ex husband vent

[Briar Rose 7457]

so yesterday I called my ex husband and left a message on his answering machine. now that the court has denied his motion to change custody (the court held that, even assuming everything my ex said was absolutely true, he had no basis to seek a change of custody), I thought it was time we started talking to each other about the children like rational human beings. ( I do admit, I tend to be a bit--- antagonistic -- when someone alleges I am unfit to raise my dd's and makes me spend thousands of dollars in attorneys fees and court costs to defend myself.)

the result of my reaching out to him?


more threats and harassment!


I had an order of protection against him a few years ago -- but OP's expire after one year. I may have to get it renewed.

no, it wasn't physical violence -- that G-d. But I have learned not to tell him where I work, because as soon as he finds out where I work, he calls my employer and tries to get me fired. he's done that at every job I've held in the 8+ years since I left him. what led to to the OP was when he called my employer and told him I was falsifying legal documents -- a no-no for anyone, but a big no-no for a lawyer. of course the allegation was false. that's why the court gave me an OP.

sigh. I was married to him for 7 years, and when I left him he said "you'll regret this. you know how viscious and vindictive I can and will be."


and that's the only promise he ever kept.

 

[Jeafl]

I'm sorry he's still giving you trouble. The only good thing is that usually what goes around comes around. Hopefully, nobody gets hurt in the meantime.

 

[Rajah]

I'm sorry.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

I just loved getting a fax in my office from that nutjob threatening to contact my emplyer again. Lord knows what lies he'd tell. I'm just so tired of this, you know?

 

[trayletha]

Could you spike his guns by having a talk with your boss or superviser before he starts trying to spread lies?

 

[jfulcer]

Originally posted by trayletha
Could you spike his guns by having a talk with your boss or superviser before he starts trying to spread lies?

I agree. Better to let them know ahead of time. Head em off at the pass. I'm sure your superiors would appreciate the heads up and would allow them the lattitude to respond with something appropriate.

Can you get the order of protection extended to contacting your employer?

 

[Pin Wizard]

So sorry for your grief he's giving you. Thanks for reminding me why I'm not looking for a second husband. Although most are good, you never know when you'll meet one like this. And apparently, you thought he was a good one or you wouldn't have married him in the first place.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

and now he's calling me and harassing me at work.


I knew there was a good reason I didn't tell him where I work. don't know how he found out.

 

[MICKEY88]

we've had a few situations like that where I work..and they appreciate it when the employee lets them know in advance, that way they are prepared to deal with the situation. and they are very protective of their employees..once the harassment starts at the workplace, they will take action, if neccessary they will involve a company attorney, because it is Now their business

 

[ripleysmom]

{{{HUGS}}} Robin.

 

[Jeafl]

Do you answer your own phone? If there is a receptionist or something, see if they can be instructed to not let any calls through from him. He sounds like a nutcase.

 

[Lucky4me]

He probably needed more time to get over his anger about what happened in court the other day. You should have waited until he contacted you. He most likely saw the message as a slap in the face. I'd call the cops and get another OP if necessary. You don't need him getting you fired. I'm sure your daughters told him where you worked, maybe inadvertantly.

You do have the fax as proof, right?
What a mess SB. But just think, a couple more years and you'll never have to talk to him. Now that the kids are almost grown my ex and I could go a long time without talking. I think the longest was 6 months. We get along okay, we just don't have anything to talk about when things are going good with the children.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

he is neither ssane nor rational.

I do answer my own phone. though I am going to make liberal use of caller ID for the time being.


I may also give his photo to corporate security. he's a teacher, school just ended and he's got time on his hands. who knows what he might do to embarass me at work.

 

[DonnaS]

I agree with Lucky4Me-- he probably needed more time and saw it as you rubbing it in. That certainly doesn't excuse his actions though.

DH's parents never talk to one another now that he is grown. That doesn't make it easy on him though.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Lucky and Donna, you might be right. I just wanted to move past it, but...

this isn't a good time of year for him. our wedding anniversary was June 28. and his mother died on June 25, 1994. he gets crazier than normal this time of year.


I figured out how he found out.


I faxed some documents to the dd's law guardian. the guardian submitted the documents to the court. he forgot to delete that strip at the top of the page showing the phone # of the fax machine I used to send the documents.

my lawyer is going to address this with my ex's lawyer. I hope we can nip this in the bud.

 

[Pete's Mom]

I think you tried to contact him too soon. He needs to cool off and lick his wounds for a little while.

 

[cgcw]

I'm sorry for what your going through. Reminds me of some of the tricks my ex used when we were going through our divorce. It's hard. I agree with the other -- maybe forewarn your employer so they will at least have a heads up.

 

[ChibiJones]

Another thought, you probably thought of this already though.

Can he get your work information from the Board of Bar Overseers? Here in MA, it's online. Anyone can look up a lawyer by name & get their office information.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

if he knew how to get info from the state bar in NY he would have done it 9 months ago, when I first starrted working here.

 

[doxdogy]

Is there a security guard at the entrance to your building? If so, make sure security gives them your ex-husband's picture. If you are able to get another order of protection, I would also give a copy of that to security. Ask them to call the police if he refuses to leave the premises.