DS16 got a job!! (but........)

[sbell111]

Look we will have to agree to disagree. I would let my son try it out if I had one. I only have dd's.

Would you let your daughter?

 

[happygirl]

Would you let your daughter?

If I had a daughter and she had a baby, I would 100% expect her to work full time.

 

[eliza61]

Wow,
I can't believe how "Absolute" every one is. No two kids are the same therefore no exact solutions will work.

Op, see how this schedules works for him. If he begins to drop from exhaustion and his grades begin to suffer, then a change is called for. Unless you own the restaurant, rarely does this business pay livable wages. unless it's a chain where he could possible move into corporate. Working full time for 300 bucks at 16 may be cool but at 33 it's a dead end with a life in poverty. not exactly how I want my kids to be.
If he is spending all his time between work and school with zero time to seeing his kid then it also may be time for a change. I can't imagine the mother of this kid would be happy if he spent zero time with it.

You are going to have to feel this one out.

 

[SandrA9810]

My cousin started working in the back of a restuarant at 16... He put himself through culinary school. He worked for a good 15+ years as a head chef of a top 10 in the country steakhouse. And after the owners split the business, he opened his own place. Not quite as high class (more casual setting, but still expensive), and he created his entire menu and makes everything himself. Starting a restuarant takes a few years before you build up clientel, but he's still doing farely well off.

So nothing wrong with going into the food industry. There is money to be made...

 

[luvsJack]

If I had a daughter and she had a baby, I would 100% expect her to work full time.

But wouldn't you want her to get an education so that she doesn't have to raise that child by washing dishes??

 

[punkin]

But wouldn't you want her to get an education so that she doesn't have to raise that child by washing dishes??

I applaud your son for stepping up to his responsibilities, but I think you have your answer right here. His first responsibility to that baby is to finish his education so he can support him/her (sorry, not sure what you've got). If you are willing to help them financially, he needs to focus on school and baby. He should keep looking for a truly part time job in the meantime.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

But wouldn't you want her to get an education so that she doesn't have to raise that child by washing dishes??

Exactly! Been there, done that. I didn't even have the excuse of having a child - I didn't have him until I was 24. Now DS is 13 years old, and I am back in school, wishing to god I had done it right when I was young!

 

[Cornhusk]

yeah, and all the manager was worried about was if he was an illegal without papers! he's not even mexican!

Yes. Because all illegals are Mexican.

 

[M5ward]

I would still have a problem with it being illegal and even though this kid is a father, he is still a minor. I would also be afraid that the employer would try and take advantage of him in other ways too.

My suggestion to her son would be for him to go to the manager before the next week's schedule is made and let them know how many hours he can work. They cannot fire him for reducing his hours if they are doing something illegal.
I wouldn't let my 16 year do it so the compromise is out of the question for me. Mine worked in fast food during hs and worked a couple of 3 hour shifts during the week and maybe 5 hour shifts on the weekends (maybe more if they closed). With those hours, they were told "as long as your grades do not fall". And they couldn't work at all during baseball season (coach's rule, not mine).

The statement I have put in bold print is very naive. They can (and probably will) fire him if he doesn't meet their needs. In this economy there are plenty of people looking for jobs..and jobs are few and far between.

 

[N.Bailey]

A 16 yr old in FL can't drive past 11pm. That would be another broken law.

While I've read that his mother takes him and picks him up, in my state, a minor can drive after hours IF they are leaving work and heading directly home. Certain paperwork needs to be filled out etc., but it's possible. I haven't looked up the laws in Florida, but perhaps they have have similar laws?

 

[happygirl]

But wouldn't you want her to get an education so that she doesn't have to raise that child by washing dishes??

Of course I would. There is no shame in getting a GED

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So he starts working there and it is not working out, so he applies elsewhere or renegotiates with the boss. I consider it a good learning experience. You know sometimes you have to have a job to get a job.

Just because he got a job washing dishes does not mean he is doomed to stay in that position.

I would expect my son or daughter to work if they had a baby and go to school if they were living under my roof.

Now if the OP is able to support the crew without money coming in, then alright different story.

I do believe this is the OP that has taken in the brother of the GF as well. Sounds like she needs the money coming in.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

If I had a daughter and she had a baby, I would 100% expect her to work full time.

Illegally, though?

I don't care who you are, but no parent should allow any person to take advantage of their child illegally.

No "ifs, ands, or butts".

I'm all about stepping up to the plate. But that doesn't give any employer the right to be flexible in which laws they will follow.

 

[mhsjax]

Of course I would. There is no shame in getting a GED

NO there isn't, but you need to go on after that and get some other training.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The statement I have put in bold print is very naive. They can (and probably will) fire him if he doesn't meet their needs. In this economy there are plenty of people looking for jobs..and jobs are few and far between.

This is where full documentation and a potential law suit would be in order.

Clearly the 16yo has no idea that they are treating him illegally.

Lawsuit to not "make money and profit"--but law suit in terms of having the employer prosecuted for illegal employment practices.

Usually, the employer will have that sign posted by the time clock or in a break room about where to call for violations. Yeah--I'd be on it big time if I got fired for expecting my employer to follow the law.

If the job requires the employee to be treated in that manner--then it needs to be for adults only.

A kid that became a parent at 16--did not legally become an adult.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

While I've read that his mother takes him and picks him up, in my state, a minor can drive after hours IF they are leaving work and heading directly home. Certain paperwork needs to be filled out etc., but it's possible. I haven't looked up the laws in Florida, but perhaps they have have similar laws?

They do but I do not recall what they were.

A minor is exempted from driving "after hours" as long as they are in transit to or from a school or employment activity.

But clearly--if they live only 10 minutes from work but took an hour or more to get home....that wouldn't apply.

This was teh case when I worked as a minor.

As for transport--who cares if the parents transported the minor to work? Mine did. I didn't have a car and only when they could spare the car, did I drive myself. Sometimes I walked 2 miles to work, but only in daylight. Never would I walk home by myself in the dark. Didn't do it then, don't do it now.

 

[N.Bailey]

OP, you're going to do what you're going to do. We can all tell you what we think or how we feel we'd react, but just because 1 person chooses 1 way and another makes a complete different decision, it doesn't mean 1 is right and the other wrong.

I'd imagine after working this type of schedule your son is going to get tired of working and going to school all the time. He will not have much of a life with his gf and new child. He's bound to feel that in the very near future. Hopefully it will teach him how important an education is. If he insists on keeping the job, I think it's imperative that you show him just how little money he really makes in the grand scheme of things. He needs to know this is his future if without an education. I did read where someone mentioned that someone moved up the chain to head manager, I would like to say that in a restaurant with 60 employees (as an example), there is only 1 head manager in that restaurant, thus, while it's not impossible, it's more the exception than the rule. I gotta tell you too, when I worked in a chain restaurant, I made more money than our management team (with a very few exceptions over the years and those top managers were constantly moved around from store to store). To make top money even as a head manager is truly more the exception than the rule (at least in the chain I worked at).

If it were my son in this situation (and my son worked at Pizza Hut for years while he was in high school), I would encourage him to talk to the managers to get his hours reduced, find another job, or stress that you're willing to carry the financial burden so he can complete his education. I know you've done this already, but I would always let him know he had an out. While he is a young father now, he is still a minor and I would stress that the job goes if the grades suffer. I wouldn't concern myself with how many people in a similar situation "did it" at that age. I would only worry about what was best for my son.

 

[N.Bailey]

They do but I do not recall what they were.

A minor is exempted from driving "after hours" as long as they are in transit to or from a school or employment activity.

But clearly--if they live only 10 minutes from work but took an hour or more to get home....that wouldn't apply.

This was teh case when I worked as a minor.

As for transport--who cares if the parents transported the minor to work? Mine did. I didn't have a car and only when they could spare the car, did I drive myself. Sometimes I walked 2 miles to work, but only in daylight. Never would I walk home by myself in the dark. Didn't do it then, don't do it now.

I don't care who transports him either. I had to take my son to work and back any number of times for any number of reasons. Initially, he was on a permit, but there were times when we pulled his car, he ran his car out of gas (he had - still does actually, a bad habit of this), he wrecked his car (don't get me started), plus a ton of other scenarios. Do whatever works for your family, IMO. There should be no shame or need of explanation.

In my state, there are other exceptions to driving after hours (firefighters - though I think they are jr. firefighters at that point), also can apply.

 

[N.Bailey]

My cousin started working in the back of a restuarant at 16... He put himself through culinary school. He worked for a good 15+ years as a head chef of a top 10 in the country steakhouse. And after the owners split the business, he opened his own place. Not quite as high class (more casual setting, but still expensive), and he created his entire menu and makes everything himself. Starting a restuarant takes a few years before you build up clientel, but he's still doing farely well off.

So nothing wrong with going into the food industry. There is money to be made...

There can be money to be made in the restaurant business, but few people know that it takes roughly 2 years to turn a profit in this arena for most (notice the word most, there are always exceptions to most rules) new restaurants (am not talking about the purchase of a pre existing business that has it's clientele built up). Few people can afford to have no income for 2 years, thus, many restaurants close that may have done fantastic if the owner was in the position to wait it out.

 

[luvsJack]

The statement I have put in bold print is very naive. They can (and probably will) fire him if he doesn't meet their needs. In this economy there are plenty of people looking for jobs..and jobs are few and far between.

If they did, they could be turned over to the wage and hour board. If a hs student does not meet their needs by working within the legal bounderies then they should not hire hs students. There may be a lot of people looking for jobs, that does not make it ok for the employers to do things that are against the law.