Feelings about defending other DISers?

[Ladyhawke10]

I've been feeling weird about the DIS ever since I had my second run-in with being flamed on the DIS--which isn't a terrible average, considering it's been two and a half years and I post regularly--but that's what's been bothering me and I stopped posting advice. Why, on this board, don't people bond more? When I was on a pregnant board several years ago, I remember becoming part of a group and people emailed me from time to time for many years afterward. It could just be the nature of the DIS for posters to be less connected to each other, but other than a few nice PMs and posts, I feel like someone could come along and say terrible things (this has only happened once on here where it was really bad) and even though I'm someone posting all the time, no one will really care. I guess this is in the same line as Thread Killers or Are There Cliques? I do have some friends on here, but it's almost scary to me how disconnected people seem to be from one another on here. I just wanted to open this up a little bit and see what others have experienced.

 

[msklcassidy]

I'm a regular reader but don't post all that often (mostly because of time). I'm sorry you've been flamed by others. I can't say that I have (yet) though I'm sure I will at some time.

I don't really see the cliques or groups...but I tend to overlook these types of things. I guess they exist as they exist elsewhere in life, but I simply don't really pay attention to this type of thing.

All I really wanted to say was sorry you've been flamed by others.

 

[Christine]

I haven't really noticed that people are more disconnected here than anywhere else, but maybe that is just me. I have had a few PMs here and there, when I was feeling down, but no, I've never developed any "deeper" relationships past that. I also participate on a few other forums and I find it the same there.

Now, I don't know if it is because of *my* personality and maybe I just don't throw of real friendly vibes, but I just assumed people kept things at a distance.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think that there are SO many people posting that it can be impersonal unless a person kind of has a smaller group that they post with. That's why the groups form and people become "friends", even if it is internet friendships. That and there will be some people who post hoping to stir up trouble and others with simply no tact.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Now, I don't know if it is because of *my* personality and maybe I just don't throw of real friendly vibes, but I just assumed people kept things at a distance.

If you had of come to the local DIS meet I would have met you!!! Geez, I tried... BTW, I'm joking and I know you weren't up to meeting.

 

[Christine]

If you had of come to the local DIS meet I would have met you!!! Geez, I tried... BTW, I'm joking and I know you weren't up to meeting.

Yeah, I definitely was in a FUNK then!!! Hopefully next time I'm not in the middle of another health crisis!

 

[kbkids]

I'm sorry you were flamed. Can't say anybody has ever really said anything major to hurt my feelings, although once, I did get a little ticked about something, but then just decided that person didn't know one thing about me, so their opinion of the kind of person they thought I was, was so off-base, and quite frankly, I just didn't care what a stranger hundreds of miles away from me thought!

I'm formed a few bonds here and there, one I've met personally because of the DIS, but in general, I tend to stay distant too. I think it's just the nature of the internet.

Try not to let you get to you.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I got attacked big time once on here. People took a post wrong and really jumped on me. It was very disheartening. Someone I know outside of the Dis but posts on here regularly came to my rescue. Thank goodness.

She explained to them I was taken the wrong way. And its funny, but someone who really clobbered me, her and I have become friends here on the Dis. Funny how things happen. Take it with a grain of salt though.

 

[kdibattista]

I have been on the receiving end a lot lately. Although I felt the need to defend myself (noone like to have others think they are selfish, etc), I have realized that it doesn't matter. Like Tigger&Belle says, some people just like to stir things up and some I guess make themselves feel better by putting others down. I have come to the conclusion that although it would be nice if everyone got along, we don't all get along in "real life" and we can choose in "real life" to distance ourselves from those people, and that is what I'm going to try and do here.

 

[kbkids]

I got attacked big time once on here. People took a post wrong and really jumped on me. It was very disheartening. Someone I know outside of the Dis but posts on here regularly came to my rescue. Thank goodness.

She explained to them I was taken the wrong way. And its funny, but someone who really clobbered me, her and I have become friends here on the Dis. Funny how things happen. Take it with a grain of salt though.

Yeh - kinda like that here too - one that I had a disagreement with forever ago came to my rescue on the latest "issue." Seriously, I just click that little red X box in the corner of my computer screen when I get aggravated with internet comments. Unsubscribe from the thread so it doesn't end up in my email and get on with life. Don't let it bother you!

 

[mickeyfan2]

Word can be taken wrong and feelings can get hurt. I know I have done both. That being said I don't have any real friends here, just some who I am becoming friendly with (and that is with exchanges). The exchange people tend to be more friendly.

 

[Stitchfans]

I think everyone has to be flamed at least once or twice. It happens. I am the one who started the "clique" thread. From that I found a lot of really neat friends. There are a lot of real nice, concerned, thoughtful people on this board and some real fuddy duddys. ignore the fuddy duddys they aren't any fun.

 

[BelleMcNally]

I don't know about as a whole, but as individuals, I've found that people here are just a nice, if not nicer, than on other message boards. When I've been "flamed" it was never to the point where it actually offended me or caused me to feel threatened by it (not really in my nature), but even then I got supportive PMs from people telling me not to let other posters get to me.

I haven't met any DISers in "real life", but I'd like to eventually. That said, there are several posters here that I do feel attached to, and if I felt they were really being attacked, I would step up and defend them. Although, imagining the situations in which they would be likely to get attacked, I'd probably be under fire myself!

 

[buddy&wooz]

I don't know why, but I've never seen this board as a place to get close to other people. Maybe on some of the long running group threads, but the board as a whole? No. There are too many people with very little in common.

I enjoy this board more for the diversity than anything else. I have online friends other places who I have a lot in common with (moms, politics, whatever) but I come here to hear from people who don't necessarily think like me, come from the same background as me...

I guess maybe what I like about this board may be what some people don't like about it .

 

[Ladyhawke10]

I actually had a great time at a DIS meet on a Disney cruise. It was kind of amazing meeting everyone in real life. They were all so different, for one thing---there are all different types of people posting.

Yeah, the main time I got flamed (it was about a year ago) I thought my post was really misinterpreted. It was meant to be taken tongue in cheek and not literally, and gosh, I got the poster with pitchforks scenario and it really shocked me. The latest incident was very minor, but it brought back the feelings from the incident a year ago, and I started wondering if it was worth it to post. I guess it's a matter of expectations--it's good to hear that the internet is more impersonal and that it's normal that regs don't come rushing to each other's rescue--I was thinking I was being left out of the support system Now I know that this is what everyone experiences on the internet. Thanks for the hugs and letting me talk this through

 

[disykat]

I think everyone has to be flamed at least once or twice. It happens. I am the one who started the "clique" thread. From that I found a lot of really neat friends. There are a lot of real nice, concerned, thoughtful people on this board and some real fuddy duddys. ignore the fuddy duddys they aren't any fun.

I like to think of myself as a nice, concerned, thoughtful fuddy duddy. The only flames I've gotten lately have been about my "fuddy duddiness". Briefly, I even had someone following me around and making snarky comments on anything I posted.

I really don't have bad feelings about not "bonding" with people here. I have lots of people that I consider myself friendly with. Not being in any of the "friendship groups" has more to do with me having absolutely no interest in it than anything else. If I wanted to, I could pretend I found them amusing and join right in.

 

[luvflorida]

I just wanted to open this up a little bit and see what others have experienced.

Here is how I feel about Disboards, for what it's worth.

I discovered Disboards three years ago when I was searching for Disney trip info. I eventually made it over to the community board and hardly ever post anywhere else. It is a fantastic place to get information on just about anything. I can ask a question and inevitably someone has the answer.

I am basically a curious, (okay nosy), person and I love to see how other people live, think, etc. It's kind of like finding the Holy Grail. The best part is, I can come and go as I please, taking and leaving what I want. That sounds callous, but that's not how I mean it. I can choose to ignore those people who just post to be mean or hurtful and that have nothing positive to add to a post. I can respond to a thread where I feel my input might be helpful, or I can send good wishes to someone who needs them, with the hopes that it will at least let them know that people are here and people do care.

In return, I have gotten a lot of good advice and many helpful replies when I've needed them. If I post about a situation, (kids, school, trips, etc.), I know there are going to be people who will understand and offer their views, opinions, and yes, even flames.

I have never met anyone on the Dis in real life, but I do feel as though there are people here that I consider friends in cyberspace. I enjoy light-hearted banter and especially like 'meeting' people with a good sense of humor. I have had many good laughs here, (I laughed so hard at the replies to the infamous fart thread that my family was beginning to think I had totally lost it), and I have read some seriously disturbing threads that have made me question the OP's sanity, (not going to mention the specifics).

It's all here for the taking. The good, the bad, and yes, the ugly. The Disboards is like an extension of real life people, but not a replacement for real life people. Does that make sense? And, yes, I have seen cases where other posters have defended someone or backed up someone. I think a lot of the time, people do this through PMs.

Gee, guess I'm rambling here. I tend to do that.

Did I even answer your original question?

 

[kpm76]

Awww, sorry if your feelings have been hurt. One of my biggest complaints with communicating electronically is the inability to show emotion when speaking.....it's just words that we read with no option to use a particular tone or emphasis. Consequently, we sometimes misunderstand someone, we may think they are serious when it fact they are joking and the list goes on. I am a literal person for the most part (how did I ever make it as an English major...lol) so sometimes I get upset when I read something but before I post I try to stop and think if perhaps the person may have intended something different than simply what I am reading. I try not to be reactionary for that very reason. Hope this makes sense and hope a few flames don't keep you from posting

 

[Hannathy]

I've noticed some boards are more cliqueish than others and if you post an opinion different than that group you will get called rude, mean etc just because you don't agree with them - and I don't mean name calling or being derogatory just a different opinion. I try not to let it bother me but if you just want people to agree with you don't ask others opinion.