Feeling guilty about NOT taking 4 yr. old son !

[jiggerj]

I have planned a wonderful trip for my mom, 2 dd's (12 and 16) and myself. I had decided it was time to spend some quality time with my 2 girls and my mother (my moms getting older and my oldest dd will be off to college next yr.) Really explore Epcot and focus on things and activities that are a little more than rides, rides, rides. Also planning on inquiring about college programs. But now I have gotton the guilt trips about leaving my 4 yr. old home with his dad for 4 nights. We took my son with us last Sept. and it was NOT a very happy time for anyone. My girls are excited for "just us girls" trip but Im starting to just feel "not right" about going back to disney without my son. I know that I will be taking him back again when he gets a little older and can really enjoy it. But now that the trip is actually getting closer Im starting to focus more on "How can I go to disney without him !" Please tell me I'm not being a mean mom !

 

[Magic2000]

That's a really tough one!!! Is HE asking about going again? Or, are you just feeling guilty? I would suggest talking to him about how much fun he'll have with his Daddy - maybe Dad can take him to do something really special just the two of them! But, go and enjoy the time with your girls! He'll be fine!!!

I have just the opposite for my upcoming trip. It was going to be a Mommy and Me trip (and now my DH has decided to join us!). But my older two teen DDs are staying home. They really aren't interested in Trick Or Treating, so they are OK with just my youngest DD and me going! (We'll all be going again as a family next summer) At first I felt kind of funny leaving two of my kids, but they'll be fine too! (And, they've already started on the list of souvenoirs they want us to bring back!)

 

[twotoohappy]

if you did end up taking him, for alone time most of the resorts(if you're staying there or not) have a kids club house from 4-midnight. I get alone time with my mom (being a grammy wears her out too) by having my daughter play at the clubhouse and my daughter loves the mouseketeer clubhouse at the Contemporary!

 

[Jordan's MOM]

What about a daddy and son trip in the near future? If the trip is planned around him and not older sisters, I bet that the two of them would have a blast.




Jordan's mom

 

[abeyst]

Don't feel guilty about not taking him. Quality "girl time" with your mom and DD's will be priceless down the road, because you don't get too much time with them as they get older. It's truly a special time for all of you and you will remember it forever, and if DS was there you wouldn't be able to enjoy yourself the way you should. This is a good bonding time for you and your mom and daughters, and I don't think you should feel guilty about not taking him. He needs good alone time with DH. Fathers and sons don't get as much time together as they should these days, and this would be a perfect opportunity for them to "bond".

It's only 4 days, not 7 or 10 days. You are not doing anything wrong by not taking him. DS will be in good care with DH, and they, as well as you and Mom and DDs, will be able to experience something you wouldn't be able to do if DS was with you.

There will be many trips for DS in his future, I'm sure. And at 4 (I learned this with my 4 yo in February), you can't have a good time with them at Disney unless you do everything they want to do because they will be complaining the whole time if you don't.

Enjoy your trip, and enjoy the magical moments you will have on your trip with your mom and DDs.

 

[skiwee1]

Don't feel guilty. Having "girl time" is very important, especially at that age. I'm sure you will probably be taking trips with him in the future when the girls are no longer able to go. I take my mom and DD, 4, only and always leave the "boys" at home. I'm lucky in that they don't like WDW but I still think this time with the girls is important. This trip it will be my 4 y/o dd, 20 y/o dd, and my mom. We are so excited about it! There is nothing like a male-free vacation to make you wonder why you bring them in the first place anywhere! LOL!

 

[Mermaid02]

I guess I'm the only one here who couldn't leave one child home and take another on vacation. I went on a cruise with my best friend in 2001 and thought about taking my dd(who was 12) but no way could I have looked at the sadness in my little boy's face (he was 5) as we left and have had a good time. Why can't he and Daddy go and spend a lot of time doing 4 yo things, while you guys do "big kid" things? That's probably what I would try to work out.

 

[cathyz]

I agree that "girl time" is very important. I went 3 yrs. ago with DS8 and left DS5 home with DH. We had just went as a family in Nov., and DH & DS5 were such a pain with rides and shows and waiting, etc. DH know how disappointed DS8 and I were that we missed so much. So, he sent us back for a few days during Christmas. Now, granted he was VERY generous AND every situation is different...

But, I wouldn't trade those 5 days with my older son for anything! He is the BIGGEST Disney fan! My younger son is not really into rides or shows. Don't get me wrong - we still vacation as a family! But, we plan accordingly. It was just so nice to only have to worry about the 2 of us...He loved my "Commando Style" touring...We went from 7 am to midnight practically every night...We could eat pizza or fast food, and not worry about DH complaining...We sat 1 night on our balcony at the Dolphin and listened to Fantasmic! and watched for 20 mins. just to see a glimpse of Mickey on the Mountain. My DH would have thought we were nuts, but it still gives me goosebumps!

And, yes I did feel very guilty about leaving DS5. I still do. But, I feel more sure that it was important for DS8 and I to have that time together.

Good luck and ENJOY!

 

[jaccceee]

when my son was 4, I went to disney w/ best friend, her 8 yDD and my foster 8y DD. I felt terrible before the vacation and we didn't mention it around him. I am so happy that we went. she lives with her gramma now and we don't get to see her.

 

[4greatboys]

Mermaid I feel the same way. I dont think I could take one or 2 boys and leave the others home. Maybe his dad could plan a getaway that weekend for the boys.
If he was looking forward to a trip with dad--maybe even stay in town just spend the night at a hotel and swim, then he may not even want to go with you.
I do think you'd have a great time with your dd's and mom. I also think the idea of dad and ds going and hanging toget her is a good one.
Good luck!

 

[twotoohappy]

What about a girls room and a boys room?
You and the girls could have your time and the boys could have theirs?
Just a thought..... I'd have a hard time with it.
If he stays home , I'm sure the boys will do some great guy stuff together!

~Liz

 

[kashkdz]

I guess it also depends on how often you go to DisneyWorld. My wife and I went last November, and we took our DS (8y/o) and DD (5y/o) with us; we didn't take our 2 y/o DS (he would of been 3 in one month). We did feel bad at first because of what Disney World is all about, but we felt that with our two older kids, our youngest would be too young to go on most of the rides, and would be miserable. We had hoped to return to Disney World within a year or two, and fortunately FTP came along and now we're all booked for October. Our family (in its entirety) will be going and we can't wait.

So, my .02 is that if you plan on going again soon, you could get away with "going with the girls", otherwise emotionally it may be a little harder.

 

[safetymom]

http://www.waltdisneyworldcollegeprogram.com

This is the official site of the WDW College program. You will find out all sorts of information here. My daughter did the program twice and is now the Campus rep here at her college. It is a great program.

 

[jiggerj]

Thank you all for your great replies and concern. His dad and he have a great relationship and my husband is planning on spending quality father/son time together. My ds has already been to the world 3 times and I am sure that we will be returing next year with him. He does have some developemental delays so the idea of "going to see Mickey" without him will not be an issue. Again thank you for your replies and I am sure to miss him like crazy but will appreciate the quality time with my girls and my mom too.