Etiquette question

[PrincessKitty1]

DH and I were over at a friend's house for dinner and socializing one night (four of us total). The hostess left and went into another room a couple of times for about 15 minutes each time to chat with friends who called on the phone.

If it was my house, I'd let the machine pick up or let the person know I was in the middle of something and that I would call them back. But maybe in this day of everybody expecting instant communication, I am the one behind the times?? I wasn't annoyed about it (the conversation was flowing between the rest of us so it's not like there were big gaps in the flow of the evening), just surprised.

What do you think is good manners?

 

[diznygirl]

I'm old-fashioned and think something like that would be rude. The only time I would answer the phone while I had guests was if I was expecting a call for some reason (illness in the family, plans for the next day..) and I would apologize profusely for it and explain the reason.

 

[DawnCt1]

Terrible manners. If my answering machine was audible, I would pick up the phone so the message isn't shared with the entire room and just say, I have company now, can I call you back tomorrow?

 

[JessicaR]

Since she did it a couple of times and did go into another room are you sure she was just chatting? Is it possible is was an important call that was pressing?

If it was just to chat and socialize she should have been doing that at her dinner party!

There have been times that I needed to take calls while we had people over and the calls could not wait until later.

 

[TanyaLovesPooh]

We don't answer the phone when company is over or when we are sitting at the dinner table. I also don't answer or talk on my cell phone when I am dealing with a cashier in the check out line...just seems rude to me. Of course people do have emergencies and have to answer.

 

[alexandria674]

Unless there is an emergency and she needs to stay by the phone, it is rude to answer the phone for "chit chat"

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Etiquette has not kept up with technology.

I think most people have no idea they are being rude because they do things without putting themselves in their guests' point of view.

I think the best hosts aren't necessarily the ones with the emily post book grafted onto their brain cells-they're the ones who are always thinking about what makes their guests feel happy and at home.

 

[FireDancer]

Who has a house phone anymore anyways? My phone would ring and I'd let it go to voicemail and then text back the caller with something like "I have people over, is it important?". I don't speak to anyone who still has a house phone for anything other than internet service.

 

[bicker]

I think people generally choose their feelings and reactions. One of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quotes, while not directly related, echoes this sentiment. Do you take offense? Or do you read this as a sign of familiarity bordering on familial-ity? If the former, you'd interpret the incident bitterly. If the latter, then you'd interpret the incident warmly. Which would you prefer?

 

[ols386]

If I had company, I wouldn't just go off in another room and have a conversation(s) with someone over the phone, unless it was an emergency.

 

[KAMLEM]

Who has a house phone anymore anyways?

Plenty of people still have house phones. Only about 20% have just cell phones, while 60% have cell phones and house phones.

 

[ckay87]

It actually wouldn't bother me, although technically it's probably impolite. Would only bother me if, when she went to talk on the phone, it actually left me all alone for extended periods. Doesn't sound like that was the case - you had other people to keep you company. Maybe that is what was in the back of her mind.

 

[rie'smom]

If it was chit chat, it's rude.

 

[mhsjax]

Who has a house phone anymore anyways? My phone would ring and I'd let it go to voicemail and then text back the caller with something like "I have people over, is it important?". I don't speak to anyone who still has a house phone for anything other than internet service.

we still have a house phone, if you want to use your cell phone in my neighborhood, you have to go outside, not willing to do that everytime I am on the phone. And no, we do not live in the sticks, just terrible coverage out here.

 

[Nie0214]

I don't even like when I'm out with a friend and they text someone while at dinner (unless it's someone who is joining us and looking for us, something like that). Seriously, it can wait.

 

[PatsMom]

I would never take a non-emergency call while I was entertaining guests. That is what voicemail is for. I would consider it to be rude. It would be one thing to pick up the phone long enough to ascertain who the caller is and to say that you are busy at the moment and will call back tomorrow. But to chate for 15 minutes is rude.

 

[C.Ann]

I can only speak for myself, so here is how it goes.. When I have guests, I allow my answering machine to pick up all calls.. If it sounds like an emergency, I will answer the phone.. If not, I return the phone calls after my guests have left and it's a convenient time for me..

 

[Disney Doll]

Being on any kind of phone for any reason other than a true emergency when you are in the company of other people is rude.

If I received that call, if it were not an emergency I would have said "I have people over so I will call you back". It would have been a 10 second conversation.

Cell phones have made us all think that we need to be accessible & respond to calls 24/7. It's ridiculous and rude.

 

[MusiqChic99]

Im 27 and I have friends who are in their 30s who do this to me all the time...especially when we are out at dinner. I dont mind if someone answers their phone but to have a 15 minute conversation is just rude. A simple, I'm having dinner can I call you back isn't rude!!! I would completely understand if someone was "busy" and couldn't talk. I don't get it.

If the hostess was having a casual conversation while her guests are the other room, I think it is rude. I dont think it's rude she answered the phone...just that she didn't tell the person she couldn't talk at the moment.

 

[ckquan]

I agree with everyone here that leaving your guests to have a casual conversation with someone else is rude. However we don't know why she did that, right? Was she expecting the calls? Was it urgent? Perhaps next time you can gently ask, "is everything ok?" "is this a bad time for us to here?" In my experience, asking these types of questions can clue the person in that you notice their absence. They may either apologize and explain or they may stop the rude behavior. Hope this helps.