Feelings after the wedding

[linzwylie]

Just wondering if anyone else feels 'different' after their wedding?

Everyone told me that I would feel no different after the wedding especially because Lee and I have been together for 12 years and were pratically married anyway. But I Disagree.....

I wouldn't say I love Lee any more than I did before but there is definatly a new kind of closeness that we both say we feel.

Kind of like we share a special secret that no one knows about.

I feel like we shared such a special moment and have never been happier in our relationship.

I see people wearing wedding rings all the time and wonder if they have that 'special feeling'.

How about you girls?? Or am I just strange

Linz B xxx

 

[JandJ]

You're not strange - hahaha!! It's funny because everyone told me I'd feel different after we were married so I wasn't surprised when I did. I loved the "I'm engaged!" feeling but being married felt, and feels, different - and it's been almost 4 years! I love being married to my wonderful hubby We were together just 18 months before we walked down the aisle so I don't think it has anything to do with the length of time you're together before you say "I do" it's just <being married> that feels great! Don't get me wrong, there are times, for him and me, well let's just say we always love each other but for a couple of minutes here and there over the last 3.5 years we haven't always liked each other but the love and the happiness of being married hasn't faded.

May you and your DH always have that "special feeling" you're experiencing now!

 

[Elsha]

My DH and I have been married for 4 years, and you're right...it's different. As stated above...even when you don't like each other very much for a time...that special person is always there in your heart.

My uncle has a good theory about men in general too, which his wife (for all intensive purposes) and I have come to strongly agree with...

"All men are jerks (well, something a little ruder)...you just need to find your jerk. The one you can live with, and can't live without."

 

[dhay]

We owned a house for a year before we were ever engaged and once I got married I felt it was "official" and more "respectable" than being a girlfriend and having a boyfriend when I was almost 30 years old. And to be honest I didn't feel a huge compelling reason to get married other to be "official" since we owned a house and knew we were committed. But I am so glad we did!

And not that we weren't committed before, but knowing that we are marrried we know that even when we get so angry at each other, we have to work thru it because we committed to being each other's partner. I think that until you are married you still subconscioulsy think you have an "out" if you get mad. Whereas unless DH were to cheat on me (and vice versa), everythign else can be worked thru. And knowing that gives me a sense of comfort I did not have before if that makes sense.

 

[Ember]

Well, I guess I'm the odd one out. I feel no different at all, and neither does he. We actually have a running joke about things being "different when you're married." I have been known to use it as an excuse to buy new shoes ("But my shoes need to be different, I'm married!").

I entered my marriage with a firm belief that marriage doesn't alter things. I had watched couples get married who bought into the ideal that their "two hearts now beat as one." I watched women who thought marriage was a binding tie put their trust in their vows to make everything okay. I watched couples break those vows. I knew that a marriage wasn't a guarantee of stability, or happiness, or trust. Those things had to exist before and they need work and effort to continue to exist.

We wrote our ceremony together, and we were very mindful of keeping "romantic nonsense" out of it. One of my favorite parts of our ceremony was this passage: "The joy we feel now is a solemn joy, because the act of marriage has many consequences, both social and personal. Marriage requires "love", a word we often use with vagueness and sentimentality. We may assume that love is some rare and mystical event, when in fact it is the outcome of time, work, and shared experience."

Anyway, I know I blathered on... So as a simple answer, no, I feel as close and connected as I did before I spoke my wedding vows. Heaven willing, I have decades ahead of me to continue to feel humbled, honored, and so very lucky to be with the person I love.

Edited to add: I guess, ultimately, I don't believe marriage doesn't have an "out." The divorce rate alone proves that it does. I do not feel my relationship is more real or valid now then it was before, nor do I feel any sense of superiority over those couples who aren't married. It's love that binds me, not simply the fact that I am married and now have the title of "wife." And that love existed before. In 10 years of dating and 2 years of marriage that love hasn't changed.

 

[rumrunnergirl]

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