Facebook causes Troubles- let's share!!

[Sir Robin Hood]

I got poked a few months ago on FB. It was an ordinary day, and I was logging in to check messages just like I normally do when...boom...there it was. I was shocked at first. Eventually shock turned to anger, and anger to guilt. My friends keep telling me it wasn't my fault, and that it could have happened to anybody. But I was still confused and always felt dirty on the inside. Seriously, why me? The poke came from a close friend I used to have night class with. We still hang out, but deep down I will always wonder if I can ever fully trust her again. When we talk, I can never bring myself to bring up the poke. I want to ask her why..why me, but the words can never leave my mouth. I often wonder if she has any remorse, but that too I am afraid to ask her. So we just remain casual friends, and I am trying my best to keep the past behind me. But just last week, I began having flashbacks of the poke. It bothered me like crazy as I was signing in. What if it happens again? It got to the point where I could no longer stand it. I had to let her know how angry and upset this poke had made me. She had to finally find out the pain of countless sleepless nights and never being able to sign in to FB without fear felt like. So I threw a sheep at her and called it a draw.

 

[Corryn]

I logged on to FB and created an account after my sister kept asking me to do so. Her and my nephews are on there, and it was a way to keep in touch, she said.
So I did it.
Next thing I know, a girl from h.s. "friended" me - It was someone whom I got along with, and I thought it was great "talking" with her once again.
Now, before FB, I had NEVER EVER wanted to get together with anyone from h.s. I didn't date anyone I attended h.s. with, I had a miserable time in h.s. didn't want to relive any part of that time in my life.
But then others saw I was now on FB and friends with this one girl, and it was like that old Breck commercial, They tell two friends and so on and so on...
Well, now I'm "friends" with over 100 people I attended h.s. with. Even the ones I didn't particularly care for back then. But I don't have good family roots, and after "talking" with these people back and forth, I felt like I'm finally with people who "know me".
I can honestly say that not one of my FB friends, and I've got about 200 of them (not a lot, but enough for me!) talk about politics. Every once in a while someone shoots off something random, but for the most part, it's just daily fun. There are about 30 people with whom I have daily contact on FB and we mostly just shoot the breeze, talk about our day, share our celebrations and our heart ache. We've gotten a little group together and when someone is going through a tough time, we chip in a few bucks and send them a Vermont Teddy Bear or flowers.
What's great is that we're all from the same h.s., two different towns (The Bronx and Queens) and most of us have moved from the area. Everyone is homesick, of course, so staying in contact and having light conversation keeps us all grounded. We know that someone is there to vent to, to lean on, to help us through a tough time.
We had a mini-reunion in June and friends flew in from California, Texas, Florida, South Carolina, and drove in from near-by states. Believe it or not, it was at a small bar in Queens, but it was a big enough event for them to fork over the cash for travel expenses and lodging. We all thought it was one of the best nights we can remember. We all put our past judgments aside, knowing 23 years have passed and we've all outgrown our teen-age ways and views. We're all mostly parents, all going through the same things and we've all been humbled enough to enjoy what we have, which are life-long friends.
Who'da thought?

Some things I do NOT do:
I do not friend my children
I do not friend my children's friends
I set my privacy status to "only friends" for my status updates, profile information and photos. I don't want certain people, like friends of friends who have given me grief over the years, to have any sort of contact with me.
If someone wants to "friend" me I always think of the potential trouble that might cause me: Will my husband be pissed off? Is this person a trouble-maker?
Like I mentioned before, I RARELY get political. I get very goofy. Goofiness makes a lot of people laugh. They're not gonna get angry and want to send me black roses if I update my status with a joke or a great quote.

 

[everylastbreath]

it started out kinda light, but went downhill fast.

This is exactly what happened in my case, started with some inocent remarks that were taken the wrong way and got really bad really quick.

You can't control how things are taken on FB which is dangerous, what you consider inocent is not to someone else- look at the post about a "Poke" being offensive!

 

[Costumesaremylife]

My sister de friended me, but her drama was before facebook. She had a baby and didn't think I would care to know I guess.

Not on my facebook, but on someone I have known for a while, she is just seperated from her husband and keeps posting about her 'sleepovers' with her guy bestfriend. How she is excited for one or how she is unhappy she can't have one because the husband can't take the kids.

I think she's crazy for putting that online.

 

[ckay87]

I got poked a few months ago on FB. It was an ordinary day, and I was logging in to check messages just like I normally do when...boom...there it was. I was shocked at first. Eventually shock turned to anger, and anger to guilt. My friends keep telling me it wasn't my fault, and that it could have happened to anybody. But I was still confused and always felt dirty on the inside. Seriously, why me? The poke came from a close friend I used to have night class with. We still hang out, but deep down I will always wonder if I can ever fully trust her again. When we talk, I can never bring myself to bring up the poke. I want to ask her why..why me, but the words can never leave my mouth. I often wonder if she has any remorse, but that too I am afraid to ask her. So we just remain casual friends, and I am trying my best to keep the past behind me. But just last week, I began having flashbacks of the poke. It bothered me like crazy as I was signing in. What if it happens again? It got to the point where I could no longer stand it. I had to let her know how angry and upset this poke had made me. She had to finally find out the pain of countless sleepless nights and never being able to sign in to FB without fear felt like. So I threw a sheep at her and called it a draw.

Best post today!

 

[2binak]

You can't control how things are taken on FB which is dangerous, what you consider inocent is not to someone else- look at the post about a "Poke" being offensive!

I'm pretty sure the "poke" post was a joke...


I've gotten annoyed enough with my SIL to defriend her and somewhat stop talking to her outside of FB. She's a single mom and has been coming to family for years crying about how she's in the red every month and is constantly borrowing money from her parents pay bills. She uses her son as an excuse ("he has to eat", "he has to have clothes", etc), then she turns around on FB and talks about her new iphone! The next few days are filled with pity party statements about how much her life sucks because she can never catch a break. I just couldn't deal with the drama (and lies - she never told her parents about the iphone or tried to sell it, instead asked them for money to fix her car).

 

[N&B'smom]

I've had two things happen on FB.

The first was someone sent me a friend request that I wasn't a big fan of growing up. (he was a year ahead of me in school) He was friends with a lot of my friends on FB so I figured maybe he had changed and I would give him a chance. The very night I accepted his friend request he made his status something rude about one of my family members, obviously for the purpose of me seeing it. So, I let him have it and just removed him from my friends. No loss for me, clearly he hasn't changed all that much.

The other issue I had was also with a guy I went to school with, I believe he was a year behind me. Anyway, he sent me a chat message asking how I was so I answered him back. Then he asked how long I was married and stuff like that. He then dropped the bomb about how marriage isn't what he thought it would be and started telling me things I really did NOT want to know. He made a couple of comments that seemed like he was flirting with me so I put an end to that immediately.

It's fun to catch up with people but only if those people are respectful of my boundaries. If they cross the line, they're done.

 

[dzee]

That's too bad they acted like such jurks! Like I said Shelby people get awfully brave when they are hiding behind a keyboard!! Those are the ones who usually can't say what they have to say to your face and then definitely can't have a face to face discussion with you to hash it out!! They are the ones who so deserve the boot off the friend list!! You are better off without people like that because they can ruin your experience on FB!

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

So what's the deal with "Poke"? I'm pretty new to FB and have no idea what it is or what it does...

 

[Family Fun Mom]

My sister is in an arguement with a old high school friend of mine. I like him but we have opposite political opinions and he does not allow someone else to have the last word. He said some awful things to my sister so I got involved. I defended her. Gut reaction. I then asked for a truce. I don't like fighting with friends but won't be able to help myself if he is rude to my sister again. I hope they both knock it off.

Yeah, Facebook can cause trouble.

 

[Family Fun Mom]

I got poked a few months ago on FB. It was an ordinary day, and I was logging in to check messages just like I normally do when...boom...there it was. I was shocked at first. Eventually shock turned to anger, and anger to guilt. My friends keep telling me it wasn't my fault, and that it could have happened to anybody. But I was still confused and always felt dirty on the inside. Seriously, why me? The poke came from a close friend I used to have night class with. We still hang out, but deep down I will always wonder if I can ever fully trust her again. When we talk, I can never bring myself to bring up the poke. I want to ask her why..why me, but the words can never leave my mouth. I often wonder if she has any remorse, but that too I am afraid to ask her. So we just remain casual friends, and I am trying my best to keep the past behind me. But just last week, I began having flashbacks of the poke. It bothered me like crazy as I was signing in. What if it happens again? It got to the point where I could no longer stand it. I had to let her know how angry and upset this poke had made me. She had to finally find out the pain of countless sleepless nights and never being able to sign in to FB without fear felt like. So I threw a sheep at her and called it a draw.

That was hilarious!

 

[liamsaunt]

I don't post anything on facebook that I would not want my boss, my husband, or my parents to see. I don't friend people I don't know. I don't play any of the games, and I don't write anything super personal on my page. I also have my settings on private. Mainly I use my page as a place to share photos with friends and family, and to keep in casual contact with people I like but can't/don't have time to talk with on the phone or in person. I have reconnected with some old frends I fell out of touch with and that is nice.

That said, I have no idea what the point of the "poke" feature is either. Sir Robin Hood's post about it was awfully funny though!

 

[Poohgirl]

I have a casual friend who now lives across the country. He is married and a couple kids, they just bought a new house etc. but under relationship it has "its complicated with (name of woman not his wife's)" I haven't got the guts to ask him about it but Im sure its caused many questions from observers, fortunately for him his wife isnt on Facebook and doesnt speak english very well...

 

[2binak]

I don't post anything on facebook that I would not want my boss, my husband, or my parents to see. I don't friend people I don't know. I don't play any of the games, and I don't write anything super personal on my page. I also have my settings on private. Mainly I use my page as a place to share photos with friends and family, and to keep in casual contact with people I like but can't/don't have time to talk with on the phone or in person. I have reconnected with some old frends I fell out of touch with and that is nice.

That said, I have no idea what the point of the "poke" feature is either. Sir Robin Hood's post about it was awfully funny though!

I use FB in the same way as you.

My understanding of a poke is like saying Hi without actually typing in on the person's wall. I've never poked or been poked. If I want your attention, I'll write on your wall.

 

[Buckalew11]

I poke DISMN about once a week on FB. She returns the poke. LOL That said, we've been poking each other on the 'net for as long as I've known her. It is all just silly fun!

 

[Targsmom]

Just finished reading another post about a facebook "No-No" a friend and I were just talking about FB this morning saying how it has caused so many people problems in relationships. I personally don't speak to some family members any more from a problem that originally started in FB. Figured I would start a thread to see just how many people have had issues with friendships/relationships due to Facebook.

Let's share stories! Who don't you talk to anymore because of Facebook?

Here is a twist.

My brother and I haven't spoken in over 8 years.

We are reconnecting (cautiously) with Facebook. It has given us an opportunity to get to know each other again. We have moved on to texting and IM'ing. Perhaps we may even meet for lunch sometime.

You have no idea how happy this makes me.

 

[Targsmom]

I have a couple of people like this too. One is family actually who I don't want to be friends with. The best way I've found to deal with this is to not click "ignore". The friend request just stays there (which is mildly annoying) but they can't do anything about it and can't keep requesting you as a friend. If they check it just still says "friend request pending" or something like that.

You can ban them.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I have two friends that I graduated from high school with and haven't seen since as friends. The rest of my friends are my family members. I have political beliefs that are the same as my dad's side of the family but different from my mom's sister and her daughter (my cousin). So, I just don't say anything political. I also am very careful about what I say in my other posts...I don't need every little bit of my personal life getting back to my parents.

 

[worm761]

Most of my facebook friends I am related to! I don't put anything on there I wouldn't say to them. Just basic updates on my life. It really is easier than sending out emails or calling.

Though those of you that play games....Have you played Farkle? That stupid game is so addictive.

 

[Boston Tea Party]

I got poked a few months ago on FB. It was an ordinary day, and I was logging in to check messages just like I normally do when...boom...there it was. I was shocked at first. Eventually shock turned to anger, and anger to guilt. My friends keep telling me it wasn't my fault, and that it could have happened to anybody. But I was still confused and always felt dirty on the inside. Seriously, why me? The poke came from a close friend I used to have night class with. We still hang out, but deep down I will always wonder if I can ever fully trust her again. When we talk, I can never bring myself to bring up the poke. I want to ask her why..why me, but the words can never leave my mouth. I often wonder if she has any remorse, but that too I am afraid to ask her. So we just remain casual friends, and I am trying my best to keep the past behind me. But just last week, I began having flashbacks of the poke. It bothered me like crazy as I was signing in. What if it happens again? It got to the point where I could no longer stand it. I had to let her know how angry and upset this poke had made me. She had to finally find out the pain of countless sleepless nights and never being able to sign in to FB without fear felt like. So I threw a sheep at her and called it a draw.