Facebook "Friend" Request Refused

[robinb]

Go to your Account/Privacy/ and then select Custom. Then for each category select Custom. From there you can either set each thing to be viewed by only specific people, or to Hide it from specific people, whichever one is easiest. The easiest thing is to set up your friends into "Lists" and put all the ones you want to keep from seeing your stuff into one group. Then you can actually just customize to hide things from that entire list.

That is what I did with all the strangers I added so I could play Farmville. However, they have to see my wall because of the FV posts. If I post something I don't want them to see I exclude them from that particular post.

 

[krcit]

I've ignored a few friends requests. One was from a mom up at school that is pretty much a snot and barely says hi to me in person. Why would I accept her and better yet, why would she request me? Weird. I also deleted a couple of people once before I knew you could just hide their posts. They were posting really nasty things about cops and well, since my DH is a cop and they know that, I took it a bit to personally. I usually have a thicker skin than that but it was getting me really mad to read their crap everyday so I deleted them.

 

[bumbershoot]

Thanks for such an easy explanation! I did it! My only concern is that people can see what "list" they are on. I ended up labeling my list "high school" and putting most of my high school friends (all the ones that I thought "why on earth are they friending me?") on it.

Can you label your lists without the label being visible? I doubt any of those people are going to go looking at my friend list and wonder why my closer friends from school aren't labeled 'high school,' but you never know!

I don't think that others can see your lists, that they are entirely private.

One of my FB friends is a friend from HS, and she works for FB. I'll ask her.

 

[Nomi]

Some people only use facebook for very close current friends, only for family, or even only for work. I have ignored some people if I did not know them in real life beyond attending the same school.

 

[HelenePA]

if you put your friends on a list they can not see they are on a list.. I have 2 of my kids on a list.. I go on their page and nothing shows up as being on a list.

 

[EMom]

DSis wasn't unpopular in school, but she was the sort who had a circle of 4-5 really good friends and was well-liked by the rest of her class. Kind of kept to herself and her small group. I had my best friends, but was much more outgoing......MUCH more outgoing.

She set up a FB account and wanted to keep it small, no big surprise. A cousin send a friend request. We come from a county in which both sides of our family go back 100-150 years. We have squillions of cousins. After a few decades of marriage, when we go back to visit, DH is STILL meeting cousins he's never met before. Anyway, DSis thought it best to accept the request since Cousin was always nice enough and you hate to reject a cousin in the South. (FB request, not marriage proposal... ) Next thing you know, a lot of people who must have been on Cousin's friend list start requesting her as a friend or however you phrase it.

She told me she didn't even run with these people in HS, so why on earth would they want to be her friend now? I think she has just ignored them, rather than reject them. She's too private to let just anyone on her list.

I've never even joined FB. First, I hate them because DH's work used to be tied to them and they kept him overworked.....Yes, it was personal. Second, I told DSis I'm half afraid that all those people I was "friends" with back in HS would come out of the woodwork and then I'd be in the same pickle as she. Reject, accept or ignore? Not long ago, my boyfriend from when I was 13 tried tracking me down through relatives and freaked them out. (They did not give him my number.) Why on earth did he want to find me decades later? He has to know I'm probably married and I know for a fact he married at some point. Heck, I think he had 6 kids. Even if I was available, I'd run from a man with 6 kids. And I had a stalker in college. I still look over my shoulder for him. So I'm afraid that if I got on FB and friended too many people, who then friended someone else, that a reasonably motivated person could find me when I didn't want to be found.

Therefore, if I ever joined FB, like my DSis, I'd limit my friends to a small group. Maybe that's it. Maybe over the years, this person has had reason to become private. Pics get posted on facebook and have a way of getting out. That worries some people. It could be all sorts of things. If this individual is nice to you in person, I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[disykat]

if you put your friends on a list they can not see they are on a list.. I have 2 of my kids on a list.. I go on their page and nothing shows up as being on a list.

Oh good - so the 'high school' I see after their name on MY list doesn't show up on theirs? And here I was trying to be so politically correct so no one would feel slighted!

 

[bumbershoot]

I think she has just ignored them, rather than reject them.

The only choices are "accept" and "ignore". Just so ya know. And if you ignore, emails are not sent to the person...

 

[richmond282]

Very good policy. Our kids are "friends" with the band directors because they use their pages to get information out to the kids that way but other than that they aren't "friends" with any teachers.

This is funny b/c I AM a band director, but we have a seperate FB page for the band so we just post info there.

Or maybe you should be flattered? Most teachers I had growing up I wouldn't have wanted to be FB friends (had there been FB) outside of school. But the cool ones, the ones I really liked I would have gone out of my way to friend request.

I am flattered. I just think it's funny that it seems like a rite of passage for them to "friend" me on FB. I'm sure it doesn't take them long to figure out how boring I am!

 

[DisneyJen0504]

I ignore friend requests of people I am not really friends with. For me, facebook is a way to keep in touch with family and real friends. I can post updated pics and such. I have little desire to have people I haven't kept in touch with in 10 years know my personal business.
So to answer your question the odds are slim I would even be requesting someone as a friend who would ignore me since I am only "friends" with people I associate with all the time.

 

[jrnunzio3]

Yes, my nephew (he states he didn't recognize my name) .

 

[amberg@eastlink.ca]

i've had people ignore my requests. i've also had friends take me off their list and then ive noticed, requested them and the next day they denied my request. one was a mom i spoke with quite frequently over the years. i was stunned.

more annoying, a guider who i worked with, added me 2 months ago while i was at disney. i accepted, last week i noticed she deleted me. i can get over being deleted, but hello, if you choose to add me and then remove me 2 months later, i dont get that one! why bother!

 

[tinkerfan1]

Yes, one of my best friends, with whom I have even traveled with, has just ignored my requests. She doesn't use FB much, from what I understand but still.... I KNOW she has accepted other people. It's ok, though. I'm sure there is a reason and we're still close. FB is just something we don't share and that is ok.

 

[TheRatPack]

I deny anyone I don't see on a regular basis. I have photos of my kids, discuss vacations...etc on my FB and don't want anyone that I don't know reading things like that or checking out my kids. People I went to highschool with, haven't talked to in over 20 years and then they friend you....ummmm, no thanks And I deny all friend request from males that aren't family or friends with both my husband and me.....just limits we feel comfortable with. I also don't usually accept friend request from people who have drastically different views on stuff....I don't like conflict and so I don't put myself in that position.

And yes, I have been denied....by a homeschool friend who chats with me when we're at functions and is friends with every other homeschooler I am in the 'group'....but just denied me....??? Oh well?

 

[bumbershoot]

My FB-employee-HS-friend verified what HelenePA said. Lists are entirely private.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm not involved in Facebook, but it could be something as simple as she writes things there that she prefers you not read.. I wouldn't take it personally..

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

My rule of thumb for FB is that if you're not close enough to me that I'd invite you to my wedding, then I won't friend you on FB. My DH's grandma LOVES FB and eagerly checks for updates each day, so I post something a couple of times a day about what my kids are doing or what we're making for dinner. She loves it. All my FB friends know why I make such frequent updates, I'd be pretty embarrassed to be that narcissistic in front of people if they didn't understand my reasons for it.

 

[golfgal]

This is funny b/c I AM a band director, but we have a seperate FB page for the band so we just post info there.



I am flattered. I just think it's funny that it seems like a rite of passage for them to "friend" me on FB. I'm sure it doesn't take them long to figure out how boring I am!

They have a "marching band" page but for the rest of the band, the info comes from the director page-which is probably really administered by one of the students that helps the band directors .

 

[Ceila]

I must be in the minority here, but I don't even know whether someone has denied any of my friend requests. I do tend to keep my FB friends limited to people I know well, but I don't keep track of whether someone accepts my request or not. If their posts show up on my home page, pbviously they accepted it. Otherwise, no big deal. People have all kinds of reasons to accept or decline a FB invitation. Honestly, I have better things to do than worry over whether someone accepted a silly FB request.

 

[disykat]

My FB-employee-HS-friend verified what HelenePA said. Lists are entirely private.

Thanks!