DS School Rant (opinions welcome)

[yoopermom]

DS10 came home in tears yesterday because he was given a detention for refusing to wear his hat outside at recess. Now, we do live in a cold climate, and the school handbook says "children should dress appropriately for the weather". However, here's why I'm steamed: he had hat, mittens, etc, with him, and we've always told him that, if he chooses not to wear them, that he will have to bear the consequences (which would be being cold, he's lived here all his life and understands frostbite). He's ALWAYS warm and I'm sure when he's running around outside at recess he gets really hot. If the parents and child are on the same page for this, what right does the school have to decide that he should be punished for NOT wearing his hat? There is no exact temperature, or exact clothing mentioned anywhere in writing. It's a myth that he can catch a cold from the cold. He wasn't being disruptive about it or sassing the adult in charge. By age ten, we, his parents, want to give him some decision making abilities, and this seems a logical place to start. So what does your kid's school say about winterwear, and is it logical?
He was really hurt by this, and I just think he's such a good kid!
Terri

 

[transparant]

I totally agree with you. My kids school just sends home papers saying to please make sure your child is dressed appropriatly during the colder months.

 

[Kimberle]

It is not the schools place to tell him what to wear outside. I think a conversation with his teacher is in order.

 

[Microcell]

I feel for you, but a school has no way of knowing who might sue for being negligent. I would blame our Letigious Society!

 

[ColoradoBuffaloMom]

I agree with you. My 13DS wears shorts practically all year round here in Colorado. I figure it is a battle not worth fighting and if he is cold, he will figure it out for next time.

Also I work at an Elementary school and at times have done playground duty. We remind the kids to take their coats, gloves, hats, etc but we can't force them. Also if they forget take the stuff outside one day and are cold, they will remember the next time. I can't tell you how many coats, hats and gloves get discarded on the playground because a child is hot.

Detention seems awfully harsh to me

 

[puffkin]

It is really time for the schools to stop trying to be the parents. I would contact the teacher and principal and tell them that since it is not in writing the exact temperature, then that gives your son the responsibility to judge when it is appropriate. If the teacher disagrees with him, they should contact the parent to press the issue. This is totally ridiculous.

 

[littleclover]

Just a quick question..do you know if it was because he refused to wear the hat or could it have been his response to the teacher when he was asked. I only ask this because I know my ds and he would have received it for the way he would have responded to the teacher. Of course, I don't find any of this out until I complain to the school. If it was just because he refused in a polite way, then for sure you need to contact the school. That is just not right.

 

[tarmand]

It is really time for the schools to stop trying to be the parents. I would contact the teacher and principal and tell them that since it is not in writing the exact temperature, then that gives your son the responsibility to judge when it is appropriate. If the teacher disagrees with him, they should contact the parent to press the issue. This is totally ridiculous.

I agree. I do not think it is the school's decision to make. If the duty teacher felt he should be wearing a hat and he told her that you said it was okay for him not to, it would be appropriate to send home a note or call and confirm this. Detention is a bit excessive.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I tell my son (also 10) to obey his teacher. If he was told to do something but didn't, I'd expect him to be reprimanded.

 

[POOH&PIGLET]

I feel for you, but a school has no way of knowing who might sue for being negligent. I would blame our Letigious Society!

Exactly!

It is really time for the schools to stop trying to be the parents.

Legally, schools act "in loco parentis" (In the position or place of a parent) so they have a legal responsibility to make sure that the children in their care are safe, well cared for, etc.

 

[TiggerPiglet]

Our school policy is also to dress accordingly for the weather, but they will also make the child wear whatever they bring to school. For example, here on the east coast in both spring and fall, it can be really cool in the morning and then warm up considerably in the afternoon. So, in the morning it might be necessary to wear a warm jacket, but by recess time, it is not necessary anymore, but since the child brought that warm jacket, they have to wear it, because the school assumes you sent your child with that jacket to school because you felt the weather warranted it. It doesn't matter that it has now gone from 50 to 70. I found this out from my daughter when she came home from school and told me to please not put her in such a warm jacket, because they make them wear to recess whatever they wore going to school. I know it's dumb, but I'm sure there have been instances where a parent got upset their child didn't wear their jacket outside for recess.
So, the school decided whatever the parent sent the child to school in is what they'll send the child to recess in. Again, dumb, I know. What I do now if I know it will be warm in the afternoon, I'll take her jacket off right before she gets on the bus, this way she won't have to wear it later on.
It sounds like maybe this is your school's policy too. Since your son wore the hat to school, he probably has to wear it to recess.
I agree with you the child knows whether he is hot or not, and should be able to decide if he wants to wear a hat.

 

[Maleficent13]

TiggerPiglet, I am amazed. Where I live, it can be 35 degrees at 7:30am when you catch the bus, and by lunch it's 65 degrees...this actually happened here just yesterday. If I put my kids in hats and mittens to get to school, they would actually have to wear hats and mittens in 65 degree weather at lunch??? This is the most bizarre thing I have ever heard.

 

[TiggerPiglet]

Maleficent, I was amazed too when my daughter told me this. Now I don't know if this includes hats and gloves, but I know it includes jackets. I would hope though that if there was such a huge jump in temperature like you described, they would not make them wear their hats and gloves, but who knows. I guess I'll have to see if that ever happens what they made my DD do.

 

[Madi100]

To the OP, I think it's great that you trust your child with making his own decisions. When I was a senior in high school my parents still told me if I could wear shorts to school I never made any decisions. To this day, I'm horrible at making them.

But, if my child was told to do something by someone in authority, I would expect them to do it. Of course, I would teach them that they are not to do things that are wrong morally. I believe that has to be taught in our society with sickos But, overall, they need to show respect for teachers and those in authority over them. If your child has a problem with something the teacher is telling him to do, then you should go to the teacher and talk about it. Do you know what kids would get away with at school if the teachers believe them everytime they said, "My mom told me..."

 

[Mickey_loves_Minnie]

Okay, I can see getting detention for not wearing his coat, but a hat? That's just silly.

 

[Madi100]

Okay, I can see getting detention for not wearing his coat, but a hat? That's just silly.

Was the detention for not wearing the hat or for refusing to do something his teacher told him to do?

 

[sharbear]

I see where you are coming from but try to see it from the schools point of view. I doubt that it's that cold in the UP yet but say it's Jan. and it -25 and your son refuses to wear his hat. He gets frostbite and you complain to the principal. He says well your DS didn't want to wear his hat and so we didn't make him. Now his ear has fallen off and you are so mad. At this point you would expect that a 10 yo could not be rational enough to make a decision and sue the school for not being responsible.

 

[gr8tpanther]

I would fight this one. When I was in school, elementary to be exact, I was told by a teacher to go back in the school and get my coat, I told her I didn't have a coat! I did, but I didn't want to wear it. Well, I was permitted to go out for recess. Later on that day, teacher found out that I DID have a coat! I got in trouble for lying even after I told her that I just didn't want to wear it. I lost alot of recesses, I had to write 500 sentences "I will not tell a lie"

I realize I got punished for lying, but that was um, 30 years ago and it was over a coat!

 

[disykat]

I agree with others - try to determine whether the detention was for the hat or his refusal before getting worked up.

If you only knew how many parents complain about teachers not making the kids wear their coats! When I taught first grade this was a constant complaint. I always "made" the kids take them out to recess, but they were free to take them off if they got hot and put them by the door. I never once got a phone call about kids being too hot, but every year I got one or two about not forcing them to keep them on and zipped.

 

[Tinkbell]

Sounds to me like your son probably refused to listen to authority and that's where the detention came from. How did they even know he had a hat? At our school, we stress that if you take your hat and gloves outside at recess, you keep them on. Why? Because we had too many instances where parents were blaming the lunch aides, teachers and school for their child's lost articles of clothing.