Escape weddings/vow renewals who did you invite?

[Desnik]

Really, I should ask how did you choose between family members?

I'm having a bit of a family dilemma. DH and I are planning a vow renewal and were going to go all out and have a Wishes DFTW, but are now considering an Escape DFTW.(lot's of family drama) I know the Escape weddings allow for 20 people including the bride/groom and that kids, even infants count. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I am having an issue with my older sister. Even though things aren't that great between us I really can't imagine her not being there. With that said, I loath her new husband.(they were just married in Dec) He and I had a huge fight and I really don't see myself speaking to him ever again. There is no way I would want him at my vow renewal. I need advice on how to handle that. My sister also has 3 kids(from a previous marriage) so she couldn't just come by herself. I think she will be upset if I don't invite them all. What would you do?

Thanks for any advice!

 

[alissa2008]

Hm. We're having a similar debacle with our guest list -- after we announced the destination wedding was going to be "intimate" (our 10 immediate family members and my 2 grandmas) everyone whined that they would LOVE to come... So, I told them the last 6 seats were first come first serve, so if they gave me a definite, they got a seat until they were gone... then I told the left over people that they were still welcome to come to disney and celebrate at our reception, but that due to the cost of upgrading the wedding to accommodate everyone, that we would be keeping it intimate. No one minded, and in fact we have almost 40 people coming to our reception!!

As for the touchy subject with the fam -- maybe you could encourage your sister to bring her kids on the vacation but leave them with the disney-sitters for the hour of the ceremony... kind of the best of both worlds...it takes a little nerve to come out and say that there isn't enough room for them, but I found that my family was more than understanding about the $6,000 cost difference...

Not sure about your sis' husband -- but I say, it's your day, and you shouldn't invite people just because you feel obligated to, especially if you don't like them. This is kind of tricky in your case, because it is pretty rude to invite your sister and not her husband...you may just have to suck it up - and warn your sister that he better be on his best behavior!