It is a good thing that you aren't a member of my family! Farts are considered funny by some in my family. Sit out around the campfire, have a few beers, have corn on the cob with dinner, maybe mix in a few toasted marshmallows. That will create a full intestine for sure! My brothers have been known to have contests.
I am glad to hear that you are tight enough to hold in a fart indefinitely. I am not. My "etiquette" is to make sure no one is looking! Especially in the grocery store. I used to be able to blame my daughter but now she is old enough to defend herself. I take metformin for diabetes and it is notorious for creating gas!
I had forgotten how hilarious this thread was! But before anyone thinks that everyone in my family is a farter, my best friend and adopted sister spent a year in Iraq with bad water. She often hands out the immortal advice she learned there "Never trust a fart". That came directly from the US military so it must be right! Her rule is that if possible she will only fart when sitting on the toilet with her pants down because sometimes surprises come out!
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