Exchanging Gifts With Friends in High School

[Wish Upon A Star]

DD just tells me that 2 of her friends are buying her Xmas presents.

DD spends her money as soon as she gets it so she cannot "afford" to buy anyone anything.

Should I run out and get 2 presents? How can she accept a gift and not have nothing to give in return? It's not like I have a bunch of money left either.

Where does it end??

 

[DocRafiki]

She's in high school, not kindergarten. It's her responsibility, not yours. Do you want to teach her that she doesn't have to be responsible with her money because mommy will always come and save her? Maybe she will learn a lesson.

BTW, I think most people wouldn't expect anything in return. When I was in HS, I would make about 10-20 little trinket/gift boxes for people. It's cheap and fun. (and I sure don't remember going home with that many gifts, but that wasn't the point)

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Does she get an allowence? You could buy her the gifts (set a $$ limit) and then take it from her allowence.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

My 2 kids are both in high school. It is totally their responsibility if they want to exchange gifts. I know that DD does a lot of shopping in the dollar stare and does well there. One of her friends kitted scarfs for several of the girls.

If your DD can't afford gifts, that is her problem, not yours. I agree with DocRafiki.

 

[Kallison]

Tell her to bake some cookies or make some candy, or make homemade gift certificates for different stuff. She could make them a card about why they are a good friend. Or let her go shopping after X-mas for a New Year's gift when everything is dirt cheap. Shop for Hallmark ornaments when they are 50% off or more. I still have the Betsy Clark glass ornament my best friend in the 6th grade gave me. I think about her at least once a year when I decorate. How about a picture frame from the dollar store with their picture in it?

 

[skuttle]

My girlfriends and I always exchanged gifts in high school....there were 6 of us. It was never anything expensive...just a little something. I think we all used our own money.

 

[Meriweather]

Don't buy anything for her. It is up to her.

DD exchanged with quite a few in HS. Some had money, some didn't. Some she got presents from, some she didn't. It didn't matter to her, she just wanted to give her friends something.

One friend always made things.....very personal, cute memento type things and they were VERY appreciated by everyone.
And.....lots of time the presents are late, so she would still have time to do something like that.

 

[aprilgail2]

We used to all exchange tapes back in high school (it was pre-CD era!) and back then they were only around 7 or 8 bucks each. My 14 year old god daughter just went shopping for 4 of her firends and spent around 15-20 each- which with inflation from my time to now isn't to bad-she doesn't get an allowance but I give her money when I see her and she gets money each time her report card comes so she did have some of her own to spend but whatever she was short for gifts her mom and I gave her....it wouldn't be right for her to have people give her gifts and her not give anything in return.

 

[janette]

My 12yo DD did her shopping for her friends at a dollar store. She picked up a little purse, put some gel pens, hair clips, make-up and a little candy inside. Total cost was less the $5 each and they seemed to like them. She got gifts from some of them but not all but that didn't seem to matter to her. Since your DD is older I agree with the others, let her do what she can. That they gave her a gift doesn't mean she has to give them one.