Family Traditions.

[BRDof3]

The Christmas I was 16, my Dad sat me down and said "So I hear ya like, beer, kid. Well, you and I are gonna sit here and drink beer until we can't drink no more. That'll teach ya to drink." I haven't stopped since. Thanks, Dad. Maybe this year I'll try drinking it through a peppermint stick. Thanks, Frank.

Happy Thanksgiving Jim!

 

[ntsammy5]

We've done this for years and years, on the night before Christmas we................... what the heck do we do? I forget.......

 

[BRDof3]

We've done this for years and years, on the night before Christmas we................... what the heck do we do? I forget.......

 

[Born 2 Fish]

We've done this for years and years, on the night before Christmas we................... what the heck do we do? I forget.......

What a coincidence,, we useta do the exact same thing !

 

[BigDaddyRog]

You people are insane!!! Merry Christmas Folks!!!

 

[Born 2 Fish]

Christmas

Santa's Bad Day
The Birth of a Tradition

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

 

[Just Beachy]

 

[m1tchells]

Way too funny!

 

[Born 2 Fish]

When I was a kid we would open gifts on Christmas Eve. And do you know why ?? Because Santa always started his delievery route at our house every year so we didnt havta wait til morning !!
Thats what my moma told me ,, you dont spose moma woulda lied do ya ?

 

[ftwildernessguy]

We always celebrated Christmas the week after because Santa got better deals on all the returned stuff at the stores.

 

[ntsammy5]

We generally celebrate Festivus - the Festivus Pole is going up this weekend

 

[ftwildernessguy]

We generally celebrate Festivus - the Festivus Pole is going up this weekend

"Festivus for the rest of us!"

My favorite is the Airing of Grievances.

 

[2goofycampers]

My favorite is the Airing of Grievances.

I do that 365 days a year.

 

[Born 2 Fish]

Festivus pole ,,is that the same kinda pole that strippers use ???

 

[ntsammy5]

Gee, Rog should be able to answer that one!

 

[Born 2 Fish]

Dec.25, 8:AM, while still in our jammies, we ride our buggy to the neighbors house, and open gifts.

 

[des1954]

Ohhhhh....how I miss the annual "Christmas Tree Fight"!! The day Mom & Dad decided it was time to go get a tree. The fight would begin before we had our coats on.

Mom: Al, please don't be a cheap ba##ard this year.

Dad: Shut the h3ll up, Nancy and get in the car. Do you want a tree, or not?

(On the way to the cheap lot)

Mom: You always have to ruin Christmas, don't you, you cheap ba##ard!! You can't even spring to buy a decent tree.

Dad: Shut the h3ll up, Nancy.

(Little Al, Bruce, and Debbie from back seat)

Kids All together: Dad's a cheap ba##ard! Dad's a cheap ba##ard!!

Dad: You kids better shut the h3ll up or I'm going to give you something to cry about.

(Fast forward to tree being selected and heading back home)

Mom: Al, look at that damn tree! You could drive a f***in' truck through the holes in it! You cheap ba##ard!!

Dad: Shut the h3ll up, Nancy, or I'll drive a f***in' truck through you!!!

Kids: Dad's a cheap ba##ard! Dad's a cheap ba##ard!!

(Tree is home, hung from an I-beam in the basement for the tree branches to mysteriously fall into place and fill in the holes)

Dad to Little Al: Go get the G.D. hand saw!!! I'll cut some branches and wire them in the holey spaces to fill this little s**t out.

Little Al: Okay, dad, but you know you're going to end up going to the nursery and buying the blue spruce mom wanted in the first place.

Dad: Shut the h3ll up before you get the back of my hand across your fizzog!!

(Fast forward 3 hours and a case of beer later)

Mom: Al, Bruce, Debbie!! Get in the car, NOW!!! Your dad finally passed out & the nursery closes in an hour!

Ah.....the memories of a fine, fond, family tradition! How I miss them!!

 

[ntsammy5]

Gee, that's the way I remember it too!

 

[des1954]

Gee, that's the way I remember it too!

Remember the year the turkey flew across the kitchen? That's the year I believe we ended up at Lakeview Smorgasbord. Oh, what fun memories! You don't have PTSS from your time in 'Nam, you have it because of Dad!! Pfffffft!! In looking back, it's no wonder mom resorted to alcohol!

 

[DaveInTN]

That's the year I believe we ended up at Lakeview Smorgasbord.

Ah, Lakeview Smorgasbord. That's the first place I ever remember encountering "all you can eat". I think we all remember our first buffet. It's hard to remember a time in America when stuffing oneself with regularity wasn't a way of life.