Dumb things kids do

[ImDMous]

Raise your hand if you see a BOY pattern here.

(God help us all, moms of boys!)

My husband always says that he's my lucky charm because it's only by dumb luck that boys survive to adulthood.

 

[englishteacha]

My brother (Michael!) and sister are twins. My sister was the instigator, though. From the time she could stand, she figured she could use my brother as a step stool! She'd use Mike to climb out of the playpen, or over the fence, and my brother would watch her get up to all sorts of trouble.

 

[mrsheppo]

My DS (his middle name is Michael) was "coaxed" by a classmate in kindergarten to stuff a bean up his nose. I got the panicked call from the school saying I needed to take him to the ER as the school nurse could not get it out. I went down to the school and told DS that if he didn't snuff the bean out of his nose I was going to take him to the doctor and the doctor would take a foot long needle and stick it in his butt. The school nurse was amazed that all of a sudden the bean came flying out.

Also one evening I was looking for my younger DD and searched the house and could not find her. I was panicked until I heard noises coming from DS's room. There was a suitcase on the floor and he talked her into crawling in the suitcase and he zipped her up.

My youngest DD had a fixation with her hair for 2 years on Black Friday. The first year, she was at the babysitter's house and was coerced by one of her kids to give herself a haircut. When I came to pick her up that afternoon, she had no bangs and huge chunks cut out of her hair. We ended up having to get a 1/2 inch allover haircut to even it out.

The next year she was home with Dad and I came home from work. DD met me at the door and her hair was all plastered down and looked matted. I asked my DH what she did and he said he didn't know, he thought she put water on it. DD told me she sprayed her hair with the stuff in the red can. I thought she meant my hairspray but that was in a blue can. I asked her to show me the can and she showed me an empty can of Febreze air freshener that I had bought a couple of days before. She did smell very fresh though.

 

[Gorechick]

The next year she was home with Dad and I came home from work. DD met me at the door and her hair was all plastered down and looked matted. I asked my DH what she did and he said he didn't know, he thought she put water on it. DD told me she sprayed her hair with the stuff in the red can. I thought she meant my hairspray but that was in a blue can. I asked her to show me the can and she showed me an empty can of Febreze air freshener that I had bought a couple of days before. She did smell very fresh though.

" She did smell very fresh though." That one made me giggle.

 

[LoserMomma]

My boy is bad, but lucky. It's the girl who always ends up in crazy situations. We've had to call poison control three times on her. The first was when she licked all the ink off a picture. Just sucked it to the point where it was white paper again.

The second time she decided to use my son's topical steroid as sunscreen on her doll...the doll "died" from that one.

The third time she decided to put the sunscreen on herself and her brother. Except she used butt cream instead. Got very even coverage, but do you know how long it takes to get head to toe butt cream off of a 4 and 2 year old? Good thing we smelled it.

 

[superme80]

The third time she decided to put the sunscreen on herself and her brother. Except she used butt cream instead. Got very even coverage, but do you know how long it takes to get head to toe butt cream off of a 4 and 2 year old? Good thing we smelled it.

UGH! DS #1 has done this on numerous occasions. I have to hide it under the bathroom sink or else he will still do it! That stuff does not like to come out of hair!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Thought of another story for my brother. My dad has one of those little stands that hold your suit pants and jacket. One day my mom had been doing some sewing and left the room for a minute, but left the scissors and my brother on the floor of the room. Do you see where this is going?

Yep, Dad put on his suit pants, and found they had been embellished with "fringe". My brother had cut slits all around the cuffs of the pants.

 

[TwoCortWort]

I don't have kids but my niece has total meltdowns over nothing anymore and last October she some how found out her cousin went to Disney World while we were there and made some sort of comment along the lines we love Bella more than her and then reset her phone back to factory settings and said she was too immature for a phone. I am not even sure how she managed or knew how to do that. She ruined the phone and had to pay to have it fixed.

 

[PirateSnowmen]

When I was little, we had this HUGE beanbag chair in our basement. One day, when I was 4 or 5, my friend and I were playing in the basement and we started to wonder what was inside the beanbag chair. So, we unzipped the cover to the chair to find that it was filled with teeny tiny styrofoam pellets. We thought it looked like snow, so we completely dumped ALL of the styrofoam pellets outside the chair and proceeded to play in it. When her mom came over to pick her up, both her mom and my parents came downstairs only to find us (and the entire basement!) completely covered head to toe in styrofoam. It took my dad hours to clean it all up and we would still find those little styrofoam pellets in the basement years after it all happened. I still get grief over that

Growing up, my mom had a younger brother who was a complete daredevil. She said one time, when her brother was 5 or 6, he asked their mom if he could touch the radiator. She said, "No, don't touch it, it's hot." He didn't believe her, so he pulled his pants down and sat on top of the radiator. Needless, to say, it was HOT, he got to take a trip to the ER, and totally burned his butt. That's also the same brother that chased his sister (my mom) around the house with a HUGE butcher knife when he was about 10. When she ran into her room and slammed the door, he stabbed the knife through the door. Needless to say, my mom and her brother didn't get along very well.

 

[indimom]

How exactly were women denied the vote in this country for so long?

Things that make you go Hmmmm.....

 

[EllaM]

My brother is the king of stupid stunts when we were growing up. I love regaling his kids with his childhood anecdotes. My favorite begins: one day your dad and his friends were playing in the woods behind the house. Your dad says "I bet you can't hit me in the head with a rock!"

We use that phrase today to mean: standing still like an idiot just begging someone to give you stitches (or knock sense into your brain).

His son once left a lit candle in the kitchen cupboard. He said he wanted to see what was inside and needed light. His big sister saved their lives and the house that night. They all got a trip to the local firehouse to learn about fire safety.

 

[Sparkly]

When I was little, I used to jump on my bed and climb along the windowsill. One day I got stuck between my wardrobe and the wall. Luckily mum came up and saw that I was stuck!

I also had a dumb moment yesterday. I was standing in line for Dumbo and I leant against a fence. Unfortunately on this fence was a emergency exit gate where you pressed on a bar to open it and I nearly went flying backwards.

 

[crashbb]

For the parents of "nose stuffers" out there. Here's a really cool tip that may save a trip to the ER. I learned this when a friend's son stuffed two peas up his nose. They were somewhat smashed and impossible to remove. She's a physical therapist and saw this technique used once in the ER.

She had me hold him firmly around the chest, plugged his clear nostril, put her mouth on his mouth and blew. Peas popped right out. Score one for mom.

In the hallway in the Children's hospital, there a couple of shadow boxes of things pulled out of the ears and noses of children over the years - dating back to the 1930s or so. Apparently, this is not a new phenomenon.

 

[FigmentFinder]

Raise your hand if you see a BOY pattern here.

(God help us all, moms of boys!)

My son has not done too much really noteworthy. However my 2 year old DD is bonkers. She's the one who's fallen down the stairs, walked off things, jumped off the coffee table onto her head, does somersaults on the sofa, etc..

 

[Arielle22]

My younger brother had two noteworthy stories. When he was about 5 he was playing with a neighboring girl and tried to impress her by walking on the railing of their first floor porch. He fell and broke his arm (for the first of 3 times).

Another time he decided to put a cheerio up his nose. He was playing with me and our younger sister and he wasn't dared. He just decided it would be fun. Mom got it out using a turkey baster (not sure how that fit up his nose).

 

[JessB320]

My DS lord there are so many things that kid has done. At around 2 he got his head stuck everywhere, under the couch, the railing going up the stairs, under his dresser. He had stitches at 3 and 4 . Once at preschool he decided to jump off the slide and fly, landed face first on the wood beams that lined the playground . Turned his tooth black, stitches in tongue and chin. At 4 he jumped off his bed trying to land in the back of his Tonka dump truck. Bit entirely through his lower lip, again stitches. First day of kindergarten didn't like his shirt so he got the teachers scissors and cut several holes in his shirt " so he could get a transformers one" gave himself an awesome haircut as well.

 

[cmp1111]

I have one - sometimes you have to watch out for the smart, quiet ones... I have 10 year old twin boys, who, so far as I know, haven't matched this one of my own:

I was an only child, pretty quiet, pretty smart, and LOVED to read. Read in the car, read at dinner, read, read, read. So one day when I was probably about 4th grade age, we were at the local mall. I was reading and waiting on my mother on the 2nd floor of a big department store, near the escalator going down. I had my book in my hands and my back to the escalator. I leaned up against the (also moving) big black rubber handrail that escalators have. Keep in mind that those come up out of the floor and kind of go "up and over" before they start heading down. So I leaned on it and thought it was kind of cool that it would actually lift me up an inch or so, then I'd step forward again - all while reading.

Yeah, except that I got involved in my book, let it pick me up, then forgot to get off.

So now I'm more or less straddling the escalator handrail like a horse, facing the second floor, going down with a HUGE drop off to the side. Of course I started screaming, which drew my mom and a crowd of employees, one of whom, thankfully (I guess) knew how to turn off the escalator. However by then, I was about a 1/3 of the way down, which was more than a little freaky.

Truly, it was DUMB. Because I really didn't mean to "ride" it down that way, but I was certainly sort of leaning on it on purpose you know?

 

[PizzieDuster]

I just love all these stories...

 

[kellyg403]

My two younger brothers were always doing crazy things. One time when I was about 15, they were about 5 and 7, they decided to play golf in the livingroom while I was babysitting. Sure enough, the golf ball went thru the window. No cracks or anything, just a perfect HOLE where the golf ball went through. After all 6 us exclaimed and laughed about how great it was, we realized we were in deep doodoo when mom came home. So, we pulled the blinds and drapes hoping she wouldn't see it First thing she did when she came home was open the drapes!

I also remember the time my sis's and I got tired of our younger brother telling on us for everything and then getting his way. Again I was babysitting. My sister decided to tie him to the chair in the family room so he couldn't turn the channels on the tv and she could watch her show. I happened to be in the kitchen attempting to cook dinner. Hamburgers. I set off the fire alarm. I didn't know he was tied to the chair and we all ran out of the house after I called the fire department because the stove caught on fire and even though I 'thought' I had it out I was scared. They found my brother tied to the chair in the family room. We had a lot of explaining to do.

My kids have done some crazy things over the years. Hair cutting was the worst of it. My one dd did take the shelf things out of the dishwasher once and got stuck inside. If it hadn't been for the shelf thing sitting on the floor I would have never found her.

Kelly

I don't know why it wouldn't let me just edit the orginial post, but I wanted to say my youngest bro was the one always doing crazy things. He is a 'Michael' as well! Also, he had a first name basis with the nurses at the dr's office. He loved sticking Good n Plenty's in his nose, every chance he got. Do they even make those anymore??

Kelly

 

[sandynd]

I have one - sometimes you have to watch out for the smart, quiet ones... I have 10 year old twin boys, who, so far as I know, haven't matched this one of my own:

I was an only child, pretty quiet, pretty smart, and LOVED to read. Read in the car, read at dinner, read, read, read. So one day when I was probably about 4th grade age, we were at the local mall. I was reading and waiting on my mother on the 2nd floor of a big department store, near the escalator going down. I had my book in my hands and my back to the escalator. I leaned up against the (also moving) big black rubber handrail that escalators have. Keep in mind that those come up out of the floor and kind of go "up and over" before they start heading down. So I leaned on it and thought it was kind of cool that it would actually lift me up an inch or so, then I'd step forward again - all while reading.

Yeah, except that I got involved in my book, let it pick me up, then forgot to get off.

So now I'm more or less straddling the escalator handrail like a horse, facing the second floor, going down with a HUGE drop off to the side. Of course I started screaming, which drew my mom and a crowd of employees, one of whom, thankfully (I guess) knew how to turn off the escalator. However by then, I was about a 1/3 of the way down, which was more than a little freaky.

Truly, it was DUMB. Because I really didn't mean to "ride" it down that way, but I was certainly sort of leaning on it on purpose you know?

OMG, I needed that this morning! I'm not sure why this struck my funny bone so hard but I am CRYING from laughing so hard. Maybe it's because there but for the grace of God go I...I am a reader too, and have banged into things while walking and reading.