Fibromyalgia Thread

[SeaSpray]

Hey everyone, sorry that I have been MIA.

I see that all of you have been going through some rough patches. HUGS to everyone

carrie: I'm sorry to hear about the infection and the tissue expander. I hope the infection clears up quickly, and I hope that your countdown to your trip goes quickly as well. But I hope the trip itself seems to last a good, long time.

tigg: I've never used a pedometer, but I have the same experience regarding calories in VS my weight. I've always chalked it up to having a bad metabolism. I don't know. All I know is that I don't eat enough to look like this. I always feel as if people think that if I exercised more and ate less, I'd be in no pain and not be overweight. Yeah, how I wish it were so simple. Thanks for that link, I'm going to check it out soon.

rosanab: I'm sorry for your frustrations. I know what you mean about doctors thinking that if we are managing to get through daily life, then we must be ok. They don't know, and sometimes I feel like they don't want to hear, that most days we are barely making it through, and hanging on by a thread.

mommasita: My DH has low B12 and has had injections, now he takes a supplement. I should try taking it too. I have to research to see how much is safe to take. Sorry about the drama with your mom. Congrats to your DS's graduation!!



As for me, I'm off the prednisone now, still taking the plaquenil, and all of my aches and pains are back. I guess the plaquenil is not as good as the prednisone, or just hasn't kicked in yet. My DS22 graduated from university 2 weeks ago, and that was nice. In the preceding couple of weeks I was quite weepy, and in retrospect I think it's because I was having a hard time with the fact that my baby was graduating college, and wondering where all the years have gone.

DH has had pain in his groin area and wouldn't go to the doctor until yesterday when he couldn't stand the pain anymore. It turns out that he has a hernia and will need to see a surgeon to get it repaired.

In the meantime, his only brother is dying in the hospital. He's only 47 and has cirrhosis of the liver. We saw him a few days ago, and then again today, and he physically looks so much worse. I really hope he pulls through. And if he does, he will have a very tough road ahead of him.

At work, I was given a "verbal warning" about the sick days that I've taken the last couple of months. I don't want to lose this job. Now that we've finished putting DS through college, we want to start adding to our retirement accounts, as well as the vacation we have planned for fall 2014. So now, as long as I don't take a sick day for the next 30 days, the verbal warning goes away. 30 days isn't a lot, but with all of my stupid ailments, it's easier said than done. But it's a challenge to me, and I'm going to try very hard to make it in to work every day. At least I have off this Monday for Memorial Day.

Basically I've been trying to distract myself with planning our vacation for next year, and I'm sorry that I didn't make the effort to stop in here. I do think of all of you every day though.

 

[mommasita]

Oh Seaspray You are going through a lot.. Giant hugs to you..
Congrats on your DS.
Your poor DH.. Mine had this a while back and the surgery was very successful.
Wishing you the best for those 30 days. Being home for 4 years plus now, I try and think and it scares me..
I was just worried about you.. Lots of good thoughts for you BIL

gentle and warm hugs and thoughts all around.. I can't find my smilies tonight, but they are there.

 

[rosanab1031]

Hey everyone, sorry that I have been MIA.

I see that all of you have been going through some rough patches. HUGS to everyone

carrie: I'm sorry to hear about the infection and the tissue expander. I hope the infection clears up quickly, and I hope that your countdown to your trip goes quickly as well. But I hope the trip itself seems to last a good, long time.

tigg: I've never used a pedometer, but I have the same experience regarding calories in VS my weight. I've always chalked it up to having a bad metabolism. I don't know. All I know is that I don't eat enough to look like this. I always feel as if people think that if I exercised more and ate less, I'd be in no pain and not be overweight. Yeah, how I wish it were so simple. Thanks for that link, I'm going to check it out soon.

rosanab: I'm sorry for your frustrations. I know what you mean about doctors thinking that if we are managing to get through daily life, then we must be ok. They don't know, and sometimes I feel like they don't want to hear, that most days we are barely making it through, and hanging on by a thread.

mommasita: My DH has low B12 and has had injections, now he takes a supplement. I should try taking it too. I have to research to see how much is safe to take. Sorry about the drama with your mom. Congrats to your DS's graduation!!

As for me, I'm off the prednisone now, still taking the plaquenil, and all of my aches and pains are back. I guess the plaquenil is not as good as the prednisone, or just hasn't kicked in yet. My DS22 graduated from university 2 weeks ago, and that was nice. In the preceding couple of weeks I was quite weepy, and in retrospect I think it's because I was having a hard time with the fact that my baby was graduating college, and wondering where all the years have gone.

DH has had pain in his groin area and wouldn't go to the doctor until yesterday when he couldn't stand the pain anymore. It turns out that he has a hernia and will need to see a surgeon to get it repaired.

In the meantime, his only brother is dying in the hospital. He's only 47 and has cirrhosis of the liver. We saw him a few days ago, and then again today, and he physically looks so much worse. I really hope he pulls through. And if he does, he will have a very tough road ahead of him.

At work, I was given a "verbal warning" about the sick days that I've taken the last couple of months. I don't want to lose this job. Now that we've finished putting DS through college, we want to start adding to our retirement accounts, as well as the vacation we have planned for fall 2014. So now, as long as I don't take a sick day for the next 30 days, the verbal warning goes away. 30 days isn't a lot, but with all of my stupid ailments, it's easier said than done. But it's a challenge to me, and I'm going to try very hard to make it in to work every day. At least I have off this Monday for Memorial Day.

Basically I've been trying to distract myself with planning our vacation for next year, and I'm sorry that I didn't make the effort to stop in here. I do think of all of you every day though.

Hi Seaspray! Sorry about everything you have been going through. I am actually surprised I have never gotten written up for as much time as I take off. I am a speech therapist for a school. I always make up the time I miss but I know some parents have gotten upset in the past because of my absences. On top of my fibromyalgia I also have vertigo which can sometimes make it impossible for me to drive. Anyway, I hope that the planning is enough to distract you. I know it has kept a lot of my stress at bay recently. And now I am only eight days away from My first Disney World trip! YAY! Wishing you and your family all the best!

 

[mommasita]

Hi all!

I think I am having a breakdown, some kind, some sort. I don't know.

My mother is still in the hospital. After leaving my front steps on Mother's Day because she couldn't make the stairs. She had a hip put in 5 years ago, and is majorly addicted to pain killers.. She is suicidal as well. For the first 3 days there she cried out that her stomach was the problem.. And ultrasound, an MRI at another hospital because she needed an open one, and there is no issue. I hate to sound mean, but she is at nearly 400 pounds, her husband (not my father) refuses to admit there is a food issue, pain killer issue.

He yelled at me on the phone saying he loves her, and there is nothing he won't due for her. I tried to say loving is not always saying YES. I love my children, and out of love must say no to certain things. He told me "it isn't my fault nobody at your house gives a ---- about you".. I was in tears. Says he will go over my head, as he is her husband, he goes over my head. They have her on a diet, he runs out for donuts every day. He just goes against anything, he won't say no to her EVER.

I have only been 4 times, and the hospital is 5 minutes away. I feel guilty, but I go there and she is higher than a kite. I suspect he supplements her morphine from home. If I say something, he will deny, and if they kick him out, I just physically can't nor can I mentally. She is refusing a rehab center. she has 12 bedsores now, she is in a diaper..

I am waiting on news for my torn rotator cuffs. My brain surgery I had done 3 years ago has come back full circle. I am on disability. I am exhausted.. My son is graduating HS in a few weeks.. I had a huge fight with my husband. I feel so alone in this. He hasn't come once. He says she isn't sick. I say that we don't always go for the patient, you go for me.. My sister has been MIA for about 7 years, so I have no siblings to speak to..My teens know, but I don't harp on it, they don't want to go. My daughter called her at 6pm, and my mother asked her what she was doing up so early. My daughter says "she is stoned, and I don't want to ever call her back".. Is that my fault that she knows? I don't know what to do..

Just an example. Yesterday she begged me for spaghetti, says she loves my sauce. So I made enough for the 2 of them, called and asked her husband to meet me in front to pick it up because I had to go pick up my daughter. I call and ask 4 hours later how it was. He asks if I was trying to kill her with my "spicy sauce".. I cried myself to sleep. I didn't want a thank you, I didn't change my sauce. I know hospital food sucks, and remember myself wanting things.. So the food is in the garbage she says.. Thanks but no thanks.. I said you know it isn't easy with my arm with big pots and that. Indifference on her, no reaction.. I realize it is the pills talking, but I am human, I am her daughter, and I don't know. I can't fly the coop like my sister, I just couldn't do it.

I saw my Psch dr today, and she said I have to take charge somewhere, that I am going down.. I try to eat, and I am hungry, but then I just can't.. Between running a house with 1 arm, Dr's appts, two teens, and my son's graduation in a few weeks, I just find I don't make time to go see her. I just don't want to, I come back ..And then the guilts sets in.. My husband did apologize tonight, and told me to start eating, but it isn't easy as that. I have morphine for my shoulder, and I almost never take it. I am afraid to become like my mother. Maybe my food issues too..

Gosh if this wasn't the longest rant ever. Sorry. It felt good just getting it out.. My best friend is on vacation in Cuba this week, and normally I would just babble on to her.. I know this is probably hard to read, sorry once again..

 

[rosanab1031]

Hi all!

I think I am having a breakdown, some kind, some sort. I don't know.

My mother is still in the hospital. After leaving my front steps on Mother's Day because she couldn't make the stairs. She had a hip put in 5 years ago, and is majorly addicted to pain killers.. She is suicidal as well. For the first 3 days there she cried out that her stomach was the problem.. And ultrasound, an MRI at another hospital because she needed an open one, and there is no issue. I hate to sound mean, but she is at nearly 400 pounds, her husband (not my father) refuses to admit there is a food issue, pain killer issue.

He yelled at me on the phone saying he loves her, and there is nothing he won't due for her. I tried to say loving is not always saying YES. I love my children, and out of love must say no to certain things. He told me "it isn't my fault nobody at your house gives a ---- about you".. I was in tears. Says he will go over my head, as he is her husband, he goes over my head. They have her on a diet, he runs out for donuts every day. He just goes against anything, he won't say no to her EVER.

I have only been 4 times, and the hospital is 5 minutes away. I feel guilty, but I go there and she is higher than a kite. I suspect he supplements her morphine from home. If I say something, he will deny, and if they kick him out, I just physically can't nor can I mentally. She is refusing a rehab center. she has 12 bedsores now, she is in a diaper..

I am waiting on news for my torn rotator cuffs. My brain surgery I had done 3 years ago has come back full circle. I am on disability. I am exhausted.. My son is graduating HS in a few weeks.. I had a huge fight with my husband. I feel so alone in this. He hasn't come once. He says she isn't sick. I say that we don't always go for the patient, you go for me.. My sister has been MIA for about 7 years, so I have no siblings to speak to..My teens know, but I don't harp on it, they don't want to go. My daughter called her at 6pm, and my mother asked her what she was doing up so early. My daughter says "she is stoned, and I don't want to ever call her back".. Is that my fault that she knows? I don't know what to do..

Just an example. Yesterday she begged me for spaghetti, says she loves my sauce. So I made enough for the 2 of them, called and asked her husband to meet me in front to pick it up because I had to go pick up my daughter. I call and ask 4 hours later how it was. He asks if I was trying to kill her with my "spicy sauce".. I cried myself to sleep. I didn't want a thank you, I didn't change my sauce. I know hospital food sucks, and remember myself wanting things.. So the food is in the garbage she says.. Thanks but no thanks.. I said you know it isn't easy with my arm with big pots and that. Indifference on her, no reaction.. I realize it is the pills talking, but I am human, I am her daughter, and I don't know. I can't fly the coop like my sister, I just couldn't do it.

I saw my Psch dr today, and she said I have to take charge somewhere, that I am going down.. I try to eat, and I am hungry, but then I just can't.. Between running a house with 1 arm, Dr's appts, two teens, and my son's graduation in a few weeks, I just find I don't make time to go see her. I just don't want to, I come back ..And then the guilts sets in.. My husband did apologize tonight, and told me to start eating, but it isn't easy as that. I have morphine for my shoulder, and I almost never take it. I am afraid to become like my mother. Maybe my food issues too..

Gosh if this wasn't the longest rant ever. Sorry. It felt good just getting it out.. My best friend is on vacation in Cuba this week, and normally I would just babble on to her.. I know this is probably hard to read, sorry once again..

No need to apologize momma! That's what we're here for! So sorry for what you're going through. We all have some sort of family issues I'm sure. At least I know I do! I hope things get better for you soon

 

[tiggspring]

Hi all!

I think I am having a breakdown, some kind, some sort. I don't know.

My mother is still in the hospital. After leaving my front steps on Mother's Day because she couldn't make the stairs. She had a hip put in 5 years ago, and is majorly addicted to pain killers.. She is suicidal as well. For the first 3 days there she cried out that her stomach was the problem.. And ultrasound, an MRI at another hospital because she needed an open one, and there is no issue. I hate to sound mean, but she is at nearly 400 pounds, her husband (not my father) refuses to admit there is a food issue, pain killer issue.

He yelled at me on the phone saying he loves her, and there is nothing he won't due for her. I tried to say loving is not always saying YES. I love my children, and out of love must say no to certain things. He told me "it isn't my fault nobody at your house gives a ---- about you".. I was in tears. Says he will go over my head, as he is her husband, he goes over my head. They have her on a diet, he runs out for donuts every day. He just goes against anything, he won't say no to her EVER.

I have only been 4 times, and the hospital is 5 minutes away. I feel guilty, but I go there and she is higher than a kite. I suspect he supplements her morphine from home. If I say something, he will deny, and if they kick him out, I just physically can't nor can I mentally. She is refusing a rehab center. she has 12 bedsores now, she is in a diaper..

I am waiting on news for my torn rotator cuffs. My brain surgery I had done 3 years ago has come back full circle. I am on disability. I am exhausted.. My son is graduating HS in a few weeks.. I had a huge fight with my husband. I feel so alone in this. He hasn't come once. He says she isn't sick. I say that we don't always go for the patient, you go for me.. My sister has been MIA for about 7 years, so I have no siblings to speak to..My teens know, but I don't harp on it, they don't want to go. My daughter called her at 6pm, and my mother asked her what she was doing up so early. My daughter says "she is stoned, and I don't want to ever call her back".. Is that my fault that she knows? I don't know what to do..

Just an example. Yesterday she begged me for spaghetti, says she loves my sauce. So I made enough for the 2 of them, called and asked her husband to meet me in front to pick it up because I had to go pick up my daughter. I call and ask 4 hours later how it was. He asks if I was trying to kill her with my "spicy sauce".. I cried myself to sleep. I didn't want a thank you, I didn't change my sauce. I know hospital food sucks, and remember myself wanting things.. So the food is in the garbage she says.. Thanks but no thanks.. I said you know it isn't easy with my arm with big pots and that. Indifference on her, no reaction.. I realize it is the pills talking, but I am human, I am her daughter, and I don't know. I can't fly the coop like my sister, I just couldn't do it.

I saw my Psch dr today, and she said I have to take charge somewhere, that I am going down.. I try to eat, and I am hungry, but then I just can't.. Between running a house with 1 arm, Dr's appts, two teens, and my son's graduation in a few weeks, I just find I don't make time to go see her. I just don't want to, I come back ..And then the guilts sets in.. My husband did apologize tonight, and told me to start eating, but it isn't easy as that. I have morphine for my shoulder, and I almost never take it. I am afraid to become like my mother. Maybe my food issues too..

Gosh if this wasn't the longest rant ever. Sorry. It felt good just getting it out.. My best friend is on vacation in Cuba this week, and normally I would just babble on to her.. I know this is probably hard to read, sorry once again..

Momma,



Sorry it took so long to get back to you. Wrote this long insiteful note on my phone then my DD8 screamed and boom message gone

Any hoo, It really stinks that you have all this drama going on when you have plenty to deal with just with your health. You are the sane one here just surrounded by craziness. As you know I have addiction in my family too, I also have a sister in an abusive marriage and family that use prayer as an excuse to do nothing but know where I am when they need something. I know what it is to do everything right and get no recognition or worse critisim I'm not religious but if ever there was a time for the serenity prayer your are there. You are a good person. You did the right thing for your mom and you should feel good for your about that! You cheer us on here and we have never even met. Feel good about that!

Maybe if you reframe you situation in your mind it will help you remember what a good person you are. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Hopefully what I'm about to say wont sound preachy just some thoughts to reframe the difficulties you are going through.

My friend who is healthy struggles with a mother several hrs away. For 10 yrs she flew back and fourth a week or two at a time about six times a year then back home to her business. Her mother does not give her credit for this. Doesn't think its a big deal because she isn't married (live in 20yr relationship) but makes excuses for her other DD who lives across town and has a hubby and two dogs. She cant help because of the dogs My friend is a good person too and often comments on how I no longer let family effect me much at all. It comes down to a book I once read called Toxic Parents and working with battered women for several years. I learned their was NOTHING I can do unless they want to change. Talk about feeling helpless watching someone allowing themselves to be beaten and there is nothing you can do. It was easier to see from the outside then apply to my own life.

You and I have so little energy, so little time to spend on the good stuff. I choose not waste my precious gifts on people who cant appreciate it. I found that if I do what I feel a good person would do without expecting anything positive back then I'm rarely disappointed or guilty. I found that when I gave too much to my birth family that my kids and DH suffered. I will not let my mother etc hurt my kids so it is easier for me to back off now. When I am really struggling with my family I will ask myself if I were on my death bed what would I regret more, not helping someone who doesn't want to be helped or wasting my precious energy that I could give to my kids or god forbid enjoy for myself I bet you would not give your mom a load of money to spend on narcotics so why give her your energy money to burn?

You are not having a breakdown you are overloaded. How much can a person take? REALY ITS ALOT! You are not hiding in bed and whining you are trying hard to push through. I think you need to take a moment and catch your breath. Take a big deep breath and be still for a moment. If you can, go someplace that makes you happy. A park, your front porch etc and think what will make YOU happy. Right now you feel guilty about everything even what your Drs want. Right now you are drowning between all the SHOULDS. They tell you on a plane that if you are about to crash first put on the oxygen mask then help your child..why? Because you cannot save your child if you die first. Right now you are crashing you seriously need that oxygen mask Go ahead and cut yourself some slack.

You cannot change your family (lord knows I cant change mine), you cant change your health (at least right now) so what can you change that will make you happy? If that means avoiding your mother for awhile then do it (that doesn't mean you flew the coop). If that means missing some non urgent Dr. appointment's do it! Your first priority is your family ie your kids and your DH and YOURSELF. If something is bad for your family its good that your limit it. If your Step Dad or Mom was hitting you what would you do? They are emotionally hitting you. You are not a bad person for protecting your self from them.

You have this incredible day coming up with your son. Both of you deserve to enjoy all your hard work. You did that right! You raised your child and he is launching into his adult life bask in that happy moment and let it drown everything else out. Don't punish yourself by not eating and allowing the pain to get too bad. You are not your mother. Eat, Drink and be merry! Life is too short not to.

This is easier said then done of course but maybe it helped just a little

Sending pain free vibes and pixie dust to all!

 

[tiggspring]

Sorry Tigg! Hope you find someone just as good that you can afford. Totally understand the money thing though. I can't afford to go get all the treatments I need on a regular basis But we make do with what we got right?

Sending lots of pixie dust for your upcoming trip!

 

[tiggspring]

Hey everyone, sorry that I have been MIA.

I see that all of you have been going through some rough patches. HUGS to everyone

carrie: I'm sorry to hear about the infection and the tissue expander. I hope the infection clears up quickly, and I hope that your countdown to your trip goes quickly as well. But I hope the trip itself seems to last a good, long time.

tigg: I've never used a pedometer, but I have the same experience regarding calories in VS my weight. I've always chalked it up to having a bad metabolism. I don't know. All I know is that I don't eat enough to look like this. I always feel as if people think that if I exercised more and ate less, I'd be in no pain and not be overweight. Yeah, how I wish it were so simple. Thanks for that link, I'm going to check it out soon.

rosanab: I'm sorry for your frustrations. I know what you mean about doctors thinking that if we are managing to get through daily life, then we must be ok. They don't know, and sometimes I feel like they don't want to hear, that most days we are barely making it through, and hanging on by a thread.

mommasita: My DH has low B12 and has had injections, now he takes a supplement. I should try taking it too. I have to research to see how much is safe to take. Sorry about the drama with your mom. Congrats to your DS's graduation!!



As for me, I'm off the prednisone now, still taking the plaquenil, and all of my aches and pains are back. I guess the plaquenil is not as good as the prednisone, or just hasn't kicked in yet. My DS22 graduated from university 2 weeks ago, and that was nice. In the preceding couple of weeks I was quite weepy, and in retrospect I think it's because I was having a hard time with the fact that my baby was graduating college, and wondering where all the years have gone.

DH has had pain in his groin area and wouldn't go to the doctor until yesterday when he couldn't stand the pain anymore. It turns out that he has a hernia and will need to see a surgeon to get it repaired.

In the meantime, his only brother is dying in the hospital. He's only 47 and has cirrhosis of the liver. We saw him a few days ago, and then again today, and he physically looks so much worse. I really hope he pulls through. And if he does, he will have a very tough road ahead of him.

At work, I was given a "verbal warning" about the sick days that I've taken the last couple of months. I don't want to lose this job. Now that we've finished putting DS through college, we want to start adding to our retirement accounts, as well as the vacation we have planned for fall 2014. So now, as long as I don't take a sick day for the next 30 days, the verbal warning goes away. 30 days isn't a lot, but with all of my stupid ailments, it's easier said than done. But it's a challenge to me, and I'm going to try very hard to make it in to work every day. At least I have off this Monday for Memorial Day.

Basically I've been trying to distract myself with planning our vacation for next year, and I'm sorry that I didn't make the effort to stop in here. I do think of all of you every day though.

Sending healing thoughts to you and your family.. Its been such a tough yr for you all Gotta love employers who think you choose to be out for these things so you should be punished. Maybe the good weather will put some air in your sails

 

[mommasita]

Thanks to you both...

I got some much needed sleep. I went to visit tonight with my DD, and stayed about 30 minutes, then it was time for a diaper change. She tells me she refused pysio, said she was in too much pain, and asked for more pain killers, and that they are threatening her with a home. Of course I said, you are not SICK.. You need pysio.. I am not going back for a while..

Today was a nice sunny day, and I sat out on "my" chair..LOL, and relaxed. I love the warmth and sun. It makes me feel better... My husband is trying and apologizing, but some things he said can't be that easily forgotten.. I will try as always..

I see my Dr Wednesday to see what we do with my shoulder. SO painful I tell you...

Thank you for the nice words on my son. It is hard because he hasn't been accepted to any colleges yet. He has a lot of issues with motor skills and is delayed. Hoping for the second round.. Otherwise he will take some courses at night (adult ed) and re-apply in January. My heart aches for him too because he tries so hard, and seeing all your friends with their plans can't be easy on him... This kid has been through a lot since birth.. It will all work out, I just have to believe.. We will celebrate his graduation, and I try to talk him up as much I can.

I hope everyone is doing ok, and thank you again for the advice and the comfort in knowing what great people you all are..

 

[rosanab1031]

Thanks to you both...

I got some much needed sleep. I went to visit tonight with my DD, and stayed about 30 minutes, then it was time for a diaper change. She tells me she refused pysio, said she was in too much pain, and asked for more pain killers, and that they are threatening her with a home. Of course I said, you are not SICK.. You need pysio.. I am not going back for a while..

Today was a nice sunny day, and I sat out on "my" chair..LOL, and relaxed. I love the warmth and sun. It makes me feel better... My husband is trying and apologizing, but some things he said can't be that easily forgotten.. I will try as always..

I see my Dr Wednesday to see what we do with my shoulder. SO painful I tell you...

Thank you for the nice words on my son. It is hard because he hasn't been accepted to any colleges yet. He has a lot of issues with motor skills and is delayed. Hoping for the second round.. Otherwise he will take some courses at night (adult ed) and re-apply in January. My heart aches for him too because he tries so hard, and seeing all your friends with their plans can't be easy on him... This kid has been through a lot since birth.. It will all work out, I just have to believe.. We will celebrate his graduation, and I try to talk him up as much I can.

I hope everyone is doing ok, and thank you again for the advice and the comfort in knowing what great people you all are..

I don't know how I missed everything about your son Does he have an IEP? Sometimes that can make a WORLD of difference if the admissions office is made aware that he is a student with disabilities. My BF is at a community college right now and gets a lot of help with his school bc he is diagnosed with ADHD including priority registration HTH and that he gets some good news soon

 

[tiggspring]

Thanks to you both...

I got some much needed sleep. I went to visit tonight with my DD, and stayed about 30 minutes, then it was time for a diaper change. She tells me she refused pysio, said she was in too much pain, and asked for more pain killers, and that they are threatening her with a home. Of course I said, you are not SICK.. You need pysio.. I am not going back for a while..

Today was a nice sunny day, and I sat out on "my" chair..LOL, and relaxed. I love the warmth and sun. It makes me feel better... My husband is trying and apologizing, but some things he said can't be that easily forgotten.. I will try as always..

I see my Dr Wednesday to see what we do with my shoulder. SO painful I tell you...

Thank you for the nice words on my son. It is hard because he hasn't been accepted to any colleges yet. He has a lot of issues with motor skills and is delayed. Hoping for the second round.. Otherwise he will take some courses at night (adult ed) and re-apply in January. My heart aches for him too because he tries so hard, and seeing all your friends with their plans can't be easy on him... This kid has been through a lot since birth.. It will all work out, I just have to believe.. We will celebrate his graduation, and I try to talk him up as much I can.

I hope everyone is doing ok, and thank you again for the advice and the comfort in knowing what great people you all are..

So Glad you had a better day.! You and your son have made it this far don't worry too much. My experience is that kids that have had difficulty but have had support and made it to graduation can do better than their peers in many ways. They know how to handle adversity, work around a problem and ask for help. He may not take the path of his peers but I bet he will be happier no matter where he lands.
Night

 

[SeaSpray]

Hi all!

I think I am having a breakdown, some kind, some sort. I don't know.

My mother is still in the hospital. After leaving my front steps on Mother's Day because she couldn't make the stairs. She had a hip put in 5 years ago, and is majorly addicted to pain killers.. She is suicidal as well. For the first 3 days there she cried out that her stomach was the problem.. And ultrasound, an MRI at another hospital because she needed an open one, and there is no issue. I hate to sound mean, but she is at nearly 400 pounds, her husband (not my father) refuses to admit there is a food issue, pain killer issue.

He yelled at me on the phone saying he loves her, and there is nothing he won't due for her. I tried to say loving is not always saying YES. I love my children, and out of love must say no to certain things. He told me "it isn't my fault nobody at your house gives a ---- about you".. I was in tears. Says he will go over my head, as he is her husband, he goes over my head. They have her on a diet, he runs out for donuts every day. He just goes against anything, he won't say no to her EVER.

I have only been 4 times, and the hospital is 5 minutes away. I feel guilty, but I go there and she is higher than a kite. I suspect he supplements her morphine from home. If I say something, he will deny, and if they kick him out, I just physically can't nor can I mentally. She is refusing a rehab center. she has 12 bedsores now, she is in a diaper..

I am waiting on news for my torn rotator cuffs. My brain surgery I had done 3 years ago has come back full circle. I am on disability. I am exhausted.. My son is graduating HS in a few weeks.. I had a huge fight with my husband. I feel so alone in this. He hasn't come once. He says she isn't sick. I say that we don't always go for the patient, you go for me.. My sister has been MIA for about 7 years, so I have no siblings to speak to..My teens know, but I don't harp on it, they don't want to go. My daughter called her at 6pm, and my mother asked her what she was doing up so early. My daughter says "she is stoned, and I don't want to ever call her back".. Is that my fault that she knows? I don't know what to do..

Just an example. Yesterday she begged me for spaghetti, says she loves my sauce. So I made enough for the 2 of them, called and asked her husband to meet me in front to pick it up because I had to go pick up my daughter. I call and ask 4 hours later how it was. He asks if I was trying to kill her with my "spicy sauce".. I cried myself to sleep. I didn't want a thank you, I didn't change my sauce. I know hospital food sucks, and remember myself wanting things.. So the food is in the garbage she says.. Thanks but no thanks.. I said you know it isn't easy with my arm with big pots and that. Indifference on her, no reaction.. I realize it is the pills talking, but I am human, I am her daughter, and I don't know. I can't fly the coop like my sister, I just couldn't do it.

I saw my Psch dr today, and she said I have to take charge somewhere, that I am going down.. I try to eat, and I am hungry, but then I just can't.. Between running a house with 1 arm, Dr's appts, two teens, and my son's graduation in a few weeks, I just find I don't make time to go see her. I just don't want to, I come back ..And then the guilts sets in.. My husband did apologize tonight, and told me to start eating, but it isn't easy as that. I have morphine for my shoulder, and I almost never take it. I am afraid to become like my mother. Maybe my food issues too..

Gosh if this wasn't the longest rant ever. Sorry. It felt good just getting it out.. My best friend is on vacation in Cuba this week, and normally I would just babble on to her.. I know this is probably hard to read, sorry once again..

Thanks to you both...

I got some much needed sleep. I went to visit tonight with my DD, and stayed about 30 minutes, then it was time for a diaper change. She tells me she refused pysio, said she was in too much pain, and asked for more pain killers, and that they are threatening her with a home. Of course I said, you are not SICK.. You need pysio.. I am not going back for a while..

Today was a nice sunny day, and I sat out on "my" chair..LOL, and relaxed. I love the warmth and sun. It makes me feel better... My husband is trying and apologizing, but some things he said can't be that easily forgotten.. I will try as always..

I see my Dr Wednesday to see what we do with my shoulder. SO painful I tell you...

Thank you for the nice words on my son. It is hard because he hasn't been accepted to any colleges yet. He has a lot of issues with motor skills and is delayed. Hoping for the second round.. Otherwise he will take some courses at night (adult ed) and re-apply in January. My heart aches for him too because he tries so hard, and seeing all your friends with their plans can't be easy on him... This kid has been through a lot since birth.. It will all work out, I just have to believe.. We will celebrate his graduation, and I try to talk him up as much I can.

I hope everyone is doing ok, and thank you again for the advice and the comfort in knowing what great people you all are..

momma, I am so, so sorry for all that you've been through, and all that you're going through.

I have been thinking about you, and your son graduating. It seems like you have so much going on right now that is bringing you down. My DH is a good guy, but hasn't always "been there" for me every time I've needed him, in the way that I would've wanted.

As for your mom, I am so sorry about that. When we get mis-treated by a stranger that's bad enough, but when we get mis-treated by someone who is supposed to love us, that really hurts. Her husband sounds like an ungrateful louse who is simply enabling your mothers bad behaviour.

I hope that you and your DS can enjoy his graduation day. Is he very upset about not being accepted to college yet? Is there a back up plan that you both can come up with? I think you said something about him taking evening classes; maybe that'll be a good thing for me, as opposed to a full schedule, so he can take things easier. I know that full-time college was a disaster for my older DS, but younger DS just graduated and thrived at university. They're all different, and sometimes we have to change what we thought would be their paths in life.

Ok,I'm sorry I think I'm rambling now. Today I watched my 47 year old brother in law die. He was DS's younger brother. They removed life support and he was dead an hour and a half later. Not a pretty sight at all. He was at DS's graduation party just 3 weeks ago. We had no idea that he'd be dead 3 weeks later, including him. He was really in denial and should've seen a doctor years ago.

Anyway, I think of all of you often. I am so sorry that I don't post as often as I'd like to. My fibromyalgia pain is off the charts these last few weeks.

 

[tiggspring]

momma, I am so, so sorry for all that you've been through, and all that you're going through.

I have been thinking about you, and your son graduating. It seems like you have so much going on right now that is bringing you down. My DH is a good guy, but hasn't always "been there" for me every time I've needed him, in the way that I would've wanted.

As for your mom, I am so sorry about that. When we get mis-treated by a stranger that's bad enough, but when we get mis-treated by someone who is supposed to love us, that really hurts. Her husband sounds like an ungrateful louse who is simply enabling your mothers bad behaviour.

I hope that you and your DS can enjoy his graduation day. Is he very upset about not being accepted to college yet? Is there a back up plan that you both can come up with? I think you said something about him taking evening classes; maybe that'll be a good thing for me, as opposed to a full schedule, so he can take things easier. I know that full-time college was a disaster for my older DS, but younger DS just graduated and thrived at university. They're all different, and sometimes we have to change what we thought would be their paths in life.

Ok,I'm sorry I think I'm rambling now. Today I watched my 47 year old brother in law die. He was DS's younger brother. They removed life support and he was dead an hour and a half later. Not a pretty sight at all. He was at DS's graduation party just 3 weeks ago. We had no idea that he'd be dead 3 weeks later, including him. He was really in denial and should've seen a doctor years ago.

Anyway, I think of all of you often. I am so sorry that I don't post as often as I'd like to. My fibromyalgia pain is off the charts these last few weeks.

Seaspray

I'm so sorry about you dbil. (((HUGS))) He was so young. I know how hard it is when someone you love is on life support you can't stand to see them suffer one more minute yet you don't want to say good bye. Never enough time even if you have been battling for years. You and your family have been through so much recently . If I remember correctly you are planning a trip. I hope it gives you a bit of a respite after all of this.

Thinking of you in PA

 

[mommasita]

Seaspray I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers to you and your family...

everyone. and Thank you

 

[carrie6466]

Seaspray, so sorry for your loss.

 

[deerez]

Wanted to say hi, I was diagnosed with fibro recently, and we are headed to Disney in a few weeks, yeah! Anyway I felt good for a few weeks, now I am getting low grade fevers again and feeling achy, hoping to feel better by the trip

 

[mommasita]

Wanted to say hi, I was diagnosed with fibro recently, and we are headed to Disney in a few weeks, yeah! Anyway I felt good for a few weeks, now I am getting low grade fevers again and feeling achy, hoping to feel better by the trip

... Fibro sucks, had to say it.. Sorry to hear..

I hope you have a great trip, not sure where you are, but maybe the heat will help? For myself, it does immensely.. I really fly with the weather. Sun and warmth just heats up and helps my aches and pains..

Try and not overdo it before you go. Rest up as much you can to enjoy it!! I know that is SO much easier said than done... Also, try and rest during the trip, even if it is in small stretches, and drink a lot of water.

I know you didn't ask for my 2 cents, just thought I would go ahead anyway.. Feel free to join in the convo...

 

[deerez]

Thanks, your right, I actually felt great when we had a few weeks of warm weather here in WI, now cold and rainy again, I dont think im coming home, we are actually go to the beach after Disney, siesta key

 

[katrina1122]

Had my fibro dx in 1999, but I think I was pretty much born with it. I've been fighting pain for as long as I can remember.

Anyway, in the last year the pain and lack of sleep have rendered my immunity system useless. i can't fight anything off...hence I've missed a TON of work. I hate to give in, but am thinking of applying for pension disablity (not ss disablity) so that I can still work some. Probably part time, hopefully with flexible hours. I hate giving in, but don't see another choice. Anyone else go a disablity route? Do you feel any better now?

 

[tiggspring]

Wanted to say hi, I was diagnosed with fibro recently, and we are headed to Disney in a few weeks, yeah! Anyway I felt good for a few weeks, now I am getting low grade fevers again and feeling achy, hoping to feel better by the trip

Deerez,

Welcome!!

You wont find a better bunch of people than then we have here!

Hope you enjoy your trip. I always feel better there then crash after trip. If you don't use a scooter I highly recommend ridmax touring plans. It will really help you figure out your pacing and how to maximize your time. One of our other new members just joined and really liked how it prepared her for their trip. I agree with momma rest as much as possible before the trip I pack as much as a month before for our family of five. I posted a bunch of tips (pg 42) I used for me a my family so that I wouldn't need a scooter. Many here swear by them. For me part of the vacation is trying to be normal for a few days which requires lots of planning beforehand changing up my meds before and during trip. For example we divide the MK into two days and use the train at opening to get to back of park on the day we need to go to splash etc. I'm a slow walker so its faster to be on the first train back than it is to walk. Very pleasant in the am too. Showers both morning and night are a must! Keeps me from locking up.