"Email" vent..

CAnn, I hope you continue to support and be there for your friend. It is unfortunate that you were drawn into this family situation along with 'Mary's' other friends by a husband that seems to have problems.
 
I just find it fascinating that you know so much of the daily schedules of other people!
I have no clue what day my friends do what time on what day!

Also wanted to add- I can use my email at work & at lunch-so if someone is at work-that doesn;t mean they can't send emails???
I also think it is very far-fetched that any person would plot for months to send emails on their wife's email "to get bavk at them". My DH has no clue how to even access my email


:confused3

Really? I know my friends regular work schedules because they tend to be the same every week. I don't think that is odd at all.....and why do I know? So that we can talk, catch up, make plans without playing phone tag. I think that would be normal in alot of friendships. Now if she knew when every doctors appt & haircut were scheduled then I'd be amazed :worship:

Good Luck C.Ann....and good luck to your friend ~ it sounds like she has some soul searching to do.
 
:hug: to you and your friend. That man sounds like a loon. Hopefully she can get far far away from him soon. :hug:
 

:hug: to you and your friend. That man sounds like a loon. Hopefully she can get far far away from him soon. :hug:
Or not. Lots of people do just fine in loony relationships.

Hearing one side of the issue from an outsider who only hears one side of does not offer enough info to draw any accurate conclusions.
 
Or not. Lots of people do just fine in loony relationships.

Hearing one side of the issue from an outsider who only hears one side of does not offer enough info to draw any accurate conclusions.

Bless your heart!
 
Or not. Lots of people do just fine in loony relationships.

Hearing one side of the issue from an outsider who only hears one side of does not offer enough info to draw any accurate conclusions.

Seriously? YIKES!! :eek:
 
I'm back - with the missing piece of the puzzle.. Something I really wasn't expecting - although maybe I should have..

I talked to "Mary" twice today.. Once this morning - and again a short time ago.. As of her last call, she was packing to fly out to her DD's for awhile as a direct result of "Joe's" recent activities.. No physical abuse involved, but the ongoing emotional/verbal abuse seems to have reached an all-time high and she needs some time to clear her head and decide what she's going to do about it..

Turns out that the phoney email to me wasn't "all" he's been up to.. It seems that ALL of her contacts have received emails meant to create problems - not just me - and he went into her Facebook account as well and once again, posed as her and wrote all sorts of things that were not truthful.. :sad2: She now has a major mess to clean up and needless to say, is furious with him..

I made a point of not saying anything negative about him at all - just asked her why she thought he was acting like this - and it's more of the "same old, same old" - his enormous ego.. The short version is that they just recently returned from a Mediterranean cruise and while on that cruise, she made the deadly mistake of correcting him in front of others while discussing a place they had visited while in Paris last spring.. Under NO circumstances do you ever attempt to correct "Joe" - or indicate that there's something he isn't actually an expert on.. He will go into major "grudge" mode and one way or another, you will suffer his wrath.. Evidently he "sat" on it during the holidays because their son was there from out of state (no doubt seething the entire time) and as soon as the son left, he devised this whacked out scheme to "get even" with her for embarrassing him..

This isn't "new" behavior for him - as far as treating her and everyone else like they're idiots - and becoming extremely irate if anyone dares to even "hint" that he's wrong about something, but this email/Facebook thing is something he's never done before - which to me sounds like he's beginning to spiral out of control and could probably benefit from some counseling and/or anger management classes.. I don't "think" he would ever become physically abusive with her, but we all know that emotional abuse can be every bit as damaging..

So I guess the bottom line is that the email I received was sent simply because I was in her list of contacts - and not necessarily because I was being targeted by him..

For the time being, "Mary" and I have agreed it's best that we only talk on the phone - at least until she figures out what she's going to do about all of this.. I feel bad for her - because I have watched him treat her like this for years and years - but the only thing I can do at this point is be supportive and give her a shoulder to cry on.. When and if she makes a decision in regards to what she's going to do it needs to be her decision - and hers alone..

To all of you posters who are not on my "ignore list" (I really do love that thing now - LOL :thumbsup2) I truly appreciate your replies and your concerns for "Mary" - even though this thread was more of a "vent" than anything else..:)

Our friendship is still solid and regardless of what happens, I don't expect that to change..Simply ignoring "Joe" is definitely the way to go..:thumbsup2

Thanks..:goodvibes

Good idea! :grouphug: to you and Mary.
 
ugh!! some people!! :sad2:

my ex-fiance's wife will text me from his phone pretending to be him...i don't even know if he's aware of it, and she's so on top of everything in his life that there really is no way for me to tell him about it and KNOW i'm telling him, and not her. :headache: And none of our friends will man up and tell him that she's pulling all the crazy crap...

i just have to breathe in, breathe out, and let it go - it's been going on for 5ish years now so i'm almost getting used to the passive aggressive bs. It sure does stink though. At least all of our friends know she's crazy...one of these days i hope it bites her in the a...;)
 
Major :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: to Mary.

I feel like I'm Mary, married to Joe. My husband is mad at me right now over something really stupid. I came home from work yesterday early, because of the snow. I sat here and saw it snow out the window after I got home. He and I discussed the fact it was still snowing.

Last night, he said it hadn't snowed at all since I got home from work. When I said, "yes, it has. I saw it through the window, and we talked about it." he got mad at me.

I've been getting the silent treatment all day, which is a good thing. He's already griped to our son about how stupid I am. (DS came up to hug me as he's seen this stuff happen in the past.) Husband will get over his PO'd mood in a few hours, and will then get mad because I will continue to feel hurt that he got this mad over something this stupid.

I'm so ready to pack up and be done with this. I've got three paychecks just sitting in my purse, just in case I get a wild hair and take off some day to escape.

Sorry to hijack, but it is kinda comforting to know I'm not the only one who goes through this kind of crap.
 
Poor Mary.

I just find it fascinating that you know so much of the daily schedules of other people!
I have no clue what day my friends do what time on what day!

Also wanted to add- I can use my email at work & at lunch-so if someone is at work-that doesn;t mean they can't send emails???
I also think it is very far-fetched that any person would plot for months to send emails on their wife's email "to get bavk at them". My DH has no clue how to even access my email


:confused3

FWIW, I used to know my friend's normal schedules, absolutely!

And not all workplaces allow internet/email use, and I would imagine a volunteer, once a week, at a hospice, wouldn't be using their email...

DH and I have each other's email passwords.
 
Major :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: to Mary.

I feel like I'm Mary, married to Joe. My husband is mad at me right now over something really stupid. I came home from work yesterday early, because of the snow. I sat here and saw it snow out the window after I got home. He and I discussed the fact it was still snowing.

Last night, he said it hadn't snowed at all since I got home from work. When I said, "yes, it has. I saw it through the window, and we talked about it." he got mad at me.

I've been getting the silent treatment all day, which is a good thing. He's already griped to our son about how stupid I am. (DS came up to hug me as he's seen this stuff happen in the past.) Husband will get over his PO'd mood in a few hours, and will then get mad because I will continue to feel hurt that he got this mad over something this stupid.

I'm so ready to pack up and be done with this. I've got three paychecks just sitting in my purse, just in case I get a wild hair and take off some day to escape.

Sorry to hijack, but it is kinda comforting to know I'm not the only one who goes through this kind of crap.


:hug::hug::hug::hug:
 
I'll make this as brief as possible as many of the details aren't relevant..

Yesterday morning I received an email from a friend of 20+ years.. The email was very cold and impersonal and left me with the impression that our friendship was coming to an end.. I have been friends with this person and her DH (although I have never particularly liked him) for a long, long time and was puzzled - to say the least.. Just to be sure I wasn't imagining things, I showed it to my DD and her DH and they both agreed that it sounded like "the kiss of death"..

Long story short, I found out later last night that although this email came from "Mary's" email address - and was signed, "Mary & Joe" - it was NOT written OR sent by her.. It was composed and sent by her DH - without HER knowledge.. She knew nothing about the email - nor did she know anything about the content..:mad:

I immediately responded rather coldly

to what I "thought" was the original email from "Mary" right after I received it -

only to receive a follow-up email from Mary last night explaining that she was totally unaware of yesterdays happenings

and wasn't even home
when "Joe" decided to try to pull off this scam..


(And yes - I'm sure she was not home.. Yesterday was her set weekly day to volunteer at their local Hospice Center from 7 a.m. until 5 p.m. - and nothing has gone on between her and I recently that would cause her to send me this type of email, so there's not a question in my mind that she was totally in the dark..)



And yet-C.Ann IMMEDIATELY wrote a cold reply-even tho she knew her friend was working and couldn't have been able to write the fake email???

:confused3
 
And yet-C.Ann IMMEDIATELY wrote a cold reply-even tho she knew her friend was working and couldn't have been able to write the fake email???

:confused3

Interseting point. If she KNEW her friend couldn't have been home why would she send her a not so nice reply right away??? Truthfully, being that they are so close, why wouldn't she call her before she replied by email at all?
 
And to think - this man retired from a career quite high up in the field of education - constantly reminds everyone and anyone of how smart he is; how many degrees he has; how "easy" it was for him to obtain his doctorate due to his "superior intelligence"; how he is "above reproach"; how respected and admired he is by everyone; how "trustworthy" he is; yada, yada, yada..

It's been my experience that people who go out of their way to announce their worth & intelligence are not only annoyingly obnoxious, but very insecure. Sometimes also less than sincere in the grand retelling of their accomplishments. Usually makes me wonder what they're over-compensating for.

I'm sure that you've tolerated many things over the years to maintain this friendship - and I'm also fairly sure your friend must realize at least some of those challenges and treasure your friendship as well.
Sending :hug::hug: and hopes that this challenge will one day be another of the small blips in a long friendship that you'll laugh about together in years to come...
 
And yet-C.Ann IMMEDIATELY wrote a cold reply-even tho she knew her friend was working and couldn't have been able to write the fake email???

:confused3

I have certainly been guilty of acting before thinking...or at least, thinking it all the way through. Sounds like she did the same. Darn us imperfect humans.
 
I have certainly been guilty of acting before thinking...or at least, thinking it all the way through. Sounds like she did the same. Darn us imperfect humans.

....yeah! :headache: SHAMEFUL!! :mad: How DARE you....now, take ME, for example, one who is ABOVE reproach.....:angel:









































:rotfl2::lmao:


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