Dude, get up

[MinnieTink]

Just got back from 6 great nights at WDW. Everything was great....just have one issue. Had to vent here.
One morning, I took the 3 kiddies to AK by myself. The bus was full so we had to stand. I was holding an 11 month old baby, and had my 7 and 11 y/o daughters w/me. There were 9 or 10 full-grown, healthy-appearing men on the bus, sitting in seats. Not a one offered a seat. Duuuuuude. (picture Crush the turtle shaking his head) I don't know. Just thought it was very uncool. I was on several other busrides tho, where people did get up and offer their seats to others who needed it more. So I guess chivalry is not completely dead yet.

 

[delilah]

I know what you mean. I've stood holding a sleeping 5yo on the bus. I'm short, and need to hold the low bars on the seat, and somebody was pushing me to stand where I couldn't reach one. Now, that was dangerous, and uncomfortable.

 

[Blue Skies]

Our family just got back yesterday from WDW. My DH did not give up his seat very often on the bus this trip. He looked "okay", but the whole trip he was fighting a case of bronchitis and asthma (the heat really did not help).

My point is that sometimes someone looks "fine" - but they really need a seat too. If someone is healthy - then yes - they should readily give up their seat for someone in need.

 

[keishashadow]

Hint - we've waited for the next bus (allowing other's behind us to board) so that I could sit; balance problems; usually don't have to wait more than 15 min. in the am...safety 1st

jmho, while DH & DS always give up their seats to the needy, you never know if a "healthy-appearing male" is - disabilities aren't always readily evident.

glad the rest of your trip was a success.

 

[the Fidge]

Part of the charm and grace of my father is the fact that he could be sitting there with a broken leg and still get up to be a gentleman. See to my hero acting or being ill or sick does not fit the imagine of a man. My father even got up in the doctors office. He was there with a fractured hip. I insisted he return to his seat.

His response, I am a man no matter my condition and being a gentleman should always be first in a mans life!

My son is truly blessed to have the benefit of being near a TRUE gentleman!

My son and husband will offer their seats and I as well to a Mom with a young child or baby or elderly.

BTW, I am a former strap hanger and so was my Dad! SO its still out there!

 

[DisneyDeeva]

I'm not a dude....middle aged dudette here.

I can't remember the last time I had a seat on a full WDW bus. Even when I snag a seat while boarding, I almost always give it up to a small child, parent with baby or elderly person. It just feels so "Disney" to put a smile on someone's face...especially at the end of a long day at the parks.

 

[MOmousefan]

One of the great memories of our June trip was how polite everyone was on the buses between the parks and PoP. Someone was always offering a seat.

 

[pooch]

Part of the charm and grace of my father is the fact that he could be sitting there with a broken leg and still get up to be a gentleman. See to my hero acting or being ill or sick does not fit the imagine of a man. My father even got up in the doctors office. He was there with a fractured hip. I insisted he return to his seat.

His response, I am a man no matter my condition and being a gentleman should always be first in a mans life!

My son is truly blessed to have the benefit of being near a TRUE gentleman!

My son and husband will offer their seats and I as well to a Mom with a young child or baby or elderly.

BTW, I am a former strap hanger and so was my Dad! SO its still out there!

How truly blessed you are to have such a man for a father! DH and I try to raise our DD & DS to be this way. Always offer assistance, always get up, respect elders even if they're wrong, you know what the right thing is - DO IT!! We need more of this in the world!!

 

[JJ&JSMOM]

I'm also a dudette and I offer to help anyone regardless of whether male or female. I agree manners are lacking these days but I think most people will help out. I've given my seat up many times on the bus & I hope it rubs off on others whether male or female. One good deed deserves another, ya know!

 

[WillCAD]

This is an old and very hot topic here on the DIS and will provoke strong opinions on both sides.

The following comments are NOT directed at the original poster in this thread, or at any particular person who may have posted here. They are simply my general opinions on the subject and are not meant to offend, belittle, or insult anyone.

However, I am sure that many will think I;m a jerk because of my opinions. Fair enough. You're entitled to think I'm a jerk all you like; we just have to agree to disagree.

-----------------------------------------------------------​

My take on it is that while YOU may think the dudes are being rude for not offering to give you their seat, I think it's rude to get on a bus and automatically EXPECT someone else to give up their seat. What makes you deserve the seat more than the person who is already sitting in it?

"It's simple common courtesy!" is the battle-cry of those who constantly demand others to give up their seats on the bus. "It's just good manners!"

Well, to me it's simple common courtesy not to expect anything more than what you are legally entitled to; unless you are handicapped and entitled to the reserved handicap seats or the ECV spaces on the bus, you are entitled to nothing more than anyone else is - a first-come, first-served opportunity to sit, and failing that, a place to stand.

If someone is charitable enough to give you their seat, applaud their generosity and thank them. But don't whine and complain because not everyone you meet is willing to hand over that seat to you.

If you are concerned for the safety and comfort of your children and yourself, it's your responsibility as a parent to make certain that they always have proper seats and safety restraints in a moving vehicle. Any time you get on a WDW bus you run the risk of not getting a seat, which means that you are gambling with your kids' safety. I would never take an infant to WDW without renting a car and bringing a carseat.

This is why I rent a car when I go to WDW and use the busses as little as possible. I'm always guaranteed a seat, and a seat belt, and an airbag.

 

[bavaria]

Part of the charm and grace of my father is the fact that he could be sitting there with a broken leg and still get up to be a gentleman. See to my hero acting or being ill or sick does not fit the imagine of a man. My father even got up in the doctors office. He was there with a fractured hip. I insisted he return to his seat.

His response, I am a man no matter my condition and being a gentleman should always be first in a mans life!

My son is truly blessed to have the benefit of being near a TRUE gentleman!

My son and husband will offer their seats and I as well to a Mom with a young child or baby or elderly.

I read this yesterday and found it so offensive that I could not post a reply. But Will has paved the way for me to post. While I understand that you are proud of your father, to state that he is a 'true' gentleman because he would stand 'no matter my condition' implies that other men who cannot are not gentlemen.

acting or being ill or sick does not fit the imagine of a man

Frankly, every male is NOT able to stand on a moving bus, and simply being male does not mean that they should stand.

I have enough compassion for people to recognize that I cannot judge people on looks alone.

and I agree with Will - if it bothers you so much, rent a car and be assured of a seat.

 

[Praying Colonel]

I always offer my seat to a lady or child and teach DS16 to do so, too. My offer is turned down about half the time, but IMHO it's the polite thing to do.

 

[goofy4tink]

As previously noted...this is a hot topic, and gets people in an uproar. Please keep in mind that not everyone is raised the same way. While some may feel someone is rude for not rising and offering his seat to someone who appears to be in need, there are going to be those who may not have been raised to act this way. Rude? Ill-mannered? Perhaps to you. But if someone has no idea they are being rude, then I guess you can't blame them.
To come out and say that if someone does not get up and offer his seat to someone who is standing, especially a mother holding a child, think again. There can be issues you know nothing about. Yes, it could also be just a 'I got on first, I get to sit' mentality. And guess what guys??? There is no way you are ever going to change that mentality.
As was already stated, if you see that people are standing on the bus and you don't feel safe doing so, wait for another bus....rent a car...whatever, it's your choice. But, as I tell my 31 y/o dd, not everyone is going to measure up to your standards. Accept that and do the best you can.

 

[NancyIL]

But, as I tell my 31 y/o dd, not everyone is going to measure up to your standards. Accept that and do the best you can.

You have a 31-year-old daughter?

It's common courtesy to offer your seat to someone holding a small child or who appears to need to sit down, whether you're a male or a female. It's not just the "dudes" that ought to give up their seats. On the other hand, I've been on a bus plenty of times when small kids were sitting on seats when they could easily sit on a parent's lap - thus freeing up one more seat for someone else.

 

[cigar95]

My take on it is that while YOU may think the dudes are being rude for not offering to give you their seat, I think it's rude to get on a bus and automatically EXPECT someone else to give up their seat.

There's no reason that both of the above cannot be true.

If I can avoid the notion of "rude", I'll just say that in most cases one will be better off by not assuming that someone else should be expected to give us something they have. But at the same time, we will often be better off as individuals if we are willing to give something we have to someone else.

On both sides of the equation, it is often the best course to put others before ourselves. (There are exceptional situations, of course.)

 

[goofy4tink]

You have a 31-year-old daughter?

It's common courtesy to offer your seat to someone holding a small child or who appears to need to sit down, whether you're a male or a female. It's not just the "dudes" that ought to give up their seats. On the other hand, I've been on a bus plenty of times when small kids were sitting on seats when they could easily sit on a parent's lap - thus freeing up one more seat for someone else.

Yep, and an 34 y/o ds...but you won't find me trying to hold either of them anymore!!
I agree with you....I have gotten upn plenty of times. In fact, last time down (about 3 weeks ago), I got up and told a dad with his dd to sit. He kept sayng no, he was fine. I told him it was going to be tough holding her when the bus started moving...nope, he was going to stand. But, then the bus started, he started swaying, I got up, yet again, and insisted he sit. Which he did but with a very sheepish look!!! I think he was embarrassed to have a woman give up her seat for a guy.

 

[NancyIL]

Yep, and an 34 y/o ds...but you won't find me trying to hold either of them anymore!!

You must've had them when you were very young! Don't you have a 13-year-old, too? I thought maybe you had transposed the numbers!

 

[bavaria]

You must've had them when you were very young! Don't you have a 13-year-old, too? I thought maybe you had transposed the numbers!

Hey, no sucking up to the moderator! She is apparently very youthful at heart...

Now back to the topic at hand

On both sides of the equation, it is often the best course to put others before ourselves. (There are exceptional situations, of course.)

I am actually an eternal optimist, despite the crankiness I may display on this website. But if everyone followed this ideal, there would be nobody sitting on the bus - everyone would consider their fellow passengers and would stand!

the reality is that people all have different opinions and situations, and trying to prioritize who has the 'rights' to a seat is impossible

• children who shouldn't stand because it is not safe
• children who should stand and give a seat to their elders
• children who should be seated on their parent's lap
• children who should not be seated on a lap because it's not safe
• all men should stand regardless of health conditions
• all men except those with health conditions should stand
• all women should stand
• all women except pregnant women should stand
• all women should stand - pregnancy is not an illness but a condition
• all people over the age of xyz should stand
• all people under the age of xyz should stand

There is no one 'right' answer to 'who should stand', and any of the situations I listed above will offend at least one person.

And for those of you who apparently have superhuman powers and can read minds, use their xray vision to diagnose medical conditions, etc perhaps you may want to use those powers for the greater good of mankind

 

[kaytieeldr]

You have a 31-year-old daughter?

Shocking, isn't it, since just the other day the same daughter was 32? Er, I mean, because goofy4tink in person doesn't look much older than 31 herself (and I really DO mean that!).

Now, manners completely aside - what ever happened to common sense (yes, on both sides)?
- It makes little sense that the Guests (realistically, let's not limit this to the ten or so men in the OP's view) seated on that bus could not see or did not think or did not realize that a person standing on a moving vehicle and holding an infant was in a potentially dangerous position. While there are many reasons why SOME people cannot stand on a moving vehicle, it does not seem reasonable that everybody on that bus could needed a seat more than a woman carrying an infant.
- It makes the same amount of sense that a Guest in need of a seat on a moving vehicle would board a bus on which there were no seats available, in hopes of another Guest getting up, instead of either stepping aside at the front of the line or even getting off the bus upon realizing there was no seating, to wait for the next bus.

 

[cfknight]

Just got back from 6 great nights at WDW. Everything was great....just have one issue. Had to vent here.
One morning, I took the 3 kiddies to AK by myself. The bus was full so we had to stand. I was holding an 11 month old baby, and had my 7 and 11 y/o daughters w/me. There were 9 or 10 full-grown, healthy-appearing men on the bus, sitting in seats. Not a one offered a seat. Duuuuuude. (picture Crush the turtle shaking his head) I don't know. Just thought it was very uncool. I was on several other busrides tho, where people did get up and offer their seats to others who needed it more. So I guess chivalry is not completely dead yet.

I feel your pain! It happened to me one night after illuminations, I swear if I was any place other than WDW I would have yanked someone out of their seat. My kids and I have given our seats up many times for someone who diserves them more. Come on people, common courtesy goes a long way.