daystar said:
With the money issue i made the trip affordable for them...We were going to rent a house and split it three ways..Drive down so it would be cheaper..We even planned to go in Feb, even though i would love to go back in Dec for Christmas...I always asked before making these plans..He has a good job and she has a good part time job so i know that they live well off with her purchasings...I don't think it's the money because just recently we had a family barbeque at my mom's and he didn't show because he was having issues..That is just from being around family..He's on some type of med now, he just started i think a week ago..Maybe in time the meds will kick in and things will workout..Thanks for all your replies
I wonder about these cause I made a family trip fall apart, and part of it was money, but to my family, the whole thing was out of the blue and they were quite confused.
We have a good income, but I have my own priorities for my income. I didn't enjoy my brother in law deciding how I was going to spend my money on this vacation.
Even my husband and I, who share the same bank accounts and have constant access to our financial information, disagree often on what we can and cannot afford. I can't imagine how my sister or brother in law could make these judgements about what we can and can't afford. And even then, how they feel they are entitled to judge what we should choose to afford.
And it isn't just spending money - its spending time. I have limited vacation time, as does my husband. We schedule vacations around kids school, my work and his work. Just our nuclear family makes vacation planning tough. Now I have my extended family picking weeks we can't go and telling me we need to "make it work." Nope.
And spending time in a fashon I want to spend it in. We'd originally made some plans I could live with during a time we could go - then my family decided they'd rather cruise. And they wanted (none of them at the time had kids) to cruise on a less than completely kid friendly line.
Then there is the in-law factor. I enjoy my in-laws, and I'm fortunate enough that my husband enjoys my family. But spending a week his brother's ex-wife would have been torture. And spending time with my sister's ex-boyfriend - yech! Even a week in the same house with my father in law - a pleasant enough man in eight hour increments - would drive me batty. We went to Mexico last year with friends and spent a lot of time deciding if we should invite other couples - finally deciding not to bother because finding a third couple both of us would want to travel with was too hard.
Add to that some anxiety disorder (I 've been on Paxil), and a vacation destination that has crowds (I avoid Disney with crowds, myself).
I wouldn't print out a thread about his panic disorder. That's really insensitive. Its his disorder. Telling him my experiences would be useless since they are unique to me (I wouldn't have done Disney even when on Paxil when I was ill, now I'm healthy, off meds, but do Disney in a fashion to avoid crowds as much as possible and stress) and his experiences will be unique to him. And the fact that you are telling a bunch of strangers about the condition of his mental health strikes me as a good way to make him angry (and for good reason).
I also think that if he is newly medicated, its poor form for his wife to leave him for a vacation right now. He is ill. Its like saying "you don't have the energy for Disney on chemo, so we are going without you." And before anyone says "its anxiety disorder, not cancer" - mental illness kills.
Your sister and DN will have a great time!!!!
