"Fear" of eating out alone...

[DisneyGirl]

Hi guys!

I'm wondering if you can help me out with something-- I am a single woman, and I've traveled a lot by myself, both for work, and for pleasure-- I've been overseas by myself, and I've been to Disney about 3-4 times by myself. I have no problem traveling and being by myself, EXCEPT-- I just can't seem to feel comfortable eating at a restaurant where there is a server...does that make any sense at all??!!??

It just seems like the only way I can feel comfortable is if I can eat as I walk to somewhere else, or if I bring food back to my room/ office (if traveling for work), and eat alone that way. I know nobody cares that I'm eating by myself, so it's just this weird hangup that I have!!??!!

Anwyays, I *really* want to be able to try all kinds of different restaurants (not to mention the fact that sit down restaurants are much healthier!!)

So, I'll be at Disneyland this weekend, and I made a reservation for Napa Rose (in the Grand Californian)... does anyone have any suggestions to help me not feel "stupid"????

Thanks!!!

 

[jonestavern]

I used to feel this way. I worked odd hours & 2 jobs, was picky when it came to dates or just plain old wasn't interested in the men around. I really longed to try different restaurants--finally I just did it

Bring a paperback book (or straighten out your small dayplanner), that is the key! You'll need somewhere to put your eyes if you're not in conversation. Start out on a less busy day or evening & at off peak dining hours.
Begin with baby steps

If the host/hostess sticks you at a bogus table--by the lavs or on a busy service aisle, etc, simply smile & firmly state your preference for whichever table or booth you'd prefer. Having worked both front & back of the house, I can tell you there is often (though not always) a method to seating in play.

Be sure to see your server fills requests just as he/she would if you were a party on an expense account. Tip generously, if you've received good service.
Perhaps, if the experience is satisfactory, you might want to build confidence by trying the same restaurant again.

Bon appetit! Once you figure it out, you'll wonder why you ever hesitated!

Jean

 

[Donald is #1]

I agree with jonestavern. I eat out by myself fairly often, usually at least once per week. The trick for me is to bring reading material: newspaper, book, magazine. I find that I need to read for 2 reasons:
1) It gives me someplace to look instead of continously looking around the room
2) It helps me eat a little slower. Otherwise when I get by myself I eat very quickly.

When I first started eating out by myself, about 15-20 years ago, I found that the service did not seem as good as with a group. However, these days, I never have a problem with service because I am by myself.

So bring something to read (even your park map) and enjoy yourself!

 

[Terk-1]

I've been to WDW 4 times solo (with the 5th coming up later this year). As I love to read, I always have a book with me. I find that it takes away any awkwardness of dining alone. I'll still enjoy the ambience of the restaurant and the service, but by having a book, it breaks up the time waiting for my meal, etc. I also find it comes in handy waiting for a show or parade to start. Also, you can bring a small pad and pencil and write your trip reports while you are waiting too.

 

[BunsenH]

Try a restaurant with a display kitchen and counter seats like the Flying Fish. You can be entertained and chat with the cooking staff about your dinner.

 

[Fitswimmer]

I just spent 4 days solo at DVC Hilton Head and ate all my meals alone. I used the book trick and it worked great! I've never done a solo trip before and I LOVED it. I can't wait to do it again! I did what I wanted, ate when I felt like it and ate where I wanted. Call me selfish, but it was a lot of fun!

 

[spiceycat]

the book works.

but I enjoy watching the families - especially children. they can be so much fun!!!

I have had little one before ask me where the other people were.... they look so upset when I explain I was solo....

kids (especially when they aren't yours) are good entertainment.

 

[debbiepump]

How come eating alone doesn't seem to bother guys? I always wonder that.

 

[lovesmurfs]

How come eating alone doesn't seem to bother guys? I always wonder that.

I think it's because guys are task oriented. They're there to eat. Period. They don't need to focus on 3-4 things at a time like women do. We multi-task and feel weird only doing one thing at a time.

 

[mecllap]

Just know that's it's perfectly okay to be eating by yourself -- we all have to eat! Don't worry that the server is going to be worried about getting a smaller tip from the table -- she/he won't be doing as much work. Tip 15-20 percent, depending on quality of your experience (so it won't reflect badly on other women dining alone).
If you are going to want to read or look at something, ask for a table that has some lighting that will be enough for you. I often take something to read or look at, or a journal to write in, but just people-watching, relaxing and letting your mind wander, or thinking about something you need to think or plan about, can also be good.
One thing I've noticed is that a lot of people may be sitting at a table with someone else there, but there is no interaction between them, or even worse, they are arguing or clearly not having a good time together. That's less likely at Disney, tho.
Treat yourself, be confident, and enjoy your meal! (Another nice thing about eating alone, is you don't have to impress anyone with what you do or don't order -- you can have dessert first, or have two!).

 

[grumpy.uncle]

Hi guys!

I'm wondering if you can help me out with something-- I am a single woman, and I've traveled a lot by myself, both for work, and for pleasure-- I've been overseas by myself, and I've been to Disney about 3-4 times by myself. I have no problem traveling and being by myself, EXCEPT-- I just can't seem to feel comfortable eating at a restaurant where there is a server...does that make any sense at all??!!??

It just seems like the only way I can feel comfortable is if I can eat as I walk to somewhere else, or if I bring food back to my room/ office (if traveling for work), and eat alone that way. I know nobody cares that I'm eating by myself, so it's just this weird hangup that I have!!??!!

Anwyays, I *really* want to be able to try all kinds of different restaurants (not to mention the fact that sit down restaurants are much healthier!!)

So, I'll be at Disneyland this weekend, and I made a reservation for Napa Rose (in the Grand Californian)... does anyone have any suggestions to help me not feel "stupid"????

Thanks!!!

I have been single for years and I decided years ago that if I wanted to be entertained, I would have to take some action myself. Consequently, I started by going out to meals. I love to read so I always make sure that I have some sort of reading material w/ me. Many times restaurants have local entertainment or dining guides in their recetion area, so you can grab one of those if you don't have a book w/ you. If you are on vacation, carry around your address book and a few postcards and jot your greetings on those between courses. Or carry around a blank journal, and fill in an entry while enjoying your meal. You might even write down what you are eating for a future trip report. I've even gotten in the habit of going to movies on my own. I love to go to a matinee on a rainy day and see an arthouse movie that none of my friends or family care to see, but I'm dying to. Sometimes it's great being able to do what you want, when you want, without anyone else's input. You may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it becomes easier the more you do it. If you get great service, be sure to tip generously. Then return to that same restaurant and request the same server. After awhile you will find that you get special service and often a good server will spend extra time chatting w/ you. Bon appetit!

 

[beequeen]

I have been a widow for over 8 years now. At first, I would rather starve than eat out alone. Now, I too carry a book where ever I go. It's hard the first few times, but keep trying. It will get easier. The self confidence will carry over to other things. YOU CAN DO IT !

 

[Tikitoi]

Yep, reading material is always my best friend when I am dining alone! Especially at Disney, the park brochures or even one of the books about Disney is great! Have a nice time!

 

[aprilshugah]

i travel all day for work and have gotten tired of eating fast food- so i started eating alone and was very embarrased in the beginning. But what really made me try it with an open mind was my fiance. he eats alone constantly. So I brought some work and some books...now it's hard to not get excited--esp. when I'm at a good part in one of my books...good luck --you'll be great

 

[maine_jennifer]

One thing I recommend is starting out small. Eating at the food court at the mall. Going to a cafe. Those types of things in your own home town. At WDW, I don't like to stick my nose in a book (even though I am a BIG TIME reader) because I find that I miss out on conversations with people. Instead, I study my maps, check my digital camera and look around from time to time. At many table service locations, the tables are close enough that I've had couples strike up a conversation with me often, when I look approachable. Plus, my servers seem to be more open to chatting if they see something they can strike up a conversation about.

But like another poster said - we all have to eat. Don't worry about it.

 

[disneyfansmandl]

Hello,

If you are going to Napa Rose, ask to be seated at the display kitchen bar. You won't feel funny sitting there and the service is great.

 

[i<3Disney]

I definitely think the key here is confidence. If you look and feel confident, it'll show and make you look and feel more comfortable.

 

[NJGuy3]

Disneygirl, I know exactly how you feel. I will probably be doing a solo trip to WDW next year and as a single guy, my only concern is eating out alone too. But I do like soem of the ideas of reading some literature or just striking up conversation with people sitting nearby.
And yes, I would agree that confidence is the key factor here.

 

[DisneydaveCT]

How come eating alone doesn't seem to bother guys? I always wonder that.

Debbie, I don't think it is necessarily easier for us guys, just more socially acceptable. One of the things that I do when I am eating alone is to often hit the pubs that have food service at the bar. That way it is easier to strike up a conversation with somone.

And now that I have discovered this board, it is easier to post my travel plans to hook up with other solos for conversations at meal...and who know maybe a nice romantic evening in the parks.

 

[UrsulasShadow]

In many places I, too, will eat at the bar. There is usually a TV to watch, and it's easy to strike up a conversation with the bartender, which many times snowballs into a general conversation amongst many bar patrons.
In places with no counter or bar, though, I try to get a window seat, so I can enjoy looking up without anyone thinking I'm staring at them. I won't be carrying a book around WDW, as I hate to carry anything in the parks, but I might have a map and an itinerary folded in a pocket somewhere. If I think to bring a pen I can make amendments to the evening's or following day's plans as I dine.