Everyone's getting married!

[BrerLizzie]

I just graduated this month, now three of my friends are engaged! I'm not even talking about so-and-so from math class. These are people I hang out with on a regular basis.
The first couple I found out about both graduated with me. They've been going out for around a year I think.
The second couple I know only the guy. He graduated a year ahead of me and the girl is graduating next year. They've been going out a year. This guy was my best friend when we were little. We were always together doing something dumb.
The third couple I know only the girl. She graduated a year ahead of me. She's one of my best friends and I didn't even know she was going out with this guy untill she came over and told me she was engaged to him!

I feel sort of weird! Do a lot of people just get engaged right after high school? I haven't even had a boyfriend yet and now I look around and everyone is getting married!

 

[NewJersey]

Wow, I just graduated college, and not one of my friends, or anyone even I knew from HS have gotten engaged. A few friends have talked about it because they know they'll marry their current bf (as do I), but nowhere close to being engaged yet as we feel we're too young and not ready, emotionally and financially.

 

[minkydog]

I graduated in 1974, a time when it was the norm for girls to get married before 20. I was only one of 2 girls from my whole graduating class who went to college and many of my friends thought I just couldn't grow up Unfortunately, many of those early marriages failed with the reality of raising families, poor jobs, no higher education, and financial strains.

I'm sure it's puzzling to see your peers making such dramatic plans. Try not to panic. What's right for them may be wrong for you.Sometimes people marry right out of high school because they don't know what they're supposed to do. They're in love and it seems like the next logical step. Or they're not really in love,but they like the feelings of belonging with someone and may be a little afraid of the unknown, so they get married thinking it will fix everything. Undoubtedly, some of these are true love matches and last a life-time. But for too many, it's playing house and the marriage doesn't withstand the rigors of growing out of adolescence and being an adult.

 

[sajetto]

Well, not everyone I know got married right out of high school, but most got married 4 years later right out of college.

 

[Stacerita]

Not many people I gradutated with got married right out of high school. There were a few marreid "while" in high school. A half dozen couples I believe. And they all had kids long before graduation.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

Almost all my college friends got married within a year of graduating college. Pretty much everyone I know married by age 27, as that seemed to be some sort of universal "cut-off" age. There was a lot of pressure to marry, though most of it was "unsaid". Everyone understood that you MUST marry by around 27 or there is something wrong with you, like you are ugly and unlovable or something!! Ridiculous in my opinion, but that's the reality of the social pressure on women. God forbid you actually want to remain single!

Only good thing is, most of my friends who married right out of college all have stayed married, and have kids and houses now, and seem to have it all.

 

[WDWAurora]

I remember that exact thing happening when I graduated 6 years ago. One girl even had to have her parents sign for the marriage, as she turned 18 in July, but got married on June 30th, so she wasn't of legal age yet. She's still married, but most of those couples aren't. They actually are just now having a kid, but most of the other couples had kids way earlier. I was more shocked by the number having kids. I'm a newlywed now and I can't even fathom already having a kid at my age. I still feel like graduation from high school was yesterday!

Anyway, I do think it's common, especially the more rural the area. I wouldn't worry too much about it, because soon you'll find that the married young crowd is pretty small, especially if you go to college. There it will feel like nobody is married, if that makes any sense.

 

[helenabear]

Nope, no pressure felt here to get married and hardly a soul I know even was engaged right after HS (that I went to HS with). I know I got engaged when I was 20 and in my third year of college. My DH and I had been dating about 1.5 years.

Most of the people I know who got engaged w/in a year after graduation never got married (these were people I met in college, not friends from HS)

In reality very few of my friends have gotten married and I am 29

 

[Jibberty]

I remember being back home the summer after my freshman year in college and my best friend from HS was at a loss...wondering what to do with her life since the rest of us were going off to college and she was living at home and going to tech school. She didn't have the parties and independence we had. She was friends with a guy in her class, but there was nothing romantic. She even said, "if we were dating, I'd be embarrassed to be seen with him." Then one day they came to see me while I was working and she showed me an engagement ring. I was stunned. I was asked to be the MOH and I agreed. I even had her wedding shower up at school with my friends there, since she still didn't seem to have a social life outside him.

They were married the next summer and I tried to keep in touch. I came home one weekend so she and I could spend some time together and when I called, was told she had gone camping. I kept trying to call her, but never got through. Last I heard they were still together, had two children, and were still living with her parents. This was 14 years ago.

It is confusing when your HS friends marry so young, but just keep doing what feels right to you, and pray that if they ask you to be in the wedding, you don't have to wear something hideous with a huge butt bow and enormous rhinestone brooch. <<shudder>>

 

[RadioNate]

I only knew of one couple that got married right out of HS. They were divorced by our 5 year class reunion.

Don't worry about it at all. You have pleanty of time. I have friends in their 30's who are just now getting married.

 

[GraysMom]

Please don't worry about becoming the only nonmarried person in your circle. I am extremely picky (in many areas, not just guys) and couldn't see the point of dating a person who wasn't someone I could see marrying in the future. I met my husband in college (as did a lot of our other friends) and we waited till a year after we had both graduated (he's a year younger than me)to get married. Two of my brothers, ages 24 and 28 are really only on their first very serious girlfriend (and the 28 yo is a cute dentist-a very good catch ) so I guess they're pretty picky too. The selection of eligible bachelors in college was SO much larger than HS it wasn't even funny. Enjoy this time when you are able to make decisions that make YOU the most happy, once you're married you'll have someone else's feelings to consider.

GraysMom

 

[TDC Nala]

Everyone understood that you MUST marry by around 27 or there is something wrong with you, like you are ugly and unlovable or something!! Ridiculous in my opinion, but that's the reality of the social pressure on women. God forbid you actually want to remain single!

I'm 41, I think society has finally given up on me. Now it sort of pretends I don't exist. I'm not sure whether that's better or not.