Favorite Lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

[TheGoofster]

Monty P's HG is one of those movies that you either completely and totaly love, or you just can't stand it. I fall into the first category, and my wife falls into the second .
Anyway, for those of us who do love this movie, we realize that fewer movies offer more favorite lines than this classic.

So let me start by offering some of my favorites:

"It's Just a flesh wound, I've had worse - You Liar!"

"...what is your favorite Color? - Blue, no Red...Aaaahhhh"

"What's it going to do, nibble by buns"

"I soiled my armor"

"Now you, Sir Gwaine, Sir Lancelot and I will jump out of the rabbit, and attack the enemy by surprise - We what? You twit."

 

[londonpenguin]

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

 

[sajetto]

She turned me into a newt!!!.....I got better

 

[Polyfor30th]

"Let's not quibble over ewww killed ewww"

To be read with a thick scottish accent.

 

[PeterPanette]

Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

 

[Apothecary]

Oh, sooooooo many, but this is amongst my favourites:

King Arthur: I am your king.

Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

Woman: Well how'd you become king then?

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.


But any quote from this movie will have me

 

[Polyfor30th]

God: "Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...

 

[Apothecary]

Monty P's HG is one of those movies that you either completely and totaly love, or you just can't stand it. I fall into the first category, and my wife falls into the second .


Same in our house

 

[Debbie7452]

I have the DVD and showed it to my 8yo DS (tactfully skipping certain age unappropriate parts) and he thought it was HILARIOUS...I was so happy

My quote might not be perfect...

"We are the knights who say.....Nee! Bring us a shrubbery!!"

My kids are use to hearing me spout off Holy Grail quotes at random unrelated moments...they don't even blink anymore.

Here's another

"What is your name? What is your quest? What is the air speed velocity of an unladen sparrow?"

 

[TheGoofster]

"Bring out your dead, Bring out your dead...but I'm not dead...BAM"

"Message Sir" (Says Lancelots squire with an arrow sticking out of his chest)

"I'm not a witch...but you LOOK like a witch..." (that whole weighing the witch scene kills me every time)

 

[Polyfor30th]

Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can

Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on

Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?

Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.

Bwaaahaaaaaa, hehe, <ahem>
This is a great thread Brings back those college days when we would throw these quotes around all the time.

 

[MomofKatie]

"On second thought, let's not go to Camelot- it is a very silly place."

"You must chop down the largest tree in the forest with.... A HERRING!!"

"Huge... tracts of land"

"RUN AWAY!!!"

"What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color?"

"They call me... TIM."

"Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system!! Help! I'm being repressed!"

 

[MomofKatie]

"You killed the father of the bride!"
"Sorry, sorry about that, terribly sorry- I just get carried away!"

"Let's not argue and bicker over "oo killed "oo- this is supposed to be a HAPPY occasion!"

 

[TinkerTracy]

LOVE THIS MOVIE!
"Are you suggesting coconuts MIGRATE?"
Dennis: Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

King of Swamp Castle: One day, lad, all this will be yours.
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains?
King of Swamp Castle: No, not the curtains, lad, all that you can see stretched out over the valleys and the hills! That'll be your kingdom, lad.

Black Knight: Right, I'll do you for that!
King Arthur: You'll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I'm invincible!
King Arthur: ...You're a loony.


Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!


Ah just a few of my favoites
I also love the people who walk around hitting their heads with the holy plank things...LOVE IT

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

My all time favorite is the line that is in my tag

But I also love "One day all of this will be yours." "What, the curtains?"

"I am French! That is why I have this outrageous accent!"

"Now go away before I taunt you a second time!"

"I am your king"..."Well I didn't vote for you."


Oh man...so many good quotes from that movie. I love it!

 

[luvflorida]

I love the whole guard bit!

Father: Make sure the Prince doesn't leave the room until I come and get him.

Guard#1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.

Father: No, no. UNTIL I come and get him.

Guard#1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.

Father: No, no. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.

Gaurd#1: And you'll come and get him.

Father: Right.

Guard#1: We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.

Father: No, no. Leaving the room.

It just keeps getting funnier and funnier. I love it when the guard asks: Uh, can he leave the room with us?

Love this movie. My kids got me hooked on it. We saw Spamalot in NYC last August and we're going to see it again in December. It's a riot!

 

[Sandy51]

You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.



Love this movie!



Sandy

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

But I also love "One day all of this will be yours." "What, the curtains?"

This is my very favorite, gets me everytime!

 

[apirateslifeforme]

"'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

"'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."