Dumbest Celebrity Quotes

[C.J. Sparrow]

You know, celebrities aren't perfect. In fact, quite the opposite; I find most of them to have an average IQ lower than that of a baked potato. And another thing about them: even though many of them fail at thinking, they still engage mouth before making sure that their brains are in gear. And to make matters worse, even the smart ones make mistakes.

Hilarity ensues.

So, what are the dumbest celebrity quotes you've ever heard?

"George Bush doesn't care about black people!"-Kanye West,
"Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."-Brooke Shields
"What's Walmart, do they sell, like, wall stuff?"-Paris Hilton
"I think war is a dangerous place."-George W. Bush
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."-Dan Quayle

And one that just makes me want to cry.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."-Mariah Carey

 

[acesupercoolme]

Someone needs to backhand all of them.
Especially Mariah.

 

[C.J. Sparrow]

Someone needs to backhand all of them.
Especially Mariah.

Don't backhand any of them. Stupidity is not a crime.

Ok, you can backhand Mariah.

 

[acesupercoolme]

Don't backhand any of them. Stupidity is not a crime.

Ok, you can backhand Mariah.

Aww, I can't backhand Paris?

 

[C.J. Sparrow]

Aww, I can't backhand Paris?

Well, she doesn't deserve to be backhanded for a stupid quote, but she deserves to be backhanded because she's using her social status and her body to control the minds of this degenerate, so-called "society."

More quotes for your face!

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."-Ahhnold (LOLWHUT)

"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything you want."-Ivana Trump

 

[PurpleDucky]

what about that one quote with the tuna and chicken that jessica simpson said? lol

 

[STWolfe]

«I'm convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism.»
- Milos Forman, Film director

«You guys, line up alphabetically by height.»
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

«I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.»
- Britney Spears, on Blender Magazine (April 2004)


«I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.»
- Greg Norman, Golfer

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.»
- Chuck Nevitt, (LOL!!!!!)

«The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

«And now the sequence of events in no particular order.»
- Dan Rather, television news anchor


«The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.»
- Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

«I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.»
- George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB

«I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them.»
- George Bush

«I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.»
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

«Half this game is ninety percent mental.»
- Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager

«I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.»
- Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer

«It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

«I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.»
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

«The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush.»
- Sylvestor Stallone, Actor

«I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa.»

— Britney Spears

«I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

«Put the 'off' button on.»
- George W. Bush, Associated Press, 14th February 2000

«Food is an important part of a balanced diet.» (LOL)
- Fran Lebowitz, US writer

«He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.»
- Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer


«If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.»
- George Gobel (ROFL!!!!)

«If only faces could talk...»
- Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl

«I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me.»
— Jessica Simpson

 

[C.J. Sparrow]

«I'm convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism.»
- Milos Forman, Film director

«You guys, line up alphabetically by height.»
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

«I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.»
- Britney Spears, on Blender Magazine (April 2004)


«I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.»
- Greg Norman, Golfer

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.»
- Chuck Nevitt, (LOL!!!!!)

«The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

«And now the sequence of events in no particular order.»
- Dan Rather, television news anchor


«The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.»
- Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

«I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.»
- George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB

«I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them.»
- George Bush

«I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.»
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

«Half this game is ninety percent mental.»
- Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager

«I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.»
- Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer

«It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

«I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.»
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

«The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush.»
- Sylvestor Stallone, Actor

«I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa.»

— Britney Spears

«I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

«Put the 'off' button on.»
- George W. Bush, Associated Press, 14th February 2000

«Food is an important part of a balanced diet.» (LOL)
- Fran Lebowitz, US writer

«He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.»
- Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer


«If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.»
- George Gobel (ROFL!!!!)

«If only faces could talk...»
- Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl

«I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me.»
— Jessica Simpson

I LOL'd at at least 90 percent of those.

 

[imabrat]

In Ivana Trump's defense, even I don't remember the difference between fiction and non-fiction. Indeed, I never paid attention to Library class in elementary school.

 

[chisnpeke]

Kimberly Stewart - (on Jennifer Aniston) "I like her cuz she's like, homely. She must have something else going on cuz it's not like she's gorgeous or anything."

^I cannot believe she said that. Kimberly really needs to look in the mirror.


George W. Bush - "Too many obgyn's aren't able to practice their love with women across this country."

Dan Quayle - "I love California. I grew up in Phoenix."


Dan Quayle also didn't know how to spell potato.

Tara Reid - "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist"

 

[chisnpeke]

I love GWB quotes!

"Arbolist … Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees." -George W. Bush


"I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically." -George W. Bush


"We both use Colgate toothpaste." -George W. Bush, on what he had in common with Tony Blair

"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants." -George W. Bush

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." -George W. Bush

 

[C.J. Sparrow]

I love GWB quotes!

"Arbolist … Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees." -George W. Bush


"I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically." -George W. Bush


"We both use Colgate toothpaste." -George W. Bush, on what he had in common with Tony Blair

"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants." -George W. Bush

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." -George W. Bush

I feel sorry for the Dubya. He's NOT stupid, he just fails so epicly at public speaking. And that's why he's funny.

"I think that the film "Clueless" was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness."-Alicia Silverstone (This sounds like the beginning paragraph of a paper that an elementary schooler wrote!)

"So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"-Christina Aguilera (FAAAAAAIL)

And this isn't a quote, but a headline.

"PARIS OUT OF POKEY, HER FIRST MEAL MAY BE TACO BELL"-Fox News headline (that's SAD, I normally respect them )

 

[chisnpeke]

I feel sorry for the Dubya. He's NOT stupid, he just fails so epicly at public speaking. And that's why he's funny.

"I think that the film "Clueless" was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness."-Alicia Silverstone (This sounds like the beginning paragraph of a paper that an elementary schooler wrote!)

"So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"-Christina Aguilera (FAAAAAAIL)

And this isn't a quote, but a headline.

"PARIS OUT OF POKEY, HER FIRST MEAL MAY BE TACO BELL"-Fox News headline (that's SAD, I normally respect them )

That's what I love most about him. He's obviously not stupid but he just seems to be because of how he talks. I'm going to miss his speeches.

 

[Captain Brain]

Maybe somebody has recorded all of his speeches for Comedy Central use.

 

[chisnpeke]

Maybe somebody has recorded all of his speeches for Comedy Central use.

I hope so! If not there is youtube and websites and books devoted to Bushisms and his gaffes.

 

[Captain Brain]

I hope so! If not there is youtube and websites and books devoted to Bushisms and his gaffes.

When I was looking for a calendar for this year, I found one full of Bushisms.

 

[chisnpeke]

When I was looking for a calendar for this year, I found one full of Bushisms.

I'd love that if I could get myself into using a calender. Just seeing his not meant to be stupid quotes everyday would cheer me up.

 

[nerdylightbulb]

"YOU SMELL LIKE CHRISTMAS, JON!" - Brendon Urie
"Day One is officially over and they left us two minutes to spare, IT'S PARTY TIME, BABY!" - Zacky Vengeance
"And who's this new guy Joe? And now supposedly Blue can talk. What is that?" - Kevin Jonas (about Blue's Clues)
Pete Wentz: Do you have anything to expose?
William Beckett: No, not on camera. I'm not like you, Pete.
"I get really annoyed with photo shoots and interviews and handshakes. I’m a musician; God forbid I actually have time to make music." - Patrick Stump

 

[C.J. Sparrow]

When I was looking for a calendar for this year, I found one full of Bushisms.

I did too, a year or two ago.

Bush himself says that he laughs at them.

Here's a good one:

"All of a sudden you’re like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I’m going through."-R. Kelly

 

[SBubba18]

"I can see Russia from my house!" -Sarah Palin

"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." -Brittany Spears