Feeling sad, dh is away...

[Blondy876]

My dh was promoted earlier this year. Part of his new position includes travel. He left this morning for DC for three days. We have been apart since we got married (only 2 days at most) but I am really struggling with this. I think it's hard because my 6 yr old is a mess. I'm just really sad, and a little worried. I made plans for my dd so that she won't be sitting around and missing Daddy. She is spending the night at her grandparents where she will get to swim and I bought her a new movie to watch while she is there too. I know she'll be OK. But he just left about 30 minutes ago and right now we are all very sad.

 

[Twinkles6892]

My dh was promoted earlier this year. Part of his new position includes travel. He left this morning for DC for three days. We have been apart since we got married (only 2 days at most) but I am really struggling with this. I think it's hard because my 6 yr old is a mess. I'm just really sad, and a little worried. I made plans for my dd so that she won't be sitting around and missing Daddy. She is spending the night at her grandparents where she will get to swim and I bought her a new movie to watch while she is there too. I know she'll be OK. But he just left about 30 minutes ago and right now we are all very sad.

To you! I know how you feel, my parents left weds. for 4 nights in RI. I was not a fan of this plan, but they went anyway And I love my grandmother, but she's driving me crazy! Oh, the present better be good, and if they think they're going away for this long again, oh, they are sadly mistaken!

 

[Hermosa11]

Let your daughter know that this away time from your DH will be opportunity for you and daughter to have some fun bonding time! Do something different!
Go somewhere different! Shop! Have an ice cream cone! Otherwise, she will "take on" your emotional state of being............
(FYI, I say this with experience, DH had National Guard when kids were 6yr old and younger).............

 

[Blondy876]

Let your daughter know that this away time from your DH will be opportunity for you and daughter to have some fun bonding time! Do something different!
Go somewhere different! Shop! Have an ice cream cone! Otherwise, she will "take on" your emotional state of being............
(FYI, I say this with experience, DH had National Guard when kids were 6yr old and younger).............

I'm trying to be upbeat. But the thing is, I'm fine, I'm taking on my dd's emotions. When she started crying, I got upset. I am getting her a movie that she has wanted for months, and she is getting to spend the night at the grandparents.

 

[va32h]

I'm probably going to sound very harsh here, but three days is really not that bad. Just ask any military family whose spouse has been gone for over a year (and until this past March, I was one of them).

Don't dwell on your sadness and worries. Go shopping, take your daughter out to lunch, plan a special dinner or dessert for when daddy comes home. The weekend will probably go by very quickly.

 

[Blondy876]

I'm probably going to sound very harsh here, but three days is really not that bad. Just ask any military family whose spouse has been gone for over a year (and until this past March, I was one of them).

Don't dwell on your sadness and worries. Go shopping, take your daughter out to lunch, plan a special dinner or dessert for when daddy comes home. The weekend will probably go by very quickly.

I'm sorry this isn't a big deal for you, you didn't need to respond. My brother is in the Navy and was gone for over a year, I know what it is like, and I am in no way diminishing their hard work. I was simply stating that I and my children are having a tough time. This is a first for us.

 

[CEDmom]

I know it's hard when they're away especially if the kids are having a tough time with it. My DH is away a few times a year and it can be hard on my DD. What I've done is to come up with some fun things we only do when Daddy is away.

Her favorite is to have a campout in the family room. I guess that would really be a camp in, wouldn't it ? Anyway, we have some of our favorite snacks, watch a fun movie and sleep in sleeping bags on the floor. DD even sets up her little play tent to sleep in. My back usually isn't too happy with this arrangement the next morning but it's a small price to pay.

Anyway, I hope the time apart goes quickly and if you try to keep a positive attitude your DD will try as well. Take care.

 

[SleepyMom]

My DH travels a lot for work, not as much as he used to when DD11 was a baby, but enough that we miss him a lot.

To help get her ready before he leaves we usually make plans for the 2 of us, decide what we are going to do for the week. While he's gone I really play it up that this is our special time together and all the things we can do (doesn't have to be expensive, sometimes we just get a movie from the library and have popcorn). He calls every day and I make sure she gets to tell him everything she is up to (school stuff, dance, going to a friends, whatever). Plus she now has her own e-mail account and they e-mail each other each day.

Pretty soon it is Friday and we are waiting for Dad to get home!

 

[Blondy876]

Thanks CEDmom and Sleepymom. Since I know these trips are going to become a regular thing for us I will defiantly use those ideas.

 

[chrissyk]

I'd also use the time to do special mother/daughter things with DD. Moreover, we'd be eating all the things that we love and DH hates!! It'd be taco night followed by fondue night followed by waffle night in my house

 

[hugsquared]

My DH travels for up to 3 weeks at a time and is only home a few days before he has to go back. I know how you feel. He's my best friend and while he's away it feels like time stands still. H left this past Tues morn and won't be home until the day before we leave on our Disney trip which is 3 weeks from today. Hang in there...you'll make it. Maybe you and DD could work on planning a special "Welcome Home" dinner or something....something for you both to work on and look forward to.

 

[Mimi Q]

 

[Briarmom]

Here are some special things we do when dh is gone (like all this week)

Movie night (popcorn and a movie at our house)
Movies at the theatre
Go to Michaels and buy a craft to work on
Make cookies
Go out for breakfast (mommy isn't very good at pancakes...that's daddy's job)
Go to museums or the zoo
This week I took dd to Build a Bear

Gosh, I know there are more. Dh is in the military and we have this a lot. This time he was only gone for a week, so no big deal, but we fully expect him to be gone for a year pretty soon. You'll do fine, so will dd, and you WILL get used to it. I like to do special things for myself as well. Sometimes I cook dinner for the kids and then wait until they are in bed to eat dinner in QUIET with a glass of wine. Good Luck! You'll do fine.

 

[SherryNC]

Maybe you and DD could work on planning a special "Welcome Home" dinner or something....something for you both to work on and look forward to.

I was thinking something along those lines as well. Homemade cards are always fun to make and will be a treasure for dad.

 

[4nana]

I know it's not easy and the first time is the worst.

Here's wishing you luck in some type of adjustment as time passes. This is all new to you, so of course it's difficult, but as the time passes, you will figure it all out. It really does help to keep yourself busy and try to think positive. A good opportunity to do some special things with DD.

Our SIL got a promotion recently also and his job will include more traveling. He and DD have 3 very involved kids to transport all around, plus she works, so it really can get stressful at times . She does the best she can, and like you, she is fortunate to have parents near by to lend a helping hand.

Congrats on your DH promotion!

 

[Pop Daddy]

give it a couple of years and you will love it when he goes

 

[ksjayhawks]

The first few times are going to be the worst. After that you will develop your routines and it will just be a part of your normal, everyday life.

Your daughter will take her cues from you. I would talk with her about her feelings, let her express them. Explain that this is part of daddy's job and what he must do to take care of you guys. If he can, he can call her every night before bed time and she can share her day with him.

My husband travels for his work, not as much as he used to. It has become a part of our normal routine/life. Life goes on, he just isn't here. Sometimes when he was gone and the kids were littler, we would do fun things like indoor campout or go to movies he wouldn't care for, eat while watching tv, etc.

It will all work out, just give it time.

 

[Kitty 34]

to you. It's always hard when someone is away for awhile.

 

[swtnikki]

I know how hard it is to be away from a loved one. I get to see my fiance once a week, mostly on Sundays. This Sunday he has to work though, so I'll have to wait 'til Wed. I know it's not the same per say, but I do miss him just the same.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Have hubby bring a souvenir for your daughter.

My hubby travels alot--the departures suck...but we just have to pick up and continue.

You should spend your evening doing something for you as you may be fine--but as you said you are taking on your daughters emotions--so you do need distraction.

We also have a webcam and we do daily video conferences when he is away (1 year field assigment).