Feeling Guilty about going solo

[DisneyTasha]

I have been to Disney as a young child, but had not been back in many, many years. Last September, my family took our first trip to Disney, which was a first for my husband and children and almost like a first for me. I was immediately hooked, and want to LIVE there. Seriously, I could easily pick up and move close to there tomorrow with no regrets.

My family does not feel the same. They liked it well enough, but when I was trying to plan another trip for this year, they kept complaining that we "were just there." What do they mean? It's been a full SIX MONTHS!

Anyway, I have a good friend who lives just outside of Kissimmee who has offered me a free place to stay if I ever want to visit again. She is a single mom of four who gets very little child support. Her 2 sons are stairstep sizes down from my son, and her daughter is 2-3 sized under my daughter. I have a ton of clothing to give to her for her kids and it would cost a lot to ship them. We have decided that instead of paying for me to ship them to her, she will send me gas cards, which she purchases at huge discounts using coupons and deals, and I'll drive them down instead. I can then do 2 days at Disney, park hopping. I'm thinking late April will be a good time, after the Easter and Spring Break craziness has subsided and before the summer heat/rain start in earnest.

I just really feel guilty. I have never done things alone. My husband will go off for a weekend, camping and riding his 4-wheeler in the mountains with friends I don't even know. And yet, I just feel guilty leaving not only him but my 2 kids home and doing something fun just for me. It won't cost much money from our budget: she will send the gas money for the trip and I can stay at her house for free, she coupons so will provide me with plenty of food, I have Disney gift cards that I have earned doing Swagbucks and other rewards programs for my tickets, and I even have some fast food gift cards for the road trip.

Hubby and I have been together for over 19 years, our 14th wedding anniversary is coming up, and our kids are almost 8 & 11. The only time before I've done anything alone in all that time was when I flew to visit a friend in another state for a weekend. Her husband worked for the airline, so roundtrip tickets cost $25, and my son was almost 2 and stayed home with his daddy. I would have taken him, but my husband didn't want him on an airplane that you. I was gone 3 nights total. Other than that, I've never left my boyfriend/husband back, let alone my kids.

Convince me that it's ok to take a solo trip once in a while.

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

I definitely think you should go. It will give you a recharge and time to visit with your friend. Your kids and hubby will love a happy mommy. You have the perfect trip and end of April is perfect. DH and I are going down the week after spring break this year and the crowd calendars look great! They weren't interested so this is a little splurge for you and we all need one every once in a while!

 

[Karin1984]

I think it is important for couples, no matter how long they have been together, to do things on their own once in a while. You are more than wife of your husband, or mother to your children.You are your own person, with your own likes and dislikes. Whether it's a long weekend at a spa or a stay in Disney; should you deny yourself what makes you happy? Like PP said, it will make you a happy mommy. Taking good care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your family.

Or to look at it a different way, see it as preparation for when your kids are older. At some point they will leave the nest and you will end up doing things on your own, 8-10 years from now. And when it comes to practice for solo-Disney trips, you can't start early enough ;-) Solo trips are the best! Imagine strolling through the shops without paying attention if the group is still together, ride the Teacups 10 times in a row because you feel like it or just sit and enjoy the people and the park... Travelling without compromising, I'd go with you in a second, but then it's not a solo trip anymore!

 

[LadyDiznee123]

I have been to Disney as a young child, but had not been back in many, many years. Last September, my family took our first trip to Disney, which was a first for my husband and children and almost like a first for me. I was immediately hooked, and want to LIVE there. Seriously, I could easily pick up and move close to there tomorrow with no regrets.

My family does not feel the same. They liked it well enough, but when I was trying to plan another trip for this year, they kept complaining that we "were just there." What do they mean? It's been a full SIX MONTHS!

Anyway, I have a good friend who lives just outside of Kissimmee who has offered me a free place to stay if I ever want to visit again. She is a single mom of four who gets very little child support. Her 2 sons are stairstep sizes down from my son, and her daughter is 2-3 sized under my daughter. I have a ton of clothing to give to her for her kids and it would cost a lot to ship them. We have decided that instead of paying for me to ship them to her, she will send me gas cards, which she purchases at huge discounts using coupons and deals, and I'll drive them down instead. I can then do 2 days at Disney, park hopping. I'm thinking late April will be a good time, after the Easter and Spring Break craziness has subsided and before the summer heat/rain start in earnest.

I just really feel guilty. I have never done things alone. My husband will go off for a weekend, camping and riding his 4-wheeler in the mountains with friends I don't even know. And yet, I just feel guilty leaving not only him but my 2 kids home and doing something fun just for me. It won't cost much money from our budget: she will send the gas money for the trip and I can stay at her house for free, she coupons so will provide me with plenty of food, I have Disney gift cards that I have earned doing Swagbucks and other rewards programs for my tickets, and I even have some fast food gift cards for the road trip.

Hubby and I have been together for over 19 years, our 14th wedding anniversary is coming up, and our kids are almost 8 & 11. The only time before I've done anything alone in all that time was when I flew to visit a friend in another state for a weekend. Her husband worked for the airline, so roundtrip tickets cost $25, and my son was almost 2 and stayed home with his daddy. I would have taken him, but my husband didn't want him on an airplane that you. I was gone 3 nights total. Other than that, I've never left my boyfriend/husband back, let alone my kids.

Convince me that it's ok to take a solo trip once in a while.

Hey Tasha:

You're not going away for 18 weeks...you're going away for a couple of friggin days to relax with something you really enjoy. Go for it. Like you said - Hubby does his own thing from time to time... it's not hurting ANYBODY for you to enjoy yourself for a couple of days.

I would hate for you to be at a place later in your life when you realize you didnt do ANYTHING for yourself... not even A COUPLE OF DAYS. Take that time. Again.. you not leaving for weeks upon weeks... you're only going for a few days.
Your kids are big and your hubby is grown. They'll get over it. You'll be a HAPPIER wife and mother when you do things for yourself as well as for them. You know the expression... HAPPY WIFE - HAPPY LIFE.

Do it and Enjoy!

 

[esbee27]

You sound like a great mom and wife and as is typical with such people, suffer from the natural inclination to always put others first and yourself last, looking upon anything done solely for yourself as a reason for guilt. Don't buy into it! You are still an individual who deserves to come first sometimes, and doing so in this case doesn't have a detrimental impact on anyone else. The people who love you won't begrudge you a little treat of your own. In fact, they'll probably be happy and supportive of you doing something for YOU.

So as Tom and Donna from Parks and Recreation would say, "treat yo self!"

 

[DisneyTasha]

Thanks everybody, I'm feeling better about going alone. Like I said, we were going together and they don't want to, so it's not like I'm depriving them. And yes, hubby does his own thing. I've offered the kids to go to camp, but they'll only do Day Camp, they're "not ready" for sleep-away camp, which is fine. It's their decision and I would never push them. But I've offered for them to be able to do their own thing too, right?

 

[LadyDiznee123]

Thanks everybody, I'm feeling better about going alone. Like I said, we were going together and they don't want to, so it's not like I'm depriving them. And yes, hubby does his own thing. I've offered the kids to go to camp, but they'll only do Day Camp, they're "not ready" for sleep-away camp, which is fine. It's their decision and I would never push them. But I've offered for them to be able to do their own thing too, right?

There is no selfishness on your end. You are still being more than reasonable even if you didn't offer anything but the fact that you are is commendable. The bottom line is that ALL of us need our individual space... our own space of happiness. When you are happier you will serve your family even better. I see a part of you is still struggling with it... and there's nothing wrong with that - just seems to be your nature. But again. Don't see to it that others are happy to your own detriment. There is only one MAIN reason to do this and that is because you spend all of your time taking care of everyone else and you deserve this. That's it. Plain and simple.

Hope you do it and Enjoy!

 

[Maleficent Dragon]

I have been to Disney as a young child, but had not been back in many, many years. Last September, my family took our first trip to Disney, which was a first for my husband and children and almost like a first for me. I was immediately hooked, and want to LIVE there. Seriously, I could easily pick up and move close to there tomorrow with no regrets.

My family does not feel the same. They liked it well enough, but when I was trying to plan another trip for this year, they kept complaining that we "were just there." What do they mean? It's been a full SIX MONTHS!

Anyway, I have a good friend who lives just outside of Kissimmee who has offered me a free place to stay if I ever want to visit again. She is a single mom of four who gets very little child support. Her 2 sons are stairstep sizes down from my son, and her daughter is 2-3 sized under my daughter. I have a ton of clothing to give to her for her kids and it would cost a lot to ship them. We have decided that instead of paying for me to ship them to her, she will send me gas cards, which she purchases at huge discounts using coupons and deals, and I'll drive them down instead. I can then do 2 days at Disney, park hopping. I'm thinking late April will be a good time, after the Easter and Spring Break craziness has subsided and before the summer heat/rain start in earnest.

I just really feel guilty. I have never done things alone. My husband will go off for a weekend, camping and riding his 4-wheeler in the mountains with friends I don't even know. And yet, I just feel guilty leaving not only him but my 2 kids home and doing something fun just for me. It won't cost much money from our budget: she will send the gas money for the trip and I can stay at her house for free, she coupons so will provide me with plenty of food, I have Disney gift cards that I have earned doing Swagbucks and other rewards programs for my tickets, and I even have some fast food gift cards for the road trip.

Hubby and I have been together for over 19 years, our 14th wedding anniversary is coming up, and our kids are almost 8 & 11. The only time before I've done anything alone in all that time was when I flew to visit a friend in another state for a weekend. Her husband worked for the airline, so roundtrip tickets cost $25, and my son was almost 2 and stayed home with his daddy. I would have taken him, but my husband didn't want him on an airplane that you. I was gone 3 nights total. Other than that, I've never left my boyfriend/husband back, let alone my kids.

Convince me that it's ok to take a solo trip once in a while.

I understand where you are coming from. I am not going to give you the "you deserve this" speech or the "it isn't costing you very much" position simply because I do not know you, your family or your finances, but I will tell you as a wife to a wife that we should enjoy ourselves when our husbands are making it possible or suggesting that we do something for ourselves.

I will share with you what my husband said to me when we found out my sister would not be going with me because she has a 'bun in the oven'. I told him I feel guilty going to Disney for 9 days by myself even though he and my daughter do not have any interest in going. He said to me in almost these exact words, "Sweetheart, you take care of me and our daughter. You work hard at your job and you work hard to take care of our home. I don't want to go and neither does our daughter. There is no reason you should not go and enjoy yourself. We will be fine and you will be fine. Plan your trip." In general, I think many good husbands see that about their wives. They may not say it as often as we would like, but the sentiment and appreciation is there. If your husband wants you to go enjoy yourself and has no issues with you being gone for a few days, you certainly should take him up on his willingness for you to be away.

 

[kiford]

Convince me that it's ok to take a solo trip once in a while.

Personally, I'm having problems trying to figure out why you think it's not OK. It's not creating any hardship, financial worries, children left on their own without supervision, denying others the same fun (since they aren't interested). This way, you get the experience you want, you aren't bugging the rest of the family to come when they don't want to, and they aren't making you unhappy because they don't want to be there if you did convince them to come. Nothing you've said in your original post that would indicate any reason why it wouldn't be a fantastic idea that will make everyone happy.

Don't forget to pack your bathing suit and sunscreen.