Engagement Party Gift

[IMGONNABE40!]

No opinion on whether or not a gift is appropriate. I don't recall having been to an engagement party. I know a few people sent me cards when I got engaged. Don' remember gifts, though.

I like to give the happy couple a set of monogrammed Christmas stockings. You can order them through Landsend.com all year long. If I am going to be spending a bit more, I like to give matching robes.

 

[Kimberle]

Engagement parties are pretty common in the metro NYC area.

You do not "have" to bring a gift. If you choose, it can be something simple. Maybe a bottle of nice wine w/ some wine glasses.

Myself, when I know someone is getting married, I set a $$ amt in my mind of what I can give. I then divide it up between the various "functins" to which I'm invited.

Go to the party, have fun! Don't stress yourself out abt your gift.

 

[jel0511]

I agree with Kimberle, that they are pretty popular here, also in Philly where DH's family is from. I also have limits for the gifts, but if it's family I give more. It's usually $50 for the engagement and bridal shower gift each and $200 for DH and I to attend the wedding.

 

[WilmaBud]

I'm from NJ, and I've never been to an engagement party. But I'm 40, and most of my friends have long been married. Maybe it's a newer trend? I did, however, receive quite a few engagement gifts. I got a pair of monogrammed crystal champagne flutes that we used to make our first toast as a married couple - that was neat. We got brass candlesticks, mixing bowls, some candy dishes. One cool thing I got from a friend was a set of Tupperware storage containers. Oh, and I got a Betty Crocker cookbook that I use to this day.

 

[Desnik]

We do exactly like jel0511

I grew up in the Bronx and everyone I knew had an engagement party and bridal shower. I didn't have a bridal shower b/c DH and I lived with eachother and had everything we needed. The engagement party was to announce the engagement with our friends and family. It was about 60 people and not one person gave a gift, they all gave money.
I do think the gift card to a Christmas Store to start them on their decorations is a great idea.

Personally I've never heard of someone going to a party empty handed, or with just a card. It would be different if you didn't have any money or were going through a tough time financially.
I do not think it's inappropiate to have a party and put the registry info in the invite. It is assumed that you are going to bring a gift. How else would you know what they want or need? It's not about what you want to give them, it's about them.
sunni So let's say you were invited to a baby shower. On the invite it has the registry info. You think that is tacky?!!??
How else would you get around the person getting duplicate gifts and having to go to the store to return and exchange a bunch of things? I have 2 kids, had showers for each and registered for each. The registry info was on the invites. In my family when they know your having a shower the first question is where did you register. Maybe that's just us?

 

[sunni]

Originally posted by Desnik
I do not think it's inappropiate to have a party and put the registry info in the invite. It is assumed that you are going to bring a gift. How else would you know what they want or need? It's not about what you want to give them, it's about them.
sunni So let's say you were invited to a baby shower. On the invite it has the registry info. You think that is tacky?!!??

I hate to say it's tacky, it makes it sound like I think someone has no class, but IMHO putting the info in the invite is improper (I like that word better than "tacky"). To me it says "I expect you to buy something from the registry, then I'll be sure to get what I want." It also makes it clear how much money someone spent on you, and there are people that absolutely need to find sales and bargains in order to buy gifts. I'm not trying to offend anyone that does add registry info to party invites, as I said before. Most of the people I know do it for shower invites, though I wouldn't.

How do you know what they need? It's simple. When you Rsvp you inquire if the bride/mom-to-be is registered anywhere. Or you ask them yourself, or ask their mother or attendents, etc.

I could be way off base about the shower thing (believe it or not I don't have an Emily Post Etiquette book by my side, LOL ), but I wouldn't ever put the registry info in a wedding invite.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

Originally posted by sunni


How do you know what they need? It's simple. When you Rsvp you inquire if the bride/mom-to-be is registered anywhere. Or you ask them yourself, or ask their mother or attendents, etc.

BINGO!!! ITA with this. While I wouldn't say I am "offended" by the registry info, it does smack of an outright solicitation.

I'm from Philly and I've never been to an engagement party. Some close family members DID give us a gift for our engagement.

It's traditional to give something monogrammed as an engagement gift. We got engraved beer mugs!!

 

[FloraFauna]

How about a nice photo album for putting pictures of all things leading up to the wedding?

 

[Aristocath]

And Peggy Post states that engagement parties are not about the gift and if you want to give an engagement gift you do so at another time, not at the party.
If I was more computer savvy, I would post the link for you, but it was under the past best question of the week section.
My personal feeling is that if you invite someone to your wedding or shower or engagement party, it is because you want them to be a part of your celebration, not because of the gift they might get you.