Dss 5yo birthday!!! Yay!

[DarlingDis]

Hello all,

We have a blended family and I am the planner (I am on DisBoards) I was chosen to plan our DS's birthday.

Neither mother (Mom or stepmom-me) want to do the cleaning so we have elected to have the party at a facility. We have to invite everyone in his class, but have elected to only invite a couple of kids from his t-ball team because he only really talks to one or two. Also, he has a game on his actual birthday so we are sending treats for everyone.

Here is my question.... Is is wrong for us to have an RSVP for the number of children and number of parents who are attending. If the children have siblings that are coming we need to know due to cost. Also the facility charges for adults due to space constrictions.

We are happy to pay the extra, but we are looking at 13 children in his classroom with 1 parent per child is 26 people. If we have siblings that will increase the cost.

Generally speaking I believe that you can count on 10% not showing up, but this is not a fancy party. We are having it at an arcade, so I am not sure how it will be taken to having parents RSVP for themselves as well as the kids.

What do you think?

 

[sksjasams]

When my DS11 was in kindergarten, whole class parties (or at least all the boys from the class) were popular. They were always at a venue (like bowling alley, arcade, etc). None of them included the parents or siblings. A parent would often stay, but they would just observe to the side, or maybe offer to help with serving food, but they never participated in the party, and neither did any siblings.
I would just address the invite to your DSS' friends. If a parent (& possibly sibling) want to stay, they will, whether you write anything on the invitation or not. This way it will be clear they are on their own for anything they want to buy. In our area, this is the way its done, and no one would ever take offense. I doubt the arcade would charge you for a couple extra adults sitting off to the side because they did not want to just drop their child off. I really wouldn't worry too much about whole families showing up...

Good luck and Happy Birthday to your DSS!!

 

[Cruise]

Just put something in the invitation that says something like "Due to our contract with Birthday Boy Arcade, we need to provide them with the exact number of guests attending. If you plan on staying with your child during the party, please include yourself in your RSVP count. Thank you."

If you emphasize that you need that information for the facility, people will be more likely to stick to the number they tell you is coming. But I'd still expect at least a couple people to show up with another kid in tow along with an excuse as to why.

 

[DarlingDis]

I really appreciate the information and responses. They have been pretty helpful. I am so looking forward to DSS birthday and do not want to have any $$ surprises.

 

[badblackpug]

Pad the budget. Just as there are some who will not show, there are some that will not RSVP and show anyway. It's better to be surprised by having budgeted too much, rather than not enough.

With a 5 year old I think you have to expect a lot of parents to stay, so I don't think asking them to account for themselves in the RSVP is a breach of etiquette, especially since you need an accurate head count for the facility.

The sibling thing I never did understand.... I am a firm believer in the rule that if your name is not on the invitation, you are not invited.

 

[mom2cookies]

I agree with the PP.

 

[SalandJeff]

Just put something in the invitation that says something like "Due to our contract with Birthday Boy Arcade, we need to provide them with the exact number of guests attending. If you plan on staying with your child during the party, please include yourself in your RSVP count. Thank you."

I think this is a great suggestion for wording on the invites. IMO, I would not mention siblings. I think this would be interpreted as "you are welcome to bring siblings" and you will incur a huge increase in your costs.

When we did dd's birthdays in K and 1st, there were a lot of people who did not rsvp at all, so be prepared to make follow up calls/emails.

Have fun!