone. Keeping your family in my prayers.

 

[hertamaniac]

Prayers. I went through it with my father and now can just barely start to see it in my mother. I definitely had to lean into the good "sessions" to make it through the more challenging ones.

 

[Dan Murphy]

A lot of you in the daily menu or weekly planning threads know I have been spending about half the week at my parents because my dad is struggling health wise. For the first time today my dad thought my mom was me. He's had other confusion but this is the first time he didn't recognize someone. I am so sad and know we entering into a new phase. I'm just praying for the patience and the strength to get through what is coming and to help support my mom. If you feel like it and you could say a prayer it would be much appreciated.

Very sorry to hear this news, @tinkerbellandpeterpan. 's. Certainly including dad, you, mom and everyone touched by dementia. Make sure you get support also, as you give your support. Blessings for all.

 

[mjkacmom]

I’m sorry, my dad had it for years. My bright, heathy vibrant mom unfortunately ending up passing after a very brief bought of stage 4 cancer, fortunately we lived in the same town, got him a (turns out crazy) caretaker (who didn’t drive), I had an appointment to sign paperwork for an assisted living place (after we fired his caretaker, my young adult daughter took over for almost a year and just couldn’t do it, even for $1000 a week), he had a fatal heart attack so instead of signing the papers I was at his wake, it was truly for the best, he would’ve hated to leave his home. His sister has it now, runs in the family. It’s so hard!

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Sending prayers

 

[gncntry]

Dementia is truly the long goodbye. Prayers for you.

My mother-n-law was diagnosed 2 years ago with Primary Progressive Aphasia and dementia. She is still in her home with my father-n-law trying to care for her. She doesn’t understand most language nor can she speak coherently. She gets agitated easily, can’t be left alone, and needs help with daily living. They have LTC insurance and my spouse has been fighting with MetLife to get them to live up to their responsibilities. We are on our 3rd appeal this year. Even though her neurologist states in her record that she can’t drive, be left alone, fails memory test, speech test, not permitted to operate stove, needs help with bathing, dressing….MetLife still has their “3rd party doctor” saying she doesn’t qualify….

It’s a battle and I truly feel for you.

 

[cabanafrau]

So sorry you're hurting. I understand the pain and the difficulty accepting new phases as it progresses. My mother in law has slid away into essentially a hollow shell at this point. She bounces back and forth between recognizing/understanding who my husband is, many times during the same visit. It's tough.

While my mother does not have dementia per se, her change in living situation and lack of mobility have had a terrible affect on her demeanor and personality. She's unreasonable, argumentative and often just downright nasty. It's to the point where she has difficulty accepting the idea that I am my own person, not her puppet to control at her whims, and I am still entitled to live my life for me, not merely as her whipping post or avatar. It's just soul crushing and I'm worried I will only be left with these thoughts instead of the lifetime of memories of my mom when she's gone.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

I am overwhelmed by the prayers, kind words, and support...you have no idea how much it means. May you all have very happy holidays whatever you celebrate. This really boosted my spirits.

 

[macraven]

All of us, care about you.
We are here anytime you need a friend.

Have sweet dreams tonight.

 

[macraven]

1 will stick around until it gets to be late