DS just not getting it with swimming. Any advice?

[lecach]

DS is 5 1/2. We have a pool in our neighborhood and my Mom takes him to the beach alot so he has lots of exposure to water.

He still seems afraid of the water though. There have been no traumatic events with water.

Our pool opened on May 1 and he still doesnt want to put his face in the water and has to be coaxed to jump off the side to me or DH. We have done swim lessons the last two summers and planned to do them again in June but now we're wondering if we should try something else.

We thought about private lessons. Or maybe sitting away from the pool at the YMCA lessons - if we're not right there maybe he'll focus more? Or just trying the different methods like kicking and blowing bubbles on our own.

We're just really frustrated because this is a kid that usually has no fear. We see kids much much younger than him diving right in. And since he IS around water alot there's a safety concern too.


Any advice?

 

[wishing4PA]

I like your ideas of private lessons or a class with you not there, as long as you trust the teacher in either case.

One thing that got my DD past her fear of putting her head underwater was playing ring around the rosy in a (not hot) hot tub. It was deep enough for 2 or 3 of us to go around and then all "fall" (breathe and kneel down quickly) into the water. The game got old for us creaky old adults far before it did for DD. But this was when she was 3 or 4, and it would depend on the kid liking that game.

I was lucky. My Mom used to teach preschool swimming, so she had a host of ideas handy. I don't know what I will do when it becomes my turn to help out as grandma someday. Good luck!

PS: You are north of us and your neighborhood pool is open already! I ought to fuss to our HOA!

 

[deva]

Goggles. Made a HUGE difference with my DS. He went from not going past the baby pool to swimming underwater in about a week.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

My DD was 5 1/2 last summer. I second the goggles suggestion. DD hated getting her eyes wet so she never wanted to put her face in the water. We started using goggles and she made progress really quickly.

The other thing that helped up was DD's best friend. She's about a year older than my DD and was comfortable in the water, on the slide, and off the diving boards. DD and I would meet her friend and her parents at the pool a couple times a week over the summer. Watching her best friend being able to do these things really motivated DD to try harder to get over her fears. She started the summer not even wanting to put her face in the water and was swimming without a life vest by the end of July. By the end of the summer we had ditched the goggles as well. She finally got over her fears and went down the slide and off the diving board on the last day the pool was open for the summer.

At this point, I'd say don't stress over it. It is the beginning of the summer, and there are lots of 5 year olds that can't swim. I'll bet you he makes a ton of progress this year.

 

[bumbershoot]

Ds has been taking nonstop swim classes at the Y since September or so. He's only now really really comfy in the water, happy to do "bobs" and get his face really wet.

If you've only been doing lessons during the summer, he probably barely even *remembers* those lessons, if what DS remembers is anything to go by (DS is just under 6). Sure, he remembers Disney trips back to 2.5 yo, but the other stuff in between? Nah.

How close are you to the pool? Can he see you? At our Y there are bleachers against the wall, so we are probably, hmm, 20 feet from the kids, and their backs are to us except for when they are getting back up on the ledge. Jumping in is done at the END of the lesson, after having a half an hour to get used to being in it, and not all kids will do it. Now, those kids aren't advanced to the next level (DS started with Pike and did that class 3 times, then Superpike 3 times...he's finally advanced to Eel level...the classes are 4-5 weeks long each time), they are held in the level until they have hit all of the marks well. They just keep on working with the kids until they get it!

So I'd get your son into lessons year round. It's working for us!

 

[Zeebs]

Firstly, you don't need a traumatic event to put them off, my son took a mouthful when he wasn't expecting it and that put him off, we are getting back on track and he has been in private lessons since he was 4months old he is now 4.

Goggles helped him as well. Sounds like he has lots of play time in the water, but this also helped out with Cullen if you take him for a fun swim he seems to get on better in his lessons.

Good luck.

Kirsten

 

[indimom]

We did the private lessons and the kids learned in a matter of three or four lessons what they hadn't learned in numerous group sessions. I would highly recommend going this route (AND staying as far back from the lesson area as you can, many kids will put up more fuss when they are nervous/uncomfortable and know their parents are around, mine included).
The lifeguards at our local pool are allowed to use the pool in the AM (before group lessons/swim team and free swim time) to teach private lessons. It was not terribly expensive (she was a teen and was happy to make a little extra) and both of my kids learned quickly. Well worth the time and $$.

 

[susykt4]

Last year was my son's third summer of lessons. He FINALLY got over his fear and started putting his face in and jumping off the side and dogpaddling and swimming underwater. Oh, he was 6 and had just finished Kindergarten. Our classes strongly discouraged goggles for the beginners, but I agree with previous posters that would have moved things along more quickly. Unless he's terrified, I'd continue with lessons. Especially since he's around water so much.

 

[ML_LovesDisney]

Good tips. My DD is 4.5 and is same way. I think I am going to do the private lessons this year with her, like you OP said, when they are around water so much, it's a must for them to know how to swim well.

 

[ShannonMB]

OP, I totally know where you are coming from! My DD was probably about your son's age when I started getting concerned that she was NEVER going to swim. She had been to lessons at the Y, etc, but not a lot of progress. She just did not want to put her face under. I decided to take matters into my own hands, got her some goggles (for sure helped!) and a boogie board to paddle around on. Once she had the goggles, DH would play a game with her holding up a number on his fingers underwater, and she had to go under to figure out what the number was. For some reason, she LOVED doing that (easily amused? ).

If your pool just opened, it takes a while for them to get used to being back in the water. Just keep exposing him regularly, get those goggles, and get in the pool with him and try some games. My DD is a little fish now, I'm sure your son will be, too, very soon! It's frustrating, but he'll get there!

 

[labdogs42]

A pair of good goggles helps as does getting the parent away from the pool for the lessons. As soon as I didn't have to be with him in the water for swim lessons (around age 3) DS was so much more interested in swimming! The place we go to has small group lessons -- max of 4 kids. Sometimes it does help to see the other kids going under the water and "surviving". If you can find a place that does small group or private lessons, go for it. Sometimes it can also be good to do a week of lessons all at once (e.g. one 1/2 hour lesson every day for a week). My DS learned a lot when we did that last year. He's 5 now and swims like a fish. We are still doing lessons so he can learn the individual strokes, but he can swim safely now, that's for sure. Oh yeah, a "floaty vest" -- Coast Guard approved swim vest can help, too. DS wore his a lot when he was 3 and still learning. He doesn't need it anymore, but it really helped him get more comfortable in the water.

ETA, and don't use arm floaties or anything inflatable to "help" kids learn to swim. Those are a big no-no with our swim school!

 

[angela152]

I agree with the suggestion of goggles and lessons without the parents. It is hard to not compare your kids to other people. I think in the end he is only 5 1/2 (my daughter isn't quite 6 yet), he'll get there in his own good time.

 

[bdoyledimou]

38 years old, and i don't like getting my face wet.
no tramatic events
i panic just having splashed water around me.

the two things that help me out is

1) Goggles
2) nose plugs.

as long as i have goggles and nose plugs i can happily dive splash etc etc.

 

[mjkacmom]

All of my kids have had year-round swim lessons since the age of 3. I'm a strong swimmer, but for some reason, my kids did much better without me. I think you should definitely put him in swim lessons. Some of my kids were natural swimmers, and others needed more help (dd9 got private lessons).

ETA - all of our YMCA instructors wouldn't let kids use goggles or nose plugs in the beginning (and never nose plugs). My dd13 HATED water in her eyes, and they told me she needed to learn to deal with it, because if she fell in without goggles, she would be more concerned with getting the water out of her eyes than swimming to safety. If the children start off with goggles and nose plugs, they'll never learn to deal with the water issue.

 

[lecach]

Thanks everyone! You've given me some good ideas and suggestions.

We have some goggles and I bought one of those kickboards and just remembered it (had it for months).

I think we'll do the lessons again and sit far back. We do YMCA lessons. We really like the teachers and there are only 5 kids in the class. He'll be in Pike again this year and will go two days a week for at least 4 weeks. Last year we sat right next to where the lessons are but its not required so this year we'll sit much farther away.

We'll also continue to practice in the neighborhood pool. My DH said that last night he jumped off the top rung of the ladder to him which is an improvement from Saturday.

 

[hbehrman]

Another thing is not about putting the face in the water but being comfortable not being vertical. You can practice in the bathtub by laying on his back, start out with it so the back is on the bottom of the tub, also so the tummy is on the bottom of the tub. Each time increase the water level so eventually he is floating and keep getting the water level higher, while doing this you can practice playing blowing bubbles in the water.

Ok, now to the pool. Are you setting a good example? Are you horizontal or vertical? Are you ALWAYS smiling and keeping eye contact, all but your head submerged.The parent should try to stay horizontal as much as possible. The toddler pool in the 1 to 2 feet section is great for this, and you can transition the exercises done in the tub to this new environment. If you don't have this you can try to use the steps leading into the pool. You can also bring things to dive with slowly getting deeper until he must put in his head to get it. Always praise and encourage. Also on the steps you can have him sit and blow bubbles with you. Also in deeper water you can do plunges with him holding your hands/you. Ring around the rosies, all found down both of you go under water or jsut counting 1, 2, 3 down you both go. Pushing off the side of the pool to you is good practice as well.

Also do not hold your nose/wear goggles. These are merely devices to put a barrier up and add a crutch to swimming properly IMHO. Most pools do not allow goggles to be worn for swim tests so he will have to learn to do so anyway, and they are just things to complicate matters. If there is a lot of irritation afterward inquire as to whether the pool is at the proper pH levels and chlorine levels, and use eye drops.

Good luck. Each child is different, but show enthusiasm and partnership in the fun. Always smile. Also incorporate stuff like this into games. It is frustrating, but do not show it. Rewards also work.. i.e. you can't go off the slide/diving board until..

 

[NotUrsula]

Also do not hold your nose/wear goggles. These are merely devices to put a barrier up and add a crutch to swimming properly IMHO. Most pools do not allow goggles to be worn for swim tests so he will have to learn to do so anyway, and they are just things to complicate matters. If there is a lot of irritation afterward inquire as to whether the pool is at the proper pH levels and chlorine levels, and use eye drops.

I understand your point, but for some people it is a matter of balance, a vestibular issue. They feel disoriented if they cannot see clearly, and being disoriented in water often leads to panic. (I know that if you have done any lifeguarding you've seen the phenomenon of a panicked person swimming down while trying to get out of the water.)

Vision can be another issue. My DH and DS both are legally blind without glasses. They wear prescription goggles while swimming, and it makes a HUGE difference in how comfortable they feel in the water. Without goggles they simply refuse to get in, because they cannot gauge the distance to the side of the pool.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Swim lessons that are conducted without your interference. YMCA lessons would be good. Red Cross swim lessons are good as well.

Always be a cheerleader and do NOT under any circumstance feel sorry for your child or be apologetic that they have to suffer. Children follow your clue and if you are timid and worried about their water exposure, they will feed off of that and they won't feel "brave enough to try".


I'm not sure about most pools--but in Florida, the American Red Cross lessons allow it. Both of my dd's in their post-ISR days have gone to those lessons and they do allow the goggles. But they pretty much knew how to swim prior to thos ARC lessons from their ISR background. We did ARC for stroke refinement.

 

[labdogs42]

Swim lessons that are conducted without your interference. YMCA lessons would be good. Red Cross swim lessons are good as well.

Always be a cheerleader and do NOT under any circumstance feel sorry for your child or be apologetic that they have to suffer. Children follow your clue and if you are timid and worried about their water exposure, they will feed off of that and they won't feel "brave enough to try".


I'm not sure about most pools--but in Florida, the American Red Cross lessons allow it. Both of my dd's in their post-ISR days have gone to those lessons and they do allow the goggles. But they pretty much knew how to swim prior to thos ARC lessons from their ISR background. We did ARC for stroke refinement.

Our pool encourages the kids to wear goggles. They do not allow nose plugs (mentioned in an earlier post). Even Olympic swimmers wear goggles. I don't see how it is a problem to learn with goggles on.

 

[crisi]

Another thought is let him learn to swim on his back. I STILL don't like water in my face, but I can be pretty safe around water because I'm comfortable swimming in a number of ways that don't have me putting my face in the water (I can do it, but I don't LIKE to do it). My daughter will never be a champion front crawler, but she gained a lot of confidence when she could float and swim on her back.