First birthday without Mom and feeling very sad....

[dumboiu]

My birthday is in a few days and it will be the first one without my Mum. She passed away last summer and it has been very hard for me. I am just feeling sad, and wanted to share/vent/whatever. If anyone has any kind words on how they got through a similar time, I would love to hear.

I know the anticipation is worse than the actual event, but I do miss her so very much. I made it through the holidays, but it was rough. I guess all these *firsts* are hard. I miss her so much.

Thanks for listening.......

 

[bubie2.5]

I know how you feel, my birthday will be in a few days also (the second one withouth my mother) and just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I'm told I'll get used to it, and that I'll always think about her, but the pain will be less. I just know she would HATE for me to be sad.

Hang in there.

 

[Master Mason]

The first everything without them is hard. Birthdays, holidays, special event... But before you know it it is the second, and then the third....

I'm sure your mom would want you to be happy and not sad. Life goes on. Focus on making new memories.

My dad died on my little brothers birthday, the first couple of years were really hard on him, but he has come to peace with it now.

 

[Tuffcookie]

I lost my DM 2 years ago. I still have her last birthday card to me. She wrote "I truly do love you, Mom". I so cherish that card now.

TC

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I'm fortunate enough to still have my mom, although she has skin cancer, emphasyma and suffers some remnants of a stroke.

The first of each holiday are the hardest (when I lost my grandma and MIL too), just do what you want to for the day, go out, stay in, cry, sleep or rejoice in the memories.... She wants you to be happy

 

[glitterkittyy]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

How I got through it when my dad passed was to take the emphasis off of his not being there. I didn't give myself time to dwell. I planned the holiday/birthday/etc out to the point where I had no time to do anything but have fun. I knew that is what he would want me to do. So I celebrated.

Each year is a little easier, but I still miss my dad. Just know that it hurts a bit less as time goes by.

 

[rabx5]

It will hard, but know that it will get better as the years pass. Honest is does.


My dad died 10 days before my 30th birthday. That birthday was just awful because I didn't get a sappy off tune song sung to me by him as he did every year (we lived 500 miles apart).
Now I smile whenever I think of my dad. The good memories outweigh the sadness of his loss.

You hang in there and know your mum is with you on your birthday


I will be in WDW in a few days so let me say early

 

[Buckalew11]

I am so sorry for your loss and hurt.

After DH's dad died he remained so strong until...his b-day! 4 months after the death and my DH has this horrible breakdown. Neither one of us were ready for it.
I had a friend who, after she lost her dad, prepared her heart for all those first days. Little did she know that the first snowfall of winter would strike her hard because they'd always call each other when it snowed!

What my MIL did after her dad died (on his b-day, not hers) was she'd take the money that she'd have spent on his gift and she'd pass on to someone who needed help--either with the money or a specific need. I think that really helped her through the day. The focus went away from her and her loss to someone else and their need.

 

[nana2tots]

I completely know what you are going through, and i cry w/ you. Try to think of a good time you had w/ your Mum, and i hope and Pray that you can have a Nice Birthday, instead of a sad one!!!
My DD would have celebrated her 40th, birthday later on this year, and i was so planning on a Big Bash for her, but that was taken away, so I grieve like you, and hope things get better, but it dosen't. Take care !!!

 

[nana2tots]

I stiil have my last card that my DD gave me, it was Mother's Day 2007, it says I'm so Glad I'm Your Daughter, makes me sad to stare at it each and everyday !!

 

[4nana]

I'm sorry sweetie . I know this heart ache, as both my parents had cancer. I lost my dear Dad 6 yrs ago and the first BD's and holidays are a real set back, but praise God my Mom is a BC surviver. The emptiness in your heart never really goes away completely, but it does get better with time. I hope you can have a nice birthday in spite of your pain, you Mum would want that. Know that she is smiling and guiding you from above.


and prayers to all those who have lost and miss their loved ones.

 

[MushyMushy]

It is hard, isn't it? I just went through the same thing myself. My son turned 18 on the 10th and I turned 42 on the 11th and I cried both days and just couldn't find it in me to celebrate. I sure hope it gets easier for both of us.

 

[AustinTink]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away a month before my wedding. It was so hard to get through without him.

 

[dumboiu]

Thank you so much for your kind words. to all of you going through such a difficult time as well.

 

[a1tinkfans]

My birthday is in a few days and it will be the first one without my Mum. She passed away last summer and it has been very hard for me. I am just feeling sad, and wanted to share/vent/whatever. If anyone has any kind words on how they got through a similar time, I would love to hear.

I know the anticipation is worse than the actual event, but I do miss her so very much. I made it through the holidays, but it was rough. I guess all these *firsts* are hard. I miss her so much.

Thanks for listening.......

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom too, way too soon!!
There are no magic words to say, sadly, no special way to rush thru grief
BUT
we are all hear to listen to your pain! Try to draw strength in knowing you are not alone and eventually you will feel a bit better as you will be able to focus on your memories and adventures and highlights of your special mom!!
Think of the happy times and try and focus on that.
For me, birthdays are very very difficult. In my family my mom ALWAYS made a big deal out of birthdays and ALWAYS made it seem so special. Then tragedy struck and I missed the excitement that she brought to sharing the day. Even after I was married and had my own child, she ALWAYS came over, made a big deal of it, celebrated my Bday (and I am one of 5, she did it with all of us) It breaks my heart.........

SO, no I am so sorry to not be able to get you thru this better than you are doing yourself!
Hang in there and please TALK about her if you wish, CRY about it if you wish, LAUGH about funny moments and most of all. SHARE your thoughts with others who understand!

 

[mrsstats]

I am so sorry for your lost. Like everyone says, the 1st are hard. It does seem to get easier but the empty feeling is always there. My birthday is the day before my Mom's. We used to always have 1 cake for the 2 of us. Just focus on the happy times.

 

[LivinInTheCastle]

I don't really have any advice for you I'm afraid. But wanted to say God bless you and I hope that despite the hurt you have a wonderful birthday filled with wonderful memories.

 

[SpecialK]

I'm so sorry. The firsts are very difficult. Both of my parents are gone, but I can still hear my mom saying "life goes on." The last thing either of my parents would want is for me or anyone in my family to be sad for missing them. You'll get through it, and in time you'll be able to think of the happy memories rather than the sadness.

 

[lovingthemouse]

I recognize some of our names from the Christmas thread when we were great supports then too. My darling husband died just 5 months ago, and although I miss him more than words can express, my life is going on. I thank God for our 5 daughters and my wonderful family and friends - their support has meant so much.
In April, 2 of my very close friends are traveling to WDW with me- it was our very favorite place. Our anniversary date is during the week. My friends understand that it will be a tough day, but I'm where we'd be if he were actually here.
God bless all of you who experience sadness, as difficult as the path may be for us, at least we are not walking alone!!!