E-card for mother's day = insulted?

[snowwhitesmom]

I am not my DHs Mother - or the mother of his children [we have both been married before], and I never expect ANYTHING on Mother's Day - but he took me out to breakfast this morning and is making dinner for me right now. He says it is for how I am with ALL children - his, mine, and my students. Don't I have a winner?

 

[dmslush]

I'm reading the replies and I think I interpreted the original question differently. I would be insulted by an E-card for mother's day because in my mind that requires absolutely no personal thought or effort. It's a quick point and click. My most treasured gift today is from my kindergartener who presented me with his silouette cut out in black construction paper and a poem from school. I don't require Tiffany bracelets. However, I also don't find it "creepy" for a man to tell his wife "Thanks for being the mother of our children and for all that you do for us." I do the same for him on Father's Day and don't think he finds it creepy. I'm glad I'm not married to a man that felt, "Hey she's not MY mother. I don't have to do anything for her on Mother's Day."

I agree 100%!! I think it is SO's job to teach dd how to celebrate Mother's Day, just as it is my job to teach her how to celebrate Father's Day. I would be very, very hurt if all I received was an e-card. Heck, come and hug me and tell me you love me, don't do it through the net.

 

[Sleepy]

I would be insulted by an E-card for mother's day because in my mind that requires absolutely no personal thought or effort. It's a quick point and click.

Yes, I guess you could see it that way, but at the same time, do you really think every man walks into a card shop and reads all the cards to find the right one? I have noticed alot of *reach out and randomly pick a card and if it looks ok, I'll take it*. A simple grab and purchase. Also, I would find an E-card to be just as thought provoking. You have to find the website and choose a card, then fill in whatever personal touch you choose. I honestly don't see how this is any different than being in a card shop except for the fact that maybe the e-card was free.

 

[Stacerita]

It wouldn't bother me. I generally get cards from my family, including my nana and both my parents. Each of my parents usually get me their own cards. This year, my mother did an e-card. She knew my father would get his own. It was really nice, said more about what she meant than any card bought at the store could. And I think it took a lot more on her part to do so since she has a hard time doing things like that. And it makes it easy for me in a week or so when I have to dispose of the cards. There just isn't enough room to keep every single card I recieve. With an e-card, I can keep it forever. The sweetpea usually does her own card or gift, most often handmade. Those I keep. But it wouldn't bother me if she sent me an e-card either. Its the thought that counts.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

No, I'm not his mother, nor am I a mother, anyway. I hate e-cards though, unless they are just a random "thinking of you" one, from my hubby. It takes time and effort to get someone a real card, or even make them.

 

[Skylarr29]

While I wouldn't necessarily be upset by an e card I would be insulted if my husband did not acknowledge/celebrate Mother's day.. No I am not HIS mother but if I was the mother of his children then I would want him to show his appreciation for having HIS children.

 

[Becky2005]

Nope, but since I usually don't get regular cards...I would actually be impressed.

This year I didn't get a card but got a present early last week. Normally I don't even get that (but it was a combo Anniversary, Mother's Day, birthday gift).

My kids make me things at school and since I'm *their* mother, that makes more sense to me.

However, Mother's day is not that big of a deal to me, so it would be hard to offend me.

 

[Bbgrizzle]

I am truly suprised at how many moms don't expect a card from their husband on mother's day. I get my DH a father's day gift just to say, "Thank you for being a great daddy to my children". I think that is just as important as getting something for my own dad, if not more so. Same goes for Mother's day!!!

To the OP, I don't blame you for being disappointed in the E-card. I agree that E-cards require a lot less thought and effort than a physical card. My DH didn't even give me a verbal "Happy Mother's Day" today, let alone a card, and we have 3 kids. If he had never done mother's day stuff for me in the past, it wouldn't bother me as much I guess. But he has always acknowledged Mother's Day in the past, so I do notice the difference and I feel gypped. You're not alone in having a disappointing day.

 

[LoraJ]

Yes, I guess you could see it that way, but at the same time, do you really think every man walks into a card shop and reads all the cards to find the right one? I have noticed alot of *reach out and randomly pick a card and if it looks ok, I'll take it*. A simple grab and purchase. Also, I would find an E-card to be just as thought provoking. You have to find the website and choose a card, then fill in whatever personal touch you choose. I honestly don't see how this is any different than being in a card shop except for the fact that maybe the e-card was free.

This thread just reminded me to send my mom an e-card. She loves them. When I send e-cards, I take more time to pick one out too than I would at a store.

I have a membership with americangreetings.com, so my e-cards aren't free. Whenever I go out to buy a card, I can hardly ever find that perfect one. Plus the selection isn't always great around here because most cards are in spanish. I actually think e-cards are more personal.

If I send someone an e-card and they think it's tacky - well pooey on them. Maybe they'll get nothing next time.

 

[poohandwendy]

I would be insulted by an E-card for mother's day because in my mind that requires absolutely no personal thought or effort. It's a quick point and click.

Actually, the reason I feel differently is because I really think these 'Hallmark Holidays" are just dumb. I don't need reminded that I am appreciated, I pretty much get that on a regular basis when I cook a great meal, do a thoughtful thing, get a hug or laugh from my kids, when my DH is proud of how I handled a kid issue...etc.

I think these sort of holidays do nothing but raise expectations and disappointments. It tends to make appreciation obligatory rather than spontaneous.

E-card, Hallmark card, gift, hug, dinner out...why is it ever considered 'insulting' to be told you are appreciated in any way that person wants to tell you?

If I felt unappreciated, there are no amount of store bought cards or gifts or national holidays that would make up for that. And the issue would come up way before Mother's Day.

 

[Divamomto3]

If I felt unappreciated, there are no amount of store bought cards or gifts or national holidays that would make up for that.

That's absolutely true.

 

[lovingthemouse]

Absolutely not- it's the thought that counts. I have a wonderful husband and if he didn't have time to get to a store and select one there, what's the difference if he found one on the net or on a shelf? I love him no matter what form his feelings are expressed in. Caroline

 

[Marseeya]

I think it depends on the individuals involved.

I'd be very disappointed if my DH got me an e-card for any holiday. But he's the type of man who puts a lot of thought and care into gift giving and he goes all out to try to find a perfect gift or card.

And neither one of us agree with the "she's not my mother" "he's not my father" thing on those holidays. We like to show the other our appreciation for all we do in raising the kids.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

It's one thing if you actually put time into an e-card, like some of you have said you do. But some people I know, like my MIL, never even put anything in the message. Just "love, XXX." Where's the love in that?? (as far as cards go)

 

[Dan Murphy]

We are a card/gift family. I give a card to Marie for almost anything, and Mother's Day certainly no exception, as my wife, mother of my children. I do not feel like a creep, nor does Marie on Father's Day next month. For us it is tradition. Vince called from the firehouse, Natalie will be here soon. She also had a very pretty Mother's Day floral arrangement delivered yesterday and right now we are getting ready to have a special treat dinner (homemade tacos) with her mom who is over here now. I am glad President Wilson proclaimed it a holiday back in the early 1900's.

 

[JVL1018]

I hate e cards--I'm too lazy to open them.

My husband gets me a card every mother's day, and he writes in it how much he loves me and how amazing I am and how happy he is that I am the mother of his children.

 

[jacksonsmom]

However, I also don't find it "creepy" for a man to tell his wife "Thanks for being the mother of our children and for all that you do for us." I do the same for him on Father's Day and don't think he finds it creepy. I'm glad I'm not married to a man that felt, "Hey she's not MY mother. I don't have to do anything for her on Mother's Day."

I totally agree with you.
I find it strange that some think it is 'creepy'
We are a card giving family and both of us really take the time to find just the "right" card.
Both him and I always put our own words in the card also.
I would a little hurt if he sent an e-Card, mainly because he has never did that and he knows how much I always love the cards he picks out and I like to save them.