Hi Everyone! Belated Happy Thanksgiving! Sounds like you all had wonderful holidays.....and great food! I was getting hungry just reading about everyone's menus!
We actually ordered our food from a restaurant - I know, I know - that's "cheating"! I OFFERED to cook, but my father said that it didn't make sense to have me do all that work, so we just ordered our turkey in (I had fish, though - I had to be different!) DF has been at his mother's house (which is about 110 miles south of where we live, on the border of NJ and DE), so I've had a nice, quiet weekend to myself, and was able to catch up on some things around the house. It's funny - I lived alone for so long that I had almost forgotten what it was like to be alone in the house, since DF moved in. When he first left, I didn't know what to do with myself! But I've gotten some productive things done - wrote and addressed all of our holiday cards (which is good, since Chanukah falls early this year!), made some photo collages that I've been meaning to work on for awhile, got a little bit of shopping done, worked on our wedding address file for the person who's going to address them, and got to see my best girlfriend from college, whom I hadn't seen in months! I also had some time to think and "get my head together". Things have been so hectic and unsettling with the upheaval at work - I really needed some time to just think about my life and what I want from it, re-prioritize, etc. I guess being an only child, I'm generally used to being "in my own head", and really need time to just sit and think, sometimes. I used to keep diaries as a child (until my mother read them - NICE) and found that to be very helpful. I started again as an adult, after my divorce when I was living alone, and found that to be a great release. Just as you say that music is really good for the soul, Helenabear (and I agree with you! Listening to music is another fantastic release for me, and it also helps me think and put things in perspective), I also think that writing is good for the soul and a very great source of expression and thought. Anyway, I haven't been keeping up with writing down my thoughts, since DF moved in - maybe I'll break out a journal and do some writing, later.
The holiday was all right - my father is still recovering from the hernia surgery which he had at the end of last month. So, he's kinda depressed (he's always kinda depressed, being chained to the house with my mother 24 -7). And my mother was her usual self.....she's still the same physically, and she's sort of talking to me - in a "formal" way, like a stranger. She's warmer to DF when he's there than she is to me - I joke with DF that she likes him better than me! My parents have their own issues - I'm working hard (in therapy and personally) to stop taking them on myself and internalizing them and believing that my parents' bad health or emotional states are my fault, somehow. I just have to accept that that's the way they are and I can only control the way I feel about and react toward the way that that they act or things that they say (or don't say!) to me - I can't control them or the way that they feel. I cheered my father up a little bit, by showing him our wedding invitation. But even then, I feel like he has mixed feelings, 'cause while he is very happy for us and looking forward to the wedding, he knows in his heart (even though he denies it sometimes) that my mother won't be able to be there. I don't know if he feels worse about her physically not being there with him or what other people will think about her not being there (I can't imagine what "bad" things they could think - she can't sit up or walk by herself - there's no way that she could be there). And maybe he feels guilty in a way (as do I) because he knows that it would be a lot easier emotionally (as my mother has the tendency to say nasty things to people - namely, my friends) and physically (as he would have to help her do everything and not be able to enjoy himself, since he'd be too busy worrying about her) not to have her there. I feel badly about it, too - I would want her there if she was supportive of - and frankly NICE TO - me. But she probably won't be able to come. Oops - I digress. Anyway, it was just my parents, my uncle, and me on Thanksgiving (as it has been for most holidays - now DF is there, too, except on rare occasions) Honestly - I'm glad it's over. Holidays have been especially stressful since my mother got sick, and particularly since she's stopped talking to me or pseudo-stopped talking to me. And I'm tired of feeling "guilty" for being happy, when I'm around her, or seeing how uncomfortable my father is because of her behavior - walking on eggshells.
Anyway, enough of that stuff! The wedding plans are going very well - thanks for asking! Everything has been bought, reserved, arranged, and (somewhat!) paid for - the only things that we have left to do are buy wedding bands and Frank has to figure out and buy whatever he's going to wear. We even have the invitations in our possession, 6 months ahead of time! So I think that we're in pretty good shape. I do think that the time will pass quickly, after the holidays - or at least I hope that it will! I especially want winter and the cold weather to pass quickly - we haven't had too much of that yet - it was 63 degrees, here, today!
Jstmee - thank God you went to Boston and know exactly what your treatment will be, now. Even though I'm sure that it's unsettling and frightening, it sounds like you have a great outlook and a wonderful family to support you and help you through this (and, of course, you have us, too!

) I just know that everything will go wonderfully and you will be successfully recovering and able to put this behind you very soon after. Please hang in there and know that you're treating this very early, are taking care of it responsibly and in an educated fashion, and that everything will go well. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, as always!
Angelina - I'm very impressed with your shopping efforts! Usually, I am finished early as well (especially since Chanukah falls at a different time of the month every year, and sometimes it's early, so I have to be prepared!)! I'm sure that it feels good knowing that it's all done. And glad to hear that things are getting more comfortable at home, too. It's wonderful that your DH takes time to be with your children and plans activities with them. I'm sorry that you have to go through the rough times. As I've said, I can sort of relate because my ex-husband was similar - he would also bellow about housework, etc. and not give me credit for everything that I did for us - in and out of the house. And he also had the propesity to give the silent treatment or go through yelling fits, occasionally - also because of the way that he grew up. It sounds like you are on top of everything, though, and dealing with everything beautifully. As you and Jstmee and SG have said, I can imagine what a great deal of work it is and how busy you are, caring for your children. But it's the most important and gratifying "job" in the world and it sounds like you're all doing amazingly! And it also sounds like (even though you may not always feel this way) that you all have achieved a great balance in your lives, in terms of taking care of your children and grandchildren, your homes, your spouses, and yourselves! I agree with Helenabear - if one is able to stay home with her children, that's definitely the best (and most rewarding) thing to do. I also had the benefit of having my mother home when I got home from school (notwithstanding the way that she treats me now, or treated me sometimes then, I realize as an adult how lucky I was that my mother was there to pick me up from school or when I got home, etc.), and that was a very good thing. I hope that when I have children, I will be able to stay home with them - at least for awhile. It's interesting to hear you say that you miss working outside of the home - I fantasize about being a stay at home mom! Listening to your experiences gives me some new perspective on the topic. I guess that there are benefits to being a working mom and different benefits to being a stay at home mom! Regardless, you are both great moms and SG is a great mom and grandmom, and that's the most important thing!
Helenabear - you are definitely multi-talented! Please - braiding a challah is easy?? I would think that that would be the hardest part! It sounds like you are not only a talented musician (I can't believe that you began playing guitar so recently and you are already able to not only play a full song, but also sing simultaneously! And I'm sure that that's not the only song that you know how to play!) but also a great cook! I have never cooked a full turkey before (heck, until DF moved in, I never really cooked ANYTHING substantial before!) - that is a feat in and of itself! I have to hand it to all of you ladies for being able to do that - whether it came out of the oven on time or not!
Webmaster CC - thanks for dropping in! It's so wonderful that you have been able to go to WDW so often! I'm sure that you are working on many of these trips, but what a wonderful location in which to work! Or on the cruise ships! I'm sure that even while you're training, it's pleasant and happy just being aboard the ship or in the parks or resorts! You'll have to drop in and tell us all about DIS CON, too! I can't wait to hear about it! I'm sure that everyone will have a great time! I wish that we were all there, too - can't wait to see pictures!
SG - As soon as I finish this never-ending post, I will hop over to the Trip Reports Board and read your entries! Looking forward to hearing more details about your trip! Sounds like you and your family had a great holiday, too!
Hope that you're all having a great night! I will join you all on your tour of holiday decorations - just let me find my shoes! Then maybe a nice bubble bath in the Suite - sounds like a good idea, Angelina! Take care, thanks for listening, and talk to you soon!
