Extended family trip - rude to stay in different hotel?

[SusieQ93]

Ok, so this trip is a long way away. But with the bummer of the pandemic, I’m already talking about it because it makes me happy. Anyway, We’re planning an extended family trip to Disneyland summer of 2022. My sister and her family of 5 wants to stay at the Howard Johnson close by DLR. I know the HoJo has a loyal following and I’m not saying it’s a bad place to stay at all. But my husband and I are spoiled by having stayed at the Grand Californian and our baby will be one. The convenience for us on a hot day to quickly get back to the hotel for a break made what could’ve been a hot and kind of miserable trip perfect and that was just the two of us. I can only imagine how much that convenience will be worth with a one-year-ole. Is it rude of me to tell my sister that we’re going to stay at the Grand Californian instead? I don’t think we need to be together every second of the trip and breaks I’d imagine we’d spend time separately anyway (her kids will be 10, 8, and 4) so very different ages.

 

[pigletgirl]

I don't think it is rude unless you say it in a not so kind fashion. She knows the ballgame with babies. They're very unpredictable anyway, so having your accommodation close will feel really nice when baby is overstimulated and needs a break.

 

[Heigh-Ho]

Of course not rude at all! Many families who go don't spend every moment with each other. I can see there could be concern depending on how long it takes to get from Howard Johnson to DLR in comparison to Grand Californian. Still though if they will be happy where they are staying and you'll be happy where you'll be staying that's pretty important for a vacation especially one with a very young one, and one where people can be short-tempered at times (just being honest lol). I don't think the comparison should be based on Howard Johnson vs Grand Californian. No matter what place the hotel is you would want to be happy you chose it instead of spending time wishing you were staying elsewhere.

You can easily plan to do things together and plan for times when you go off and do other things or take breaks differently. With that even if everyone was staying in the same place, even on site, this could be the case.

Enjoy your trip and stay!

 

[Heigh-Ho]

I don't think it is rude unless you say it in a not so kind fashion.

I agree here. I don't think the author of the thread was going that route but it bears mentioning by someone on this thread. Sometimes people look down upon certain places and it comes off like that which can ruffle feathers.

 

[SusieQ93]

I agree here. I don't think the author of the thread was going that route but it bears mentioning by someone on this thread. Sometimes people look down upon certain places and it comes off like that which can ruffle feathers.

Yeah, I definitely won’t say it in a rude way. But I don’t want it to come across as rude by accident. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with staying at the South Harbor Blvd hotels (in fact, that’s what almost all of our DLR visits have been), but I know with a one year old and having stayed at the Grand Californian before, I think we’ll miss the convenience. I just think in the event of meltdowns/messes/other unforeseen circumstances, we’ll be very happy to be able to get back to the hotel super fast. Especially because there will probably be times when her kids don’t need a break but we need to take one, so we can do that without too much travel time and meet up again later. Or even one of us might take the baby back while the other stays with the rest of the group. Thinking this through out loud is helping me come up with how to frame it properly. Thank you!

 

[sponica]

I think as long as it's framed as you preferring the convenience of one place over another it's fine. Even if you didn't have a baby, I don't think there should be an issue.

 

[unrequited23]

I'm going to use a DW analogy for your DL problem...the closest I will stay to extended family on a trip is the distance between POR and POFQ. Anything less is way too close.

 

[robinb]

You know your sister better than we do. I think that I would be somewhat disappointed if I was planning a family vacation and my sister chose to stay at a more expensive resort than I could afford all for the sake of "convenience". If the GC more convenient? Would you still be able to tour with your family? Yes to both. But it won't be the same with you staying at two different resorts. You won't be together, you'll just "meet up". BTDT, have the trophy. I think that you are giving up a combined family vacation for separate ones for the sake of a 10-minute walk. Yeah, I'd be sad that being with me was not worth a 10-minute walk.

 

[sponica]

You know your sister better than we do. I think that I would be somewhat disappointed if I was planning a family vacation and my sister chose to stay at a more expensive resort than I could afford all for the sake of "convenience". If the GC more convenient? Would you still be able to tour with your family? Yes to both. But it won't be the same with you staying at two different resorts. You won't be together, you'll just "meet up". BTDT, have the trophy. I think that you are giving up a combined family vacation for separate ones for the sake of a 10-minute walk. Yeah, I'd be sad that being with me was not worth a 10-minute walk.

It's the age old planning mantra. Everyone needs to have the same expectations. Is this a family trip to Disneyland or a trip to Disneyland with family? There's a difference. If party A thinks it's the former and party B thinks its the latter, nobody will enjoy themselves.

After traveling with my in laws, I will never ever stay in the same hotel with any other family group while on vacation. People need space, well I need space.

 

[robinb]

It's the age old planning mantra. Everyone needs to have the same expectations. Is this a family trip to Disneyland or a trip to Disneyland with family? There's a difference. If party A thinks it's the former and party B thinks its the latter, nobody will enjoy themselves.

That is absolutely true. Is the OP planning a "family vacation" or a "vacation with family"? The OP said "extended family trip" so if she's planning the former, then staying a different resort will make things more difficult and may cause hard feelings.

After traveling with my in laws, I will never ever stay in the same hotel with any other family group while on vacation. People need space, well I need space.

Also BTDT. We shared a DVC villa with my in-laws. That was too close, LOL. However, staying at the same resort was just fine for us. FWIW, the OP never said she didn't want to stay in the same resort as her sister, just that she was trying to rationalize staying at the GC instead.

 

[SusieQ93]

That is absolutely true. Is the OP planning a "family vacation" or a "vacation with family"? The OP said "extended family trip" so if she's planning the former, then staying a different resort will make things more difficult and may cause hard feelings.
Also BTDT. We shared a DVC villa with my in-laws. That was too close, LOL. However, staying at the same resort was just fine for us. FWIW, the OP never said she didn't want to stay in the same resort as her sister, just that she was trying to rationalize staying at the GC instead.

Yeah, we also are just different types of travelers. My sister is much more of a budget traveler (regardless of what she can afford), it's just her style. And that's perfectly ok. For example, they don't really like doing TS meals, it's just not worth it to them. We like TS for the break, ambience, knowing you have a reserved table (not having to fight for a table with your hands full at QS). I guess to me another rationale is that we'd have a room so close, they would be welcome to take a rest in our room if they wanted mid-day/store anything they wanted in our room. With a Disney trip you're not spending a lot of time hanging out at the hotel, any together time would be in the parks/Downtown Disney anyways. The only thing we'd be missing out on is walking to the parks together, I don't see that as a big deal.

We got married at WDW a couple years ago and stayed at the Boardwalk while everyone else stayed at Pop. I didn't feel at all bad about that though because we were there for our wedding. And no one took it poorly then.

 

[Hikergirl]

I don't find it rude at all, it's your vacation too and if staying at the GC is what you prefer just tell her that. It isn't like you are all planning on sharing a room with eachother, you'll have plenty of family vacation time while at DL.

 

[Summer2018]

Ok, so this trip is a long way away. But with the bummer of the pandemic, I’m already talking about it because it makes me happy. Anyway, We’re planning an extended family trip to Disneyland summer of 2022. My sister and her family of 5 wants to stay at the Howard Johnson close by DLR. I know the HoJo has a loyal following and I’m not saying it’s a bad place to stay at all. But my husband and I are spoiled by having stayed at the Grand Californian and our baby will be one. The convenience for us on a hot day to quickly get back to the hotel for a break made what could’ve been a hot and kind of miserable trip perfect and that was just the two of us. I can only imagine how much that convenience will be worth with a one-year-ole. Is it rude of me to tell my sister that we’re going to stay at the Grand Californian instead? I don’t think we need to be together every second of the trip and breaks I’d imagine we’d spend time separately anyway (her kids will be 10, 8, and 4) so very different ages.

I think that you should stay where you want. You definitely don't want to spend every waking moment together.

 

[sponica]

Yeah, we also are just different types of travelers. My sister is much more of a budget traveler (regardless of what she can afford), it's just her style. And that's perfectly ok. For example, they don't really like doing TS meals, it's just not worth it to them. We like TS for the break, ambience, knowing you have a reserved table (not having to fight for a table with your hands full at QS). I guess to me another rationale is that we'd have a room so close, they would be welcome to take a rest in our room if they wanted mid-day/store anything they wanted in our room. With a Disney trip you're not spending a lot of time hanging out at the hotel, any together time would be in the parks/Downtown Disney anyways. The only thing we'd be missing out on is walking to the parks together, I don't see that as a big deal.

We got married at WDW a couple years ago and stayed at the Boardwalk while everyone else stayed at Pop. I didn't feel at all bad about that though because we were there for our wedding. And no one took it poorly then.

I was planning a family trip with 2 other family units in my family, we were all going to be in different places. My sister in her camper at the fort, we were at CBR, my mom and step dad at a place TBD. But we all vacation differently, my husband and I would prefer to vacation at a level that our daily lives wouldn't allow...to us being thrifty on vacation defeats the purpose OF vacation. Of course the trip never happened (I got pregnant, then covid happened). Maybe we'll all go in 2022?

 

[iivye]

When we do family trips we always stay at the same place. I prefer Deluxe accommodations but I stay where my brother's family is able to stay. Now, we also don't see each other all the time back home so the vacations are more for us to spend time together. If we saw each other every weekend I might be more inclined to stay at a different location.

 

[SusieQ93]

I was planning a family trip with 2 other family units in my family, we were all going to be in different places. My sister in her camper at the fort, we were at CBR, my mom and step dad at a place TBD. But we all vacation differently, my husband and I would prefer to vacation at a level that our daily lives wouldn't allow...to us being thrifty on vacation defeats the purpose OF vacation. Of course the trip never happened (I got pregnant, then covid happened). Maybe we'll all go in 2022?

Yeah, I am pregnant now - knowing I won't have a Disney trip for a long time is hard! But it will be worth the wait. I was supposed to have a DLR resort trip with my other sister and her family staying at the Grand Californian in October of this year. Our last Disney trip was November 2019 at WDW. This will end up being the longest stretch for me without a Disney trip in my adult life. First world problems, I know, but I live for my Disney trips. If I wasn't pregnant, I would be trying to go to WDW in the spring but that would be irresponsible for me to do now.

 

[SusieQ93]

When we do family trips we always stay at the same place. I prefer Deluxe accommodations but I stay where my brother's family is able to stay. Now, we also don't see each other all the time back home so the vacations are more for us to spend time together. If we saw each other every weekend I might be more inclined to stay at a different location.

I get that perspective too. Maybe we'll stay at the same hotel and then like 6 months later go back and do a Grand Cali trip by ourselves Still plenty of time to decide. Another thing I'm cognizant of is not wanting to make my older niece and nephew feel bad about staying somewhere else....

 

[sponica]

When we do family trips we always stay at the same place. I prefer Deluxe accommodations but I stay where my brother's family is able to stay. Now, we also don't see each other all the time back home so the vacations are more for us to spend time together. If we saw each other every weekend I might be more inclined to stay at a different location.

I think if my kids were closer in age to my niece and nephew I'd feel that way, but we are in such different phases right now the separation is nice.

 

[SusieQ93]

After much thought, I think we're just going to stay at the Howard Johnson this trip and we'll stay at the Grand Californian next time! Even though my preference is the Grand Californian, I decided that the potential of hurt feelings just isn't worth it. We have plenty of Grand Californian trips in our future Now, I just have to convince my husband, lol!

 

[Pumbaa_]

I would stay where I want. With a 1yo you have very different park plans. The older kids are going to want to do things that aren’t baby friendly.

I would talk realistically to your sister. Your baby will need a daily nap and much more down time than your sister’s family. She knows what an infant needs. when we’ve traveled w extended family we scheduled one. Ts meal a day w the entire group. We often started the day together then broke up, w each nuclear family either heading back to the resort for pools/naps or off to more park time.

be so much more convenient for your midday break to be right there.
your sister will understand. It’s really not a big deal.