Dysfunctional Family in Disney World

[mcnuss]

spent months planning, reading, listing, gathering information just to have it go right out the window.

Ok, please don't take out your flamethrower, because I feel your pain, I really do. I used to be completely OC about our vacations, especially the Disney trips, and when everyone else was having fun, I was the one fuming that they were "ruining my plans!". Well, a few years ago DH and I were going on a cruise, and nothing went right, I mean absolutely nothing. From the flight being 12 hours delayed (yes, 12, and thank God we went the day before) to the excursions getting changed, all my plans - out the window.

Since then, I barely plan. I make a few PS's and have a basic idea of which parks on which days, but other than that, we go with the flow. We decide based on weather, mood, etc... We've been so many times, we travel during off-season, and we have hppers, so it makes it easy for us to do.

Don't get me wrong. I still have trip planning OCD. I live on these boards, and love to dream about my trip. What I've learned, though, is that I cannot impose this on my family anymore. It's not fair to any of us.

 

[nonnymouse]

I agree with you, Poohbear123 ~ I don't coerce my DH into going anymore. He just doesn't enjoy it, so I go with other family and have a ball!

 

[JesseBlue]

One trip DH and I were bickering from the minute we woke up. It was our 4th day and we had done a park blitz the previous 3 days. We were exhausted! We had just arrived at the MK and the bickering reached the brawling stage. I told him he was stubborn as a mule. He said oh yeah? well, if I'm a mule then you're a cow! This was on Main St. USA, the happiest place on earth! People were STARING at us. I started laughing and he turned right around and went back to the resort. He took a long nap, a swim in the pool and met up with us later. Sometimes even the closest families need a break from each other. DH and I rarely bicker never call each other names. I guess WDW just got the best of us that day.

We learned a few things that year. Do not overplan and then expect to stick to the plan. Always skip a day between park touring for R & R. Sleep is very important! Lack of sleep will turn even the adults into whiney little monsters. We don't have to spend every waking moment together. Our vacations have been wonderful ever since!

 

[frazzled one]

I'm feeling better about our '97 family trip now that I realize that so many other families aren't necessarily feeling the magic 24/7. It took me a couple of years before I could even look at the pictures from that trip, because I was so disappointed and hurt at my family's behavior - ESPECIALLY dh and our oldest dd, who are like oil and water anyway. I did learn a couple of valuable things -

1. There are certain qualities that almost guarantee you'll have a great vacation - flexibility, consideration for the other guy's POV, a positive attitude, etc. If you're travelling with folks who don't possess these qualities in real life, a vacation in WDW won't instill them. Can't expect what folks don't have to give.

2. Sometimes a family vacation just isn't a good idea. I see now that dh never really wanted to go on vacation as a family, felt major stress from being in such close quarters with the kids, and resented spending the money. Since then, I've taken the girls on short vacations, which we've all LOVED, while dh stays home to golf. Part of me is sad we can't manage a family vacation when so many others can, but at least we do have happy memories of our mom-only trips.

fraz

 

[Schmeck]

BarabraMB, and all the others as well, I feel your pain! My family experienced this on our last trip, this past October. It was our 3rd trip to the World, and the girls (8 and 11) were the perfect age for long days at the parks, I thought...

They started bickering, bugging each other, the second day. The third day it got even worse. Finally, I smartened up and asked them why they weren't happy! And they told me they were tired, that they wanted to be asked what rides to go on, etc... Gee, was I supposed to include them in this vacation?

Anyways, I finally got the hint, and slowed down, asked them what they wanted to do, etc. What worked out best for our family was to give each girl a map,and ask them what attractions they most wanted to do. One day we would do dd8's choices first (trying to keep them in a logical order in the park) and the next day it was dd11's turn. Even hubby got a turn!

Of course, they did whine a bit over who got to plan the first day, but then I told them they could either stop complaining, or take a nap, or I'd never take them back to WDW again. I'd go by myself! And they know I would too!

Schmeck, who just realized that this was the beginning of dd11's whiny, crying 'she always gets to go first, you like her better,etc' preteen phase, which is now peaking at age 12

 

[lwestwise]

Did you notice recently that dysfunctional family in Disney?

I was almost scared to read further, I thought I might read a reference to my family. 19 of us. The highlight of emabarrassment was my SIL wearing his 110% REDNECK T-Shirt to 1900 Park Fare, Princess Dinner.

DIL is on permanent PMS and Disney is not the place for that. She was determined that she did not do anything that anyone wanted to do. When we only had a few things that the whole family was scheduled to do, she made sure that everyone had to wait for her. Never again. The Kids were the only ones that behaved.

I know your feeling.

 

[BarbaraMB]

Thanks for making me feel better. I don't think we will be going to WDW any time soon. It costs us a fortune to go. It was extremely crowded when we were there which made it difficult to try and have everyone do what they wanted. I don't think that we would ever go in July again.

 

[Melora]

Well its nice to know that our family wasn't the only one that had a less than perfect trip.

Our first trip there was in August 2000..what a great month to take the family there.... heat, humidity and crowds.. now throw in 2 adults, 2 teenagers (15,13), an 11 year old, 5 year old and a 7 month old.

The 15 year old was at the height of his teenage pain in the a**ness. He hated everything.. "This is stupid, this is lame, why can't you buy me my own $12.00 spray bottle with fan, I don't want to share, why can't I hold the brand new video camera ALL the time, I do it better than anyone else" This went on every minute we were in the parks. We were so ready to strangle him. The 2nd day at Epcot my dh finally sent him away to be on his own with his 2 older sisters just so we could have some peace. Even the sisters ended up pleading not to have to be with him.
It came to an appropriate end when he got totally airsick on the flight home and puked on the plane.
Basically it was quite an experience.

We have since been back last Feb (without him..he stayed with his dad) and had a WONDERFUL time. Now we are going back in December with ALL the kids and the grandparents who have never been. My sons attitude is 150% improved (hes also 17 and headed off to the Air Force in Feb)and he can't wait to go and in his words "finally enjoy what he couldn't last time" He has apologised several times for his behaviour back then so I think we will all have a blast.

 

[KatelynnsAuntie]

Just had to add to this thread. Sometimes it's not just family members...On one of my trips I asked a girl from my church if she wanted to go...I didn't know her very well but she was single and I was single and we were both around the same age and I knew she like to travel so I though it would be fun. WRONG!!! She hated the heat. Plus, I am totally into Disney and she is not...'nuff said. She is not a parade or show person, not a character person, did not like to shop, only wanted to do E-type rides. I, on the other hand, have to experience it ALL!
By the 4th or 5th day we were barely speaking. I remember we went to the Luau at the Polynesian and didn't say a word to each other the whole time! She ended up going home a couple days early since she clearly was not having a good time, and I ended having a GREAT time there by myself for the last couple days! (I wouldn't want to go by myself all the time though.) Biggest note to self was: must always go with Disney Lover!

 

[NancyIL]

The heat can make even the most agreeable person cranky. I like going right after Thanksgiving when the weather is cooler, the crowds are lower, and the decorations are lovely.

Frankly, I enjoy going solo and meeting other like-minded DIS adults at WDW.

 

[summerrluvv]

I can understand completely! Last year DH and I went with our son. DH was picking fights left and right and complained about everything! A few months later we were separated LOL. I figured, if you can't get along at the happiest place on earth then thats a sign

 

[milmore104]

(((HUGS))) from a fellow wife of a "CRABBY" DH. I actually shouldn't say that. My DH loves WDW as much as me. The heat isn't the problem I am the one who is heat sensitive. He loves FL weather the hotter the better for him. If you've ever seen the family i the airport w/ the screaming little one and the husband and wife are yelling at eachother that would be us. My DH can not relax and say he's on vacation until he has actually walked into his room. He is in one mood and one mood only! We Have to get there!!!!!!! Now that 9/11 happened we can no longer get a direct flight from our home. I try to book a flight w/ as little a lay over as possible. You see my DH won't allow us to go anywhere or do anything while waiting for a plane. We can't use the restroom you have to use the one on the plane! Don't even think about getting some food. I have to bring it w/. I ghuess he's affraid we'll miss our plane of something. Who knows if only we thought like MEN!!!

 

[Mskanga]

Barbara, take it from me:
I am living with your dh's twin! My dh!
My dh is miserable in hot weather, he won't last longer than 2 hours in the park and still with that , we have to take it easy.
That's one big reason for us always to stay onsite. Two years ago we went in August, it was crowded, steaming hot and everyone was miserable.
This year I changed my tune completely, we went in February, the weather was in the 70's , didn't make "one" PS, didn't plan which park to go to on what day , we basically went with the flow. We did EE for MK one day and we stayed there until noon , then we went to another park, dd age 5 at the time was happy because she got to do her rides at MK ( she loves HM with the "scratch room" LOL ).
Our trip was so much more pleasant this time, we spent tons of time around Epcot and enjoyed things we never did before, spent a great deal of time at MGM and AK also. When DH would get tired he would go back to the Swan and take whichever kid wanted to go back if any, or would simply join us later on.
We have cell phones and at times in the park he would take one of the kids and go someplace , and I would take the other one. We will never go back again in the summer with dh , dh and heat don't get along. The kids and I can manage better and we are actually planning on us girls going alone next summer for two weeks.
So our next family trip is again in February 2004 for twoo weeks, I know we will be having a great time like we all did this year, we all agreed on that this year, the weather was so nice that we did not have to walk around with drinks like we usually do in the summer. Much better.

 

[Paperina]

BarbaraMB,

I'm also married to Grumpy. We've done trips with the kids since they were 3 and 6. I had the Disney fever - he didn't but went anyways. Well, several years ago I planned a trip with just the two of us during the food and wine festival- smartest thing I ever did! We had a blast and he caught the fever. We just got back last week with the kids - one wanted to sleep the mornings away and the other stayed connected to the telephone - but he has already told me several times how many days until the next trip with just the two of us in November.

The bad memories will fade and be replaced by only the good ones from the trip.

Good luck!

PS - We saw a lot of dysfunctional families! Someone just asked me to help a friend with their trip - they've never been, going in a week with over 20 people. They have no PSs or a clue about Disney - I know it will be disaster!

 

[momm2four]

It's so relieving to read this thread. I was able to go to WDW for the first time ever in October w/ my DH, DS7, DS5.5, DS3, DS20mts and my mom. I thought October would be great for comfortable weather, but it was sooo hot! One CM told us it was the hottest Oct in four or five years.

It wasn't a true disaster or anything, but I had read these boards for 8 months and had always dreamed of going to Disney, so maybe I had built it up too much in my mind. My two oldest sons
spent most of the time complaining and pouting about what we wouldn't buy them, instead of being grateful for what they did have. (We're working on that as I speak) The two little ones took turns crying and having meltdowns. We did the nap thing and midday swimming trips, but it just wasn't I envisioned it being.

I wasn't a commando vacationer at all. I suggested activities and the other adults and I would discuss and decide what we would do that day. I am praying that age will help, as we are going back in October 2005 and the boys will be 4.5-10 at that time.

Lori P.

 

[K9pal]

That brings back memories of our first vacation with my DH's kids. I had been to WDW several times and when we married, I talked DH into going with me. We had a blast! Couldn't wait to take the kids, who were 10 and 13. Of course that was LONG before the DIS (and even computers!!). What we didn't realize was we went in May and September when crowds were light, and with the kids we had to go in July. We were so excited and hyped it up with the kids, and of course when we got there it was 110 degrees and lines, lines, lines! They were more into thrill rides and at the time, Space Mountain was the only thing close to a thrill ride.
Oh, and we stayed in Kissimmee at a sleazy motel that had a vibrating bed!! That was the trip from he**. We do laugh about it now!!