Feeling guilty about taking kids out of school for vacation.

[Aurora in blue]

Last year before my son started first grade we planned our trip to Disney. We will be going 11/25-12/5. A few weeks ago he was sick and missed two days of school. I couldnt belive all the work he had to make up for just those two days. Our schools policy is that they will not send home work in advance . I even asked the teacher who confirmed this. I am feeling so guilty about taking him outfor vacation. I feel like I should apologize to the teacher because I had no idea how much work he would be missing when we made our plans. Of course I knew he would miss a whole weeks worth but i was overwhelmed when he just missed two days. I also have a daughter in Kindergarten in the same school,however she doesn't have nearly as much school work as my first grader. I was wondering if anyone else has felt so guilty about taking their kids out of school for vacation.I was also wondering what are some of the policies of other schools.

 

[DisLUV]

Sometimes this type of question will get you into a debate you dont want or need. This question is always asked and then the responses start. I say dont feel guilty you didnt know.

 

[rileyroosmom]

This becomes a hot topic on this board so be prepared. In answer to your question, I took my 5th and 1st grader out of their Long Island, NY school in May for 1 week. Neither teacher had a problem (nor did the district) no work was sent home or required to make up. I have since moved to Georgia and we are going to Disney again over Thanksgiving. I am so angry because the school district is VERY strict here. I got a hard time for taking my son to the dentist (had to take him out of school at 11am for the emergency appointment, figured it was better he came to school for a little while at least - he had 2 teeth pulled) Anyway, I decided on a Thanksgiving trip so they wouldn't miss school and now I am kicking myself since it is going to be so crowded. I'm mad I let a school make my decision. Both my sons are average to above average kids, they are growing so fast I should have planned my vacation when I wanted to. I think a week of school in year is nothing. Don't feel guilty go and have a great time!!!

 

[earldale97]

What we have found is that it is up to the teacher. Last year we went on a week long cruise for Halloween. All my son had to do was tell his teacher and class about all what he had learned. Another teacher just said he wanted a t shirt. (which we didn't get) but no piles of work when we got back. He had things to do but was able to work on them at school.

This year I am not really sure, he is in middle school so I am guessing he will have alot when we get back. Our schools also say they do not get it before they leave. But that depends on the teacher also if they have it ready they will give it to him. Otherwise he will just have to catch up when we get back.

I have always heard as long as they are good in school it is OK for them to miss. But if they are behind and having problems you may want to shoot for a summer vacation. Otherwise you may risk them getting so far behind that can't catch up with their class.


Good luck!

 

[Lisa AF]

You'll remember the great vacation, not the homework. Don't let worry ruin a minute of you trip. You've made your plans, go have fun!!!

 

[Puffy2]

He's only in first grade. It's your kid. Go, have fun and don't think about it - the memories you'll make and the fun you'll have as a family duirng the off season, in cool weather with no crowds will out weigh anything else at this age.

 

[Cleokitty]

I don't feel a bit guilty when we take our kids out, whether it be for vacation, a family wedding, etc. Yes, they have make up work but we always get it done, and they are no worse off for having missed a few days. And, family time is highly under-rated!

I will say that when my girls first started school, I was religious about not missing unless they were deathly ill. But then, one was deathly ill--no joke--and the teacher sent home her work on a Friday after she had been out all week and wanted it done and back by Monday. Heck, she wasn't even back at school yet and a "sick" folder was sent home. She went back to school for 1/2 days the next week and the teacher finally got her work more than two weeks later. Since then, I've learned not to worry about it. If they can do that to a child who is so sick, then they don't have our best interests at heart. And, I don't feel one bit guilty for the decisions I make.

Enjoy yourself and have a good time.

 

[CarolA]

I don't have kids, but I have friends who teach. For the most part they no longer work with parents who take kids out of school. With the "No child left Behind" testing they just don't really have the time. When I was in high school I missed a week due to a trip to Europe. My Calculus teacher told me she would just flunk me so I dropped it at midterm.

It really is up to you, but your child may pay the consequences. There was a post on the CB not too long ago about a child who was required to stay for mandatory study hall for two weeks due to a vacation.

 

[tinkerbell13]

and I was feeling so guilty too, I have a HS junior and an 8th grader. My DD(hs) is in trig, chemistry, world history etc.. We had her on the short term program for kids that miss school for whatever reasons. She was able to get a lot of her work the week before we left and she was fine. My son also had no problems with the same program. They ended up having short days that week and both of them came back from our trip slightly ahead of the rest of the class.
Ask if your school has a program like this, kids do have to miss school for medical reasons a lot, so they must have some provisions for this, ask in the office, not just the teacher.
Don't feel guilty, it's the first grade, he'll be ok!

 

[dsp2]

Please do not feel guilty about this, your children will learn a lot more about the world and life by going on these trips. This is something that they cannot teach in school, and if they are at an age were the work load at school is an issue I am sure the teacher can send along a few assignments for the evenings if at all needed. Taking time out with your kids is the most important thing here, before you know it they are older and memories are lost.

Just one dad's view !!!

 

[asktriplets]

instead of feeling guilty, i'd feel pretty angry that a FIRST GRADER has so much work to make up....how ridiculous! i'm guessing that alot of the "makeup" work required is stuff they do in class as "busy work" (meaning it is paperwork just to occupy time)....i know that a lot of what kids are learning in first grade needs to be memorized (adding, phonics), but if your child understands what is being taught and isn't struggling to keep up with what is expected, i wouldn't spend another second stressing!!!!

perhaps starting to keep a close eye now on exactly what they're working on (both classwork and for homework) will help ease your mind---if you know the concepts and math/reading drills they are learning, you can practice and/or incorporate those into your trip (adding and subtracting things in the parks, looking at maps together, reading signs, doing world showcase activities,etc. etc)

even if the teacher won't give you work ahead of time, i'm wondering if letting her know that you are keeping track of what they are/will be learning and that you'll be working on these things while on vacation (even if it IS presented in such a fun way that your child would never guess that he is doing lessons...this is the best kind of learning, anyway, don't you think?!?!?) will go a long way in getting the teacher to be more understanding and helpful (maybe not, though!)


good luck and have a great time!!!!!

 

[PlutoPony]

Just curious...how much time do you think it should take an elementary school child to make up all class work missed in a day they are out (for whatever reason)? Let's assume they're in school learning 5 hrs./day (here they're in school 6 hrs, minus half hour lunch, 15 minutes recess - but I'll round down to 5 hrs spent on school work).

Half an hour? An hour? 4 hours??? What do you all think?

 

[Brian Noble]

Personally, we have yet to take our kids out of school. We are blessed with the ability to take family vacations during school vacations, which not everyone can do. It is more crowded and more expensive at those times, but we believe that's best for our family. We haven't been faced with the "miss school or never go" conundrum, so I can't say what we'd do if that were the case.

To be fair, we did recently consider going to DLR for a long weekend in December, with my 1st grade DD missing two days of school. I had a west coast business trip scheduled, we have soon-to-expire DLR APs, our work schedules are currently very flexible, and the flight/hotel would have been very affordable. Perhaps most importantly, I really wanted to see Haunted Mansion Holiday . In the end, between missing two days of school and dealing with time zone issues, we decided to skip the DLR trip and let the passes expire. But, that's just our decision---it needn't apply to anyone else.

Enjoy this trip---it's scheduled, and you should and will have a great time. Your involvement in your son's education speaks well to your ability to help him deal with any missed/makeup work. I suspect that missing one week in first grade won't make the difference between acceptance and rejection at Harvard.

However, if you do feel bad about having your son miss school, and you have the ability to go during summers or other school holidays, perhaps it will work best for your family to do that for future trips.

 

[llij]

Don't feel guilty. It is family time and that is what is most important.

I've taken my daughter out for a week for the past two years and I will again in a few weeks. Our school policy is that the teachers won't give advance work and that is ok with us. I don't want the teachers to have to do extra work to accomodate us.

Each year, the teachers have been great and this year is no different. My DD's third grade teacher said to have a great time! My other DD is in Kindergarten and this will be the first time pulling her out. I don't anticipate a problem there either.

Have a wonderful trip!!

 

[Chicago526]

Don't feel bad, you didn't know when you made the ressies. Now you do, so you can avoid it in the future if you wish. Just make sure you're 1st grader knows he'll have to work extra hard when he comes back, and of course help him as much as is appropriate.

My parents pulled me out for a week in 2nd grade. I had the time of my life, and I (and my parents) wouldn't have traded it for anything!

See if your teacher will meet you half way. If you child uses text books or workbooks, try to find out the pages they'll be covering that week, you can at least do some of the work ahead of time! It should be too much to ask just to get what pages/chapters would be covered, especially since they should have the leasons planned already, anyway.

 

[TinyToonThor]

As a teacher I can honestly say that there is no way a child can "make up" the 5 days or more they will miss while on vacation. Simply doing the homework assignments is no substitute for missing that much class. While some students can handle the responsibility, I have had others whose grades have suffered for that six weeks period. That being said, I still have parents who take their kids out of school once in the fall and once in the spring.

 

[DizMom11]

My kids are 12, 9, 7, and I have taken them out of school twice. The first time it was for two full weeks in Dec. 2001, the second time it was for ten days in April 2003. I do not regret it for one minute. I personally don't care what the school system thinks or does. I know what is right for my children better then they do. Yes, they had work to make up, and yes, some teachers were a little ticked off. In the end my kids happily made up the work, and the teachers that had an attitude got over it. Life is too short not to follow your heart. DISNEY RULES!!!!

 

[MsLefty]

Up until last year, we had never taken the girls out of school for a vacation. Heck, we couldn't even afford a vacation. Last year we decided we NEEDED a vacation, but those pesky "seasons" only allowed for a trip during school in order to hit the value times. We pulled the girls out for 3 days. About 10 days prior to our vacation, I wrote a note to their teachers. I told them of our upcoming vacation and asked that if there was any work they'd like the girls to get done during vacation, to please send it home with them. This way, I put it on the teacher's shoulders to decide whether or not THEY felt the work should be done during vacation. Both girls received small packets of paperwork and actually finished them before we left.

One more thing... one of my daughter's teachers told me this: Harvard doesn't look at first grade records!

 

[GoofyJoofy]

We have three children DD-13 (8th grade), DD-11 (6th grade) and DS-10 (5th grade). We have never taken our children out of school for anything but strep throat.

Last year the younger two missed 4 days each with strep, and it took them a week to complete all the in-school work and homework that they missed, while also doing the new homework.

We have planned a December trip to WDW to celebrate the holiday season before Christmas. So far it is a surprise that the kids do not know about.

The school has been giving strong messages about not missing any days. It will not be tolerated, and it will be very difficult to make up the missed work.

My kids are all B+ and above in all subjects, and we are pulling them for 3 days. But with all the comments coming from school (but the teachers do not know about our plans yet) we are feeling like the kids will pay the price for wildness.

I feel your pain and we keep going back and forth about cancelling our trip.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Originally posted by TinyToonThor
As a teacher I can honestly say that there is no way a child can "make up" the 5 days or more they will miss while on vacation. Simply doing the homework assignments is no substitute for missing that much class. While some students can handle the responsibility, I have had others whose grades have suffered for that six weeks period. That being said, I still have parents who take their kids out of school once in the fall and once in the spring.

What "make-up" work should a first grader have anyway?

As long as your kiddos are doing all right with the basics, go for it. If they aren't, maybe some concentrated "mommy learning time" will catch them up. They would probably be much better off anyway. Most people learn better, one-on-one.

We aren't talking Physics or Calc.

Have a great trip! And keep in mind that there isn't any reason a child should have to do endless paperwork on a subject they understand. Just don't do the make-up work if that is the case.