Family trip planning help needed

[pyrxtc]

I am planning our vacation to the world for next October. I have invited my two sisters along to enjoy the fun with my children on their 1st visit. One sister will come from AZ with or w/o her boyfriend and the other is possibly coming, she is from MA and will bring her boyfriend too. Each can only come for part of the week due to work and college and I am trying to figure out wether it would be more fun for all in the beginning of the week or the end.

We will be there from Sunday to Saturday. We will not be doing a park on either of these days. Our itinerary looks like this
Sun - MNSSHP, Mon - MGM. Tue - AK, Wed - MK, Thur - Epcot, Fri - still open

Now the dilema, My MIL has decided that she wants to come down too. DH told her OK. Now I am trying to get my sisters to decide when they are coming so I can tell MIL to come the other part of the week. Some family time would have been nice but another helping hand for our four kids will be nice too. My sisters most likely will not make up their minds til next summer about when they are coming. Since we invited them, I do not want to say you will have to come these days cuz MIL will be there the other days.
Also one BIG problem with MIL is that she plays favorites big time. My DSD who will be 11 on the trip is taken many places now by MIL and just her. Our other 3 kids get nothing. I'm not greedy but I think all or nothing when it comes to getting things for the kids. You can't buy one something but not the others. I don't want to fight with her or DH on vacation. If I make a stink about this problem while on vaca then my DH will get mad., but I'm not one to bite my tongue. MIL is going to want to take the 11 yr old in the park alone and I will say no since it's a family vaca.

Would this be a big deal to you? Would you let your DMIL or DM spoil one kid and ignore the others? I say He** NO bt my DH says we can't force her. I say we can stop her though! What would you do about this whole dilemma?

Thanks!!

 

[Tarzan]

Since it is your family vacation you are well within your rights to keep all the children together and not allow MIL to take her fave for the day. Explain to DH that, although you do not approve of having favourites, you tolerate it at home. You will not allow it during vacation though as the children should enjoy it together. With any luck she will enjoy spending time with the other children whilst at WDW and the favouritism will cease when you all return home

 

[swilshire]

You didn't mention the age of the other kids, but it might be that splitting up would be a good thing. We always send DD18, DS16 and DS10 off to do things while my husband I entertain DS5. Hopefully the MIL won't be too obvious with the favoritism, but there's not a lot you can do if she is that won't create more trouble.

If she buys something for the one child, maybe you can match with something similar for the others if they are old enough to care. If they are little, it may be that it bothers you much more than it does them.

JMHO.

Sheila

 

[VAN]

I think you should choose an appropriate time well in advance of the vacation (the sooner the better) to have a discussion with her about -- you can't help but notice that she tends to do more with your one child .... and while this is your choice, the other children can't help but notice and feel that you don't love them. Say that you realize she may not know that she is doing this and that it is completely unintentional but it hurts the other children all the same.

She may need some time to digest this so wait until she has a a chance to think about it (she may be defensive at first so don't pin her in a corner and force her to respond).

When you do discuss the trip (you may want to do this a month or so after the first discussion), I would say something to the effect that since this is a family vacation, you will all be doing things together. I know that you like spending time with _____, however, this is a chance for the other children to get to know you better and to experience some of the rides with you as well.

As a side note - whenever I travel with people (including my own family), I always talk about my expectations and ask for their expectations of the trip. If we have a friend along, I try to outline our family's routine and if there was something in particular that they wanted to be sure we did.

If she puts up a stink about your expectations, just respond that it is completely her choice as to whether or not she still wants to join you - that you just wanted to give her a heads-up about what to expect prior to making too many of the arrangements.

The sooner you have this discussion about favoritism (especially with the holidays coming up), the better. At least you will feel better!!