Ever Been Kind of Insulted By a Christmas Gift?

[cbg1027]

When I was 14 my mother gave me an insert for my daily planner (as in written calendar before we used our phones).
It was for tracking your period. She did this in front of a group of about 10 people, on Christmas morning. I was mortified and started crying. What teenager wants to talk about their menstruation in front of their father and brother!
The next year, my SIL gave me ANOTHER calendar for tracking my period. She said " I thought you had matured and would appreciate it better now."
*eye roll*

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

My father had a live in girlfriend who did not really care for his kids, meaning me, my family, and also my brother. I was pretty heavy at that time and she bought me a bathrobe. I got home, opened the gift, and could practically fit the entire family in the bathrobe. I got the hint that she thought I was huge. She did this a few more times with clothing items. My father had her buy gifts for my kids and it was just cheap sweat pants that fell apart after one wearing. He gave her the money to guy the gifts. She bought her grandchildren designer jeans. I just decided to ignore her and the gifts. I would be cordial to her but that was it.

I'd be so tempted (if your father had no idea she was doing this) to wear the clothes the next time you got together with your father and said girlfriend, especially if they ripped after you washed them, and thank her in front of your father for her thoughtfulness towards you and your children, knowing how important your relationship with your father was.

When my dad remarried, he was responsible for our gifts and his wife was responsible for her blood family gifts. I always tried to get them all nice things even though my budget was really tight in those days. Her family... not so much, but after the first year, one of her daughters-in-law paid attention. I didn't care so much about me, but for my kids it was important. The one thing my dad got all the grandkids was a $100 Texas scratch pad. They all loved those scratch pads.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Insulted, no... a gift is just that.. a gift. However, I’ve taken anything not my taste or to my liking and either donated or ditched it.

 

[lifesavacation]

I insulted a friend with a gift once. I had the best of intention and it was given with no hidden message behind it. We enjoy going out to eat with them and I bought them a Best Cheap Eats in Portland book. She took it as a message about being a teacher and not earning as much money as us. Certainly not my intention.

 

[Donald13]

When I was 14 my mother gave me an insert for my daily planner (as in written calendar before we used our phones).
It was for tracking your period. She did this in front of a group of about 10 people, on Christmas morning. I was mortified and started crying. What teenager wants to talk about their menstruation in front of their father and brother!
The next year, my SIL gave me ANOTHER calendar for tracking my period. She said " I thought you had matured and would appreciate it better now."
*eye roll*

That’s so inappropriate. That can be done privately not out in the open like that.

 

[Ladyandthepuppies]

I have actually been insulted by *too many* gifts- - - hear me out!!! My one friend is a thoughtful gift giver and we have children that are the same ages. For my children she will send Valentine’s Day gifts, St. Patrick’s Day gifts, Easter gifts, 4th of July gifts, Thanksgiving gifts, and Christmas gifts (oh, and bday gifts). I cannot handle reciprocating all of that!!! Too much time, money, effort, etc. I know she’s just trying to be nice but it started to feel insulting that she had the expectation that we’d exchange gifts for every single holiday. It made me feel like my efforts were not enough since they didn’t include 5 extra gifts per year. I used to get so stressed out about it that I stopped all but bday and Christmas gifts. There isn’t a way to have the conversation without hurting her feelings so I was hoping she would get the hint and also stop... but she hasn’t. So now she is probably insulted that we don’t show our love on the holidays but I just can’t deal with it.

 

[shoney]

I watched my mom insult my sister in law twice...years apart. First year, she gave her a large philosophy beauty gift set (something we would love) but SIL was take back by the names like hope in a jar... her face was horrified Lol

another year she gave her one of those foot care buffers with polish and lotions etc. again something she gave me and I loves. SIL was like”oh do I need this”...


told my mother no more beauty products for her she just doesn’t get it.

 

[mom2rtk]

I watched my mom insult my sister in law twice...years apart. First year, she gave her a large philosophy beauty gift set (something we would love) but SIL was take back by the names like hope in a jar... her face was horrified Lol

another year she gave her one of those foot care buffers with polish and lotions etc. again something she gave me and I loves. SIL was like”oh do I need this”...


told my mother no more beauty products for her she just doesn’t get it.

Part of gift giving is thinking about how it will be received. Everyone is different. While I’m not a big fan of those kind of gifts, I wouldn’t be insulted either.

 

[Disneylover99]

I insulted a friend with a gift once. I had the best of intention and it was given with no hidden message behind it. We enjoy going out to eat with them and I bought them a Best Cheap Eats in Portland book. She took it as a message about being a teacher and not earning as much money as us. Certainly not my intention.

That sounds like a great gift to me.
Some people are just easily offended or overly sensitive I guess,

 

[shoney]

Part of gift giving is thinking about how it will be received. Everyone is different. While I’m not a big fan of those kind of gifts, I wouldn’t be insulted either.

you are right. The ladies in my family love that kind of stuff and my mother thought she would too. The names of the products are silly. Not meant to be insulting but that’s not how SIL took it.

 

[sailorstitch]

I watched my mom insult my sister in law twice...years apart. First year, she gave her a large philosophy beauty gift set (something we would love) but SIL was take back by the names like hope in a jar... her face was horrified Lol

another year she gave her one of those foot care buffers with polish and lotions etc. again something she gave me and I loves. SIL was like”oh do I need this”...


told my mother no more beauty products for her she just doesn’t get it.

I call those "stereotypical gifts". They're what society says women are supposed to want. They're not as insulting as some of the gifts I've received, but I still find them irritating. Everything I get one I just want to look at the person and ask, "Have you met me?"

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I call those "stereotypical gifts". They're what society says women are supposed to want.

I think that's more like it.

Almost every year my mother-in-law puts in stockings for her two daughters and myself nail care stuff. I don't really use that stuff and funny enough she's always exclaiming how she loves my nails. I don't use nail files (which she knows but I also know she's forgotten that she knows), I most def. don't use cuticle cutters/pushers which is one of the things this year, I don't use the 4 way nail buffers, etc. I never hold it against her though. She doesn't want me to feel left out for stocking stuff gifts that are more geared towards women but it's never really been my thing for those particular things.

 

[Donnainnj]

A very padded bra as a 14 year old.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I can't really say I've been insulted by any one particular gift. Disappointed sure but not actually insulted.

Some of these examples really are insulting because you can tell there's an underlying reason to give them, overt, passive aggressive, etc but def., an underlying reason.

I think most gifts that people perceive as insulting are more like "missed the mark" type gifts. I've been given gifts that are so far off the mark of my style it's not even funny but then again I know that the person's heart was in it (in my cases) and were more thinking "I like it, they'll like it too" when truthfully that just isn't the case. I'm sure I've given gifts like that too

 

[bcla]

you are right. The ladies in my family love that kind of stuff and my mother thought she would too. The names of the products are silly. Not meant to be insulting but that’s not how SIL took it.

My wife overthinks how a gift will be received based on things like the name of the product. I get that philosophy is supposed to be silly or whimsical. Once she bought some perfume on special as potential gifts. Then she started thinking about it because the brand name was "Poison". She was worried that it might send the wrong message, although she gave them away anyways.

 

[bcla]

I can't really say I've been insulted by any one particular gift. Disappointed sure but not actually insulted.

Some of these examples really are insulting because you can tell there's an underlying reason to give them, overt, passive aggressive, etc but def., an underlying reason.

I think most gifts that people perceive as insulting are more like "missed the mark" type gifts. I've been given gifts that are so far off the mark of my style it's not even funny but then again I know that the person's heart was in it (in my cases) and were more thinking "I like it, they'll like it too" when truthfully that just isn't the case. I'm sure I've given gifts like that too

Depends on what it is. I got a present from my cousin once since she knew I was an Oakland A's fan. It was literally six different caps from Nike with variations on the team logo. I thought it was fun. Someone else might not get her humor.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Depends on what it is. I got a present from my cousin once since she knew I was an Oakland A's fan. It was literally six different caps from Nike with variations on the team logo. I thought it was fun. Someone else might not get her humor.

Depends on what?

 

[bcla]

Depends on what?

In my case it was a gag gift in that she gave a bunch of similar items. It was meant to be some sort of sight gag that it was so many items of the same type.

 

[bcla]

We had a company party once where it was a bunch of really weird gifts. We were told that they shouldn't cost more than $15 and that there would be up to a single "steal" per item at the option of anyone who got to draw an item later. It wasn't targeted towards myself, but somehow I ended up with "body tea". It was literally a bunch of big tea bags meant for use in a bath.

I gave chocolate. The person who got it tried to avoid having anyone else take it by "marking" it. I won't get into how that was done.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

In my case it was a gag gift in that she gave a bunch of similar items. It was meant to be some sort of sight gag that it was so many items of the same type.

Oh well then that's not what I'm referring to. You knew it was a gag gift or at least you understood her humor. I'm talking about like a purse that the gift giver loves the style so they assume the recipient will too or a decor item that is to their taste so they assume it's also the recipient's. It's usually innocent in intent just that the gift giver is taking only their style into consideration assuming because they like it others will too even when usually it's way off so you're left with a gift that is just not your thing at all.