I know exactly what you mean. I need to go back too. It has been 7 years. After 42 years I'm learning to put myself and my DH and kids first so we will go back to WDW on this great deal and if we can go back in the summer. I have realized when I take them into consideration not only do I lose but so do my kids. LAst trip my oldest DD begged to come back even though we stayed at a beachhouse blocks from the ocean! Its sad but they have never put me first and it has only been the last few years that I realized that no matter what I do I cannot win their love. They are too self absorbed in a variety of ways. I had a conversation with my DF recently and he didn't remember that I managed to gradute from college in three years despite working full time, taking care of DH1 while he was sick, in remission, then dying from Hodgkins disease then leukemia. How do you not remember that your 20 something daughter was mature enough to do that literally all by herself?I'm not bashing my family they did the best they know how but I finally got "when people show you who they are believe them!"
My family has come here several times but I find that when they are on my turf their "issues" Dm, DF, DSM are much more manageable. When I go home there are three families all with very different and major disfunctions. Which was good in that as a kid I thought they were all nuts
. I have my own and truely unique disfuctions to pass on to my kids! My family is much more lovable from a distance. I can enjoy a nice conversation and when it goes south find a diplomatic way to get off. Visiting is a lagistic (3 state) and emotional nightmare. Not good for FMS as you know.My trip to WDW was the first time I truely made a clean break without feeling guilty. It only too 41yrs and a husband with a Psych background to convince me it was OK
I'm not took hard headed.
I'm with your friends go to Disney then to Mom's for long weekend
. Ask yourself a year from now will she appreciate the time you sacrificed with DS? If yes see her first. If no WDW then quicke trip back home . I realize as our parents get older these decisions can have consequences but your sons not going to be home much longer either. For those of us who care about everone its a no win situation in the guilt department
Thats MHO for what its worth.
I know, I totally know what you are saying. Yet, I feel that although everytime I go see my mother it brings back all her issues of being with my Dad. She resents the fact that he remarried and had kids and she never did. In all fairness to her, he was an *** to her, but in his defence he knew he could never make her happy. He was right, she is not happy, I believe that is what has caused her mental state to deteriorate to bi-polar.
Obviously there is more to it than that, but she is always the victim. And her bitterness comes back everytime I go see her. She does not see that I appreciate all she did for me. She raised me till I was 16 while my father was out partying. They separated when I was 5. But through her bitterness she does not see that I appreciate her, she thinks I idolize my father. Ha, my father refused to help me ever again financially if I went to Disney last year.
I told him, I do not know if I will be able to walk for much longer, or what is wrong with me, so I am going while my son and I can take advantage. He has always told me to wait for everything. Wait till my son gets older so I can date, wait till my son gets older to get a job, wait till I pay off college to go on vacation, wait wait, wait.
Now I am a 40 year old single mom who hasn't dated in many many years, cause I was always trying to better myself, always working. Now I feel like it's too late to find someone to get married, and I am sick. I was really worried when they t hought I had Lupus cause I thought what the hell did I wait for?? To get sick?? That is also what prompted me to go back to college, that I never did what I wanted to all along, cause I didn't have the courage.
SO I told my Dad, sorry you feel that way, I am not waiting any more. Don't help me ever again but just because I am a single mom, and not rich, does not mean I cannot go on vacation. Besides, I have not needed his help financially for years. My dad has a maid, house paid for, car paid for, and does not get my life. He never will. So I have not asked for his help since. and will not, even if my child and I are starving, I would not ask him for help. And my Dad says it is not my job to worry about my mom, but she is ill and I will always worry about her. But my grandma is there to help take care of her, but I don't know what will happen to my mom when she goes.
My mom understood why I went to Disney even though she misses me so much. Bless her. But she is at the other end of Canada, so it's not as easy to go for a weekend. I wish, then it would be no question, I would do Disney in a heartbeat. It's almost a quick Disney trip what it would cost me. And although it will be painful and stressful, I will try to go to Disney next year I hope or the year after.
Ahh...sorry for the long long vent, Now that you all now me very well, can you tell all that ticks me off. I say love your family, but live for yourself.
I think we all have similar stories, we all have fibro, not an easy thing. We have all had to adjust our lives accordingly. This has taught me though, don't wait till tomorrow to be happy or go on that vacation, etc etc cause tomorrow might never come. I think I would not have gone to Disney for a second time with my son, or gone back to college if I had not gotten sick. Do it today!!!
Stephanie
Congrats on the career change
. You have my sympathies
Hope you are feeling a little less overwhelmed this week. My DH took two days in a hotel and SEEMS to have chilled a bit. He cant wait for Dec. 16th!
Or move to Florida with me. 
You would think the next night would be an earlier night but not so. 
And I hope you can stop worrying- thinking about things too 
I know how you have been stressing about all that work.
A medication I had never heard about until a week ago pg 14. Posters results of sleep studies etc is mixed in with alot of stories and support so it may take some time to ferret it out. Don't hesitate to aks us anything everone here is GREAT
