Enriching our vacation through spreading Pixie Dust...ideas?

[cabanafrau]

So... on the off chance any of us commits an accidental act of generosity, we must all be very careful not to think about it afterward or enjoy it in any way. Gotcha!

IMO there is a difference in simply conducting yourself courteously just because that's the expectation a person sets for him or herself and making some type of grandiose gesture for what I consider selfish reasons and reflecting on it like the cat who drank the cream. I was taught generosity is giving with no expectations and that's how I've taught my own daughters.

I have actually thought more than once over the past few years about a nice family we met at World of Color. My thoughts don't dwell on our act of kindness and how swell we should feel, but I've wondered how big the girls are getting now and I've wondered more than once the past two winters if it was warmer or colder here in Michigan or there in Winnipeg.

 

[pfalcioni]

So... on the off chance any of us commits an accidental act of generosity, we must all be very careful not to think about it afterward or enjoy it in any way. Gotcha!

I'll admit it's a little crazy bringing this up on a website dedicated to the minutiae of planning a Theme Park vacation, but there is such a thing as overthinking and over-planning. When good thoughts and deeds get in the way of a normal family vacation, that would be an indication that someone is taking it too far. Sure, there are vacations that are built around doing for others, trips to disaster areas where you're helping build schools or homes, or a week helping Habitat for Humanity, but bringing stuff just to give away at WDW and planning who and when to give it away? I think that's where most people will react with a headshake and "what the heck?". Not because it's weird to be kind to other people, but it's weird to pre-plan the kindness.

 

[GPC0321]

Not because it's weird to be kind to other people, but it's weird to pre-plan the kindness.

Why is it weird to pre-plan kindness?

 

[Hrhpd]

No one's "requiring" anything. If I choose to do something something nice for a stranger, that doesn't put any obligation on you to do the same.

As for how did it happen... A Disney vacation has always been a hot, thirsty, frustrating experience for guests. I vividly remember my son, age seven, in the middle of a Christmas party with people dancing and singing all around him, wailing at the top of his lungs, "I'm not HAPPY!"

I sincerely appreciate every small gesture, even if it's just a smile, anyone's ever given me or my children, at Disney or outside Disney. Stickers, pins, buttons, small toys, magazines for bored children, water... Even when it was sweets that the children weren't allowed to eat, we were always still grateful for the kind thought and we made sure people knew it.

Our first trip to Disney, over a decade ago:

If some kind person had wanted to try to cheer that boy up, we would not have been offended. Heck, they might have had more luck than we did!

Ok, I will bite - why in the world would you spend thousands of dollars vacationing at a place that you considered hot and frustrating and your children were so miserable you were grateful if strangers could cheer them up because you were having no luck?

 

[Hrhpd]

We started doing random acts of kindness in the parks to honor a young boy from my husband's hometown who passed away in an accident- http://www.doit4derek.com/
We usually buy extra pins on ebay and when we are talking in line with families or waiting for something and see a child that needs some pixie dust - we pay it forward. They have been some of my favorite interactions with other guests and favorite memories from our trips! In fact we need to get our extra pins ordered soon for our upcoming trip! Makes us feel good and hopefully they do too!
I like the idea of the glow sticks too! Other fun things that don't take up much space would be lanyards, stickers, temporary tattoos... Have fun sharing the magic!

What criteria do you use to determine a stranger on an expensive vacation needs pixie dust?

 

[Hrhpd]

if you have extra dining credits at the end of your trip, go up to someone who is about to pay for counter service or for a snack offer to pay for them.

Let them know that happy to share the meal credits since you're going home soon and the credits will just go to waste otherwise.

That is a very nice nice random act of kindness, not some preplanned activity designed and performed when you need to make you feel better because you were stressed.

 

[Hrhpd]

Last year, my grandparents shared a story from their church. One couple wanted to do away with the Angel Tree (for those not aware, this is a Christmas program where you select a tag corresponding to a wish from a less fortunate child, purchase the gift, and return it to the church) because they felt it "wasn't personal enough." They wanted their children to "directly experience the gratitude" of the recipient. They couldn't understand why everyone else seemed to think this was a terrible idea. Indeed, why shouldn't the recipient children have been forced to say "thank you" to their "holiday saviors" so that the givers could feel good about themselves?

That's what I thought of when I read the OP.

This says it the best of all! True kindness and charity is not done for your own self-satisfaction.

Not to mention that you most likely won't find any of the families vacationing in Disney World also with an ornament on the Angel tree. The OP would be much better off donating that Harry Potter wand to somebody on an Angel tree than handing it out at Universal.

 

[Hrhpd]

Why is it weird to pre-plan kindness?

We are back to what is the definition of kindness. 88% of the people reading these threads have identified the OP's type of "kindness" as creepy.

 

[DisneyOma]

I posted this earlier but will ask again.

What do you see Disney doing wrong in that a very expensive vacation is not magical enough? Why do you think that stranger's children need your help in making their vacation more magical?

Why can't they just enjoy feeling happy about interacting with others? Why can't someone enhance another person's experience? Do people really want to travel in a bubble? The OP stated that they like to do these thoughtful gestures when things seem to be going wrong. We've had some down moments at WDW, like when the parade was cancelled due to a storm, even though we had been waiting for over an hour. Or when my kids waited in line for almost an hour for a water slide at Blizzard Beach, only to have to walk back down when lightening was near. Having someone approach and dust us with a little Pixie Dust would have been nice, even though we were able to move on and enjoy our time at WDW.

In the past, my daughter has handed out silly bandz to kids in line, etc. She asked some little girls in princess dresses to sign her autograph book too!

 

[Magpie]

Ok, I will bite - why in the world would you spend thousands of dollars vacationing at a place that you considered hot and frustrating and your children were so miserable you were grateful if strangers could cheer them up because you were having no luck?

Because we also had an awesome time!

Not every moment is going to be sunshine and rainbows at Disney. And I'm always grateful when people are nice to me or my kids. We don't need to be "miserable" to be grateful. Heck, we don't need to be having an a bad moment of any sort! I've been grateful to elderly folks who decide to reward my kids for smiling, or being well behaved, or just being darn cute. I've been grateful to other parents who share a moment with me.

Gratitude is a pretty constant state of mind for me, to be honest. I truly believe that no one gets ahead without a helping hand. (Let's just say I'm not a big fan of Ayn Rand. )

My kids are grown now, but I do like the OP's idea of making an effort to think of others and of making it a teaching moment for your kids. Not because these other folks are "in need" and we want to feel superior to them, but because it's never wrong to take a moment of your time to spread a little happiness. Even to rich people. Even to privileged children. People have done it for us, and it's nice to be able to pass that on to others. (I'm reminded of the "Teddy Bear Lady" at the Grand Floridian, and how many people were touched by her generosity while others questioned her sanity or were offended that she was giving away toys to children, and thought she should be banned from the premises.)

It's pretty clear in this thread that there's such a vast gap in perception that it's impossible to come to consensus on this issue. I do hope, however, that people who enjoy creating pixie dust, continue to do so. And those who don't, never cross paths with someone who does. Then we'll ALL be happy!

 

[Hrhpd]

How can you discern the difference? You ask the parents! It's not hard.

And I find it intriguing that it appears you're assuming that the desire to be generous can only come from a position of superiority (vis a vis, your "colonials versus indigenous peoples" metaphor). Is that really how you feel about the people you've been generous to in your life? Does being generous make you feel superior? Because I definitely don't think that when someone is kind of us, that means they're putting themselves up on a pedestal above me and my kids. I think they're just nice people.

But, I can definitely see how, if every act of generosity made me feel like I was acting out the "white man's burden", I'd be VERY reluctant to be both giver and recipient of such kindness. So, if that's the case, I do understand where you are coming from.



Well, as you said... you're a child therapist. I work with children with learning disabilities. I think "preplanning to bestow benevolence" and "paying it forward" are things that have likely become second nature to us, and folks like us.

People at Disney need benevolence bestowed upon them? Again, random acts of kindness are wonderful, but to make a plan to bestow benevolence on strangers:

Again, I will ask the OP...

What do you think Disney is doing so wrong in that you think a Disney vacation is not magical enough? Why do you feel that you have to step in to bestow benevolence on those poor suckers whom you have declared need pixie dust? Why do you feel that their parents spending thousands and thousands of dollars to bring them to the happiest place is not enough? And that you just know that there are going to be these miserable, poor children on vacation that you have to collect used hoodies, t-shirts and plushies to bestow upon these poor beings to give them a little Pixie dust?

Do you do this for every vacation? Do you collect used sand toys for the upper crust on the Riviera? Would you hand out used t-shirts to the poor patrons in the lobby of the Ritz Carlton in NYC? Disney is a luxury vacation. Why in the world would you think children need used items in the guise of charity?

 

[DisneyOma]

People at Disney need benevolence bestowed upon them? Again, random acts of kindness are wonderful, but to make a plan to bestow benevolence on strangers:

Again, I will ask the OP...

What do you think Disney is doing so wrong in that you think a Disney vacation is not magical enough? Why do you feel that you have to step in to bestow benevolence on those poor suckers whom you have declared need pixie dust? Why do you feel that their parents spending thousands and thousands of dollars to bring them to the happiest place is not enough? And that you just know that there are going to be these miserable, poor children on vacation that you have to collect used hoodies, t-shirts and plushies to bestow upon these poor beings to give them a little Pixie dust?

Do you do this for every vacation? Do you collect used sand toys for the upper crust on the Riviera? Would you hand out used t-shirts to the poor patrons in the lobby of the Ritz Carlton in NYC? Disney is a luxury vacation. Why in the world would you think children need used items in the guise of charity?

Nothing has to be wrong to do something fun and kind.

 

[Hrhpd]

Nothing has to be wrong to do something fun and kind.

I agree. But it has to be fun and kind for both parties.

Most have stated that little stuff like children sharing their extra glow sticks or stickers while sitting on the curb before a parade is fun and kind.

Almost everybody agrees that the random acts of kindness like using extra meal credits to for somebody at the end of your vacation or handing over an arcade card with money still on it is fun and kind.

Most people have indicated that they would not find somebody offering them used clothing or toys at Disney World fun nor kind. Most have said that would be gross or creepy.

And most have indicated that planning on giving events, seeking out the "perfect" recipient, just to make yourself happy when you have had a bad day is about as far from fun and kind as you can get. It is self-serving.

 

[GPC0321]

I agree. But it has to be fun and kind for both parties.

Most have stated that little stuff like children sharing their extra glow sticks or stickers while sitting on the curb before a parade is fun and kind.

Almost everybody agrees that the random acts of kindness like using extra meal credits to for somebody at the end of your vacation or handing over an arcade card with money still on it is fun and kind.

Most people have indicated that they would not find somebody offering them used clothing or toys at Disney World fun nor kind. Most have said that would be gross or creepy.

And most have indicated that planning on giving events, seeking out the "perfect" recipient, just to make yourself happy when you have had a bad day is about as far from fun and kind as you can get. It is self-serving.

Why are you so bent on trying to be right in this discussion? Quoting your little poll statistic in an effort to prove that the OP's gestures are "gross" or "creepy", refusing to accept that not everyone agrees with you or the 88% who share your view. I haven't seen or participated in the poll because I think it's pointless. I don't care if 100% of the responders agree with you, I don't and neither do others here. And the OP doesn't have to justify, clarify, or answer anything about what she and her family choose to do on their vacation.

 

[cabanafrau]

Why is it weird to pre-plan kindness?

Not all kindness, but IMO it is weird to pre-plan this "random" kindness to strangers vacationing in the Happiest Place on Earth.

If you look out your window this evening and realize that your elderly neighbor's lawn is buried under a thick blanket of leaves they cannot manage and decide to clean it up for them tomorrow morning that is a pre-planned kindness that you know will help your neighbor out and ease their mind. Not weird IMO.

 

[GPC0321]

I want to add that just because someone is vacationing at WDW, that doesn't mean they are somehow above the benefit of generosity. I got a very "snobby" vibe from some of the responses that indicated they don't want someone's "cast-offs" or to be viewed as "needy". Proud much? What's the difference in sharing snack credits or glowsticks or a second-hand glowing toy or shirt from home that still has the tags or balloons that have outlasted a family's stay? Who is to decide which of these things is appropriate to share with someone? It seems to me the only person who it should affect is the recipient, and it takes ten seconds to smile, thank the person for the gesture, and either accept the gift or tactfully decline.

I think it'd be need to purchase little toys or trinkets of some kind and pass them out randomly to folks who look like they need a boost (yes, even in WDW...we hear about cranky, frustrated, exhausted, disappointed, irritable people at WDW all the time), but with the instructions that when they see someone who needs a boost even more than they do, they pay it forward and pass the toy/trinket on. People SHOULD be happy at WDW, but unfortunately not everyone always is. I see no reason they don't deserve a little unexpected kindness to lift their spirits.

 

[hiroMYhero]

shirt from home that still has the tags

I am in the "folks like us" category because I am a therapist who specializes in communication and analyzing communicative intent. If the "shirt from home that still has the tags" was used as a descriptor in the first post, this thread wouldn't have spawned a poll nor 10 pages of replies.

@Hrhpd is only stating facts. The original post may or may not be filled with facts because the OP returned to rescind statements and embellish responses.

There has been a multitude of kind acts that many have posted such as @mom2AidanAndEli and no one else has listed a "shirt from home that still has tags." I don't think anyone should dwell on that item because it probably never existed.

 

[Hrhpd]

Why are you so bent on trying to be right in this discussion? Quoting your little poll statistic in an effort to prove that the OP's gestures are "gross" or "creepy", refusing to accept that not everyone agrees with you or the 88% who share your view. I haven't seen or participated in the poll because I think it's pointless. I don't care if 100% of the responders agree with you, I don't and neither do others here. And the OP doesn't have to justify, clarify, or answer anything about what she and her family choose to do on their vacation.

I am not. Why are you?

I am not refusing to accept anything. Seems to me the only people refusing to accept anything are the one refusing to believe that most people do not think that collecting used hoodies, t-shirts, used stuffed animals and toys to bring with you before you go to WDW solely to satisfy your own needs is a bit strange.

Why does it bother you so much that people find that weird? You have said that you refuse to believe what people have said in the poll. Why? And BTW, it was not my poll. But I am a scientist, so facts are important to me. And while not everybody has responded, it is a loose representation of the feelings of the majority.

Many people have agreed that little things like children giving away stickers and glow sticks are wonderful things to do. The OP's plan to walk around and give out compliments is a wonderful thing to do. Random acts of kindness - wonderful.

But being approached on vacation because a person has picked you out as the "perfect person" to receive their bonus gift - weird. As I said, I am not participating in anybody's Pixie Dust Fairy delusion. And depending on why my child caused you to pick them as somebody who needs cheering up, you have a good chance that my "no thank you" will be short and curt.

 

[cabanafrau]

Gotta love a thread where I'm told I have feelings of superiority, snobbery and am not a very nice person because when vacationing at Disney I prefer to do so courteously, alas sans baubles and trinkets to bestow on my fellow travellers or napsack to accept their largesse, be they castoffs or to quote eBay, new with tags.

Maybe now I can comprehend why there are so many people having difficulty simply enjoying their visit to the Happiest Place on Earth.

 

[Hrhpd]

Gotta love a thread where I'm told I have feelings of superiority, snobbery and am not a very nice person because when vacationing at Disney I prefer to do so courteously, alas sans baubles and trinkets to bestow on my fellow travellers or napsack to accept their largesse, be they castoffs or to quote eBay, new with tags.

Maybe now I can comprehend why there are so many people having difficulty simply enjoying their visit to the Happiest Place on Earth.

More victim shaming. I am going to give you this even though you didn't ask for it and if you don't like it, you are the mean one. And you are a snob if you don't want to accept a used item being foisted on you, an item you made absolutely no indication of needing or wanting.

What happened to just common courtesy being the best way to show kindness to others? Why so much emphasis on material gifts?

The snobbery I see here are people who are frustrated because others just don't comprehend how good and kind they are because they give gifts.