Dump a friend from Disney vacation

[tink713]

Ok I don't think that this is on the right board but I need some help from my fellow disers. We are going to WDW in November and DH and I invited my friend and her boyfriend. They are fun and seemed liked they wanted to come. Now I'm thinking we definetly need to go without them. First my friend informed me that she doesn't plan on waking up until 11:00 every morning "it's vacation", and that she wants to lounge by the pool most of the day. Now DH and I are very Disney commando so this won't work for us. Also, we are sharing a room and I have a feeling her habits will drive us nuts. We want to do the DxDP cause we love Disney's restaurants but my friend informed me "I hope they have chicken fingers and fried dough cause that's all I eat" Great. It's her first time at Disney World and she thinks that it's like a big carnival or something. Now I need a way to gently let her down and uninvite her.

 

[Mrsjvb]

I'd first suggest separate rooms. as for her plans.. just be quite frank: we will be up for rope drop. if you want to join us fine, if not, call us when you hit the parks and we can meet for lunch or something.

for this very reason we REFUSE to go on vacations with other people, not even family.

 

[jimmiej]

You're going to need to explain to her how you "do" Disney. They can either get another room/resort, do it your way, or cancel.

We had some friends that kept hinting they wanted to go with us. We know they are, let's say "tight", with their money. We like to stay for a week+, stay at a Disney resort, eat TS meals, etc. When we explained that all to them, they backed off on wanting to go with us.

 

[wilde_oscar]

vacation even with close friends, not easy unless everyone is on the same page... make up an excuse... the dog ate my homework and you sound like you'll be boring on vacation.

 

[aurorae]

You definitely need to explain your plans, and have an agreement up front on some of the basic stuff.

We took my brother's family recently, and they have a DD5. All of us understood that our schedule was going to be set up around the young one, and our time in the Park limited to her stamina. We understood that up front, and everyone was cool with it, and we all had a great time.

We also all agreed to split up at times. Cell phones work well for getting back together again. So if someone wants to stay and relax in the pool, let them and go without them and meet up later.

 

[Mickey'sfriend]

Lay out your game plan and proposed schedule on paper. When you present it to her maybe she'll be the one to back out and you'll be off the hook!

 

[fairestoneofall]

I would suggest that you get separate rooms. That way, you both can vacation the way you want to. I'd explain to her your plans and then suggest the separate rooms, so that you each will have a good time.

 

[Chellymouse]

Definitely explain to her about the Disney way. If you want to sleep until 11am, lay by the pool all and whoop it up at night...go to the beach! I would make an intinerary and tell her what your plans are and hope she backs out. If not, I would suggest separate rooms and cell phones for when they want to meet up. That way, they aren't "stuck" with a DDP that they don't want or won't use and you aren't "stuck" living on chicken fingers or fried dough!

 

[WDSearcher]

Nothing says you have to be joined at the hip. It's their vacation too ... let them do what they want. Let them know your schedule and how you vacation. If they want to sleep until 11, grab lunch at the snack bar and then meet you in the park-of-the-day at 3pm, who cares, if everyone is happy? Now, if you feel that you can't enjoy your vacation because you don't think they're getting enough out of their time at Disney, then you need to simply tell your friend that. Tell her that based on your conversations about "vacation likes and dislikes", that you're thinking Disney may not be the best place for a dual vacation.

But remember ... she may think it's a "big carnival" now, but so did a lot of people before their first trip. And many of those people are now Disney freaks. Obviously, you should have had this discussion with her before you offered to share the vacation with them, but if you still want them to come along, you may have to compromise a bit to include them and their touring style into yours. You need to include them in your planning. If you don't want to do that and think it wll be more trouble than it's worth, just tell her the truth. And then maybe talk about other places you could go together that would work for both of you.

 

[baby1disney]

I'd have to agree with mrsjvb on this one. Tell them your schedule and what you always do when you're there. That way you're basically keaving it up to them to either tag along "your way" or leave them the room to do it "their way." Don't let it bother you!! It's your vacation, too!!!

And, that's another point I was going to make. Unless you and DH told them how "you guys roll" at Disney, then you really can't be mad at them.

I'm actually the same as her, as far as not wanting to get up until 10-11am. I would have noooo problem with that. I get up early everyday of the week and being on vacation and not getting up early would be fantastic!!! But, I learned very quickly that my DH's family are early risers with ADRs for everything(at least restuarant speaking). We're going to try and "take it easy" this year.

If you invited her along with you, then technically, it's their vacation as well. And they should be able to spend it how they want to...unless you're paying for them and that's aaaa whoooolllee other topic!!! LOL!!! But, if they're paying for their own way, let them do what they want. You know that Disney has a very special way of changing people's mind!!!

So, good luck with whatever you choose. Just follow your instincts, gut feeling, whatever. You'll do the right thing. And if I'm wrong, I'll give you my address and you can come beat me up!!!!

 

[demonskrye]

This is a pretty awkward situation. Withdrawing an invite for anything, especially something big like a Disney vacation, can put a pretty big strain on a friendship.

It seems like the easiest suggestion would be to see if you can get separate rooms and treat it like you're having separate vacations that will have some overlap. You and DH can get up early and do the activities you want to, then meet up with your friend and her boyfriend when they're ready to go. If your dining tastes don't really overlap, you can split up for meals as well.

What I'd do first is sit down with your friend and explain that you think the differences in the ways you like to approach vacations might cause some issues. Tell her that you're willing to make some compromises (which I assume you are willing to do in order to spend some time in the parks with your friend and her boyfriend), but either she's going to need to accept some changes to her vacation or be OK with the idea that you'll only be spending a limited amount of time together and things like you and DH getting up very early in the morning to go to the parks.

I would keep un-inviting your friend and her boyfriend as a very last resort if you absolutely can't work it our, since your friend could end up being very insulted or hurt that you changed your mind about wanting her to come along on your vacation. I'd also consider how frequently you visit the parks as a factor in how you approach this. If you only get to visit WDW very rarely, like less than once a year, then I'd totally agree that you should be able to spend your vacation the way you want to. If you visit the parks very frequently, then you might want to consider compromising a little more for the sake of your friendship. You could take the early morning hours to go at your usual pace, then meet up with your friend and her boyfriend once they're up and star doing things a little slower. There's nothing wrong with taking it easier on a Disney vacation; it's just a different way of doing things.

Good luck.

 

[karensi]

I would suggest that you get separate rooms. That way, you both can vacation the way you want to. I'd explain to her your plans and then suggest the separate rooms, so that you each will have a good time.

Exactly. This is just what I was going to say.
Your best case scenario woould be if your friend backed out, which may be a possibility, if,as others have suggested, you let her know your itinerary/plans.
If she doesn't back out, then the above post would probably be your best bet.


Good luck,


Karen

 

[jenndla]

This is a pretty awkward situation. Withdrawing an invite for anything, especially something big like a Disney vacation, can put a pretty big strain on a friendship.

Trust me from experience - nothing puts as much strain on a friendship than different vacation styles clashing...I agree with demonskrye - book separate rooms. That way there is no pressure to bow to anyone's will!

Maybe you could just start talking about how early you like to wake up and all of your touring plans and ADRs - that might scare your friend into her own room!

Good Luck! I am sure your friend will understand!

 

[summermac]

Separate rooms are the way to go. The 11:00 AM thing isn't bothersome to me at all b/c she could stay even in a shared room until then if she chooses (that's what cell phones are for) but the fact that you want the DDP and she doesn't gives you no choice but separate rooms.

 

[IndyClown]

friend informed me that she doesn't plan on waking up until 11:00 every morning "it's vacation", and that she wants to lounge by the pool most of the day. Now DH and I are very Disney commando so this won't work for us. Also, we are sharing a room and I have a feeling her habits will drive us nuts. We want to do the DxDP cause we love Disney's restaurants but my friend informed me "I hope they have chicken fingers and fried dough cause that's all I eat"

Tell her Daytona Beach is about 90 minutes that way ----->

Dump 'em!!!!

 

[tinka-belle]

I agree that they should have a separate room. You could present it to them that you will be up and out early, don't want to disturb them, and you WILL if you are all sharing a room. There are pretty good deals on rooms right now, some might extend into your travel dates.

Price out your room with the DxDP, then a room for your friends with the basic DDP or the new QS plan. If you want the DxDP for yourself, tell them that, and that everyone in the room has to be on the same package. Explain that it would be better for them not to have DxDP based on what they want to do, a waste of money and/or credits that they've paid for.

You don't have to dis-invite them, the cost difference alone might make them change their minds. Or they might suprise you and want to do it separately too. You can always meet up now and then for parks or meals. When I go with other people we make it a point not be joined at the hip as we all vacation differently.

 

[Livin'TheDream]

If I were you I would definitely get seperate rooms that way both couples can come and go as they please with out disrupting the other couple!! Plus you are on vacation, you might want to ....and you can't do that if you share a room....I'm just sayin'!

Then I would explain to her how Disney World "works". Tell her in great detail what YOUR plans are for the trip. If they have different plans such as sleeping in until the afternoon then by all means let them do so while you and your husband go and enjoy the day that YOU had planned....if they want to meet up with you guys later in the day then use your cell phones and set up a meeting spot.

If you have different dinning preferences then embrace that and eat together one night at a restaurant you all like, the next night go your seperate ways for dinner and so on.

I have gone on many cruises and other vacations with friends and have ran into these same issues. You just have to learn that you don't have to do everything the other one does and you don't have to spend all your time together.

First thing is to sit down and TALK so there isn't misscommunication and you both understand what your plans are before you get there.....that way there isn't the dreeded...."well, if I would have known this before, we would have stayed home!"

No matter what, enjoy life and your vacation!

 

[DSNY4ever]

Change your phone number and never speak to them again

We have had this problem and realized that we need to do Disney alone. We felt so bad for my Brother in law on one trip because he wanted to get up and go to rope drop with us and my sister wanted to sleep in and she wanted him to wait for her (luckily we had seperate rooms). As we left the hotel he was just staring out his window like a puppy dog while she was sleeping. It was pretty funny. As for my husband's side of the family...I don't think we will travel with them again- they wanted to go back to the hotel constantly, got there late and left early .

Good luck, I would suggest what other people said- suggest separate rooms and then just let them know that they can catch up with you and join in on the fun in the parks when/if they feel like it.

 

[jj1403]

I would make up some sample itineraries and show your friend you plans. Tell her they are welcome to join you or they can just do their own thing and possibly meet up for meals.

Definatley book seperate rooms.

Remember some first timers with no clue are usually pretty overwhelmed once they get to the World. Especially if you think disney is like a carnival!!

p.s. When I suggested DisneyWorld as a destination for our honeymoon, my husband asked "Are all we going to do was have a pancake breakfast with Mickey...because he wasn't a ride person. And now he is a ride fanatic!

 

[Luvamouse]

Well, first let me say I don't think I've seen such good advice--from everyone--ever, anywhere

That said, I do feel that it doesn't matter how many times a year you go to WDW, sharing a room with someone who even isn't familiar with your style of touring could cause problems if they find out part way through that they don't wish to be with you all the time. How do you go back to the room to rest, sleep, complain about the other people you're with... That said, you already know she won't like that way you do it and since you are great friends, I am with the posters who suggested letting her know how you and DH "do" Disney. Sooner rather than later. Suggest getting separate rooms so that they can keep the hours they wish and you and DH can do the same with no one feeling inconvenienced by the others hours. Bring up the Dining Plan and let her know you and DH will do it as it saves you a lot of money, but would cost her and DB a lot that they may not use... Let her know you guys can text or call anytime to meet up, but not feel any pressure. Or go the "here is our schedule, isn't it great" commando warning route and hope she changes on her own. Like many who've never been, she doesn't sound like she "gets it". Hard too until you are really there. But I think an honest "not sure if rooming together" conversation now is the best move. Or you may not be friends when you get home. Shoot, it happens with family!