Fibromyalgia Thread

[tiggspring]

Tigg and Tinker.

Sorry I haven't replied to your posts, I have been just so tired lately. I have been sleeping without sleep meds too. But today just feel a real brain fog.

Yes Tigg, I agree I have to do what is right for me. It is so hard cause I love my Dad although he is a selfish person, but I see where he does try to help me in other areas. BUt this is a dealbreaker.

I called him the other night and asked him to come to counselling with me and bring mystep mom. He said yes. Just asked if I had issues I was working out. I told him I know you dont believe or like counselling but my son and I do and I would like you to come to discuss some things. So just like that he said yes. I warned the counsellor that I am very angry at him but she is helping to wait and see if maybe there has been a change after all these years or is just his denial.

However, I am not going to family gatherings with this person present. I just don't feel I can do it right now. If we don't see the fam at christmas we may just have to go to Disney.

My appointment is Tuesday so I will let you know how it all turns out. Thanks for your support, responses and caring. I truly believe that this will be llife changing and freeing for me finally after all these years.

In a way, no matter what happens, I feel that this is going to be a good thing for me.

Wow bright what great news! Its very encorraging that he is willing to go to sessions with you.even if it doesn't go as you hope at least it will be over. You will give it one last-best try to fix this and if it doesn't work out you know in your heart you have done your part to make things right.

I think as we get into our mid 30's -40's many of us realize we need to be our true selves and that makes it hard to live with lies we tell to ourselves or that others have put upon us. It is life changing and freeing to forgive those who have hurt us even if we still have to errect significant boundries to keep an asemblance of a relationship. I have been mostly free for the past 10yrs my DH is amazed at what I have been able to forgive. But forgiveness is for me. I still have one financial tie to a relative and once that is severed I know I will finally be free. I appriciate my families good qualities and try to focus on those but I will not subject myself to the bad. I am who I am and when peole show you are believe them. When I remember those two things I'm much happier.

Sorry to hear your so tired. It will certainly improve after Tue.All that thinking-worrying must be waring you out!!Best of luck you are in my thoughts.

 

[brighteyes]

Aw Bright - Big Hugs! Family issues are so difficult and sometimes it is so hard for others to understand things. I admire you for realizing your issues and for trying to deal with them to make things better for you. I have no idea what the problems are so I may be completly off base but, one suggestion I have is asking for what you need from your Dad. ie: I need your support and why. Can you do this for me? I have found that this approaech sometimes works where confrontation ie: why can't you support me? why do you deny this? puts people on the defensive and doesn't always end well. Sometimes it's all in how you approach things! Anyhow I will say some prayers for you for peace and resolution. Know that you have freinds here who care.

Feel better!

~Erika

Erika,

sorry I did not mean to "not" acknowledge your post. You are totally right on how to approach this. That is why I am doing this in counselling. So that if I blow up my counsellor can get control of things. She will help me say what I feel in a less acusatory way. I hope. That is why I have not said anything because I have the potential to say what I feel in a very hurtful way. Which could make things worse. Hence, the counselling session.

Ha, to think all this came about because I decided to go to school for social services. I thought I already knew about all my "stuff" and was over it. I guess to help others, first I have to help myself, so I am not a hypocryte.

Gosh, this working on yourself is some tiring work if I don't say so! However, I feel like nothing bad can come from the truth. Even if I don't want to hear it, at least there will be no more hiding.

Thank you.

 

[EDuke98080]

Erika,

sorry I did not mean to "not" acknowledge your post. You are totally right on how to approach this. That is why I am doing this in counselling. So that if I blow up my counsellor can get control of things. She will help me say what I feel in a less acusatory way. I hope. That is why I have not said anything because I have the potential to say what I feel in a very hurtful way. Which could make things worse. Hence, the counselling session.

Ha, to think all this came about because I decided to go to school for social services. I thought I already knew about all my "stuff" and was over it. I guess to help others, first I have to help myself, so I am not a hypocryte.

Gosh, this working on yourself is some tiring work if I don't say so! However, I feel like nothing bad can come from the truth. Even if I don't want to hear it, at least there will be no more hiding.

Thank you.

No worries, no offence taken. It is funny how "stuff" can creep up somtimes and get to us when we leat expect it. Just remember, you are not alone.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

 

[brighteyes]

Tink.

It's horrible that you can't sleep. That's when you have the most time to think about things.

It must be hard and yet bittersweet that your DD is leaving home. I think I would have a hard time too HOw far away is she going??

It has been windy here and thunderstorming which I LOVE!!!!!!!! However, the other day, we had a mini earthquake and a tornado hit not too far from here.

I hope you feel a bit better soon about DD leaving home. My DS says I cry at everything and he is right. His first day at school I cried the whole day. Feel better.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

 

[brighteyes]

Not sure if I felt the earthquake or not. I was walking at the time and kind of stumbled so not sure if that was me or the earthquake. I really thought nothing of it. LOL

I am glad your DD is only 10 mins aways from you.

The not sleeping part, I get that. WITH sleeping meds. I am not sleeping until 5:30 am and woke up at 12 noon. Hopefully tonight I will go to sleep early for my big day tomorrow.

Hopefully your meds will be ok to be refilled. I have had brain fog for the last two days. Hope you have a good night's sleep tonight.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

 

[brighteyes]

Thanks. I am wavering between it will be ok and it will be horrible.

My DS14. told me last night that if I say it even though it will be hard it will be better for me in the long run. He also told me that secrets are like a twinkie that if left too long will not disintegrate but will go sour and start to grow mold and fungus and the fungus will eat away at the twinkie. He is so right but I had to laugh.


I love my DS he is wise beyond his years unfortunately.

WOW I can't believe I am doing this. Deep breath if I can do this I can do anything RIGHT????

 

[melmathis]

Omigosh--took a little tumble Thursday night and yesterday was awful. Felt like I had been hit by a mack truck. Had my regular massage and lived through it--but it was really painful, especially when she worked on my left shoulder (which I unfortunately used to break my fall!) Doing better today--not nearly as sore all over--now if my fat lip will go away!

i also have fibro, herniated discs in c spine and lumbar spine with foramin stenosis. arthritis in back and throughout. have trouble holding small things, drop things a lot, unsteady with dizziness. muscle spasms, base of skull and shoulders kill me. have trouble thinking, and am now forgetting i have things cooking (fortunately someone reminds me lol), cant handle stress very good, am in so much pain when stressed or change of weather.hubby and doc took me off work. am only 41 years old. having trouble with getting representation for disability because my age and the fact i am an rn. so depressed because cant be "normal". fell the other day and sprained ankle, hit arm on step. body hurt so bad for several days, felt like i could hardly bend legs to sit down. anyone else feel depressed about these things. then i see somebody in a wheelchair working and feel like i am less of a person.

 

[EDuke98080]

Hi Mel!

Welcome!

 

[brighteyes]

I did it and it is over. I told my Dad I didn't have a dream and about how his comments and decisions have hurt me. He said the story he heard was that I was not sure what happened. I told him I was very sure what happened.

He said he was sorry that he did not realize how much this affected me but now realized. Asked if there was anything he could do, I said no, just understand.

That's the short version but went better than I thought I still think he tried to cop out a bit. But he said he just wants me to be happy. So I think it is ok. I don't know if he's changing the will thing but that's the last of my worries.

That was the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do in my life. Im just so tired. It's still all kind of a blur. But I feel like I've lost 100lbs (even though I haven't) The counsellor also told them that fibro research has indicated that trauma can be a precursor to fibro or a correlating element.

Thanks for all your support. Honestly I wish you could all know what it means to me.

When I am in a clear state of mind, I wil catch up on others postings that I have missed being so pre-occupied.

 

[tiggspring]

i also have fibro, herniated discs in c spine and lumbar spine with foramin stenosis. arthritis in back and throughout. have trouble holding small things, drop things a lot, unsteady with dizziness. muscle spasms, base of skull and shoulders kill me. have trouble thinking, and am now forgetting i have things cooking (fortunately someone reminds me lol), cant handle stress very good, am in so much pain when stressed or change of weather.hubby and doc took me off work. am only 41 years old. having trouble with getting representation for disability because my age and the fact i am an rn. so depressed because cant be "normal". fell the other day and sprained ankle, hit arm on step. body hurt so bad for several days, felt like i could hardly bend legs to sit down. anyone else feel depressed about these things. then i see somebody in a wheelchair working and feel like i am less of a person.

Girl you are preaching to the chior!!! You will find many of us here work(ed) in some kind of helping profession and are always trying to figure out how to get back to doing what we love in an effective way. I worked in both nursing then Psych and actually got hurt on the job restraining a psychotic patient on a night were where short handed...the rest is history. It has taken a lot of work not to get depressed. I allow myself a day or two to wallow or get discorraged then I try to shake it off and move forward. I have found that having a plan of attack, some goals I can achive and a supportive husband have kept any clinical depression at bay. This thread has been a godsend. It got me through a really rough fall and especially since my DH started his phd and I try really hard not to bother him with things he can't fix but it has been HARD!

I'm not sure why you can't get somone to help with SSI. Have you tried the local FMS/cfids group for recomendations?It took me two years and a call to my congressman to get me before a judge and finally get my SSI. That was 16 yrs ago before fms was an offical diagnosis and I had to prove I had something that didn't exist That should not be a problem now.

As far as dropping things and falling...can you feel the tips of your fingers or bottoms of your feet. I bearly can. Didn't notice til I poked myself with a steak knife and didn't feel it...freeks people out when I show them..so I do it whenever I can lol my youngest gets upset that she can't tickle me. I lost my ability to be tickled. Not because of pain I just don't tickle. She was very excited to find if she wispers in my ear funny I giggle It really is the little things in life..

I use timers on the stove and in my phone or I'd forget everthing especially the kids bus which would be bad since its more than a mile away! My kids are always laughing at my timers among a million other things. They call me pooh because I walk around saying think, think ,think when I'm trying to keep something in my head that I need to retrieve from another room. Dh called me tigger before I got sick so at least I stayed in the same story!!lol
Hope this all made sense. I haven't been at my computer for awhile just to uncomfortable sitting at it so my phone is helping me stay connected.

Please come back often to laugh, cry tell us your story. The people here are really positive but completely understand how crazy this disease can be. Take care!

Sending pain free vibes and pixie dust to all!!!

 

[tiggspring]

Bright

How did things go? Thought of you all day but my phone wouln't post . Hope you get a good night sleep tonight and that today was the first step in you being completely free of the past!!! Hugs from pa!

 

[tiggspring]

Bright

How did things go? Thought of you all day but my phone wouln't post . Hope you get a good night sleep tonight and that today was the first step in you being completely free of the past!!! Hugs from pa!

 

[tiggspring]

I did it and it is over. I told my Dad I didn't have a dream and about how his comments and decisions have hurt me. He said the story he heard was that I was not sure what happened. I told him I was very sure what happened.

He said he was sorry that he did not realize how much this affected me but now realized. Asked if there was anything he could do, I said no, just understand.

That's the short version but went better than I thought I still think he tried to cop out a bit. But he said he just wants me to be happy. So I think it is ok. I don't know if he's changing the will thing but that's the last of my worries.

That was the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do in my life. Im just so tired. It's still all kind of a blur. But I feel like I've lost 100lbs (even though I haven't) The counsellor also told them that fibro research has indicated that trauma can be a precursor to fibro or a correlating element.

Thanks for all your support. Honestly I wish you could all know what it means to me.

When I am in a clear state of mind, I wil catch up on others postings that I have missed being so pre-occupied.

That's wonderful!!!! Now get some sleep!



Sorry guys for the double post and missing brights answer! Don't know if it was my blackberry hiccuping or my fibro brain!!! Oh for the days I could just blam it on technology!!lol

Night all

 

[melmathis]

i feel like everyone here understands. in response to tigg, i havent been able to be ticked anywhere in a long time. i never thought of it. my toes are usually numb. fingers and arms, legs and feet have neuropathy in them. i tried 1 lawyer and felt discouraged. i dont know how to answer some of the questions on the ssi form. where were you talking about trying, fms? not sure what that is. this is all new to me, the trying disability. dont know who to talk to.

 

[melmathis]

yesterday was a bad day. husband works 3rd shift. i didnt do dishes last night. when i woke this morning, hubbie had came home by that time and was washing dishes and cooked breakfast. he is so sweet.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]