Early Birthday Party?

[Lilacs4Me]

What are your thoughts on having early (or late) birthday parties?

I mentioned this in the other birthday thread - DS16 and DD have birthdates that are incredibly difficult to plan parties for. Their birthdays are one day apart at the end of June, both dates fall right in between Father's Day and July 4th, and our town's annual summer carnival is the weekend in between, not to mention the slew of vacations, graduation parties, end of the school year parties, and weddings taking place at that time of year.

And it's just as hard to do a "half-birthday" because even their half-birthdays fall the week between Christmas and New Year, which is almost as impossible of a time as the end of June.

So, my dilemma. DD and I have had a standing date to see Beauty and the Beast when it comes out later this month - it's both of our favorite Disney movie and ever since we saw the first preview I promised her I would take her. I was thinking it would be the perfect way to celebrate her birthday, but her darned birthday is still a couple months away!

Would you just do it anyway? She has about 10 good friends she would want to invite and I was thinking about making it a surprise party - they can meet me at the theater and then DH can bring DD in. She would LOVE it...one of her friends just had a surprise party for her 13th birthday in Nov, and the girls are all about trying to find ways to surprise each other now. They even planned a mini-surprise party for one of the girls in the group back in Jan for her birthday - it was really cute how they all were so excited about the planning and how they would reveal , etc, etc. So I know DD would like it.

I just feel weird about it for some reason - like I am lying about it being her birthday. She will not be having a party in June - for reasons stated above plus it is going to be a very busy time overall for us. The best we've been able to manage the past few years is going out to dinner for the both of them and they invite a friend and it won't be any different this year.

Would you do this surprise birthday party a few months early, and how would you word the invite?

Thanks!

 

[mjkacmom]

Sure, why not? My friend just had her dd's sweet 16 three months after her birthday, no biggie. Since it's a surprise, even a better reading to have it early - it will really be a surprise!

 

[Klayfish]

Sure, we do it for our twins. Their b-day is late July, so it's right before school starts again. We either do it in early June...right after school ends, or in late August...shortly after it begins. During the summer, families are busy going on vacation, etc... So we either hand the party invites out right on the last days of school, or the first days of the new year. Nobody has questioned it, I think they all understand why we do it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Hmmmm.

My kids have birthday only 4 days apart and with Christmas in between, so I know all about trying to schedule at a diifucult time if year. We oftne had parties a week or two early (and once I think we did one right after New Years). but I think 2 months would feel odd to me.
I think you can jsut invite everyone and surprise your DD with a nice outing with her friends if you'd like, but sellign it as a birthday party to which others then feel obliged to bring gifts, when the actual birthday is more than a couple of weeks awas feels "off" to me.
If my kids had gotten such an invite, they would have gone happily and we wouldn't have made a fuss about it, but we would have thought it very strange.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I say go for it. My aunt had her DD's sweet 16 three months after her actual birthday. She lives in the Pocono's and her birthday is in the winter. She didn't want to chance bad weather and no one being able to make it.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Hmmmm.

My kids have birthday only 4 days apart and with Christmas in between, so I know all about trying to schedule at a diifucult time if year. We oftne had parties a week or two early (and once I think we did one right after New Years). but I think 2 months would feel odd to me.
I think you can jsut invite everyone and surprise your DD with a nice outing with her friends if you'd like, but sellign it as a birthday party to which others then feel obliged to bring gifts, when the actual birthday is more than a couple of weeks awas feels "off" to me.
If my kids had gotten such an invite, they would have gone happily and we wouldn't have made a fuss about it, but we would have thought it very strange.

That's my worry!

It's her 13th birthday, if that makes any difference. Not sure it even does to me, but some people think of it as a milestone birthday.

Not trying to change your opinion - I just realized that I didn't put her age/year in the first post.

 

[pryncess527]

I would absolutely plan a random, fun girls night out to the movies with DD and her friends.
I would not call it a birthday party.

And honestly, my birthday is at the end of June and while it did always mean not everyone was in town to celebrate, I never saw it as a reason to postpone or move it to a drastically different time. If not everyone was around for my pool party o whatever, no big deal . . .

 

[Sadie22]

A birthday can be celebrated whenever we wish, and billed as such. No need to feel weird or awkward.

 

[kimblebee]

I say go for it.

My family, it's hard for us to all get together with so many different schedules so sometimes birthday dinners are a few weeks early or late.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I would absolutely plan a random, fun girls night out to the movies with DD and her friends.
I would not call it a birthday party.

And honestly, my birthday is at the end of June and while it did always mean not everyone was in town to celebrate, I never saw it as a reason to postpone or move it to a drastically different time. If not everyone was around for my pool party o whatever, no big deal . . .

I totally get it - how many people are around to attend is not really the cause of my reasoning, though. I just feel bad for DD and DS because they always get the raw end of the birthday deal at that time of the year. It has a lot to do with my schedule too - the last week of June for the past 7 years was the absolute busiest, craziest week of the year for me at work and the culmination of 3 months of our busiest time, and by the end of June, I have been exhausted working 70-80 hours, weekends, late into the night, 6am conference calls, etc. and I just didn't have it in me to try to plan birthday parties for not just one kid, but two!

Totally my fault, I know, and not the fault of DD's friends! And DS16 gets/wants a certain sports camp as his gift in lieu of a party in recent years which is always the 3rd week of June, so he is taken care of, plus he is older and a boy, so he is winding down on the importance of the high school social scene and is looking toward moving on to college soon. DD is just starting all of that and I just want to do something special for her for once!

I do like the idea of a "girls night out". Thanks

 

[cabanafrau]

I have a DD with a birthday the same week as your two, so I understand the difficulties -- even ran into the issue of the half birthday falling during the holiday break when it came to the school's ordinary solution to birthday salutes for kids with summer birthdays never getting acknowledge in the morning announcements.

I have no quibble with your idea, except for this thought -- while your DD may love the idea of her birthday surprise with her friends, will there be any possibility she might have wanted this particular outing to be strictly mother/daughter to bring it full circle? I doubt it and think it's much more likely a mom would feel that way in this scenario, but I just want to throw the thought out there in case.

 

[wishesuponastar]

I say go for it. Our daughter's Sweet 16 was 2 months early because she wanted a beach party - her birthday is October. No one said anything. When her actual birthday rolled around we took her out to dinner.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I have a DD with a birthday the same week as your two, so I understand the difficulties -- even ran into the issue of the half birthday falling during the holiday break when it came to the school's ordinary solution to birthday salutes for kids with summer birthdays never getting acknowledge in the morning announcements.

I have no quibble with your idea, except for this thought -- while your DD may love the idea of her birthday surprise with her friends, will there be any possibility she might have wanted this particular outing to be strictly mother/daughter to bring it full circle? I doubt it and think it's much more likely a mom would feel that way in this scenario, but I just want to throw the thought out there in case.

I thought about that too, but we do things together just the two of us all the time, so I'm pretty sure she wouldn't care. She is all about hanging out with her friends these days!

And yes! on the announcement thing! LOL DD says the same thing - and also how her locker will never be decorated because nobody is going to do it on winter break (or even think about it with Christmas and time off from school happening!) or in the summer. It's the small things for girls lol. DS couldn't have cared less

 

[Bren's Mom]

I think it's fine to do it early or late. My ds's birthday is 9/1, usually at Labor Day weekend. Start of school. Late summer vacations. It's always a nightmare to plan. so we either do an early/mid August party (if planning something outdoors) or a later in September party. No one ever says anything or minds. On actual birthday we do a family dinner. And usually Labor Day weekend we see extended family and celebrate the (many) August/Sept birthdays in the family at a picnic.

 

[cabanafrau]

I thought about that too, but we do things together just the two of us all the time, so I'm pretty sure she wouldn't care. She is all about hanging out with her friends these days!

And yes! on the announcement thing! LOL DD says the same thing - and also how her locker will never be decorated because nobody is going to do it on winter break (or even think about it with Christmas and time off from school happening!) or in the summer. It's the small things for girls lol. DS couldn't have cared less

My youngest finally managed to get her locker decorated her junior year. Her birthday fell in the spring break zone every year but that one. It meant so much to her that it still hangs on the closet door in her room. One of her friends was actually intuitive enough to realize, hey, you've never had your locker decorated and proceeded to make it her mission to enlist help to do it very elaborately. DD's eyes welled up when she brought it home and told me the story. My oldest never did have that pleasure, so I understand what you're talking about, big time.

 

[PollyannaMom]

The birthday locker talk is bringing back memories! I had a friend who brought me a cupcake with a teeny tiny paper flame glued to the candle, and I filled the same friend's locker with balloons on her birthday.

As for the party, I think the movie premier is a good excuse to have it early! If you know someone artistic, you could even play it up on the invites - like drawing a character from the movie pulling the date of her birthday from one page of the calendar to the other.

 

[sk!mom]

I wouldn't but I have no problem with someone else doing it. I just would make sure to not do anything around her actual birthday that would make friends feel like they had to gift her again.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I wouldn't but I have no problem with someone else doing it. I just would make sure to not do anything around her actual birthday that would make friends feel like they had to gift her again.

We would DEFINITELY not have anything else close to her birthday if we do this!

Thanks!

 

[Poohforyou]

My daughter's birthday is at the end of august. Her party has never been on her birthday. We always wait for school to start and everyone to get settled back into a routine. Typically her parties are at the end of September. Last year it was early October.

This year she'll likely already be at college on her 18th birthday. I think she wants a party in early August before everyone heads off to school. It'll be the last one.

 

[Hikergirl]

I would do it for my dd but I would do it differently. I wouldn't feel right about my dd getting gifts for her birthday 3 months before. I would just let the girls know not to bring anything, that it is planned because its hard to plan something close to her birthday, it is not an actual birthday party. If they choose to give her a gift they can wait until her actual birthday.
It just would feel weird about making an all out party months before a birthday. That is just me though.