Elderly Mom with health issues

[dizneefan13]

mamabunny and Pea-n-Me, thanks so much for the great suggestions!
Maybe we'll just starve her during the trip.....JUST KIDDING! I have to keep a sense of humor here because the thought of an accident really stresses me out!

 

[mamabunny]

mamabunny and Pea-n-Me, thanks so much for the great suggestions!
Maybe we'll just starve her during the trip.....JUST KIDDING! I have to keep a sense of humor here because the thought of an accident really stresses me out!

I'm going to tell you my worst "accident" story, and it's a doozy.

As I said before, my Mom had stroke-related dementia. She was "locked in" for the last year of her life, and during that time she started having "catastrophic reactions" to ordinary everyday events. Catastrophic Reactions tend to be rapid onset, and can last for any amount of time, and be for any reason. In Mom's case, she actually became afraid to toilet, and many of the CR events that we had with her were related to toileting. Minimally, she would become extremely emotional.

The maximum was hit the night that she became afraid to poop, and when she could finally hold it no longer - and we got her to the toilet in time - she became afraid of the poop coming out of her. Before I could stop her, there were handfuls *everywhere*.

The cleanup took hours of scrubbing, disinfecting, mopping and laundry, including showers for both of us. To this day, I'm not sure who was more traumatized in that moment - her or me.

I encourage you to talk to your Mom openly about your concerns. Let her know you are worried about this, and that you have real concerns about this happening at Disney World. Explain what you see as the worse case scenario, and how you think it could play out. Maybe she hasn't really considered what would happen. A lot of newly diagnosed people engage in "magical thinking", and none of us are exempt from that.

I understand your stress - especially when we are caregivers for our Moms, it's difficult. You never want to think that you will have to be the one who cleans up after a bathroom accident - it's a step too far in the inevitable role reversal we have as adult children. Just know that it *can* be a *lot* worse - and that as long as you and your Mom can keep your sense of humor about it, you will get through it just fine.

And remember that if you need a really big cleanup on Aisle #2 that the First Aid center in every Park might be a good place to head to.

Good Luck

 

[Selket]

Does your mom currently get out of the house now and go places? Like to the grocery or shopping? If so, she may be somewhat accustomed to what it's like to be out and about. Do you know that her issues come on suddenly and that she needs to go to the bathroom without warning? This can happen with IBS but is not a problem for everyone with it or doesn't happen every day or every week necessarily (as in she may have normal warnings and lead time for when she needs to go to the bathroom and not have urgency all the time).

I think your trip will be just fine - prepare what you can and go from there.

 

[Bete]

Scooters can give a false sense of security. I know this sounds funny but somehow sitting helps not to have an accident. Maybe, it's the pressure of sitting down that helps.

Anyway, when you step off the scooter it seems to be harder to control. Movement causes more of a reaction.

Most people rather be in the preventative mode even if nothing happens. To be honest if it would make your mom feel better I would wear an adult diaper, too even though I don't have a problem.

 

[dizneefan13]

Oh mamabunny, I can't imagine going through something like your mom's fears of going to the bathroom. How special you are to take care of her like that. I know that some of us feel it is the only thing to do, but I know some people who would run the other way. Anyway, bless you for sharing. I know I want to do what is best for her. And I'm probably making too much of this, but its a new thing we have to deal with on our next visit. I truly appreciate all your help, suggestions, and sharing.
Yes, Selket, she gets out quite often. Either with a friend or one of us kids. She always checks out where the restroom is no matter where she's at. As far as I know, it doesn't happen often, but when it does, its like lookout, I gotta go NOW. She has had one accident that I know of. I think she was at home, thank goodness.
We will do the best we can with this. Like I said, I'm the stressed one here. She has more of an attitude like "I'll deal with it if I have to". Of course, it won't be just her dealing with it.
Bete, I never thought of that, but you are right. Sitting on the scooter will help her "hold it" I think. But what about if she has to go and its time to get on the ride? Guess that's when we use the exit and head for the restroom. Oh my, so many things to think about here.
But I'm trying not to stress about it. My husband says I'm most likely worrying for nothing. I hope he is right.
Thanks again everyone. You are so helpful and understanding. I appreciate it.

 

[mamabunny]

Oh mamabunny, I can't imagine going through something like your mom's fears of going to the bathroom. How special you are to take care of her like that. I know that some of us feel it is the only thing to do, but I know some people who would run the other way. Anyway, bless you for sharing. I know I want to do what is best for her. And I'm probably making too much of this, but its a new thing we have to deal with on our next visit. I truly appreciate all your help, suggestions, and sharing.
Yes, Selket, she gets out quite often. Either with a friend or one of us kids. She always checks out where the restroom is no matter where she's at. As far as I know, it doesn't happen often, but when it does, its like lookout, I gotta go NOW. She has had one accident that I know of. I think she was at home, thank goodness.
We will do the best we can with this. Like I said, I'm the stressed one here. She has more of an attitude like "I'll deal with it if I have to". Of course, it won't be just her dealing with it.
Bete, I never thought of that, but you are right. Sitting on the scooter will help her "hold it" I think. But what about if she has to go and its time to get on the ride? Guess that's when we use the exit and head for the restroom. Oh my, so many things to think about here.
But I'm trying not to stress about it. My husband says I'm most likely worrying for nothing. I hope he is right.
Thanks again everyone. You are so helpful and understanding. I appreciate it.

One last thought - there are incontinence products that are not a "diaper" type product.

There are, of course, "adult diapers" which are most commonly used when the person is unable to transfer to a toilet, or is bed bound.

And, probably the most often used adult product is the "pull ups" style; (in my head I always hear the "I'm a big kid now!" jingle from the Huggies commercial LOL) and those are actually great for places like theme parks where it's easier to tear away the sides while the wearer sits on the toilet, and then put on a fresh pair after they are done toileting and clean. The hardest part, frankly, is just keeping their pants/shorts clean from the floor

But there are some incontinence pads - like a large sanitary napkin - that can be worn shifted forward more for urinary incontinence, or further back for fecal incontinence. You can even double them up - side to side, or lengthwise - if you think that helps.

I understand it - and I know that being prepared is just part of how you take care of your Mom.

 

[Magic Stars19]

Just a few months after I had my gallbladder removed I was at DisneyLand. I had cafe au lait at Ralph Brennan's Jazz Kitchen. Not really that much milk - but enough to be dangerous. I found the bathroom in the lobby of the Grand Calfornian and spent the rest of the morning going back and forth between the bathroom and the lobby. I swear I must have made 10 trips (or more). I'm sure the CMs there wondered about me. No way I could make it back to my room.

That was almost 20 years ago so nothing that bad these days.

@arminnie, did you your post GB removal issues resolve? What were your symptoms after the surgery? I just had my GB out 5 weeks ago, and I had a Disney trip planned. I am now very sick with diarrhea and on occasion nausea.

 

[arminnie]

@arminnie, did you your post GB removal issues resolve? What were your symptoms after the surgery? I just had my GB out 5 weeks ago, and I had a Disney trip planned. I am now very sick with diarrhea and on occasion nausea.

Yes my issues are 95% resolved. But for about 6 months I could not even have a cup of coffee with cream or eat an ice cream cone without severe consequences.

I still may have a moderate problem if I have a glass of milk or milk with cereal without having other food in my stomach.

But I could avoid problems if I avoided dairy.

 

[maxiesmom]

@arminnie, did you your post GB removal issues resolve? What were your symptoms after the surgery? I just had my GB out 5 weeks ago, and I had a Disney trip planned. I am now very sick with diarrhea and on occasion nausea.

I had my gall bladder out a year ago. And the immediate struggle with diarrhea will get better. At first most everything bothered me, but now it is not near as bad. However, I still have things I know to avoid. I can have 1 cup of coffee, but not 2. I have to avoid greasy food as well. Oh, and I did a trip to WDW 8 weeks after having my surgery, so I know how you feel. I did buy some depends to take along, just in case I had a day where I needed the security of them.

Try not to stress about it, which I know is easier said than done. Stress will make it worse. Find those foods that your system really doesn't like, and avoid them. The good thing about WDW is that there are bathrooms everywhere. And if you have to hang out near one for a while, no big deal.

And I know this is a bit off topic, but be careful of those lap bars. Silly me tried to go hands up on BTMRR and smashed my abdomen into the lap bar. OUCH.

 

[Magic Stars19]

I had my gall bladder out a year ago. And the immediate struggle with diarrhea will get better. At first most everything bothered me, but now it is not near as bad. However, I still have things I know to avoid. I can have 1 cup of coffee, but not 2. I have to avoid greasy food as well. Oh, and I did a trip to WDW 8 weeks after having my surgery, so I know how you feel. I did buy some depends to take along, just in case I had a day where I needed the security of them.

Try not to stress about it, which I know is easier said than done. Stress will make it worse. Find those foods that your system really doesn't like, and avoid them. The good thing about WDW is that there are bathrooms everywhere. And if you have to hang out near one for a while, no big deal.

And I know this is a bit off topic, but be careful of those lap bars. Silly me tried to go hands up on BTMRR and smashed my abdomen into the lap bar. OUCH.

@maxiesmom Thanks for your response! I really appreciate it! I seem to be having some diarrhea with bile, especially in the morning. My stools have not been a normal color. Did you have bile acid diarrhea that got better over time?

 

[maxiesmom]

@maxiesmom Thanks for your response! I really appreciate it! I seem to be having some diarrhea with bile, especially in the morning. My stools have not been a normal color. Did you have bile acid diarrhea that got better over time?

Yes. And I have many friends who had the same surgery, and all had the same problem. One of my friends said to eat whatever you want, and after a while your body will (mostly) adjust. And I have found that to be true. Now, I still have bad days where something that typically doesn't bother my system sets it off for some reason. But those days are few and far between, than goodness. Taking half an immodium seems to do wonders for me as far as firming things up but not making things stop, if you know what I mean.

 

[Magic Stars19]

Yes. And I have many friends who had the same surgery, and all had the same problem. One of my friends said to eat whatever you want, and after a while your body will (mostly) adjust. And I have found that to be true. Now, I still have bad days where something that typically doesn't bother my system sets it off for some reason. But those days are few and far between, than goodness. Taking half an immodium seems to do wonders for me as far as firming things up but not making things stop, if you know what I mean.

@maxiesmom Thank you!!