Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[iwrbnd]

Daisy&Max, sounds like you're handling everything great by bringing Max in slowly. Even typical kids don't want a relationship pushed on them!

Things have been nice in our little world lately. Driving to church the other day my DD7 was listening to the song "Ever After" from Enchanted and the part of the song that says "Wear your heart on your sleeve" made for an funny conversation with my Scmutch DS11! Sometimes I just love our odd little country!

 

[kampfirekim]

Things have been nice in our little world lately. Driving to church the other day my DD7 was listening to the song "Ever After" from Enchanted and the part of the song that says "Wear your heart on your sleeve" made for an funny conversation with my Scmutch DS11! Sometimes I just love our odd little country!

To our little "Literal" Schmutcharoos, I'm sure that WAS funny!

Been very busy on our little patch of Schmolland! First time going to a day camp.

First day DS cried the whole time. Went to Chic-fil-a afterward w/a friend and her boys. DS behaved beautifully! Almost typical!

Second Day (yesterday), he went straight into camp w/out a fuss and had a great time! Then we got home! I left the room a few minutes came back and found him w/an open bottle of Tylenol PM. KFK is now in panic mode! I found them all over the floor and scooped 4 out of his mouth! To keep it brief....a call to the pharmacist, a call to the pediatrician, a call to Poison Control, a 6.5 hour visit to the E.R. All is well! The blood test (which was terrible! and hooking a little Schmutch boy to all the wired equipment was less than pleasant as well) showed all levels normal. I got it all out of his mouth before he swallowed! Thank the Lord! Before anyone flames me for leaving meds out....the meds were in a childproof bottle, inside another plastic container and put up. They will now go...as Al Gore would say, in a "locked box".

Third Day at day camp, DS bolted and ran for a bit, was quickly caught and when he was taken to his classroom...turned, looked at me, smiled, waved and said "Bye, bye." What!? No tears! No screaming, No begging? Who is this kid and where is mine? I loved it! I was sooooo proud! My friend was standing nearby and was in tears at DS's speech and willingness to send me on my way. It's been a good day so far.

 

[Daisy&Max]

KFK..no flames here! Kids are smart...those bottles are not childproof but adultproof. My oldest sprayed lysol into his eyes when he was about 3. So I know the panic. I'm glad he is fine and that you survived! and on the getting to 3rd day of camp with no fuss! That's progress for you!

Nothing new to report here! Oh well last night little Schmutch boy and I were alone so we went out to dinner (cuz I'm a lousy cook, so we did the kid eats free thing at Denny's! LOL) Anyway, while we were at scouts...where he talks to no one and refuses to look at anybody...I asked him if he wanted to go out to dinner with me. His eye lit up and he said yes. So I told him then you need to talk loud and look at Miss MJ when she speaks to you. I knew it was hopeless but I figured I'd give it a try...sure enough that little scmutch looked right at here and clear as a bell and at loud enough for all to hear began answering her. I almost fell over! I guess the way to a man's heart really is through his stomach!

Daisy

 

[kampfirekim]

KFK..no flames here! Kids are smart...those bottles are not childproof but adultproof. My oldest sprayed lysol into his eyes when he was about 3. So I know the panic. I'm glad he is fine and that you survived! and on the getting to 3rd day of camp with no fuss! That's progress for you!

Nothing new to report here! Oh well last night little Schmutch boy and I were alone so we went out to dinner (cuz I'm a lousy cook, so we did the kid eats free thing at Denny's! LOL) Anyway, while we were at scouts...where he talks to no one and refuses to look at anybody...I asked him if he wanted to go out to dinner with me. His eye lit up and he said yes. So I told him then you need to talk loud and look at Miss MJ when she speaks to you. I knew it was hopeless but I figured I'd give it a try...sure enough that little scmutch looked right at here and clear as a bell and at loud enough for all to hear began answering her. I almost fell over! I guess the way to a man's heart really is through his stomach!

Daisy

Thanks, D&M! It was scary, but I'm just thankful all is well. Lysol in the eyes! YIKES! I Love your out to dinner story! They came up with that saying for a reason didn't they! My DS has been full of surprises this week too. At the ER last night, they were trying to put the "light" on his finger to measure oxygen levels for a second time! He clearly yelled at the nurse..."I don't want it anymore!!!" We ALL nearly hit the floor!

Pretty uneventful here right now. (Hooray! I like uneventful every once in a while!) OT went great today!

 

[persimmondeb]

No flames here either. I called Poison Control at least three times when DS was younger, once for Jergen's Lotion, once for the bottle of Vitamin E capsules he opened (only seems to have eaten one or two-he rubbed the rest on his feet), and once because he ate a carnation (the whole thing!!!-chewed and swallowed). No hospital though, thank goodness.

 

[iwrbnd]

I had to call poison control so many times one year that I stopped giving my name!

The funniest was when I called because he ate 11 vitamins (I don't remember how I knew the exact number) but as I was talking to poison control he found some more on the floor and before I could stop him he ate them! I ended up saying "Now he ate 12, oh make that 13! I'm sure they were thinking "Dumb lady, take them away from him!!!" (He was fine because they didn't have iron in them)

Sorry, KFK, you had to take your guy to the ER, though!

 

[persimmondeb]

Children's vitamins are notorious for being something that kids overdose on. I would never keep them in the house (neither would my mother), since even children old enough to theoretically know better will consume a few "extras", and as has been pointed out before, there really is no such thing as a childproof cap.

 

[iwrbnd]

Children's vitamins are notorious for being something that kids overdose on. I would never keep them in the house (neither would my mother), since even children old enough to theoretically know better will consume a few "extras", and as has been pointed out before, there really is no such thing as a childproof cap.

I agree, they taste way too good! My friend's son had to have his stomach pumped after he ate vitamins with iron. Poison control said my son would be fine because they didn't have iron in them.

 

[kampfirekim]

No flames here either. I called Poison Control at least three times when DS was younger, once for Jergen's Lotion, once for the bottle of Vitamin E capsules he opened (only seems to have eaten one or two-he rubbed the rest on his feet), and once because he ate a carnation (the whole thing!!!-chewed and swallowed). No hospital though, thank goodness.

A CARNATION! YIKES! Looks you've got a goat-boy too! My DS would probably eat lotion too if given the chance!

I had to call poison control so many times one year that I stopped giving my name!

The funniest was when I called because he ate 11 vitamins (I don't remember how I knew the exact number) but as I was talking to poison control he found some more on the floor and before I could stop him he ate them! I ended up saying "Now he ate 12, oh make that 13! I'm sure they were thinking "Dumb lady, take them away from him!!!" (He was fine because they didn't have iron in them)

Sorry, KFK, you had to take your guy to the ER, though!

I've never heard of the count going up WHILE you're on the phone w/Poison Control. P/C's phone number will now be on speed dial and in my cell phone. Yes, a trip to the ER had to be done. In a panic I flushed all remaining pills down the toilet and then thought....."Dummy, why didn't you count how many were left!" I think all were in agreement that I WAS indeed a dummy for that, but nobody said it out loud. The looks said it all! That was the first question from the Pharmacist, Pediatrician, Poison Control and ER Doc and nurses. "How many are left? Did you count them?" I felt sooooo stupid. I am normally calm and cool in a crisis, but this time I was in a cloud of fluff!

I think DS was hoping he had the vitamins, which were actually higher up than the Tylenol PM (which neither I nor DH use so I don't know why I even had it!). Glad he didn't get the vitamins, he would've emptied the bottle!

Thank you for not flaming me. What a great group you all are. I felt so free to share this without fear of being judged too harshly.

 

[persimmondeb]

Amazingly, he didn't like the Jergen's lotion. He came to me wiping his mouth, and reported "Dada's cweam tastes terrible!" This was when he was still not producing a lot of sentences. It must have made an impression. The carnation must have been tasty though, and he was 5 or 6, and I thought he ought to know better. Poison Control thought it might give him a little tummyache, but no such luck.

 

[Daisy&Max]

I am so frustrated rigth now and while it is in direct relation to my own aspie kids it really isn't their fault.

I went to visit some rising 6th graders today that I will have next year. Out of 7 three of them are autistic. One is totally non-verbal but uses a communication device, he reads at grade level, but can't dress himself. Another is somewhat verbal but has the emotional maturity of a 2 to 3 year and drools but who is able to grade level work. One of these two, I can't remember which one now, has pica so he eats anything he comes into contact with. The teacher kept celery for him in class to gnaw on. The other is the most verbal but the most emotional. He cocoons quite a bit and cries when people talk to him. All three of them stim A LOT but she said that they were pretty easy to redirect. This teacher said they are wonderful kids (I have no doubt) but they are very energy consuming. Here's my frustration...I don't want to do autistic at work and at home. There are no other sped jobs in my building that I could take that wouldn't require having heavy duty ASD kids. I'm not trained in anything but teaching and I just don't know how many more years of this I can handle. I feel like a failure as a parent and a teacher because Autism frustrates me so much.

I'm tired of living and working in Schmolland and am having trouble seeing the beauty in it. I wish I was rich and could quit and do something relaxing for a living. sigh

Daisy

 

[toodycat]

DaisyandMax---I know the feeling. I was able to transfer out of the sp.ed. collaborative program and I now work with NT at-risk kids. Is there any chance of a transfer to another building? But, if you can't change programs, then my advice would be to remember how lucky these kids are to have a teacher who truly understand and empathizes. That makes you anything but a failure!

Also, I used the time to make sure I got every piece of literature and attended every possible seminar, so that I could use the information in the classroom and at home. If I was going to have to be there, I wanted to make sure my own kid and my students benefitted from my work as much as possible.

Hang in there.

 

[kampfirekim]

Amazingly, he didn't like the Jergen's lotion. He came to me wiping his mouth, and reported "Dada's cweam tastes terrible!" This was when he was still not producing a lot of sentences. It must have made an impression. The carnation must have been tasty though, and he was 5 or 6, and I thought he ought to know better. Poison Control thought it might give him a little tummyache, but no such luck.

I agree, that "cweam" probably was terrible! That almond/cherry scent smelled much better than it tasted! You sound like me hoping for a tummyache. At least that might have been a deterrent for putting other things in his mouth in the future.

I feel like a failure as a parent and a teacher because Autism frustrates me so much.

I'm tired of living and working in Schmolland and am having trouble seeing the beauty in it. I wish I was rich and could quit and do something relaxing for a living. sigh

Daisy

Daisy, your post made me want to cry. I don't know of anything more frustrating than autism. I know there are worse things, but the stress and frustration that comes when dealing with autism is astronomical! You are certainly NOT a failure. 24/7 autism is overwhelming when it is only your own, let alone 3-4 others. Hang in there if you can. They are blessed to have you as a teacher. Try to encourage yourself in knowing that these children are better off by having someone who understands their situation and needs. I know it's hard......big hug is in order....


Well, Day four of Camp Puzzle Palooza was once again a hit! Schmutcharoo absolutely LOVES it still and so does his bro! KFK is loving it too. So far we've been shown the Blindside complete w/popcorn, candy and drinks. We've been given things. Today they had professional massage therapists providing free massages to the Schmutch moms! Also had foot baths w/all sorts of salts and lotions -n- potions, manicure station and other stuff as well. Oh yeah....and breakfast has also been provided each day. All of it was free! I'm almost ashamed to see what they do for us tomorrow on the last day of camp! But not so ashamed that I won't go to find out!

My friend and I took all four of our boys to Chic fil a after camp again. Almost NEVER got schmutcheepoo to come out of the play equipment! All three of the other boys were trying to get him out to no avail! He finally came down the slide and I nabbed him! (Don't you just love when other parents send their kids into the play area w/out ever checking in on them and are oblivious to the fact that their kids are terrorizing all the other kids? I hate having to go in to call down other peoples kids and I really hate having to notify Mgmt. But that is just what I did!)

After we got home he and bro went into the backyard w/their dad while I snuck inside for a little breather alone! DH needed to come in for a moment and asked me to watch out for them until he got back. As I watched from the back door, I noticed DS acting strangely but i couldn't see that well as he was behind the slide. Then i realized.....the shorts are coming off! Oh brother, is he peeing in the yard? Oh well. After a second look I realized...NO!, he's not peeing! He's standing on the slide ladder doing you know what! Of course I was running across the yard trying to stop him, but to no avail. The deed was done. Then it appears that he is going to try to slide.....naked.....with you know what, you know where! Just as I reach for him, down he goes. I thought I would be sick! Now I have a naked Schmutch boy who is now...well....soiled. I also have a metal slide covered in you know what....baking in the SC summer sun! I feel sick again just repeating it! I immediately took care of Schmutch boy and.....well.....I left the rest for DH! From the looks of my yard you would think I owned a St. Bernard!

Sorry this was sooo long! KFK

 

[bookwormde]

Daisy & Max,

This is your opportunity to learn and grow, be direct with the school and tell them that you need additional specific training for Autism. As said attend every seminar in your areas by notional level clinicians and educators. Look up Jim Ball and his work on skills training as it is good for the part of the spectrum you are working with.

bookwormde

 

[iwrbnd]

Daisy&Max, I want to send a to you, too! I'm sorry you have to deal with autism literally 24/7! That is so hard. Your post also made me want to cry because I have often said the words "I'm failing as a mom!" It's so hard, too, because I put my heart and soul into parenting and when I think I'm failing it's devastating! And, like you, I don't like looking out my window and seeing Schomolland! I would move in a heartbeat if there was a way out! Parenting is mostly a thankless job and parenting in Schmolland is even more! And, I'm parenting teenage Schmutzs, which is three strikes against me! So, count me in on the failure feelings, too!

KFK, I'll never look at a slide the same way again! Can I come to camp with you?

 

[kampfirekim]

Daisy&Max, I want to send a to you, too! I'm sorry you have to deal with autism literally 24/7! That is so hard. Your post also made me want to cry because I have often said the words "I'm failing as a mom!" It's so hard, too, because I put my heart and soul into parenting and when I think I'm failing it's devastating! And, like you, I don't like looking out my window and seeing Schomolland! I would move in a heartbeat if there was a way out! Parenting is mostly a thankless job and parenting in Schmolland is even more! And, I'm parenting teenage Schmutzs, which is three strikes against me! So, count me in on the failure feelings, too!

KFK, I'll never look at a slide the same way again! Can I come to camp with you?

I believe we all have those failure feelings! I have them w/my typical because I feel like he is being cheated out of time, attention and normalcy. I feel guilty w/my Schmutch because...well just because. Ya'll know what I mean by that. I feel like most days I'm running in circles and getting nowhere and nothing is getting done. I've heard the same guilt stories from parents of typicals only, so that feeling isn't exclusive to Schmolland. Makes me feel a little better. I would leave Schmolland without even packing if I knew a way out. I'd run away with only the clothes on my back. But the best I can do is keep doing the best I can to see that the needs of my children are met, whatever those needs might be ....and be the best wife possible. We are in it together afterall. Schmolland isn't ideal but it is filled with its own blessings and rewards. Sometimes they are just so very hard to see and appreciate. At my mom's house on Sunday, my brother was just pondering my life and said, "Nothing in your life is simple, is it?" It was such a sweet observation from my baby brother. I said, "No, everything is complicated and nothing is simple, but in the end it makes me a stronger person". I looked over and noticed mom looking a little choked up and just nodding her head.

Daisy, I guess my point to all of that is that we are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. If I had been given a peek into my future way back when, I would have been terrified and fully convinced that I could never do it, but I am doing it. We're all doing it. God is gracious and is with us every step of the way. If we will just persevere and keep doing what we know is right, without ever giving up....we will see the benefits and everything will turn out right in the end. Much love to you. I hope you find the strength that I know you have inside.


IWRBND, I will never see a slide the same either. (I'm just grateful it didn't happen in the Chic-fil-a! Could you imagine!?) Luckily we are having a serious rain downpour right now, so anything DH didn't clean well will be taken care of! It was def a rough event! A skid mark to end all skid marks!

There's only one day left of camp, but if you can get to my house by 7:45 am, you can be my guest at the mother''s brunch! I am sooo looking forward to it. They have treated us like Queen's! I've gotten to spend time w/a friend, gotten to know an acquaintance much better and met so many new people on top of the DIVA treatment! I never expected anything like this!

 

[iwrbnd]

KampfireKim, it's 7:40 here and I don't think I can get to South Carolina in the next 5 minutes!I'll just have to do my own diva treatment today which includes walking/running the dogs, swim lessons, loads of laundry and taking care of just about every kid that lives in my neighborhood! I don't know how I became the official daycare provider but it's been this way for 15 years and I just gave up! Yesterday there were 12 kids at my house all day and that's not unusual!I watch them come in my house like a line of ants! I guess kids aren't afraid to visit Schmolland!They are like foreign exchange students!

I also loved the encouragement you gave Daisy&Max (and me)! I often tell myself it will all make sense in the end! In all situations I am able to rest assured that God is in control but with my Schmutz kids it's hard. My two Schmutz boys struggle the most with being "other-oriented". We are constantly reminding them to think of others because it's not in their nature. I question how this could be God's plan when it goes against what we're commanded to do, which is love God and love your neighbor as yourself. I know we're not supposed to talk religion on this board, so forgive me, but teaching my boys to "love their neighbor" is hard! They are nice and obey the rules but they don't see a need in others and run to help them! On a bright note, maybe some of this is sinking in (after 17 years) because we were eating at my mom's last night during a tornado warning and my dad said "I should have tied the umbrella down." My DS17 (splashed with aspergers and swimming in the pool of ADD) got up and said "I'll do it for you!" My DH and I about died!!! Usually he will help when asked but never as is own idea! There is hope yet!!!

I hope everyone has a good day in Schmolland! Thanks to you all, I'm encouraged and plan to feel "failure free" today no matter what happens!

 

[toodycat]

Hi, everyone. I'm having a rough day. DS has gone to take the last of his finals sporting a celebratory black fedora, but next week he has all his state assessments. I so hope he's ready!

Feeling very sad because my best friend's husband (46) died in a car crash yesterday. She was up in New England visiting her mom, so she found out by phone last night. They had only been married a little over a year and they have a 7 month old infant. Suddenly, my life doesn't look so tough.

Wishing everyone love and strength.

 

[iwrbnd]

Hi, everyone. I'm having a rough day. DS has gone to take the last of his finals sporting a celebratory black fedora, but next week he has all his state assessments. I so hope he's ready!

Feeling very sad because my best friend's husband (46) died in a car crash yesterday. She was up in New England visiting her mom, so she found out by phone last night. They had only been married a little over a year and they have a 7 month old infant. Suddenly, my life doesn't look so tough.

Wishing everyone love and strength.

I'm so sorry about your friend's husband! That is my worst nightmare and definately puts our daily struggles into perspective! I will keep your friend in my prayers! Again, I'm so sorry!

 

[toodycat]

iwrnd---Thanks so much. Everyone who knew them is in a state of shock. I'm just looking at my husband and son and thinking how much I love them and how lucky I am.