Finding a new church alone?

[singingpixie]

Hi everyone,
For the past year or so I've been pestering soon-to-be-ex that we should start looking for a church, but we could never agree on details enough to put it into practice. Now that I only have to decide for myself, I know I should get serious with this promise to myself. The problem? I'm really nervous about going to a new church alone! I have only really attended one church my entire life, the one my family are members at in upstate NY, so this is totally new territory for me! Have any of you done this "church shopping" thing on your own? What were your experiences/pointers/thoughts?

 

[Celluloidgal]

I think a lot of churches have tried to keep up-to-date lately, so you might be able to check them out online.

Google the word : churches & your location & your preference of denomination (if you have one)

I know of some that found my church that way. You can view their site, see their core values, maybe even join an online discussion.

I'm glad you are stepping out there! Good luck!

 

[chager]

I would start by talking with friends and coworkers to see where they attend. Just say you are looking for a church home. Usually they will invite you if they really like their church. You can also check out the denomination you are familiar with and ask a friend if they would go with you once just to check it out. Myself if I were interested I would just go and start visiting, but that is me. My best friend won't go by herself. (She lives about 20 mins away from me and said its too far to visit my church or our other friends church. However visiting us at anytime isn't an issue. ) Now is probably a good time too, you could look for the Easter productions (very abundent here, so I am guessing other areas have an abundancy too ) Sometimes if you call a church and let them know you want to see their show and don't have a church home they will provide you the ticket to it. (Ours does) Good luck!

 

[horseshowmom]

By all means, visit more than one church and don't feel uncomfortable going alone. Some churches (at least in our area) are more contemporary than others (which may appeal to you considering your age) and have programs geared for your age group.

Good luck on your new search!

 

[LiteBrite]

While you're checking out the churches, you could find out which ones have home groups (sometimes called cell groups). These can be a great way to get to know people beyond the quick surface conversations you're likely to have on a Sunday morning.

 

[minnieandme]

Ask around and maybe visit a church your friends go to. Look in the phone book or online for some local churches with your demonination. With Easter coming up, some churches may even mail out information about their service. Good luck.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I prefer searching online first. I like to see the beliefs of the church before going.

 

[powellrj]

ask around and see if you can find one that has what you are looking for. I know our church doesn't have a very good young adult program. They have a great divorce group, teen group, young families and middle aged people, but for young singles or couples without children there isn't much.

I was attending a church that wasn't open to single women. My DH works every sunday and I would attend with our children. They were never open or inviting.

The church I attend now has a great youth group and is very accepting of the fact that my DH doesn't attend.

Its hit or miss sometimes. I would start asking people what they like about their church and see if they offer what you need.

 

[NotUrsula]

If you were brought up in a traditional mainstream hierarchical denomination (Lutheran, Episcopal, RC, or Orthodox), your address will have an assigned congregation. Just call the local governing body and tell them your address, and they will tell you which church is "yours".

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My MIL went to different churches until she found her place. It took a few years.
I guess just do some homework and go and see if you feel type of connection.

 

[KristaTX]

The web search is a great idea. Also, if you have any work/school friends who go to church, ask them about their church. They'd probably be happy to tell you about it.

There is another thread right now about inviting people to church http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1391452 . Yours is a good example of why it is not necessarily a bad thing for people to tell their friends about their church, and maybe even invite them. I might be wrong, but it sounds like you might like it if you had a good friend who already knew of a place and would ask if you wanted to check it out with her/him.

 

[goofygirl]

Over a year ago, I took a chance and walked into a church alone where I knew nobody. I sat in the back.

A year later, I am involved in many aspects of the church and have made some new, wonderful friends. It adds so much to my life. Taking that chance was well worth it.

Just be brave, walk through the door and sit in the back. If it "feels right", you'll know it.

 

[clh2]

Just do it!!!

Give the churches a chance. We joined a church last year, after "wandering aimlessly for a few years." This church just seemed right for our family. We joined several activities even before we were officially members. Our church really encourages that. Stick around for coffee afterwards. Our particular Lutheran church has 3 different services at 4 different times on a weekend. 2 services are "traditional", 1 is contemporary, and the Saturday night service is very contemplative service.

In the summer, the contemporary service moves to Thursday evening outdoor in the courtyard, the traditional ones stay the same on Sunday morning, and the contemplative one moves to Sunday evening.

We love the Thursday evening services.

So - if 1 service doesn't feel right, another one at the same church might just give you the "warm fuzzies."

 

[disykat]

If you were brought up in a traditional mainstream hierarchical denomination (Lutheran, Episcopal, RC, or Orthodox), your address will have an assigned congregation. Just call the local governing body and tell them your address, and they will tell you which church is "yours".

Seriously? Where do you live? I can't even imagine.

I've "church shopped" by myself. I just looked in the yellow pages, picked one and showed up at an advertised service. It's harder going alone, but I think you get an instant picture of how welcoming they are. Because you are alone, I think people are more likely to approach you.

 

[ElizK]

I did. My DH wasn't interested in church when I became a Christian (we had been married for 8yrs at the time), so I visited churches by myself for awhile until I found one that I really liked. I am not even a little bit outgoing, so it was a fairly difficult process for me, but I ended up at a church that I loved.

Ask your friends, neighbors, coworkers for recommendations. When it was time for us to find a new church (we moved, and then DH became a Christian!), we visited quite a few, but then stayed at the one where we already knew some people from DD's school.