Dynamics of your family

[Mom2Nick]

I am completely spoiled and anytime DH is ticking me off I really try hard to remind myself what a good man he truly is. I am not perfect - I do quibble at time over some things but I try very hard to acknowledge that he spoils me more then I deserve to be spoiled at times

 

[Nik's Mom]

When I was younger, I was more dominant and dh was more easy-going. I have really worked on toning down. I think we are a great team now. While dh isn't perfect ( no one is), he is a great husband and father. I'm a lucky woman.

I have to admit that there are certain things that I can't let go of. I still insisted on taking ds to school only days after having my 2nd son. Now that I think back on it, I realize that I was NUTS to drag around a new born baby and my 3 year old to preschool. There was no reason why I couldn't have dh do it. What was I thinking?!

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

We are both pretty passive so we work great together. We take turns on getting our own way and do chores the same way. It's a good way to live as we hardly ever argue or fight. Not saying we are boring though!

 

[pyrxtc]

We each ahve what we care about and take care of those things. He doesn't like how I stack the dishes to dry or that I wait until morning instead of right after dinner, so I only do them when he is not going to be around and I do them in the morning. We both vacuum and do laundry, he takes care of the outside stuff mostly but I will help when he needs it. I take care of the kids all day wiht school and summer stuff and friends and sports along with cooking dinner at least 5 nights a week. I do all the food shopping along with anything else we need for the household, it is always there and he doesn't have to ask for it. He works his but off at work and I appreciate that fully.

If anyone talked to me the way I've seen Kate talk to and about John, they would not only get ingored but also I would probably hit them and be gone forever. I couldn't live like that.

 

[MELSMICE]

Over our 21+ years of marriage I have learned that having it done "my way" is not as important as just having it done in a timely manner. I used to try to do everything because I wanted it done "my way". When I got my own business I had to let go of that control at home. I realized I am a happier person with more time on my hands to enjoy my family & my own free time.

DH does a ton of things around here - he washes, dries & folds all linens, goes grocery shopping every Saturday, takes care of dishes, even cleans if I ask him (but we have a cleaning service). So what if the linen closet doesn't look perfect.........so what if I can't find a utensil - it's around somewhere. If he forgets something at the store, there is one literally around the corner that one of us can run up to.

DH used to be anal about the way some things were done - especially with our 3 DD's. I finally told him that he needed to realize what I finally realized, "just because it's not done your way, doesn't mean it's the wrong way". It has served us well.

Because we both own businesses we spend A LOT of time together. We both do a lot of work out of our house. We have really learned to compromise & really complement each other in our marriage.

BTW - Our house is extremely neat. Neither of us like anything laying around, so everything is put away & in it's place before bed. We have even emptied the dishwasher at 11 p.m. so we didn't have to leave ice cream bowls in the sink overnight!!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

We're pretty "loose" around here with regard to who does what. I am not opposed to mowing the lawn, and DH is not opposed to doing laundry. Now, I will admit that DH might not "notice" the laundry piling up, so it would take a gentle "Hon can you throw in a load of wash?" to get him to do it, but he's not the type who would say "That's women's work" or anything like that (and yes, I do have friends my age...47...who have husbands who say and mean that!..but that's a discussion for another thread!). It's hard not to notice the lawn getting high because my friend brings her doggie over to run (my yard is fenced) and if we're out there and can't see the dog, the lawn needs mowing!

As far as how it gets done...we pretty much work the same...we're not fanatics but we like stuff done properly and not in a haphazard or sloppy manner, so if he does it, it's usually fine with me the way he does it.

 

[Hercules10]

Just me and the dogs/cat now. So they let me think I'm in charge and I let them eat me outa house and home.

 

[puffkin]

Interesting question...it always makes me wonder because when I read all the stuff about J&K I just don't get why people are so upset. Their relationship seemed pretty normal to me (minus 7 of the kids LOL). I like things done my way and most of the time my husband could care less. Honestly! He has certain "chores" that he does but on a whole things in our house are run my way (from cleanliness, to decorating, to major purchases, etc).

I do not do outside work (except for my flowers) or the trash. He also folds and puts away his own laundry because he is picky about that. I do the bulk of the cooking since I am home from work first and I pay all the bills. Other than that we pretty much split the chores. Works for us.

 

[61292cna]

My DH works, does outside chores, checks car needs, helps with my mom & our DD28's house & yard, & takens the trash out(when it is overflowing & I ask). I do the grocery shopping, the laundry, house cleaning, & manage the money on days I'm not working. We both share transit duty, & parenting(he's stricter) & major puchase decisions. On days I work he will cook or do dishes. other than the trash my biggest gripe is when he unloads the dishwasher. I don't mind if you take a bowl out & with no others like it you put it where you want, or you take the lone bowl & add it to matching bowls that you put wherever you want. I hate it though when he takes the lone bowl & even with matching bowls in the cupboard puts it wherever suits him, but I still love him. We get along much better since he's learned to just go in the other room & let me rant when I need to instead of trying to logic or jolly me out of it! Sorry I went on so long.

 

[hoosll]

DH and I have been together 36+ years. We compliment each other very well:

He sees things as black and white, he can be very decisive. I see shades of gray.

He thinks EVERYONE should do/react the way he does. It's my job to remind him that there are infinite ways to do/react.

He can be a cloud about some things and it's up to me to keep him grounded. But then sometimes, I am the cloud and he is my "brick"

He doesn't trust people (father issues). I can be too critical of others and too sensitive to criticism (mother issues)

We know each other's buttons and 99.9% of the time choose NOT to push them. We choose not to compete with each other and play to each other's strengths without exploiting weaknesses. In the end we know each other and accept each other as we are.

We know we cannot change, only compromise. Each one of us gladly gives more than 50% because we want the other to be happy. Sometimes, I am happy to be right, but I’m never happy that he is wrong.

Our children are our proudest accomplishment and I give my husband most of the credit.