Farting Etiquette

You mean there are those who don't? I thought that was one of the perks of being married, you don't have to hold it in in front of each other any more?!?!?!

When I was much younger, and single, one of the guys I worked with told me that you're not really married until you've farted in front of each other. :confused:

If we're in public, DH will let a sbd (silent but deadly) fly, look at me, shake his head and walk away as if *I* was the culprit. :confused3

He tried this on his 5 year old niece this past Christmas, but she wasn't buying his act. She just announces to everyone present, "Uncle just farted, and it really stinks!" DH turned beet red! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 

I'm really hoping the corn came from your tray!

Yes thankfully the corn was from my tray and not the cafeteria ladys colon. You just gotta love us medical people. LOL. A patient farts on me no problem, the cafeteria lady farts on me I drop my tray and look like a complete idiot.
 
This has to be the funniest thread in a long while. I live in a house of men and boys and thought what went on around here HAD to be as bad as it gets. Then I read this thread and boy do they have much to learn!! Not that I will share any of this with them, nuh uh no way.:sad2: :lmao:
 
Squeekers and fluff do not belong together when farting is the topic......:rotfl:


Like you never get the squeekers..... :rotfl:

Now that the day is past, i can safely admit the yesterday I had the squeekers so bad. I was walking around and providing my own musical theme song in the chord of F flat. Every time I took a step, there was *fluff*. It was wretched. I was thankful that my patients at the hsopital last night were already unconcious because honestly.... I seriously insulted peoples sense of smell. It should have been considered assault with a deadly weapon.

Even my cat wouldn't come near me when I got home. Now that is bad cause he can tolerate his litter box but steered clear of me all morning. Rejected by my own kitty. :rotfl:
 
Anyone ever tooted in a empty coke bottle and capped it quickly and then handed it to someone to open. Its nasty.:scared1:

Stink hand used to be popular in college. Fart into cupped hand and then place still cupped hand over someones nose from behind! :lmao:

:scared1: :scared1: :scared1:


(I can't believe I never thought of this)
 
Like you never get the squeekers..... :rotfl:

Now that the day is past, i can safely admit the yesterday I had the squeekers so bad. I was walking around and providing my own musical theme song in the chord of F flat. Every time I took a step, there was *fluff*. It was wretched. I was thankful that my patients at the hsopital last night were already unconcious because honestly.... I seriously insulted peoples sense of smell. It should have been considered assault with a deadly weapon.

Even my cat wouldn't come near me when I got home. Now that is bad cause he can tolerate his litter box but steered clear of me all morning. Rejected by my own kitty. :rotfl:

Now its perfectly clear why they were all unconscious!:lmao:
 
This has to be the funniest thread in a long while. I live in a house of men and boys and thought what went on around here HAD to be as bad as it gets. Then I read this thread and boy do they have much to learn!! Not that I will share any of this with them, nuh uh no way.:sad2: :lmao:

chicken! ;)
 
Here is a new name for a fart,,,, My nephews call it letting the dogs out....:rotfl: :rotfl2:



I dated a guy once who loved to light his farts. he and a buddy of his would take turns seeing who had the biggest flame.:scared1:

And now my hubby will just let em rip and the kids will just shreak!:eek:
 
I don't really have anything to add other than that my two dogs have been killing me with SBDs all week. Holy moly.

I'm still waiting to fart in front of DFi. I just can't seem to do it yet...much as I want to, to just get it over with! The first one is the worst!
 
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LAUGHS!!! I come from a family of farters (3 brothers) and my mom hates the word fart. She has taught my son to say....expell some flatus!!! So he(6) goes around announcing when he expells some flaus!!! My DH is not from a family of farters but burpers. So he thinks we are all gross!!! We all just laugh when my dad "accidentally" lets one loose!!! And his are never SBD's but loud and proud!!!! My mom does the SBD's in the isles of stores but never warns you...you just wonder thru!!!! Kills us all!!!
 

Oh yeah chicken fits. But a very smart chicken.:laughing:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LAUGHS!!! I come from a family of farters (3 brothers) and my mom hates the word fart. She has taught my son to say....expell some flatus!!! So he(6) goes around announcing when he expells some flaus!!! My DH is not from a family of farters but burpers. So he thinks we are all gross!!! We all just laugh when my dad "accidentally" lets one loose!!! And his are never SBD's but loud and proud!!!! My mom does the SBD's in the isles of stores but never warns you...you just wonder thru!!!! Kills us all!!!

I come from all girls and apparently according to my mother we do not fart! We probably just spontaneously combust. She calls it passing gas. Passing gas lasted all of one minute when she tried the term with my husband and kids. I think they're still laughing at her all these years later. Needless to say she is teased something awful by all of us.
 
Just a question that has been nagging at me since the inception of this thread......

Can "farting" and "etiquette" even legitimately be used in the same sentence? :rotfl2: :rotfl: :lmao:

Not unless you've gone out into the woods about fifty yards thataway and behind many trees! That's etiquette. Other than that 'Nuisance' is the real word.:lmao: (says the mom of a 14 yr old boy) lol
Kim
 
UGH...My youngest was a squeeker all day yesterday. He said, I dont know why Im farting so much mom.

I about died laughing as I thought of this thread.
 





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