Dumb Guy Question for the Girls

[Mousecop]

Okay, here we go.

I'm sort of new to a board that is almost exclusively 'social' in nature. I'm on several other boards (some using the same software), but they are technical in nature and don't generate the amount of traffic this one does. This one is the hardest to keep up with for that reason (for me, anyway).

Being a single guy that's been attached over the years to several gals that have either been apathetic about Disney (and my experiences) to contemptuous of Disney (and my experiences specifically), I'm interested in finding someone that would at least be tolerant of the enormous effect Disneyland had on me in my formative years, and how closely I hold it to my heart. If she would even appreciate it, that would be so much better than what I've experienced.

(Don't worry - there's a question in here. Keep going.)

There are a lot of gals here that seem to be as much Disney fanatics as I am, and at least they seem to be interested in Disney Alumni. So, it seems a good place to share experiences.

What I can't determine are the rules of the road. I know that I feel very flattered when a gal reaches out to me in email or in a post, responds flirtatiously, or whatever. That seems to be an open invitation to start up a conversation and see where it leads. However, most women I've met think that a guy making the overture is, well, 'creepy.' So I respect that and don't initiate emails to someone I've never met.

Here's the question: what do you gals prefer? Do you want to be in control and make the first move? Is an unknown guy sending an email 'creepy?' Do you have to meet them in person first to be comfortable (i.e. make sure they don't have a parole officer)?

I'd sure like to hear from the distaff side on this.

(I subscribed to this thread, so I'll be able to stay up with it.)

 

[rebecca06261]

I completely see where your confusion comes from!

After us women have been here for a little while, most of us will have experienced "trollers." These are the men who don't post on the specific thread but send a seemingly innocent private message initiating conversation. This ultimately leads to a little more and then you eventually find out that he's doing this to many of the other single DISers out there too. Suddenly you feel like a stupendous fool and want to avoid all private messages from the men....

So this should answer the "why" portion of your question. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer as to how to proceed

 

[shyjade]

I really don't know how to reply to this question either. But I've been "approached" through PM by a MARRIED man, who openly discussed his upcoming trip with the wife and kids on other threads, then flat out hit on my in PM's (I did nothing to initiate). That, I have to say, was downright creepy and insulting (as a divorced woman who caught her ex being unfaithful). I mean, really, what type of guy does that?! Almost made me want to agree to take him up on his offer and meet up with him on our upcoming trips (same resort, same dates) - but not actually do it, and instead tell his wife what he tried!!!!



My advise would be that it's okay to initiate conversation on the SINGLES board, as long as you do it in a respectful and non-stalker way....

Good luck!!

 

[nurse.darcy]

My answer is simple dear.

Simply ask, very politely, if it is okay to initiate conversation. You can do it in a PM, an email, or directly on the board if you are so bold. Most of us now know that you are a real and genuine person so you would not appear to be a troll or not the real deal. Of course this is for you personally and not anyone who has not been "out there". The other way is attend as many dismeets as you can to get to know people. The more people know you the more they are willing to trust you. This is my humble opinion and I do not speak for everyone.

 

[jadedbeauty14304]

My answer is simple dear.

Simply ask, very politely, if it is okay to initiate conversation. You can do it in a PM, an email, or directly on the board if you are so bold. Most of us now know that you are a real and genuine person so you would not appear to be a troll or not the real deal. Of course this is for you personally and not anyone who has not been "out there". The other way is attend as many dismeets as you can to get to know people. The more people know you the more they are willing to trust you. This is my humble opinion and I do not speak for everyone.

I agree wholeheartedly with Darcy. Be polite and ask if they would like to chat. One time right after I came on the singles board, I got a PM from a man who quoted my post that I had posted my pictures on and titled the message "wow" and said "Hi JadedBEAUTY" and very politely introduced himself....LOL It was the perfect mixture of creepy, funny, and nice and totally got my attention.

 

[PaulaSB12]

My answer is simple dear.

Simply ask, very politely, if it is okay to initiate conversation. You can do it in a PM, an email, or directly on the board if you are so bold. Most of us now know that you are a real and genuine person so you would not appear to be a troll or not the real deal. Of course this is for you personally and not anyone who has not been "out there". The other way is attend as many dismeets as you can to get to know people. The more people know you the more they are willing to trust you. This is my humble opinion and I do not speak for everyone.

Another one for just ask, but remember some of us over over the pond so you might get caught out by the time difference!

 

[BarbieGal457]

My answer is simple dear.

Simply ask, very politely, if it is okay to initiate conversation. You can do it in a PM, an email, or directly on the board if you are so bold. Most of us now know that you are a real and genuine person so you would not appear to be a troll or not the real deal. Of course this is for you personally and not anyone who has not been "out there". The other way is attend as many dismeets as you can to get to know people. The more people know you the more they are willing to trust you. This is my humble opinion and I do not speak for everyone.

I also agree. If a guy was very nice and mannerly about it, I wouldn't be creeped out at all! I think it you do it politely and privately, it would be much easier for both parties. I know I definitely am more open to nice, polite PMs instead of ones that are really out there or too flirty, etc. I say go for it!

 

[DisneyTN]

There are a lot of gals here that seem to be as much Disney fanatics as I am,.... Here's the question: what do you gals prefer?

Welcome to the boards!
A suggestion from a fellow dumb guy. I would refrain from using the word "gal" in over excess.

 

[rebecca06261]

I like "gal." I think it's charming and kind

 

[MATTERHORN]

Welcome to the boards!
A suggestion from a fellow dumb guy. I would refrain from using the word "gal" in over excess.

Yes, it's M'am we don't really care for!!!

Andrea

 

[MATTERHORN]

Have to agree with what most have said here! And I don't think that was a dumb question at all!! Just ask, most of us true Disney gals are sweet and wouldn't take it the wrong way!! And if you don't try, you'll never know!! I've met some great people that I probably would not have been as close with had they not PM'd me and vice versa!!

Good luck! Have to add that DL is also a HUGE part of my childhood and I think that is important that you find someone that can understand that!! Hard part for me is most of the men here frequent WDW, and while I'm sure it will be great, it can't hold a candle to DL and the memories I have from there!

Andrea

 

[Stacy's a freak]

Welcome to the boards!
A suggestion from a fellow dumb guy. I would refrain from using the word "gal" in over excess.

haha - "gal" is the female equivalent of "fellow". And that makes me laugh.

 

[disneymiss]

I would say "just go for it" some will answer and some will not, and by the way are you in any of the pictures on the security site????

as for WDW and DL, I too have things I like about both and am always comparing the two, although my memory of DL is from my youth. Gee I am not that old LOL not yet 50 but do remember real mermaids in the submarine pond.....now does anyone else remember them and that when Tink flew it was a real one without the LED wings.....

 

[jillfelice]

What I find awkward is not knowing how old people are. I am 51, and thinking the 20 somethings aren't going to want to hang with some one their mom's age
I got an invite from someone to join them at Le Cellier, and found there was an age difference between us. However, in IMing we had a lot of giggles and decided to just hang out for the dinner as opposed to a "date."

I think a non-date is a lot more fun anyway. A date is too much like a job interview.

 

[magicmouse2]

I am sure if you contact a girl in a nice and polite & friendly manner, (not stalker like, or coming on too strong) you will likely be fine.

 

[Mousecop]

First off - thanks for all the advice from the 'gals' out there (and I'm glad to see you appreciate the use of that word. I intended this to be an informal discussion and, although women seem to refer to themselves as 'girls' I wasn't quite comfortable going there. Plus, I grew up in the West, so it's either 'gals' or 'fellers.' Especially on the West Side of DL.).

I think the thing that makes 'Disney girls' (from the Beach Boys song; don't kill me) attractive and, if I may be so bold, sexy is their love of the magic. Growing up near Hollywood and working at DL as I did, the magic seems to have embedded itself into my psyche. I remember being 14 years old and being allowed to walk through MGM studio before they tore the back lot down. I remember Universal Studios when the Munsters was the main house on the backlot tour. I remember Tinkerbell flying down from the top of the Matterhorn to *>thump!<* into the stack of mattresses piled right above Fantasyland First Aid, backstage in Fantasyland. Being able to work in a place that captured the magic of the movies was just too special for words.

What's been bruising emotionally is to have that BIG part of my life discarded like so much debris. I've been accused of living in the past and so forth. I say "so what?!" Those are exceptionally happy memories for me, from Canoe Races (yes, I still have a couple of the old T-Shirts) to hanging with Jan and Dean and Papa-Doo-Run-Run, to Security's Wednesday evening Choir Practice after work and across the street from Harbor House at the abandoned movie theater. Picking up aluminum cans when I worked the Parking lot and tossing them in the back of the scooter so they could be recycled and used to fund the end-of-summer party.

And memories of the train, too, like riding through Small World and waving at the guests in the boats, or taking the microphone (a big no-no in those days) and telling people about the "Topiary gardens, where trees and shrubs grow in the shape of ... plants."

So, yeah, it's important. Here I think it would be appreciated; someone I met from here would 'get it.' I'm 54, and frankly I am not interested in dating gals that are 50-something-going-on-70, or forty-something-going-on-80 (of which there are a lot). I feel 54-going-on-30, and I sense the same spirit in women on this site, which is also tremendously attractive to me. I'm too curious about the world to stop exploring and poking around.

Anyway, I don't want to truncate the discussion, but wanted to express my appreciation for, well, appreciating me. And suggesting how I might be able to make an overture to those I've been curious about. I've met Glenda, Fatima, Angy, Teresa and a few others, so I think I passed that review. Now I just have to get up the courage to put myself out there.

I'm not in the current set of pictures on Mousecops (I guess Bob MacDonald, webmaster, has finally updated them), but there's a picture or two of me on the Baltimore DISmeet thread. If I could figure out how to get one into my profile, there's be one there as well. I put one in the galleries and tried to link it, but no ideas. The avatar I've chosen is too important to change, more so since it was removed from the DL Security office about 12 years ago and lost to antiquity.

Mark

 

[DisneyTN]

The story behind my "Don't Say 'Gals' comment".

We were having an in-depth discussion during one of my social sciences classes. We somehow got on the subject of male chivalry, or lack thereof. One lady commented: "If a man ever calls me a "gal" again, he's getting kicked in the family jewels."
The class laughed, but most of the women in the room agreed the term was too redneck, even for East TN.

Just a warning to save a brother from some pain.

 

[rebecca06261]

Cute story TN. I'm beginning to wonder if it's a generational issue then.... Mousecop- Evidently those of us over 30 are a-ok with the term "gal" and chicks under 30 are not okay with it

 

[Mousecop]

Mousecop- Evidently those of us over 30 are a-ok with the term "gal" and chicks under 30 are not okay with itQUOTE]

Thanks, Rebecca. Too bad you're so darn young that I can't call you a 'gal.'

It kinda makes me wonder where the generational crossover is for Frank Sinatra appellations from "The Lady is a Tramp" (i.e., 'broad,' etc.). 90+?

I remember being younger and reading a line in a Mickey Spillane novel that described a woman as a 'broad.' I was so naive, I thought they misspelled "board." It didn't make any sense to me either way.

 

[acm563]

Mousecop- Evidently those of us over 30 are a-ok with the term "gal" and chicks under 30 are not okay with itQUOTE]

Thanks, Rebecca. Too bad you're so darn young that I can't call you a 'gal.'

It kinda makes me wonder where the generational crossover is for Frank Sinatra appellations from "The Lady is a Tramp" (i.e., 'broad,' etc.). 90+?

I remember being younger and reading a line in a Mickey Spillane novel that described a woman as a 'broad.' I was so naive, I thought they misspelled "board." It didn't make any sense to me either way.

Good morning Mark, and I for one would much rather be called a gal or a chick or a girl than to be called a broad.... Of course I am way past 30 chronologically....