Facebook for a 9 yr old?

[mom2boys]

I won't even let my 14 & 15 yr old son's get facebook accounts. It's not them I'm worried about as much as what someone else might post there - for all eternity.

Call me paranoid but I am concerned that in the future a potential employer my do a search & see something that someone posted on my kid's facebook acct and it might be just the thing to keep them from getting the job. My youngest is planning for a career in federal law enforcement. Onc eis considering a teaching carerr. Teens don't always make the best choices. Hopefully the consequences aren't unsermontable however, they don't need an occassional bad decision to become public information. For someone to post something about the wild time he had at a hs/college party is not something I want a potential employer reading. (I'll deal with the behavior but for it to be floating in cyberspace forever is another thing.)

 

[happygirl]

I don't see the big deal as long as you watching over it. I would allow her to have classmates and family as friends. That is it no strangers

 

[pyrxtc]

I was considering letting my DD12 have one soon and now that one of her friends has "friended" me and I see what she is posting and checking out, no thank you. She has activated some very inappropriate quizzes and just not something I think my DD needs to do right now. She has a lot of friends and an e-mail account and IM's thru her e-mail, which I think is more than enough.

 

[DMRick]

It's amazing how many parents have apparently said no, and so the kids open accounts at the library. Parents have no control, since they think the kids are there getting out books. The librarian says they know it, and wish there was a way to not allow it, but it's not one of the blocked sites and there isn't much they can do. While waiting for my turn at the last library I was in (when we travel, and the campgrounds don't have wifi, I sometimes just use a library and at some of them I can't use my own computer), there were several kids on and facebook was up. When the computers are side by side, and I have glanced over, perhaps when the younger teen next to me laughs, I've seen some very 'interesting' pictures that are posted on the facebook account they are on.
The kids really don't need their parents to sign on . Library, friends computer, they seem to find ways.

 

[Pixiedust34]

I'd stick with the rules and wait until a child is at least 13.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

It's amazing how many parents have apparently said no, and so the kids open accounts at the library. Parents have no control, since they think the kids are there getting out books. The librarian says they know it, and wish there was a way to not allow it, but it's not one of the blocked sites and there isn't much they can do. While waiting for my turn at the last library I was in (when we travel, and the campgrounds don't have wifi, I sometimes just use a library and at some of them I can't use my own computer), there were several kids on and facebook was up. When the computers are side by side, and I have glanced over, perhaps when the younger teen next to me laughs, I've seen some very 'interesting' pictures that are posted on the facebook account they are on.
The kids really don't need their parents to sign on . Library, friends computer, they seem to find ways.

absolutely.. some parents will be shocked when they find their child has had one alot longer than they thought..and their perfect little child is quite knowledgable in the ways of the world...
I'd rather have control than forbid things that alot of children go and do anyways...
But for now..I have hopes of waiting a few more years than start dealing with that (with her anyways...I have a 13 yr old too...lol)

 

[lustergirl]

I wouldn't be even asking this question- you get a big fat no from me!!!

 

[sneadae]

Keep them as young and innocent as possible, for as long as possible...they have plenty of time to grow up later.

 

[dismom2]

absolutely.. some parents will be shocked when they find their child has had one alot longer than they thought..and their perfect little child is quite knowledgable in the ways of the world...
I'd rather have control than forbid things that alot of children go and do anyways...
But for now..I have hopes of waiting a few more years than start dealing with that (with her anyways...I have a 13 yr old too...lol)

Your post was a reply to someone else's, but I'd like to jump in and comment on the part I bolded above:

I understand what you are thinking, but I feel that if people took that approach literally, it could open up a whole new can of worms.....

I'm not naive, and I remember being a kid/teen, and I for one don't think my kids are perfect. I'm not perfect either. But, I will not give in and let my children do things at home just so I can have control. The way I feel is, it's my job to make the rules, and my job to teach my children what I want to teach them---my idea of right from wrong, my morals beliefs, etc.... (and that means saying no sometimes, and having them learn what patience is, and learning that life is not always fair). They don't have to like all of my rules or answers, but at least---for me---I can have a clear conscience at the end of the day, knowing I did what I felt was best for my child. If they go and do something behind my back, and I'm sure they will someday, and may have already---who know's--- it's on them. They have to make choices as they grow, just as I did. I'm not going to condone something, or allow something to be done at home just because my child wants to do it, or all their friends are doing it. I think most of the people I know have said that to their parents ("all my friends....").

The only other thing I wanted to add was this:

It seems that more and more there is not a whole lot of distinction between kids and adults nowadays. Other than things like driving and drinking, kids seem to be allowed to do an awful lot of things that were once reserved for adults. I'm 'only' in my mid 40's, but there are so many differences between my generation and the new one's. Kids are allowed to do so much more. I couldn't even call an adult by their first name when I was growing up. It's really strange to see how fast things are changing.

 

[IDoDis]

It seems that more and more there is not a whole lot of distinction between kids and adults nowadays. Other than things like driving and drinking, kids seem to be allowed to do an awful lot of things that were once reserved for adults. I'm 'only' in my mid 40's, but there are so many differences between my generation and the new one's. Kids are allowed to do so much more. I couldn't even call an adult by their first name when I was growing up. It's really strange to see how fast things are changing.

I agree. Ask on this forum how many people let their kids watch PG-13 movies when they are 7 years old. Ask how many let their kids watch rated R movies because they can then"discuss" the hot topics with thier kids. Ask how many don't censor their kids' reading at all and let them read books that are written for adults that may have violent rape scenes in them or some hard-core "romance." I've asked these questions and usually 90% of the responses are that the parents seem to think these things are okay for their young kids.

Maybe the ones that don't think it's okay are just afraid to speak up, because it really makes me wonder when I see a thread like this and the same people will allow their 12 year old DD to read a book where a 13 year old gets raped and murdered ("The Lovely Bones"), yet are completely against their child having a fb page.

I'm not promoting the fb page for a kid. -- I've already said no I would not allow it. I just get confused sometimes with the parent choices regarding what's okay and what isn't okay.

 

[robinb]

My DD will be 10 in 2 weeks and I see no reason for her to be on Facebook. None of her friends are on Facebook and even if they were the minimum age is 13. I can see where a younger sibling might want to be a "big kid" just like their older sibling, but part of being a good parent is to restrict the younger siblings to age-appropriate activities.

 

[dismom2]

I agree. Ask on this forum how many people let their kids watch PG-13 movies when they are 7 years old. Ask how many let their kids watch rated R movies because they can then"discuss" the hot topics with thier kids. Ask how many don't censor their kids' reading at all and let them read books that are written for adults that may have violent rape scenes in them or some hard-core "romance." I've asked these questions and usually 90% of the responses are that the parents seem to think these things are okay for their young kids.

Maybe the ones that don't think it's okay are just afraid to speak up, because it really makes me wonder when I see a thread like this and the same people will allow their 12 year old DD to read a book where a 13 year old gets raped and murdered ("The Lovely Bones"), yet are completely against their child having a fb page.

I'm not promoting the fb page for a kid. -- I've already said no I would not allow it. I just get confused sometimes with the parent choices regarding what's okay and what isn't okay.

I firmly believe that a lot of people are afraid to speak up, even though this is just an internet forum. Some people don't because they are afraid others will think negatively about them if they give an unpopular answer. Or, they are waiting for someone else to say what they are thinking. Or, they choose to stay as neutral as possible so they don't rock the boat, etc....

I think people should be true to themselves and just say how they feel.

 

[java]

That would be a big fat NO from me. Once innocence is lost you can't get it back.
We saw that happen when we went to see the Hangover. 3 tweens snuck into the theater. At the end of the movie they had the look of SHOCK on their faces.

My 15 year old has a facebook page and he told me his password and knows that I pop in to check every so often. And trust me what kids post would curl your hair. Thankfully the only thing I've had to remind him of is that once it's put on your page it's out there for all to see.

My 11 year old hasn't asked- I noticed though that a couple of her friends have pages. And honestly it's the friends whose parents are distracted.

 

[wdwiala]

thats what I was thinking...she'd love Farmtown and Farmville!! LOL

Ditto for my 11 year old. I keep a very restricted friend list for her and she goes under an abreviated name.

 

[wdwiala]

To add on: I am a very conservative mother. My daughter (11) is not allowed to watch just anything or do just anything. Facebook is not MySpace. It is much more easily controlled and watched over by you as a parent if you choose to do so. I don't encourage her to befriend her school friends on FB (she hasn't). She has close family members and church friends on her list. She loves Farmtown and Scrabble with them.

I don't take an "everything is evil" point of view. Keep an eye on what your child is doing and it wont be "taking away her innocence". I have about 200 friends on FB, at least half are from church. I would trust a great amount of them to befriend my daughter. Frankly, it can't be that bad for her to see how their lives are going. Who is sick, who is happy, etc.

Those people who are offensive? I block them. I have done it to several. Not worth my time.

I wonder if some of these people who are commenting are on FB. And if they are finding it so offensive, then maybe they should take a second look at their own Facebook friends and do a little pruning. IMHO

 

[disfan07]

I agree that 9 is way too young. My cousin is 11 1/2 and most of her friends have facebook (i dont doubt it especially with where she lives) but the rule is no facebook until high school (she argues that she should be able to get one after her bat mitzvah b/c technically she is an adult than)....i tried that arguement too when i was her age...it didnt work for me either
Luckily, my cousin is still really into "kid" stuff. She loves board games, wii, writing stories, swimming, etc. Its really funny b/c where she lives, most of her friends are spoiled rotten b/c where she lives is a very very wealthy area...(and she goes to school with actors/actresses kids which should explain a lot) but she is still very much a kid and not spoiled...at least not too much...she is an only child being raised in a very very waelthy environment

I got a facecook about 4 years ago when i was 16. I only use it to keep in touch wiht my friends. I moved cross coutry 2 months ago and all of my friends are back in virginia and it is an easy way to not loose touch with all of them.

 

[Beavers5]

It's amazing how many parents have apparently said no, and so the kids open accounts at the library. Parents have no control, since they think the kids are there getting out books. The librarian says they know it, and wish there was a way to not allow it, but it's not one of the blocked sites and there isn't much they can do.

It's hard to believe the librarians can't block some sites. Our public library has four sets of computers. One set for ages 1-5, which is software only. One set for ages 6-12, which has software and a few websites. One set for 13-17, which I have never used but assume has more freedom. And a final set for adults. Each set is in a separate age appropriate room of the library, along with the age appropriate books. It drives me nuts having to run from the toddler room to the tween area, but it is definitely better than the alternative.

I agree. Ask on this forum how many people let their kids watch PG-13 movies when they are 7 years old. Ask how many let their kids watch rated R movies because they can then"discuss" the hot topics with thier kids. Ask how many don't censor their kids' reading at all and let them read books that are written for adults that may have violent rape scenes in them or some hard-core "romance." I've asked these questions and usually 90% of the responses are that the parents seem to think these things are okay for their young kids.

Maybe the ones that don't think it's okay are just afraid to speak up, because it really makes me wonder when I see a thread like this and the same people will allow their 12 year old DD to read a book where a 13 year old gets raped and murdered ("The Lovely Bones"), yet are completely against their child having a fb page.

I'm not promoting the fb page for a kid. -- I've already said no I would not allow it. I just get confused sometimes with the parent choices regarding what's okay and what isn't okay.

I really hope that it is a matter of people being afraid to speak up, because if not there are a lot of kids that are exposed to inappropriate content. And FTR, I wish someone had warned me about Lovely Bones.

 

[DMRick]

They can block sites. But as I mentioned, I was told facebook isn't one of them. Maybe it is in some libraries. I know in my library at home, everyone uses all the computers. There are only 5 of them. Somr stuff doesn't come up on all of them, but they are all the same and next to each other. I've been in a lot of libraries, and the ones I visit are pretty much like my home library.

It's hard to believe the librarians can't block some sites. Our public library has four sets of computers. One set for ages 1-5, which is software only. One set for ages 6-12, which has software and a few websites. One set for 13-17, which I have never used but assume has more freedom. And a final set for adults. Each set is in a separate age appropriate room of the library, along with the age appropriate books. It drives me nuts having to run from the toddler room to the tween area, but it is definitely better than the alternative.



I really hope that it is a matter of people being afraid to speak up, because if not there are a lot of kids that are exposed to inappropriate content. And FTR, I wish someone had warned me about Lovely Bones.

 

[Kath2003]

No, you should NOT let your 9 year old use Facebook. Besides anything else, it's NOT ALLOWED by Facebook!

 

[NotUrsula]

No. It's a violation of the terms of service -- simple as that.

You really don't want to give kids the idea that contracts are something that can be ignored any time you like. If you enter into a contract, you honor the terms, or you have no leg to stand on in the event that a dispute arises.